Dating Bipolar People - What you shou...
Peter

Boston, MA

#22 Jun 8, 2010
matt wrote:
add on to my last post:
At what point do I chalk things up to her illnes and getting on the right meds and completing therapy will eventually help. And what do I chalk up to her being an actual bad person to me?
I don't know if you read my story above, Matt, but, I recommend you think seriously about trying to fix your relationship with that girl. My ex-girlfriend did just about everything to me that yours is doing to you. I had to go to therapy for a little while, after it was all over. And that was only after seven months of dealing with her craziness. I can't imagine how much damage she would have done to me if I married her like the 52 year old guy just did. He is probably on his way to an early grave once she realizes what she did on the spur of the moment. She is very sexually motivated and if he can't keep up with her, I think she will look elsewhere for satisfaction. I realized after a while that she thinks that sex and love are one and the same. Her sexual past became a bit disturbing as It started to be revealed to me. Do what you feel is best for you, but, all these stories seem to play out the same way. It's like the bipolar people are all given a script for life that they have to act out. Most of them seem to take the same path. It's sad really. I still miss her, but, she's gone and I feel I am better off.
Peter

Boston, MA

#23 Jun 8, 2010
roshes wrote:
wow, i was reading this,, well first of all let me say i am very bipolar. Im a guy.. and im very crazy... I lie to people, i have very few friends, I take advantage of people, mostly because they take advantage of me through my disorder.. Im 21 years old and the longest relationship i have been in was like a month... It is all true... I lie to people, i blame everyone else for my mistakes, im stuck in the past.. I have been on hundreds of medications,, none of them work. I think the only drug that actually helps me is cannabis, I do alot of other drugs too.. The only other drug that really helps is snorting adderal or riddilin, but it might be making things worse
i need help, ok i mean I really need help... is this why i cant hold a relationship? Is it always going to be like this? I cant stand the thought of being by myself forever. I think i would rather not even be alive,
damn..Im really depressed now that i read all of this...
Every girl i date thinks im weird.. I just cant be myself when i am with a girl. I get really nervous. Like im always doing the wrong thing.
I have to go to school now, but i will bookmark this page.. I really need help, i hope someone here can help me out...
I recommend you read the book THE BIPOLAR ADVANTAGE. Make sure you get plenty of sleep, exercise regularly and eat healthy. Try a natural approach and find out about that product called: EQUILIB Also, read some books on how to raise your self-esteem. In my experience, my ex-girlfriend had very low self-esteem. I think it effected many of her choices and decisions. I really believe bipolar people hate themselves. It has been said, "You cannot love someone else until you love yourself." The fact that bipolar people become suicidal proves to me that they need to improve their self-image. Suicide is the greatest form of self-hate. People who are highly critical also have low-self esteem. Bipolar people are very critical, also. I truly believe that if bipolar people learned to have a higher opinion of themselves in a non-egotistical way, they would behave better. I saw my ex at her worst when she felt the most undeserving of love. Anyway, this is my theory from what I have learned and from personal experience with 2 bipolar people.(a girlfriend and a brother) Also, even though, I am not bipolar, I spent most of my life dealing with low self-esteem. I learned how to like myself more by changing my thinking and doing a lot of reading about how to build self-esteem. Once I started to like myself better, my life began to change for the better. Why can't it help bipolar people? Remember: WE ONLY GET OUT OF LIFE WHAT WE BELIEVE WE DESERVE. I wish you the best.
Peter

Boston, MA

#24 Jun 8, 2010
Just to help you out a bit more. Learn not to say things like: "I can't have a normal relationship with anyone." or "No one likes me, they think I'm weird."

Replace those comments with positive affirmations like:
"I am a good person who deserves to be loved!" and
"I am a trusting person who has a lot of good qualities that make me a good marriage mate." and
" I know how to control my emotions and I get better every day at becoming the best person I can be!
I hope that helps you.
Peter

Boston, MA

#25 Jun 8, 2010
Another great way to build self-esteem and change your life is to close your eyes, relax, take deep, long breathes and picture yourself as the person you want to be. See yourself acting the way you would like to. Picture yourself confident, happy and at ease in a social situation. Put as much detail and emotion into it as you possibly can. If you do this every day periodically throughout the day and put a as much emotion into it as you can, eventually your subconscious mind will see you as the person you think you are most of the time and you will become that person. Avoid negative thoughts about yourself as much as possible. Beating yourself up only makes you more depressed and tells your subconscious mind to be the jerk you think you are. You must learn to tell yourself you deserve to be happy and loved. It's hard at first, but, the more you do it, the easier it becomes. You have taught yourself to hate yourself, you can teach yourself to be a loving, giving and happy person that people like.I know from personal experience, it can happen. Go to the bookstore and find as many books on how to build self-esteem as you can. thumb through them and buy the books that hit a chord with you as you read parts of the book. It worked wonders for me. You have to read them every day till it really sinks in and you start to think more positive thoughts than negative thoughts. Then you will start to feel a change occur. You will begin to become the person you want to become. A great book that I recommend is THE JOY OF VISUALIZATION by Valerie Wells. It has lots of great visualizations to help you improve your self esteem, enrich relationships and reduce stress. Their are many, many other great books and cd's out there that can help you get emotionally well. Look hard and you will find what you need. WHEN THE STUDENT IS READY, THE TEACHER WILL APPEAR!
matt

Connersville, IN

#26 Jun 13, 2010
Hey, thanks for the advice. At this point we aren't talking. I told her I couldn't be just friends, and then told her I'd need a lot of time to be able to have a conversation. The thing is, she seemed upset by this. I think she wants total control of the situation and it seems like she believes that I'm always going to be there to pick up the pieces. I don't know for sure if she is actually happy or if she was/is having a manic episode and acted completely on impulse. The thing that was shocking for me was that while I have seen her act irrationally and spontaneously in the last ten months, there was never a time that this happened concerning me. She leaned heavily on me for support, then one day, nothing. That was hard to understand/deal with. I hope I can move on easily, but it's been a few weeks and it still hurts. I have the confidence to believe that I will find someone else, it's just that I don't totally want anyone but her. I have to get over that and I know it. Again, thanks a lot, and thanks for helping people out with advice.
Peter

Boston, MA

#27 Jun 13, 2010
matt wrote:
Hey, thanks for the advice. At this point we aren't talking. I told her I couldn't be just friends, and then told her I'd need a lot of time to be able to have a conversation. The thing is, she seemed upset by this. I think she wants total control of the situation and it seems like she believes that I'm always going to be there to pick up the pieces. I don't know for sure if she is actually happy or if she was/is having a manic episode and acted completely on impulse. The thing that was shocking for me was that while I have seen her act irrationally and spontaneously in the last ten months, there was never a time that this happened concerning me. She leaned heavily on me for support, then one day, nothing. That was hard to understand/deal with. I hope I can move on easily, but it's been a few weeks and it still hurts. I have the confidence to believe that I will find someone else, it's just that I don't totally want anyone but her. I have to get over that and I know it. Again, thanks a lot, and thanks for helping people out with advice.
I understand how you feel. I still think about my ex-girlfriend, too. It's just a natural reaction to a break up. It was only last month she got married. Plus, your bipolar girlfriend probably has the same effect on you as mine did on me. When a bipolar person is into you, they are able to make you feel like they love you so passionately and deeply that no one else can match it. They just feel things so intensely in spurts. But, that's the problem. It doesn't last. She told me she was madly in love with me and couldn't live without me many times, and yet, my ex married just another guy within 6 months. I hear she only dated him 3 months. So obviously, the love was not real it's just an illusion. That's what I tell myself. It helps. There is some nice girl out there who will truly love you for who you are. They wont be needy and inconsistent like the these bipolar women are. The feelings will last and be consistent. They wont run away from you for no apparent reason. They wont blame you for everything. And they wont try to manipulate you to always get their way. DON'T SETTLE FOR WHAT YOU DESERVE!!!! You having trouble letting go only proves your feelings are real. It proves you aren't fickle or a game player. Be proud of yourself and tell yourself you are a great catch. Lastly, all that being said, do what your heart tells you to do. Just base your decision on what you know is best FOR YOU! Don't base your decision on feeling this is your last chance at happiness or on the thinking that you can change her. Ask yourself: IS THIS THE TYPE OF GIRL I REALLY WANT TO BE WITH? WILL I GET HURT EVEN MORE IF I TRY TO KEEP THIS RELATIONSHIP GOING? AM I CO-DEPENDENT? IS MY HAPPINESS BASED ON SOMEONE ELSE LOVING ME AND NOT ON MY SELF-WORTH? DOES SHE REALLY LOVE ME? You have to make your own decisions. I left my relationship and It wasn't easy either. I realized, I wanted to stay with her because I was lonely and I was leaning to much on her loving me to define me. It was a hard lesson to learn. I am better for it. I wish you the best.
Peter

Boston, MA

#28 Jun 13, 2010
I MEANT DON'T SETTLE FOR LESS THAN WHAT YOU DESERVE! NO ONE SHOULD SETTLE! Patience is a virtue. Good things come to those who wait It's better to be lonely and single, then, lonely and stuck with the wrong person.
hello smith

Meriden, CT

#29 Jun 15, 2010
i have a friend who i care deeply about , we are both gay ,we met in the early 1980's and were very close then he did not want to pal around with me and would not talk to me . after 19 years we met and i asked him to bury the hatchet and we became friends again . this is a non sexual relationship . the first thing i noticed was when i had not phoned him in quite a few days ( he did not call me either ) when he called he said he never wanted to see me again and had thrown out everything i had given him ? well this how it has gone on for the last 3 years , just recently i have felt more like a caretaker than a friend , if i don't agree with him on everything he becomes angry and mad at me , he has dumped his meds down the toilet time and again , he calls and tells me he hates his family , then he loves them , all in the same day , sometimes hours . the last thing he did was stab a air mattress he was given and then had no bed , i got him a new bed , and other things , which i don't mind , he is a great guy when he is doing well . i have taken him on many many trips and paid for everything .( he does not work and has no money ) well the thing that finally broke the camels back was i went to the cape for a few days and did not take him along . i have taken him time and time again , well i told him i went away and he said he was angry with me , he felt betrayed that i did not take him , he said i had lied about my car breaking down which it did , and he did not want to be my friend anymore . i feel awful , i know it is his bipolar disorder but i feel like i just cant take it any more , i suffer from depression myself , i still love him as a friend , but sometimes in life you just have to let go , what should i do ? thank you all , i just wish the best for him , thanks
Thomas

Melrose, MA

#30 Jun 15, 2010
hello smith wrote:
i have a friend who i care deeply about , we are both gay ,we met in the early 1980's and were very close then he did not want to pal around with me and would not talk to me . after 19 years we met and i asked him to bury the hatchet and we became friends again . this is a non sexual relationship . the first thing i noticed was when i had not phoned him in quite a few days ( he did not call me either ) when he called he said he never wanted to see me again and had thrown out everything i had given him ? well this how it has gone on for the last 3 years , just recently i have felt more like a caretaker than a friend , if i don't agree with him on everything he becomes angry and mad at me , he has dumped his meds down the toilet time and again , he calls and tells me he hates his family , then he loves them , all in the same day , sometimes hours . the last thing he did was stab a air mattress he was given and then had no bed , i got him a new bed , and other things , which i don't mind , he is a great guy when he is doing well . i have taken him on many many trips and paid for everything .( he does not work and has no money ) well the thing that finally broke the camels back was i went to the cape for a few days and did not take him along . i have taken him time and time again , well i told him i went away and he said he was angry with me , he felt betrayed that i did not take him , he said i had lied about my car breaking down which it did , and he did not want to be my friend anymore . i feel awful , i know it is his bipolar disorder but i feel like i just cant take it any more , i suffer from depression myself , i still love him as a friend , but sometimes in life you just have to let go , what should i do ? thank you all , i just wish the best for him , thanks
I recommend you do a Google search: "Are you in an abusive relationship?" Go to some of the sites that pop up. Read the information. Get some facts and if you feel he fits the description of an abusive person, then, realize that you need to let go. No one deserves to be abused. I am very sure that you have low self-esteem. Am I right? People who get depressed alot and who have trouble getting out of bad relationships usually have a low opinion of themselves. You need to realize that self worth is vital to making right decisions in life. Do not let people who act irrationally make you feel guilty. They are responsible for their OWN actions, their OWN feelings and their OWN happiness. NOT YOU!! To build your self esteem, reflect on your good qualities and FOCUS on them everyday. What you focus on expands. Avoid beating yourself up with negative thinking. I hope this helps you.
Polar Bear

London, UK

#31 Jul 28, 2010
This is OUTRAGEOUS - I think I should get 'mind' to look at this. I can't believe you've put 'they' as if all bipolar people behave this way. It's like saying 'All men' you will certainly find lots of people agreeing with you if you say 'all men are this or that' but it's actually not true and bipolar is no different.
I don't drink (never have) or take drugs (never have) I've no obsessive sexual anything. I like to go jogging - erm is that some kind of expensive adrenalin sport?! I am always the first to apologise and blame myself (the biggest rumination during my depression is to do with blaming myself and not anyone around me).
There lots of different different types of bipolar - all effecting people differently. I think usually a lot hinges on the type of person who has the bipolar as well as what type of bipolar they have - the type of bipolar hasn't even been mentioned, have you even bothered to find out? You do know for example that type 2 sufferers don't tend to get mania I presume, only hypo mania which is far far milder, but type 2's tend to get much deeper depression than type 1s.
Most syptoms work on a sliding scale, so you can only have very mild symptoms or very severe ones, obviously, as I've said effecting whoever has them in different ways. So it's impossible to generalise.
What about rapid cycling or the mildest forms of bipolar?
Bipolar doesn't make you into a stereotype, if you had a room of bipolar sufferers (and I have been in a room of bipolar sufferers) you will find that they are as individual as anyone else. Yup some will be awful people because (hate to disolusion you chaps) lots of people without bipolar are horrible people and some of them will be great people - because again, lots of people without bipolar are lovely people.
If you want real advice, not just a very sweeping rant - visit some proper mental health websites. Mind are a great charity who specialise in supporting friends and families with mental health problems.
Yes, coping with a partner with any mental health problem will be difficult at times but an awful lot depends on the person underneath the problem. I've always been accepting and aware of my problem, but I don't use it as an excuse. I have a special bank card which only allows me to spend so much every month. My partner is in charge of the rest of my finances. I've no problem with this as part of accepting an illness is working out effective ways to manage it. To be honest though I rarely get any hypo mania these days (the cause of compulsive spending). My drugs seem to stop it.
Even before all of this I never borrowed or used any means to get money off other people - managing it was always solely my problem until I found out what was wrong with me and put preventative measures into play.
I'm sure there are people out there who aren't managing their illness properly because they haven't taken responsibility for it and to be honest not everyone can manage it, depending on what type of bipolar they have and what type of person they are.
But there are a lot of us that do. And to be honest, you wouldn't necessarily know that I have a problem these days. I'm in a very happy relationship with a fantastic partner and have been for years.
Don't tar us all with the same brush please. There are plenty of bad eggs out there who you wouldn't want to get involved with who DON'T HAVE BIPOLAR - lets get a little bit of perspective here. Sadly the only people you are going to really notice with it are the ones who (to be honest) aren't coping with it - which makes everyone think that the rest of us - who you wouldn't notice in a million years - are the same.
BiPolar 2

Lake Worth, FL

#32 Jul 28, 2010
Personally I think that Julie person is crazy. I may have my issues with my symptoms and I may be bitchy towards my husband but I'm the one working and supporting our family. I have bipolar 2 which is very different than 1 which is what my sister has. Lies? Something I don't do. My biggest areas of concern are hibernating in the bedroom, sleeping too much and as I already confessed to, being really bitchy. However, you also have to take into account the life episodes I've been through in the last 2 years that have all contributed to my mindset. Emergency surgery, marriage, unexpected pregnancy, having a child, husband being laid off, husband being hospitalized 3x within 16 months, need I go on???

If Julie's fiance of 9 YEARS is that looney I think she's looney for staying with him.

Since: May 10

Los Angeles, CA

#33 Aug 28, 2010
Me- ultradian rapid cycler BP I. Diagnosed 4 years ago. In hindsite been in my life since first year of college.@ 18 years.

This disease gave me a career as a professional athlete, and a pretty cool life path. Im 38 all amazing relationships Ive been in. I have no bad blood with any past relationships. All beautiful women but they didnt work out because mainly my lack of maturity, and insecurity on the other side. My life has gotten better with my BP worsening. Its given me less space to kid myself and make excuses.

Have I lied, duh, we all have and do. Manipulation? Loaded inference.

I'm no saint. Ive pulled my stunts but as a person living with severe BP I give it no credit to it. Its me how can I? lol come on.

I think the original post is an unfortunate example, but its comments/posts like that the make any person a person afflicted with BP a pariah. No fair.

Thanks for adding to the stigma.

p.s. you need to get to next that guy sounds like he's playing you. shouldnt give out your email to random people either.

gl
gregmech26

Columbus, OH

#34 Aug 29, 2010
Please do not ever tell her I said this to you, because Bipolar people have a very high suicide rate. This is just between you and me. I am sorry to tell you this, but you need to get away from her and stay away from her, as soon as possible. I am not going to sugarcoat this. Yes that is typical Bipolar behavior. Whatever you do, do NOT have kids with her, EVER. PLEASE.

She will continally cycle from being attentive, loving, enthusiastic, sweet, passionate, and "the best girlfriend in the world", making you have that addicting natural "high", to, suddenly verbally abusing you or cutting you out of her life, abandoning you, and ignoring you, and making you feel like you have taken up residence in hell or close to it.

You cannot out-stubborn a Bipolar. You can beg and plead with them to communicate with you, but they will NOT DO IT. Believe me, when they tell you to "leave them alone" they absolutely MEAN "leave them alone." They mean every word of it, in no uncertain terms, no matter how badly it hurts you to be the recipent of rotten treatment or abadonment, after they captured your heart, made you feel good, made you feel alive and excited and hopeful, and intrigued you.

And believe me, you wouldn't want to be around them when the depressive episode or phase hits them, anyway. You are better off being abandoned and not around them, when that depression hits them because their attitude becomes despicable. You also cannot "love" the bad mood out of them, by coming around to where they are, and kissing them or holding them, giving them soft words.

If you LIVED with a Bipolar woman, well dear, BE PREPARED!!!!! Some of them do manage to hold down jobs BUT some do NOT hang onto jobs and she just might be one of them who will refuse to work for very long! They will get a good job and be doing well at work, then BAM!...sure enough, one day, wake up in a bad, foul mood, and decide to stay in bed ALL DAY or play around on the computer ALL DAY playing silly Solitaire card games, dabble in internet gambling, or what have you, online, instead of getting dressed, straightening up, and going to work! So naturally, they get fired.

She may end up expecting YOU to take care of her, so beware! In that situation, YOU will be the one, making her supper and bringing it to her on a TV tray while she sits in her room on the edge of her bed all day, or stays in there sleeping, being online, or watching TV. She will NOT come out and join you at the dinner table, act pleasant, act appreciative, or offer to clean the dirty dishes...or offer you ANY FORM OF SUPPORT.

YOU will be the one stuck with doing the laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, and reporting to a job so you can "bring home the bacon" and cover all the bills. Do you know that some Bipolar people are on Disability payments from the government and live in Group Homes because their Bipolar makes them unable to cope with everyday, normal life? Is that truly somebody you want to be with?

Oh and certainly let's not forget...be ready, because they are UNRELIABLE! You can FORGET making plans like planning out trips and vacations and expecting them to actually show up every time like they are supposed to, and join you on the planned outing or event, because, on the big day, if they wake up in a foul, depressed mood, they will NOT show up like they are supposed to, even if everything is all paid for, planned, and non-refundable!
gregmech26

Columbus, OH

#35 Aug 29, 2010
Ever have your Christmas holiday ruined because of them? Ever been abandoned for Christmas with not even a phone call, when you were expecting a wonderful day filled with love, happy times, kissing under the mistletoe, exchanging presents, and a lovely dinner with your special someone? The ones with severe Bipolar disorder CANNOT be counted on or relied on in ANY WAY.

They will completely ruin your plans and hopes, no matter how big and important the event is to you, and how much effort you put into making it good. And guess what! They also like to get up and run off, sometimes staying out all night or for days at a time, without any word to you as to where they are going or when they're coming back!

Do you know they can't properly manage money, and sometimes have to have a "Payee" to manage money for them? Do you know they like to go out and blow money on things like gambling, alcohol, impulse purchases, rip-off places like Rentway, Rent-A-Center, or whatever trouble they feel like getting into at the moment? Even if it is very important money they were supposed to set aside to cover housing/apartment RENT?

Do you have any idea how much credit card debt they can land themselves into? Do you also realize that some of them also have a condition called Psychosis which will make them believe things that normal people realize are very obviously not true? Do you know they can fall for scams like the Nigerian fake check/phoney money scam for example, if they have Psychosis?

Yes, she will want to drift in and out of your life, be mean to you and then want to be let back in and come back x-amount of time later, and pick up where y'all left off, expecting you to take him back and all is sunshine and peaches again. Yes she will want to be with you at HER convenience, when SHE feels like it.

Yes, Bipolar people do remember the ones who love them and have loved them, and after their terrible depression phase passes, want them back in their lives, REGARDLESS of what they said before, with all that "stay away from me and leave me alone" talk when they throw those awful ice-cold or violent scenes that confuse you and drive your emotions into the ground.

You will REGRET getting involved with her, and regret it and regret it and regret it. You will lose years of your life with her, that you will never get back. Nobody stays young for very long. Do NOT ruin what is supposed to be some of the happiest years of your life.

Focus on getting educated and staying away from bad, detrimental women, please. She will suck the life out of you and probably end up sponging off of you. Have you ever found yourself paying her way to dinners or movies, by any chance? Do you find yourself putting up with things that you'd never thought in a million years you would ever tolerate from ANY woman?
gregmech26

Columbus, OH

#36 Aug 29, 2010
Also, here is a "gem" you will "love"...be fully prepared to be blamed for everything bad that happens to her, that was entirely not your fault, be prepared to be thought of as the source and cause of his problems that you had absolutely nothing to do with, and be prepared to walk on eggshells, having to analyze and strictly EDIT everything that comes out of your mouth before it comes out of your mouth when you speak, out of fear of offending her.

You will be making one of the worst decisions of your life if you choose to stay with her and an even worse decision if you choose to have kids with her. She is NOT wife material and she is NOT mother material. I am willing to bet you wouldn't even get one dime out of her for a child support payment.

If I could be blunt, I think you need to have a realization and conception of how many single women are out there in the world who would treat you right.

You do NOT have to settle for somebody like this, out of fear of being lonely. You need somebody who thinks of you...your well-being, your feelings, what benefits YOU, at all times, and cherishes your feelings and raises your self-esteem...remember, your emotions are precious and not something anyone should be allowed to dismiss or stomp on.

Yes she is mentally ill and yes I feel sorry for her. But being mentally ill does not give anyone a free pass, blank check, or magical permission slip to abuse anyone. They need to curb their attitudes, act civilized, and keep their impulses to indulge in bad behavior in check, and know when to just shut up and be nice, just like everyone else in society has to. I can advise you and advise you to stop seeing her, but in the end of course it is all up to you.

Do your parents know about her and how she has treated you? They must be worried sick about you and surely want you to find somebody better and stable who is decent and who has morals, who will NOT make you cry, and who will NOT flip-flop and flake on everything, throw and break things like a punk 10 year old brat kid, or be hurtful to you in any way. Please never base the value of a relationship on how good the sex is or how entertaining the woman is.

By the way, there are Groups right here on Yahoo which are themed on coping with the Bipolar loved one. You may want to look them up and join, in Yahoo Groups...just go to Yahoo Groups and run searches on Bipolar this and that. Those people in there who actually live with a Bipolar and have lived with one for a long time, can tell you EXACTLY what it's like and what they have to deal with as a result of choosing a Bipolar mate.

Be ready, it won't be pretty, but at least you'll hear the unvarnished truth. Take care. There ARE stable women out there who wouldn't ever dream of acting the way she is behaving.

Since: Apr 10

Location hidden

#37 Aug 29, 2010
gregmech26 wrote:
Also, here is a "gem" you will "love"...be fully prepared to be blamed for everything bad that happens to her, that was entirely not your fault, be prepared to be thought of as the source and cause of his problems that you had absolutely nothing to do with, and be prepared to walk on eggshells, having to analyze and strictly EDIT everything that comes out of your mouth before it comes out of your mouth when you speak, out of fear of offending her.
You will be making one of the worst decisions of your life if you choose to stay with her and an even worse decision if you choose to have kids with her. She is NOT wife material and she is NOT mother material. I am willing to bet you wouldn't even get one dime out of her for a child support payment.
If I could be blunt, I think you need to have a realization and conception of how many single women are out there in the world who would treat you right.
You do NOT have to settle for somebody like this, out of fear of being lonely. You need somebody who thinks of you...your well-being, your feelings, what benefits YOU, at all times, and cherishes your feelings and raises your self-esteem...remember, your emotions are precious and not something anyone should be allowed to dismiss or stomp on.
Yes she is mentally ill and yes I feel sorry for her. But being mentally ill does not give anyone a free pass, blank check, or magical permission slip to abuse anyone. They need to curb their attitudes, act civilized, and keep their impulses to indulge in bad behavior in check, and know when to just shut up and be nice, just like everyone else in society has to. I can advise you and advise you to stop seeing her, but in the end of course it is all up to you.
Do your parents know about her and how she has treated you? They must be worried sick about you and surely want you to find somebody better and stable who is decent and who has morals, who will NOT make you cry, and who will NOT flip-flop and flake on everything, throw and break things like a punk 10 year old brat kid, or be hurtful to you in any way. Please never base the value of a relationship on how good the sex is or how entertaining the woman is.
By the way, there are Groups right here on Yahoo which are themed on coping with the Bipolar loved one. You may want to look them up and join, in Yahoo Groups...just go to Yahoo Groups and run searches on Bipolar this and that. Those people in there who actually live with a Bipolar and have lived with one for a long time, can tell you EXACTLY what it's like and what they have to deal with as a result of choosing a Bipolar mate.
Be ready, it won't be pretty, but at least you'll hear the unvarnished truth. Take care. There ARE stable women out there who wouldn't ever dream of acting the way she is behaving.
What a one dimensional view of these special ppl! There is a reason all these posts are from people of all ages, male and female, who love their bipolar mates more than anything else... Yes, the good comers with the bad. But the good is better as the bad us worse. For some, the average and pedestrian does not suffice. There are plenty of SEVERELY bipolar doctors and lawyers out there who have figured their sh*t out, and integrate quite well. You also have Chinese who are bipolar, Jews who are bipolar, Blacks who are bipolar, WASPS who are bipolar, and bipolar trash. Trash don't work on themselves, recognize strengths and weakness and generally allow themselves to fall to the bottom. The only difference between trash and bipolar trash is that bipolar trash ca rise above for long enough to show someone else a vision of love. All you spiteful posters are talking about is bipolar TRASH!
matt

State College, PA

#38 Aug 29, 2010
I posted a few months earlier when I was going through my break-up with the bi-polar ex. It's a few months later and I'm in good shape. I am actually good friends with my ex, and she is doing very well now. I would have to say that reading some of the problems people have with bipolar partners was something that helped me understand my situation, but I will also add that it is not all cut and dried. There are people with BD that will go and get help, buy into it, and then lead normal lives. There are people that can be good parents, and good spouses, that have BD. The comments of Gregmech, are probably all true life experiences, but it says more about the personality and character of who he has dealt with than it does about all bipolar people. If you are in a situation with dating someone who has BD, then you have to understand how hard this could be, but if you believe they are worth it, don't just drop them from your life. Be strong, realize that you deserve good relationships, and don't let yourself become used, but there is a chance that he/she is right for you, and while there are issues that you will deal with, it can still be rewarding and right for your life.
ARC

Scottsdale, AZ

#39 Aug 31, 2010
this is just really really really sad.
Not all bipolars are horrible. It can be difficult at times yes. But it is difficult for them as well. If you meet one that is a lying cheating a-hole then run and move on, they are bad people..but don't run around making that about all bp's. Nancy how many bp people have hurt you? Just the one?? so from that you extrapolate that we are all evil??
Each person needs to take personal responsibility and when you are in a bad relationship get out...no matter what the reason, but don't blame the bp for all of it...The same way a bp can't use the disease as an excuse for everything...Sure it's hard but it is possible to mitigate the damage and to be respectful and helpful and loving even with the disorder.

roshes put all alcohol and drugs away all of that is making matters worse..only clean living and healthy habits can help us...we can not drink, we can not do drugs and we have to eat healthy and exercise...if you do those things it will get better.
Damo

Leichhardt, Australia

#40 Aug 31, 2010
JULIEXOXO......Bipolar is not a "disease".....it is a disorder, as the name suggests.......I agree with Bugj....you sound like a bitch.......oh and the "your reward will be in heaven" line.....please....
Sapphirejewel

United States

#41 Sep 2, 2010
Peter wrote:
I MEANT DON'T SETTLE FOR LESS THAN WHAT YOU DESERVE! NO ONE SHOULD SETTLE! Patience is a virtue. Good things come to those who wait It's better to be lonely and single, then, lonely and stuck with the wrong person.
I appreciate your words. Thank you so much for posting such helpful advice. It is a blessing that I am thankful for. Except for the marriage part, much of what you described feelings wise is what I went through a few months ago with a man who is BP2. Never again.

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