Trying to maintain a frienship with a bipolar person for many years.
Posted in the Bipolar Disorder Forum
#1 Sep 22, 2012
I HAD A PERSON WHO I WAS FRIENDS WITH FOR MANY YEARS. I HELPED THIS PERSON FINANCIALY AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE AND WAS SUPPORTIVE IN STANDING BYl tHIS PERSON THROUGH THE DEPRESSION AND MANIC TIMES. I HAVE BEEN ACUSED OF STEALING FROM THIS PERSON . EVEN THOUGH SHE KNOWS I WOULD STEAL ANYTHING FROM ANYONE.ALL I HAVE DONE IS GIVE ALL I COULD TO REMAIN FRIENDS. I HAVE FORGIVEN THIS PERSON OVER AND OVER AND HAVE SEEN AND BEEN TOLD ABOUT THE MANY PEOPLE THAT HAVE GOTTEN OUT OF THIS BIPOLAR PERSONS LIFE. I REALLY HOPED WE COULD ALWAYS REMAIN FRIENDS. THIS FRIENSHIP HAS BEEN THE HARDEST ONE I HAVE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE. THIS PERSON RECENTLY MET A NEW PERSON THAT IS NOW A FRIEND TOO. I AM GLAD THAT SHE NOW HAS ANOTHER FRIEND TO GO PLACES WITH AND SPEND TIME WITH OTHER THSN JUST ME. NOW HOWEVER I DON'T HEAR FROM HER ANYMORE AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT. WHY CAN'T THIS PERSON BE FRIENDS WITH BOTH OF US. I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WAD A GOOD THING TO HAVE MANY FRIENDS IN THIS LIFE. I FEEL VERY HURT AND ANGRY THAT THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR ALWAYS BEING A GOOD FRIEND TO HER. AFTER READING MANY OF THESE EXPERIENCES PEOPLE HAVE HAD THIS IS JUST ONE OF THE THINGS THEY DO. I WAD ALSO TOLD THAT EVENTUALLY SHE WILL PROBIBLY CONTACT ME AGAIN TO REESTABLISH OUR FIENDSHIP AGAIN. I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW IF IT IS POSSIBLE TO TRUST HER AGAIN. I FEEL LIKE SO MANY OTHERS THAT SAY IT IS A EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER RIDE. IT IS ONE THAT HAS LEFT ME VERY HURT WITH THID PERSON AND ANGRY WITH MYSELF FOR PUTTING MYSELF ON THAT ROLLERCOASTER TO HELL OVER AND OVER AGAIN. IF ANYONE HAS EXPERIENCED THIS WITH A BIPOLAR FRIEND IN THEIR LIFE. PLEASE GIVE ME SOME FEEDBACK. THANK YOU
#2 Sep 23, 2012
First, don't write in ALL CAPS. Most people will not bother to look at anything written that way. Second, being a good friend and providing financial support will never ever cure this person. It will as it is doing now, cause you pain. Don't answer her calls, texts, emails, knocks at the door, or contacts by others on her behalf. Run, jump, stumble, get up and get away from this toxic person. You cannot cure her, make her better, change her way of thinking. Your happiness is dependent on your decisions; so, decide to be happy and find other who treat you the way you want and deserve to be treated. You control who you have or don't have in your life. You must choose people who are kind, mature, rational, responsible, positive, productive, independent, and good to others. Good Luck and Go Forward; Don'g Go Back.
#3 Sep 23, 2012
Thank you for your responce is their anyone else who has had this kind of treatment from a bipolar friend? Is this just some of the kind of behavior to expect from them? I would really like to know if there are others who have had a bipolar friend and ended up being abused by them until you just cant believe that person ever really cared about you or your friendship. I am now very afraid to try and make new friends because this bipolar person has broken my spirit and self esteam along with it. I don't know if I can trust another person enough to call them a friend.I came very close to a breakdown because of this person and I am still struggeling to get back to my old self.I would really appreciate more feedback on this subject. Thank you
#4 Sep 26, 2012
>>Hurt and Angry...If I was to give you my initial impression of your friend,I would say that she wants you when she needs something whether it be tangible or intangible.When she doesn't need you is she around? There are many levels of bipolar as well as many types of people. People without a disorder obviously can display the same characteristics.I am bipolar--was mostly manic, but am recently taking a depressive turn--and I would say that without medicine,this is definitely what you can expect from her.You stated that you have been friends for years and I believe that history is your proof.Although I am bipolar(was in complete denial),I am very affectionate,considerate,witty ,smart,able to make friends,function normally(until recently),and maintain long-term relationships.But there is another side to me;the side that is irrational, judgmental,insensitive,selfish ,manipulative,enraged, and impulsive.Lately the bad that I would encounter on selective occasions has become more frequent.I do not trust people and I believe that they are trying to "win one over on me." (excessive negative thoughts)It is not something I feel that I can help without meds, and I have been off meds for about six months straight.I forget typical things and I worry about everything.When I was younger I could not make friends, keep a job, or finish anything I started.I can do all of these now but it is not how I feel it should be; and depression has kicked into overdrive. Hope this helps a little and good luck.
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