need help before january

need help before january

Posted in the Bedwetting Forum

sarah jones

UK

#1 Dec 17, 2012
hi i need advice im 13 years old and im starting a new school as a boarder in january im looking forward to it but im nervous because im also a bedwetter. How do boarding schools deal with bedwetting? I wear drynites at the moment , im also a bit scared of other girls finding out. I want to make new friends there.

“Essex and proud”

Since: Jan 12

Chelmsford

#2 Dec 17, 2012
Hi Sarah I'm Emily welcome 2 topix :). I'm incontinent so I wear protection day and night and I'm 17 and there r plenty of other girls out there who r incontinent or bedwetters so dnt worry ur not alone :). I can understand y u would b nervous it's hard enough dealing with bedwetting but much worse when u have 2 try and hide it. I've never actually been to boarding school so can't actually say but I can guess based on wat I heard and common sense logic :) I'm guessing that u will need to wear some kind of protection + it's likely they will put a mattress protector on your bed. As u already wear drynites it won't b anything new having 2 wear protection (u can keep wearing them). I think u and ur parents should meet with someone from the school to discuss ways they can hide your bedwetting. I'm guessing u could have a teacher/school nurse u could go 2 before bed who would give you your drynites so u can put 1 on then in the morning u could change and give them your drynites in a plastic bag. What type of pjs do u normally wear? I wear pj bottoms and a night tee (really long t shirt kinda like a dress but not that long) they hide my tena slip quite well and drynites would b invisible under that. Hopefully things will go ok 4 u. Try not 2 worry bout it. Have u seen a dr about this? They may b able 2 help u
Emily
X

Since: Jun 12

Ossining, NY

#3 Dec 17, 2012
sarah jones wrote:
hi i need advice im 13 years old and im starting a new school as a boarder in january im looking forward to it but im nervous because im also a bedwetter. How do boarding schools deal with bedwetting? I wear drynites at the moment , im also a bit scared of other girls finding out. I want to make new friends there.
Sarah, It's similar to that with kids going to college who are still bedwetting, or incontinent. The deal is this, it's not likely that you're going to be able to keep it for long from any of the other girls that you share a dorm room with. There are things that you can do to minimize it being an uncomfortable situation. The first is that you or one of your parents need to contact the school to see if there are any other girls that are also bedwetters. This will help because it gives you someone else that really understands the situation. It also helps as that girl or those girls, likely know other girls there. Have you ever heard the term "safety in numbers"? The other things you need to do are:

1 Make sure that you have a plastic mattress cover to protect the mattress.
2 Have protection that is heavy enough to contain everything during the night. The reality is that drynites/goodnites don't really cut it for most kids. They sacrifice capacity for discreetness.
3 Have a good way of disposing of your wet garments in the morning that will seal them, and any wet bedding so that the odors don't permeate the room.

The reality is that it's very likely (like I said) that eventually others will find out. The more you do to make it as comfortable situation for them (containing the odors and dispose of use garments ASAP, etc.) as possible, the sooner any teasing or any other negative stuff will end. Take it in stride and hold your head high. You have a problem that is more common than many people think but it doesn't take away from who you are, no more than being paralyzed, or missing a limb. Much of this is covered in a thread I did a while ago and "bumped" it to the top of the forum. It's called "Thoughts on and dealing with bedwetting". There's a lot there to read on dealing with bedwetting and it's the 1st 5 posts. Who knows, there might be something there that may be able to help you or give you some info that you didn't know about it. The key to getting through all of this is how you feel about yourself. Good luck and I hope you'll give some feedback on what you thought, and how things are going.

“Essex and proud”

Since: Jan 12

Chelmsford

#4 Dec 17, 2012
Good advice slice^. Sry 2 put a down note on it tho and say that telling a load of other 13 yr old girls about something like this could end in disaster. Could go gr8 but its equally likely not 2. I think it's a good idea 2 ask the school if there are any other girls who bedwet in your dorm. Maybe if there are a couple and u all announced it it would go ok. If Sarah was 16 and in this situation I would advise telling the other girls soon after u get 2 kno them. Problem is at 13 a lot of girls r not as mature and tend 2 b a bit less accepting of differences (trust me I was 13 once lol). So that's the way I c it but if Sarah is comfortable telling them then I'd go 4 it
Emily
X

Since: Jun 12

Ossining, NY

#5 Dec 18, 2012
Emily9865 wrote:
Good advice slice^. Sry 2 put a down note on it tho and say that telling a load of other 13 yr old girls about something like this could end in disaster. Could go gr8 but its equally likely not 2. I think it's a good idea 2 ask the school if there are any other girls who bedwet in your dorm. Maybe if there are a couple and u all announced it it would go ok. If Sarah was 16 and in this situation I would advise telling the other girls soon after u get 2 kno them. Problem is at 13 a lot of girls r not as mature and tend 2 b a bit less accepting of differences (trust me I was 13 once lol). So that's the way I c it but if Sarah is comfortable telling them then I'd go 4 it
Emily
X
I wasn't thinking about telling a whole bunch of girls, I was thinking more just of the girl or girls in the same room with her. That's part and parcel of having the parents check with the school to see if there are any other bedwetters that she could bunk with. The idea of telling the others was only something to consider if she has someone (a roomy) as an ally, and had been there a while so that the others got to know her first.

BTW, I tried to bump the other thread I wrote to the top but it didn't work. Sarah, here's the link to that thread: http://www.topix.com/forum/health/bedwetting/...
Katy

Shillingstone, UK

#6 Jan 2, 2013
Hi im Katy and im 15

Sarah I know how you feel, I only wet at night and have to wear protection. I dont go to a boarding school, but usually spend summer away from home.
For example, I get invited to physics/chemistry courses, or I study a language abroad etc.

What I usually do when I go away is try to contain the situation myself. There is a difference here because I am slightly older than you, and when I go away its not for the whole year, more like a few weeks.

So the first chance I get when I am alone I will strip the bed and put down a bed mat (pampers ones are great) and then I will put the sheets back on top. I always pack a spare sheet. Now if the sheets provided are the same as your own, just put a bed mat on top of their sheet and put your sheet on top. no one will notice, and this way if there is a leak you wont stain their sheet and the bed mat will catch it before it can get to their sheet, and if by any chance it leaks, then the 2nd bed mat will prevent the mattress getting wet too.

However if the sheet they provide is different to your own, you have your work cut out for you. Once i went on a french exchange and they gave me a purple sheet and came in every night and morning to greet me... so once they have said good night I got up and put my own sheet and bed mat down, and before they came in the morning, i had to take them off and put them in my suitcase. this seems like a lot to do, but i has effectively worked for me for years. its annoying to do this every day but you dont really have much choice...

in both situations i always take carrier bags - just tescos ones, but not see-through clear ones - so every morning i put the diaper in a bag and put the bag in the bin...

but thats all just me. what i would recommend you do is talk to the school and try and share a room with a fellow bedwetter. if there is no way of doing this, then its up to you to decide who you can trust. this might be making one or 2 really close friends and telling them first before you decide to tell the whole dorm. that way you have others to help you and cover for you because there is bound to be an inconvenient situation... but remember to consider the consequences. you may be a mature 13y.o but not everyone else is. consider how they may react, and hence make sure you only tell those you can really count on.

“Essex and proud”

Since: Jan 12

Chelmsford

#7 Jan 2, 2013
Hi Katy welcome back :) that's gd advice u gave 2 Sarah :) I do something similar when I go on holiday. I use the drynites bedmats incase my tena slip leaks
Emily
X
Hey

Whitley Bay, UK

#8 Jan 3, 2013
I think you'll be able to still wear drynites. I wear them 24/7 for protection :P

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