Former Broncos QB Tim Tebow Training in Arizona for NFL Comeback

Jul 22, 2014 Full story: PredominantlyOrange 43

Jan 6, 2014; Pasadena, CA, USA; Florida Gators former quarterback Tim Tebow on the field before the 2014 BCS National Championship game between the Auburn Tigers and the Florida State Seminoles at the Rose Bowl.

Full Story
Caratard

Miami, FL

#21 Aug 11, 2014
cara murphy wrote:
I was wondering if he can return to the Broncos...
Cara Murphy is the screen name Cypresstard uses when he wants to see if his Jimmy is still working.
Flatulence Fred

United States

#22 Aug 11, 2014
Breaking News: Cow Fart Battery May Solve Energy Crisis

We’re not covering political and environmental issues too often here at procrasti-nation.eu. But some issues just can’t be left unreported. Argentinian cows may help solve the worldwide energy crisis. By farting. A lot. Enter cow fart battery…
Pastor

Cypress, CA

#23 Aug 23, 2014
Pastorbater wrote:
Thanks Rev Rectal Roberts for the sermon....
You can hide in the darkness and behind the Internet but you can never hide from God. He knows your heart and keeps His door open that you might wander by. If Christ can forgive us for all are sinful actions who am I to hold sin against anyone. Wise men still seek Him today.
TheFartingNun

Miami, FL

#24 Aug 25, 2014
Pastor wrote:
<quoted text>
You can hide in the darkness and behind the Internet but you can never hide from God. He knows your heart and keeps His door open that you might wander by. If Christ can forgive us for all are sinful actions who am I to hold sin against anyone. Wise men still seek Him today.
God wants you to consolidate your 8 different annoying personalities into one decent one.
TheFartingNun

Miami, FL

#25 Aug 25, 2014
Tebow reportedly is interested in signing with the Rams. Tebow can fill in for Bradford, and lose his virginity with Michael Sam.
Flatulence Fred

United States

#26 Aug 25, 2014
Does God fart?

Otherwise what would explain the green hue in the sky before severe weather? Don't give me that light refraction bull because that is just government propaganda. If you honestly believe that is the case, do not answer because you are just some whacked out government automaton.

Best AnswerAsker's Choice - spibbles answered

Well, he's supposed to have created man in his image, so I'd imagine that since man farts, God must fart too. It just makes sense.

If that's what's up with the green sky before thunderstorms, his farts must not stink, though. But one time i smelled one and it was heavenly. Best fart ever!

Since: Jul 14

Kansas City, MO

#27 Aug 25, 2014
Caratard wrote:
<quoted text>
Cara Murphy is the screen name Cypresstard uses when he wants to see if his Jimmy is still working.
I don't know why you said that, but I'll tell you I don't know who Cypresstard is and I am just a fan of Broncos, don't leave me in your grievances.
Flatulence Fred

United States

#28 Aug 26, 2014
cara murphy wrote:
<quoted text>
I don't know why you said that, but I'll tell you I don't know who Cypresstard is and I am just a fan of Broncos, don't leave me in your grievances.
THE LOWDOWN ON FLATULENCE

Sirius Radio's Dr. Steve explains why some people are more malodorous than others

Ugh, this question really brings back bad memories for me. When I was a kid, my brother, who is 12 years older than I am, delighted in holding me down and farting in my face. This would have been bad enough, part of growing up with a big brother, if not for the fact that his flatus was (and still is) the most noxious, puke-inducing gas in the history of the universe. I am certain that breathing the atmosphere of Jupiter would be less toxic. I distinctly remember him chasing five grown men out of a cabin on a remote Canadian lake with one of his malodorous expulsions. I was convinced for years that something demonic had crawled up his rectum and died, but when I went to medical school and developed the scientific skills to investigate crap like this, I put my mind to solving this question.

Intestinal gas is a mixture of swallowed air (if you don't belch it up, it'll pass through to the other end) and products of fermentation of bacteria. When sugars and starches that the human body can't digest enter the lower intestines, bacteria break them down. The byproduct of this system is a variety of gasses, including carbon dioxide, methane, and hydrogen sulfide. Methane is flammable and is produced by most (but not all) people (which is why some people can light their farts and some can't). Carbon dioxide is odorless and heavier-than-air. Hydrogen sulfide creates the majority of the fart smell. It is generally described as having a "rotten egg" stench.

Every person has a slightly different collection of bacteria and yeasts in their gut, and each organism contributes a slightly different nuance to the overall fragrance and volume of gas. Just as a fine wine keeps the palate stimulated with a variety of taste "notes," each person's unique batch of intestinal organisms lends shading to the stench of their farts. Your roommate (and my brother, apparently) simply have a collection of organisms that produce a horrid, malodorous, voluminous reek.

Is there anything that can be done for rotten bowel gas? Some people think that probiotic agents (foods and supplements containing "good" bacteria) help establish a less stinky colony in the bowel. I have yet to find a good study in the medical literature that confirms this, but it probably would do no harm. You can start with live cultured yogurt and step up to the more expensive capsules of freeze-dried bacteria if needed.

In 1997, Chester Weimer was granted patent No. 5593398 entitled "Protective underwear with malodorous flatus filter." The undergarment has a pocket on the rear that has a replaceable activated charcoal packet, which the subject farts through. The sound and odor are muffled by passage through the filter. I'd suggest buying a pair for your roommate and see if they work. If they do, you'll be living in a more fart-free environment. If they don't you will have a hilarious story to tell your friends. Either way it's win-win for you.
Zoo Bartending Cara

Miami, FL

#29 Aug 26, 2014
cara murphy wrote:
<quoted text>
I don't know why you said that, but I'll tell you I don't know who Cypresstard is and I am just a fan of Broncos, don't leave me in your grievances.
BS freakshow.
Janitard 101

United States

#30 Aug 26, 2014
cara murphy wrote:
<quoted text>
I I am just a fan of Broncos,
Everyone can see that when you talk about Manning everyday under your other 12 Cypresstard CA names. Acting like you dont like him, but yet spend hours posting about him on various threads after searching and reading countless articles. The debauchery of your Manning boner crush. Even creating this Cara slut profile, lmfao.

The you go around crying the press overhypes Manning but yet you post post about him daily on various threads...bringing him to the forefront...nice plan jackassss
Flatulence Fred

United States

#31 Aug 26, 2014
cara murphy wrote:
<quoted text>
I don't know why you said that, but I'll tell you I don't know who Cypresstard is and I am just a fan of Broncos, don't leave me in your grievances.
Fart Interrupts Snooker World Championship Semifinal



Ronnie O'Sullivan is en route to his fifth snooker world championship title, but his win over Judd Trump in the semifinal was a real stinker.
Janifail

United States

#32 Aug 26, 2014
cara murphy wrote:
<quoted text>
I don't know why you said that, but I'll tell you I don't know who Cypresstard is and I am just a fan of Broncos, don't leave me in your grievances.
I read on another forum where you told yourself (lol) that the pic you are using as your avatar isnt yours. http://www.topix.com/forum/nfl/TAVME5TREUV8MO...

I found your real pic Janitard, so please start using it.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-TbzDijSbvg0/TfuKcKu...
Flatulence Fred

United States

#33 Aug 26, 2014
cara murphy wrote:
<quoted text>
I don't know why you said that, but I'll tell you I don't know who Cypresstard is and I am just a fan of Broncos, don't leave me in your grievances.
Gas / Flatulence

During the menopause and perimenopause transition, complaints of increased gas production and bloating are common.

Although having gas is normal, it can be a source of discomfort and lead to embarrassing situations. Understanding the causes of gas, ways to reduce symptoms and treatments helps most people find relief.

What Are Common Symptoms?
The most common symptoms of gas are flatulence, abdominal bloating and discomfort, and burping. The amount of gas produced by an individual, as well as the certain set of bacteria responsible for breaking down food in the digestive tract differs from person to person.. As a result, individual people experience differing symptoms based upon their situation.

Gas is eliminated by burping or passing it through the rectum. Excess formation of gas in the stomach or intestine is termed flatulence. Most people produce about 1 to 3 pints of gas per day and pass gas about 14 times a day.

Everyone has gas, it's very healthy and common. If you think you have too much, it could be a more serious issue. A Nursing degree from Catholic University of America will help one obtain all the necessary knowledge of what is considered healthy.

The gas found in the rectum is primarily made from carbon dioxide, oxygen, nitrogen, hydrogen, and sometimes methane. The unpleasant odor of gas is derived from normal bacterial byproducts in the large intestine that are responsible for breaking down food substances and contain sulfur.

Learn more about Gas and Flatulence, including treatment options....click here.

Passing gas between 15 and 25 times per day and some amount of abdominal bloating related to digestion is considered normal and nothing to be concerned about medically. If you are bothered by the amount of gas you are producing there are over the counter medications that can help. Excessive gas production , more than 25 times per day, may be a sign of a malabsorption problem that can be detected by your doctor. Excessive bloating or discomfort may be a sign of an intestinal disorder, such as irritable bowel syndrome.

Is gas related to Menopause?
Since approximately one quarter of women have noted increased gas during menopause, some doctor's have suggested that decreasing hormone production may play a role in this process. Other experts have stated that a change in diet around the menopause transition may lead to more gas and bloating. In fact, over 60% of women were eating more fruit and vegetables and over 70% have made changes in their diet during menopause according to a recent survey. Click here for more information.

The information provided by MenopauseRx, Inc. is not intended to replace the medical advice of your doctor or health-care provider. Please consult your health-care provider for advice about a specific medical condition.
John

Blackwood, NJ

#35 Sep 2, 2014
Hey there Pastor, I think you have been getting your Catholic Church information from a biased source, most common for ultra conservative evangelicals. First, every church has a leader, unless you are saying that you and a group of men and women join together without a spirtual leader. A priest is a spirtual leader of his church. Are they flawed, yes, but no less or more than a pastor of a loosely aligned with Baptists evangelical church. The Pope is the leader of the entire Catholic Church, as a Catholic I love the Pope's message, though I find the hierarchy and governance structure a bit rigid. Again though no less rigid than an over devotion to a single person speaking in a pulpit on Sunday morning. The Catholic Church fully believes in the Trinity and in the sacrifice of Jesus for all of us. If you have ever attended a mass or actually taken the time to study the pieces of a mass, it is nearly all based upon new testament teachings. The Gospel reading is the basis of the homily (the Priest message). There are two readings prior to that, most commonly associated with the gospel reading, with the 1st an old testament reading and the 2nd a new testament reading. The Nicene Creed (sp?) makes every parishioner stand and say aloud their belief in God, Christ and the Trinity. When you get to... "Lord Hear Our Prayer" that is about our common belief that God when called upon will help. There are differences the Catholic Church does not believe in the rapture, predominantly because the Bible makes no mention of Christ returning twice (the first time if you are Jewish). Yes I know, Christ does not come in the rapture rather believers go to him, but as with all interpretations of the Bible they are subject to human thought thus variations. In any case, every portion of the mass is based upon the sacrifice of Christ, including the consecration of the host (that dry not very tasty wafer). And personally I enjoy how the mass closes "go in peace to love and serve the Lord and each other" even that speaks to Jesus' teaching to love thy neighbor.
Hank

Katy, TX

#36 Sep 2, 2014
Flatulence Fred wrote:
Filming took place in England, California, and Arizona Return of the Jedi. Obi-Wan "Ben" Kenobi was a wreckless farter on set of Tatooine.
Did not know that. Can you post one on Yoda next?
Bill

Katy, TX

#37 Sep 2, 2014
Flatulence Fred wrote:
<quoted text>
THE LOWDOWN ON FLATULENCE
Sirius Radio's Dr. Steve explains why some people are more malodorous than others
Ugh, this question really brings back bad memories for me. When I was a kid, my brother, who is 12 years older than I am, delighted in holding me down and farting in my face. This would have been bad enough, part of growing up with a big brother, if not for the fact that his flatus was (and still is) the most noxious, puke-inducing gas in the history of the universe. I am certain that breathing the atmosphere of Jupiter would be less toxic. I distinctly remember him chasing five grown men out of a cabin on a remote Canadian lake with one of his malodorous expulsions. I was convinced for years that something demonic had crawled up his rectum and died, but when I went to medical school and developed the scientific skills to investigate crap like this, I put my mind to solving this question.
Intestinal gas is a mixture of swallowed air (if you don't belch it up, it'll pass through to the other end) and products of fermentation of bacteria. When sugars and starches that the human body can't digest enter the lower intestines, bacteria break them down. The byproduct of this system is a variety of gasses, including carbon dioxide, methane, and hydrogen sulfide. Methane is flammable and is produced by most (but not all) people (which is why some people can light their farts and some can't). Carbon dioxide is odorless and heavier-than-air. Hydrogen sulfide creates the majority of the fart smell. It is generally described as having a "rotten egg" stench.
Every person has a slightly different collection of bacteria and yeasts in their gut, and each organism contributes a slightly different nuance to the overall fragrance and volume of gas. Just as a fine wine keeps the palate stimulated with a variety of taste "notes," each person's unique batch of intestinal organisms lends shading to the stench of their farts. Your roommate (and my brother, apparently) simply have a collection of organisms that produce a horrid, malodorous, voluminous reek.
Is there anything that can be done for rotten bowel gas? Some people think that probiotic agents (foods and supplements containing "good" bacteria) help establish a less stinky colony in the bowel. I have yet to find a good study in the medical literature that confirms this, but it probably would do no harm. You can start with live cultured yogurt and step up to the more expensive capsules of freeze-dried bacteria if needed.
In 1997, Chester Weimer was granted patent No. 5593398 entitled "Protective underwear with malodorous flatus filter." The undergarment has a pocket on the rear that has a replaceable activated charcoal packet, which the subject farts through. The sound and odor are muffled by passage through the filter. I'd suggest buying a pair for your roommate and see if they work. If they do, you'll be living in a more fart-free environment. If they don't you will have a hilarious story to tell your friends.

Either way it's win-win for you.
This post is a win-win. Great job.
UBLESST

Englewood, CO

#38 Sep 2, 2014
Tim is Great! People here in Denver seem to forget John Elways rookie days in Denver. He was awful!! My grandmother kept yelling "put Mortin Back in!". Tim brought us to the playoffs his 1st yr as head QT in Denver! Everyone seems to want him burned at the stake. God has given Tim many great gifts! We hope and pray to see Tim continue to fulfill his dreams. One door closes another will open. Keep beating down the doors!!
Tebonics

United States

#39 Sep 3, 2014
Tim has been blessed with great gifts...like being cut from the Jets, being cut from the Patriots...he is that blessed...
Flatulence Fred

United States

#40 Sep 3, 2014
A South Carolina woman was arrested Monday after allegedly hitting a man she said “passed gas” in her face.

Jessica Cerney, 33, told police that 64-year-old Darrell McKnight came home drunk at about 7:45 p.m. and farted on her face while she was lying on the couch, according to documents obtained by The Smoking Gun. Furious about the blast, Cerney left the house, but says McKnight followed her outside.

An argument ensued that allegedly resulted in McKnight approaching her in a “threatening manner,” and Cerney allegedly punching McKnight in the face three times.

McKnight was taken to a hospital for a swollen eye, while Cerney was not injured, according to WBTW.

Both people were charged with disorderly conduct fighting and Intoxication Flatuluence.
Flatulence Fred

United States

#41 Sep 3, 2014
Hank wrote:
<quoted text>
Did not know that. Can you post one on Yoda next?
Yoda liked to fart. In the orginal script from Return of the Jedi, the fog that was on Dagobah was created from Yodas farts. That had to removed from the script to make room for more Wookiee farts.

Below is the deleted scene of Yoda farting on Dagobah:

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