Return engagement for Dolphins, Ravens
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#1 Dec 29, 2008
"Miami fell to 2-4 with the defeat, but has lost only two games since. "
One game. ONE.
#2 Dec 29, 2008
Go Phins Go
#3 Dec 29, 2008
I -- Yasha J. Banana -- am so proud of my boys.... The Miami Dolphins.... The finest bunch of fish ever to have spawned between two gills.
(Ok, so instead of "The Miami Dolphins" they could have been named them "The Miami Gefilte Fish," but now's not the time for regrets.)
I -- Yasha J. Banana, your 96-year-old spokesperson -- will now take it upon myself to speak for all of us here in South Florida....
First of all, on behalf of every South Floridian who passed by Wolfie's and broke wind ... on behalf of every South Floridian who ever drove behind a Canadian snowbird ... on behalf of every Jew and every Gentile who was ever kicked in line at The Rascal House (all together now)-- FARK YOU, NEW YORK JETS!
Fark you, New York Jets, and the J-E-T-S you flew in on.
(God, that felt soooooo good!... I think my heart started up again.)
2.) FARK YOU, BRET FARTE!
Now, schlimiel,*now* are you going to retire?
Or is it going to be another round of
Shut the fark up already, Bret Farte, and go, just go.
Oh, and one more thing, Mistah Feency Schmancy "I-Don't-Have-To-Shave-Ev en-Though-I'm-Going-To-Be-On-T eevee" ... one more thing.... Do you know what I -- Yasha J. Banana -- was doing all season long while you were making a fool of yourself on the football field?... I was schtupping your poopsie in a canoe!
Yes, that's right. I confess!
And at least I -- Yasha J. Banana -- had the decency to shave before I began schtupping.
3.) FARK YOU, MAYOR BLOOMBERG.
Nothing personal, boychick, but since we're farking everything Gotham, fark you too, Your Honor.
4.) FARK YOU, PETER STUYVESANT.
Ok, so big-shot goyische cup: you bought Manhattan Island for $24.... Big deal.... What, you couldn't throw in a couple more bucks for the Catskills?
5.) FARK YOU, WAYNE HUIZENGA.
Do you think that maybe, just maybe there's a relationship between you announcing that you're going to sell 95% of the Dolphins and then suddenly they turn into winners?... Eh?... Now get outta town, you bald-headed loser. And take your swimming pool full of Clearasil with you.
6.) FARK YOU, JOHN BECK.
Fark you, John Beck, because never, never in a million years will a Mormon succeed in Miami. It's just not gonna happen..... That would be like Mother Theresa setting up shop in Sodom, and then branching out to Gomorrah.... Virtue and Miami? Come on, be serious.
We here in South Florida are proud of one thing above everything else -- WE'RE NO GOOD, AND WE CAN PROVE IT!
So thanks anyway, John Beck, but let's face it, we're more comfortable here in South Florida with punks like Joey Porter.
7.) FARK YOU, NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS.
Fark you, New England Patriots, because now -- at last!-- it can be told....
I --Yasha J. Banana -- am responsible for putting Tom Brady out out action for the season.... Yes, it's true!
Hoo boy, what a scoop! Ethan Skolnick, are you listening? Sharpen your pencil because here's the inside story, bubi....
Most people think Tom Brady was injured on the football field. Feeck! Don't believe it. No way. What really happened is that I -- Yasha J. Banana -- beat the living daylights out of Tom Brady before the first game of the season.
Listen, I had to. What choice did he give me? He was making eyes at the missus.
I said: "Mistah Brady, watch your step now, because I do the workouts."
And then bing-bang-boom, the next thing you know, out like a light.
I'll tell you one thing -- that's the last time he messes with a 96-year-old Jew.
... So there you have it South Florida. FARK, FARK, FARK-'EM-ALL!.
(Have I spoken the mind of the many, or what?)
Your welcome in advance, you should live and be well, may all your children marry within their faith,
#4 Dec 29, 2008
we took care of the jets! now the ravens are next in line for a payback! we lost to them early in the season..now it's payback time! go dolphins,you can beat the ravens no doubt..just beleive in yourselfs as you have all season long! go phins...one game out of a time..go battle and leave it all on the feild!
#5 Dec 29, 2008
this team just keeps balling hard and playing smart..they find a will and a way to win.....go phins!this team is capable of winning it all now!
#6 Dec 29, 2008
Bye bye fish. One and done. This is the playoffs, no 2-12 teams left to squeek out a lucky win now.
Saint Petersburg, FL
#7 Dec 29, 2008
It all depends on what Hank Goldberg thinks.
#8 Dec 30, 2008
true, these pathetic fans think beating the jets was a win over a "good" team. a high quality win...laughable just like the jets.
The list of the mighty dolphin victories:
1) Pats (Won week 3 big against a team with a backup qb starting his 2nd game...only to be blown out week 12 by the same QB)
2) Jets (even the lame 5-11 raiders beat favre..enough said)
3) SD (8-8)
4) Bills (7-9) Beat them twice...woopie, even the 4-12 Browns beat them.
5) Denver (LOL - 8-8) A team that even KC beat
6) Seattle (4-12)
7) Oakland (5-11) the other team 2-14 KC beat
8) Rams (2-14)
9) 49ers (7-9)
10) KC (2-14)
just simply sad the fans really think this team is good. like the cowgirls and texass-ans, dolphins will be watching the super bowl on tv.
dolphins a joke
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