Minnesota Vikings: Seven Buckets of Fandom
With the lockout depriving NFL writers of tangible topics, I've decided to turn my attention inward--to the fans.
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#1 May 31, 2011
Somewhere in history, the Drunk migrated west across state lines into Minnesota. For the Drunk, Vikings games are just another excuse to get lit. He pairs a low football I.Q. with a high B.A.C. The Drunk doesn't know the score, the time or the date. He's the guy calling for the backup quarterback after every incompletion, cursing in front of children and endangering lives after games. The Drunk is a mouth-breathing knuckle dragger looking for a fight. Drunks tend to vary regionally--where the Green Bay Drunk is inclined to urinate in Lambeau sinks, the Philadelphia Drunk prefers to throw snowballs and batteries at Santa Claus. In general, the obnoxious Drunk is a drain on society--he's easily the worst kind of fan.
#2 May 31, 2011
The Green Bay Drunk is inclined to defacate in Lambeau sinks,
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