WE discuss if adopting orphans from abroad is a woman's selfles...

Full story: The Sun Online

'I couldn't love my child more' JANE CLARKE, 42, a freelance writer and nutritionist, adopted her daughter Maya from India, in 2004.
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yoso

Porterville, CA

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#1
May 30, 2009
 
Please leave these people with "big" Heart alone. Let them adopt the kids. I belive every adaption is one more chance toward decent life and propper education to the lucky child. So please let's behave good and be apreciative. OK?? Thanks.
Kotebe

Minneapolis, MN

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#2
May 30, 2009
 
How much are they paying to buy these kids? I guess, cheaper ny the dozen. I guess like that of one French couple who have adopted and used their kids sexually might be why the European are flocking in the third world.
sam

Melbourne, Australia

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#3
Aug 4, 2009
 
adopting kids is the greatest gift for women who can't have their own kids. so please allow those want to save life and satisfy their life. thanks
des_pes

United States

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#4
Aug 5, 2009
 
Adopting is a good thing for the parents and for the kids. However its not good for the community where the poor children come from.
In Ethiopia, children are seen as retirement account. Extremely poor families with income to raise no more than one child end up having 12,13- 15 or more kids, and that is after they lose some of the babies to preventable diseases.

When you see what is happening closely, the adopted kids grow up in richer countries and in adulthood come back to their birth place and shower their birth parents and relatives with money and other goodies. Now you be the judge what younger parents in that area will perceive. Have more babies and send them for adaptation by all means.
I am not saying adaptation is a bad thing but adopting from extremely poor areas will have an undesired effect on the community in the long run.
I don't know what the solution is, but there has to be a better way. Although I must admit, those in need in poor communities don't have the luxury I enjoy that enables me write this. Their need is immediate and adaptation will provide and immediate solution to their problem.
getu

Saint Paul, MN

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#5
Aug 6, 2009
 
I have a very ambivalent feeling about the whole idea of adapting a child from a poor nation by the rich people of the west. As it has become the rage, these children have become an accessory like that of their jewelery and their fancy hand bugs to be seen in their suburbia, thus completing the very need of completeness. At the same time, they will be seen as being such giving and humanist in their church and neighbors. Still, like that of a slave of the past, these children are yanked out of their environment and over night their name, religion, which is the very identity of who they are replaced by a name that is chosen by the adaptive parents, which only make sense to them and their neighbors.

One has to meet some of these children how resentful and hateful they are toward their parents. in fact a long time ago, I met two Ethiopia, who have become a run away children at the age 14, who found their way to the International Student center at UofMinn. to find any Ethiopians. Not only they hate their parent, eventually one the kid killed himself, while the other one change his name with an Ethiopian name....Unfortunately, i was a new comer to this country and I did not know the whole meaning of the very word "ADAPTION"

One fact which I cannot understand about these so called good Samaritans is that for sure their are plenty of children in all shade of colours, they could have been gotten from the very country they are from....But then, I guess it seems it is not a cool thing to do to adapt a child locally. It seems to me that it is like that of having a fancy imported car...

Because of these and other experiences that I heard in past and having witnessed, I have some reservation about the whole idea of these people rushing to countries like Ethiopia to pick one.
I do not know if any body have read about two these children adapted from Ethiopia by a French couple, being used as a sex thing till they were rescued.

Perversion being a hallmark of the White people, is there any way of a back ground check? But then, a person who willing to spend $20,000 and more, I guess, they also will cover they tracks
despes

Newark, CA

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#6
Aug 6, 2009
 
Its particularly disturbing that adaption in Ethiopia soared after the Zehara story. Now you tell me, is it about trends or real care.

Anyway, that is not for me to say, adoption brings a world of difference to both parties.

The negative effect in the source community is real though, in the long run. Just know it.
despes

Newark, CA

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#7
Aug 6, 2009
 
yoso wrote:
Please leave these people with "big" Heart alone. Let them adopt the kids. I belive every adaption is one more chance toward decent life and propper education to the lucky child. So please let's behave good and be apreciative. OK?? Thanks.
Why not adapt locally?
getu

Saint Paul, MN

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#8
Aug 6, 2009
 
despes wrote:
<quoted text>
Why not adapt locally?
Why should they. They have to keep with johns and it is a trend and there is no end. Beside, it is a money making machine for the government. Get it when it hot.
despes

Newark, CA

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#9
Aug 7, 2009
 
An older white couple were having dinner with me and friend of mine. They told me their son was to adopt a child from Ethiopia. So I told them my concern as politely as I can. They both took offense. Well, I thought, TezeQzQku.
haile

New York, NY

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#10
Aug 7, 2009
 
getu wrote:
<quoted text>
Why should they. They have to keep with johns and it is a trend and there is no end. Beside, it is a money making machine for the government. Get it when it hot.
Unfortunately, I think you have a point,there.

Since: Jul 09

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#11
Aug 7, 2009
 
Some women can't have children and some children need love, so whats the problem? Race and Culture is learned and whats good for black people is good for white people because everyone needs love.
No one decides what culture they will be brought up in, even when they are born anyway, and race does not limit anybody and their culture. No one is forcing these children what to believe, and if they are, that's their problem not adoptions problem. Sure, America has problems of their own, just like anywhere, but its a better alternative to being dead.
Adopting is not responsible for the things you mentioned, I don't understand your logic.

Since: Jul 09

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#12
Aug 7, 2009
 
despes wrote:
<quoted text>
Why not adapt locally?
are you saying that American children are better than African children? No wonder there is so much unfairness and hatred in the world! How dare people think that their country is the "best in the world", that is so ignorant and prideful. We are ONE world, and if people would realize this there would be no starving children and lonely people, because there is more than enough food and love in this world for everyone!
haile

New York, NY

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#13
Aug 7, 2009
 
RainbowBaby wrote:
<quoted text>
are you saying that American children are better than African children? No wonder there is so much unfairness and hatred in the world! How dare people think that their country is the "best in the world", that is so ignorant and prideful. We are ONE world, and if people would realize this there would be no starving children and lonely people, because there is more than enough food and love in this world for everyone!
Hi. You're very poetic and insightful! My only disagreement, is that what getu was trying to say, is that African children should not be seen as some sort of status symbol.People should not what to adopt because Angelina Jolie or Madonna chose to adopt African children. African children should be adopted as well as American children because both are in need of food and love. People should what to adopt because they want to adopt, not because they saw some famous celebrity that did it.

Since: Jul 09

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#14
Aug 7, 2009
 
haile wrote:
<quoted text>
Hi. You're very poetic and insightful! My only disagreement, is that what getu was trying to say, is that African children should not be seen as some sort of status symbol.People should not what to adopt because Angelina Jolie or Madonna chose to adopt African children. African children should be adopted as well as American children because both are in need of food and love. People should what to adopt because they want to adopt, not because they saw some famous celebrity that did it.
Thank you! I agree no one should be seen as a symbol for status, or just an accessory, parents should be proud of their African adopted children because of WHO they ARE, not because they had the privileged to adopt them.
getu

Saint Paul, MN

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#15
Aug 7, 2009
 

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RainbowBaby wrote:
Some women can't have children and some children need love, so whats the problem? Race and Culture is learned and whats good for black people is good for white people because everyone needs love.
No one decides what culture they will be brought up in, even when they are born anyway, and race does not limit anybody and their culture. No one is forcing these children what to believe, and if they are, that's their problem not adoptions problem. Sure, America has problems of their own, just like anywhere, but its a better alternative to being dead.
Adopting is not responsible for the things you mentioned, I don't understand your logic.
What are talking about when state that " NO ONE IS FORCE IS FORCING THESE CHILDREN WHAT TO BELIEVE, AND IF THEY ARE, THAT'S THEIR PROBLEM NOT ADOPTION PROBLEM."

You must be one retard person to come up with such a lame statement. Now, here is a baby brought up by some pervert, who is sexually abusing the adopted child, are you suggesting the mistake is that of the child? How about a child that was mentally abused by these do gooders, since, ever since he/she was a tiny dependent baby? The only logical reason why these people were going to want to adopt children from out of their own country is nothing else, except to portray themselves as a good semaritian, who went out of their way to save these children from a dire life experience.

Like that of the rage of the past, the faze at that time was the chines, then the Koreans, the south American and now like that of a fashion trend, it is to have like that of an accessory to a dress or a fancy imported car, it is the African children. Give me a break, look around and there are thousands, upon thousands of children in these countries waiting to be adopted. No, it seems that they do not fit the image in the neighborhood.........

Since: Jul 09

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#16
Aug 7, 2009
 
getu wrote:
<quoted text>
What are talking about when state that " NO ONE IS FORCE IS FORCING THESE CHILDREN WHAT TO BELIEVE, AND IF THEY ARE, THAT'S THEIR PROBLEM NOT ADOPTION PROBLEM."
You must be one retard person to come up with such a lame statement. Now, here is a baby brought up by some pervert, who is sexually abusing the adopted child, are you suggesting the mistake is that of the child? How about a child that was mentally abused by these do gooders, since, ever since he/she was a tiny dependent baby? The only logical reason why these people were going to want to adopt children from out of their own country is nothing else, except to portray themselves as a good semaritian, who went out of their way to save these children from a dire life experience.
Like that of the rage of the past, the faze at that time was the chines, then the Koreans, the south American and now like that of a fashion trend, it is to have like that of an accessory to a dress or a fancy imported car, it is the African children. Give me a break, look around and there are thousands, upon thousands of children in these countries waiting to be adopted. No, it seems that they do not fit the image in the neighborhood.........
When I referred to "their" I was referring to the "parents" not the children. Only the worst people assume the worst. This is a mis-communication about adverbs, no need to get violent, it does not prove your point or make you look good. I said if there is something wrong with people who adopt children that is because there is something wrong with them (the PARENTS NOT THE CHILDREN)You can't prevent good people from adopting children just because there are some bad people who adopt children for bad reasons, because that is prejudice. Some people adopt because they really love children and if you think otherwise you just don't believe in the goodwill of people and that's your problem.
des_pes

United States

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#17
Aug 7, 2009
 
RainbowBaby wrote:
<quoted text>
are you saying that American children are better than African children? No wonder there is so much unfairness and hatred in the world! How dare people think that their country is the "best in the world", that is so ignorant and prideful. We are ONE world, and if people would realize this there would be no starving children and lonely people, because there is more than enough food and love in this world for everyone!
I just don't see the reason why you cross oceans adopt from a foreign land when there are children in need where you are. Can you explain to me why that is?
Also, why, all of a sudden the jump in adaptation in Ethiopia after the movie star did it. Is it a coincidence?
Just let me know, no need to be emotional about it.
What about the long run effect I wrote about earlier?
getu

Saint Paul, MN

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#18
Aug 7, 2009
 

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des_pes wrote:
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I just don't see the reason why you cross oceans adopt from a foreign land when there are children in need where you are. Can you explain to me why that is?
Also, why, all of a sudden the jump in adaptation in Ethiopia after the movie star did it. Is it a coincidence?
Just let me know, no need to be emotional about it.
What about the long run effect I wrote about earlier?
You know, that is what always amaze me about white people. Their idiosyncrasy usually amaze me. They seems to go with flow of the rage of the time. There was a time in the early 70s, when some of these people used to say they have native American blood in them or they say, they are not prejudice, since they have black friends. Now the new rage of accessory is the rage to find a black foreigner Alla Joline or Madonna to show and to be seen dragging these little black children in any conceivable public place to show how nice, loving and caring they are by plucking these children from the mouth of eminent death, while here where they are living at have plenty children who are just waiting the opportunity of being adapted. One fact is that, what they have is the power to re-brand them reflecting themselves, regardless of their heritage like that of the past slavery time, which is by it a tragedy. What it is the immediate gratification of which can be gotten being that exceptional samaritan.
getu

Saint Paul, MN

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#19
Aug 7, 2009
 
RainbowBaby wrote:
Some women can't have children and some children need love, so whats the problem? Race and Culture is learned and whats good for black people is good for white people because everyone needs love.
No one decides what culture they will be brought up in, even when they are born anyway, and race does not limit anybody and their culture. No one is forcing these children what to believe, and if they are, that's their problem not adoptions problem. Sure, America has problems of their own, just like anywhere, but its a better alternative to being dead.
Adopting is not responsible for the things you mentioned, I don't understand your logic.
Did you say logic........I am not surprised with your rationalsing to justify the end.......... Then if you understand and there is such a desire, why do they have to go to buy children, while there are so many of them here? Have you ever asked that question, before you try to portray yourself as such a humanist.

Since: Jul 09

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#20
Aug 7, 2009
 
If you would rather Africans die than be adopted by Americans, because you are so scared that Americans just want to look good, who are you really watching out for? You could say that about Mother Teresa? And why are you labeling all white people together like that, it sounds racist. Not ALL white people go with "the flow".

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