Ancient Britons 'loved dairy food'

Ancient Britons 'loved dairy food'

There are 15 comments on the Times-series.co.uk story from Feb 12, 2014, titled Ancient Britons 'loved dairy food'. In it, Times-series.co.uk reports that:

Britons embraced a "convenience food" lifestyle around 6,000 years ago when they replaced hunting and fishing with dairy farming, scientists say.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at Times-series.co.uk.

Phil Scortsch

Old Lyme, CT

#1 Feb 12, 2014
Here's the deal on this: The Ancient Britons had a severe lactose intolerance. Severe. And so, because they gave up seafood and thereby abandoned the source of their brain food (Omega 3s etc.), they became increasingly dull witted. They were unable to make the connection between their terrible indigestion, the diarrhea, the bloating, the frequent methane-laced flatus which turned their cave-homes into huge blowtorches with so often tragic results, the chronic acne, their taste in clothes, cars, tea cozies, wallpaper and so on -- make the connection between all that and their new all milk all the time diet. When you think about it even casually it's frankly disgusting. Shit everywhere, basically. Like Latin America. Or India. Or Detroit. It's a goddam mystery they survived at all. Or wanted to. Too bad all the fish are so laden with mercury now you can drop them on the floor and they break into all these little pieces but then you nudge them together and they coalesce back into a whole fish again. It's pretty cool, but it makes you twitch and cry out involuntarily if you eat that fish. Your hair falls out and horrible pains run thru your body like rusty sabers. You go blind and fall into an ugly hallucinatory state where Richard Simmons performs the "Gobbling Fishes" act from the Kama Sutra on your genitals and shrieks at you about his mother. Then you die in long paroxysms of great agony. All this because the stupid Brits gave up fish for milk. Thanks alot. That's all I have to say. That and God Bless America. Sheesh.
plan ahead then

Toronto, Canada

#2 Feb 13, 2014
Madeline B Plethora

Old Lyme, CT

#3 Feb 13, 2014
Love you judging emoticons! Incendiary/Racy/Mean! What sort of 0-60 in 3 seconds moron reads the above drivel and dubs it anything but idiotic? And maybe this judger should look up the word "racy." And maybe that same lumpen eejit could explain exactly why the post is "incendiary" and "mean." Look, bozo, that post is just a big silly poem sorta-thing written by a huge, happy, huggable grizzly bear of a man who has nothing but smiles and love for the whole world. Except for a certain local sodomite radio announcer who is spreading a rumor that I took him against his will and abused him rectally. Yeah. Except for him. OK?.
mail order Ting Tong

UK

#4 Feb 13, 2014
please, will you Yankee doodles stop arguing all over our forum?
walk the line

Pickering, Canada

#5 Feb 13, 2014
That's why so many Brits have such bad teeth. Jay Leno used to joke about that. Too bad he's gone.
Faloola Chong

Ryde, UK

#6 Feb 13, 2014
The american sense of 'humor' really fail to make the translate across great ocean
Hal Distoff

Old Lyme, CT

#7 Feb 14, 2014
Mr.(or Mrs., as the case may be) Chong, I submit that this so-called failure of an American sense of "'humor'" to "translate across great ocean (sic)" to, presumably, the once proud, now humbled capital of the empire's silver-plating and cutlery industry, is a function of that all milk/all the time diet enjoyed for so many millennia by your forebears (to their detriment).
I rest my case.
Oh, one further point: While we are on the subject of failure to translate (or, more accurately, success in cluttering the airwaves with boring, annoying, one-trick "humor"), I have two words you might ruminate on, Benny Hill. TTFN
SpaceBlues

United States

#8 Feb 14, 2014
Stop it, people. They were not called Britons or Britishers. They were immigrants with expertise in animal domestication, etc. unlike the barbaric vikings who came the isles later on.
SpaceBlues

United States

#9 Feb 14, 2014
to
R U Serious

United States

#10 Feb 14, 2014
Phil Scortsch wrote:
Here's the deal on this: The Ancient Britons had a severe lactose intolerance. Severe. And so, because they gave up seafood and thereby abandoned the source of their brain food (Omega 3s etc.), they became increasingly dull witted. They were unable to make the connection between their terrible indigestion, the diarrhea, the bloating, the frequent methane-laced flatus which turned their cave-homes into huge blowtorches with so often tragic results, the chronic acne, their taste in clothes, cars, tea cozies, wallpaper and so on -- make the connection between all that and their new all milk all the time diet. When you think about it even casually it's frankly disgusting. Shit everywhere, basically. Like Latin America. Or India. Or Detroit. It's a goddam mystery they survived at all. Or wanted to. Too bad all the fish are so laden with mercury now you can drop them on the floor and they break into all these little pieces but then you nudge them together and they coalesce back into a whole fish again. It's pretty cool, but it makes you twitch and cry out involuntarily if you eat that fish. Your hair falls out and horrible pains run thru your body like rusty sabers. You go blind and fall into an ugly hallucinatory state where Richard Simmons performs the "Gobbling Fishes" act from the Kama Sutra on your genitals and shrieks at you about his mother. Then you die in long paroxysms of great agony. All this because the stupid Brits gave up fish for milk. Thanks alot. That's all I have to say. That and God Bless America. Sheesh.
From what you are stating, it makes me wonder that they were able to rule a large portion of the World from their tiny island nation, and in the 20th century they were able to defeat the Nazis while subsisting on what you call a crappy diet.
R U Serious

United States

#11 Feb 14, 2014
walk the line wrote:
That's why so many Brits have such bad teeth. Jay Leno used to joke about that. Too bad he's gone.
Take off you hoser! I'm just kidding.Every time I think of Canada I think the McKenzie Brothers. Any country where hockey matches break out during fights is okay with me- Canada Rules!
R U Serious

United States

#12 Feb 14, 2014
Faloola Chong wrote:
The american sense of 'humor' really fail to make the translate across great ocean
I will see your Ricky Gervais and raise you a Chevy Chase. Uh, wait a minute that won't work. Let me try again. I will see your Benny Hill and raise you a Rodney Dangerfield.
R U A Loser Or What

Old Lyme, CT

#13 Feb 14, 2014
R U Serious wrote:
<quoted text>
Take off you hoser! I'm just kidding.Every time I think of Canada I think the McKenzie Brothers. Any country where hockey matches break out during fights is okay with me- Canada Rules!
You are a live one, butthole.
R U A Loser Or What

Old Lyme, CT

#15 Feb 14, 2014
Oh yeah, and before you have that glass of milk and that Oreo, let me add further that you are frighteningly average.
Hank the Yank

Fort Lee, NJ

#16 Feb 15, 2014
mail order Ting Tong wrote:
please, will you Yankee doodles stop arguing all over our forum?
Sorry mate, Topix is a California-based site. You are on our turf.

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