A New Spin on Mapping U.S. Tornado Touchdowns
#1 Jun 10, 2014
This story really resonates with me because I was in a tornado once and it scared the bejesus out of me. I was going at it hot and heavy with this woman who worked at Safeway when all of a sudden the weather alarm went off. I though nothing off it at first because women often say that the earth moves and they hear church bells when I am humping them. My lovemaking is quite boisterous, to say the least. When we finally figured out what was really happening, I pulled up my pants and called my priest to confess my indiscretion. I asked if if I could at least finish before he absolved me but he said no and left with me a serious case of blue balls! So these tornadoes are not to be taken lightly as it caused me great pain.
I also liked this story because I was at a Waffle House once and I farted up a storm. The food was greasy, the eggs were runny and the home fries were disgusting. I ate it anyway since I had already paid for it, but it really wreaked havoc on my bowls. It produced the most smelly, runny, offensive diarrhea I have ever seen or heard about it.
I hope everyone reads this story and my comments so you can learn something about these important matters.
#2 Jun 10, 2014
What about global warming or does God just like punishing racist middle america.
#3 Jun 11, 2014
Global warming is a proven, scientific fact that everyone must accept before it's too late. There's an old adage that you can't muck about with Mother Nature of she will leave you butt up with a flower in it.
#7 Jun 11, 2014
I have to tell the members of this forum that I am officially a fudge packer now.
I never thought it would be said about me, but now it can be. You see, my wife has suffered on and off for 47 years from constipation. Some weeks she craps like a champ and other weeks it takes her hours just to squeeze out one tiny log. Recently she has been unable to move her bowels for days, so she sought out a home remedy on the Internet. Apparently she went to a site called “Big Sausage pizza” and they had a movie which was similar to her situation. A woman caller ordered a pizza and it was delivered by a well hung hunk who wanted to give her a giant sausage in his pants. She told the man that she was backed up and he said that a delivery from his hard sausage in her rear would loosen things up. So my wife approached me with this idea and I agreed. We went into the bathroom and I stroked my own sausage until it was rock hard and ready to cut glass. I lubed my pecker up and began to drill my wife in the butt. After a few strokes, she started screaming that her butt was loosened up so I withdrew my dong and moved out of the way so she could sit down on the pot. She proceeded to let loose with the most foul, obnoxious stream of logs, gas and runs for the next hour. Worst of all, I was left without busting a nut so now I need a home remedy for blue balls.
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