I think my 16 year old daughter is getting fat on purpose.

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Concerned Mom

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#1
Feb 6, 2010
 

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My daughter has been rapidly gaining weight over the past couple of months. She has always been thin and this has come from out of nowhere. I took her in for a doctor's appointment earlier this week, and the doctor and myself were shocked to see that she had gained over 60lbs since her last visit right after thanksgiving. When I was doing a cleanup on her computer the other day, I decided to view the history. It seems she has been frequently visiting some websites that have to do with weightgain and bigger women. I was outside in the yard earlier this evening and I decided to be nosey and peek in her window. She had junk food spread out all over her bed and she was stuffing food in her mouth just as fast as she could. I watched her eat two entire boxes of Little Debbie snack cakes in less than five minutes. I have not confronted her about this yet. Does anyone have any advice they can offer?
Adrian Zulger

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#2
Feb 7, 2010
 

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Your daughter is not alone there are many girls like her and my philosophy is that if she wants to do it its her life (as long as its not to dangerous)let her do it most girls are trying to get skinnier and she wants to get fatter and that makes her unique compared to other people. i say support her on this and help her. i know its taboo and is kinda weird but its something she likes and why take it away from her. i hoped i helped. and if your worried about her getting a man there are many men that love big women (me being one). just let her do it and she'll thank you 2 cause your letting her do what she loves.
thetopsecret

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#3
Feb 24, 2010
 

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Not abnormal but try to keep her health in check as gaining too much too fast can cause health problems and irreversable side effects such as strech marks and if this is simply a phase then I'm sure she won't be too happy with those later on. So long as she gets frequent check ups then I suggest you let her continue. She will find out for herself if this is really what she wants
Daniel

Apopka, FL

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#4
Mar 5, 2010
 

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Hey all I got to say is that I am an admirer of women that gain weight on purpose, your daughter is one of many, your opinion on her life at this stage weighs heavily upon her thoughts and outcomes, I suggest you allow her to experiment within her own boundaries and use common sense when deciding what is too far. if you would like to contact me, I have been into this sorta thing for about a decade I can answer pretty much any question having to do with what and why she is doing it, and I can also give advice to her, maybe she is doing this because of an outside influence who knows, but just remember to encourage independence and not dependence upon an outside influence
smeagol

Oak Forest, IL

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#5
Mar 15, 2010
 

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*fap*
kara

London, UK

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#6
Mar 27, 2010
 
hiya x i think you should let her get up to 200lbs and then tell her to stop she will listen to you i promes xxxx my e-mile is karal-x@hotmail.com tell me how it gos please x

Since: Apr 10

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#7
Apr 19, 2010
 

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Treat this as an extremely sensitive issue! That's the most important advice I can give. Your daughter sounds like me around 16, even down to the Little Debbie snacks. At this point, I'm certain she's already experiencing a great deal of discomfort and guilt, not over gaining, but over her desire to be big. What you've stumbled upon is akin to a parent discovering a child is gay, and from my experience even harder to reconcile because so taboo (Coming to terms with my bisexuality was actually much easier than being comfortable with wanting to gain, something I'm still not exactly open about).

Honestly I think it's best you don't confront your daughter about this, although the situation is complicated by how much she's already gained (60 pounds is indeed a lot for a three month period, but also very brave on her part) because health is certainly an issue. Still, if the topic is broached, think about how uncomfortable every family meal would become. I can see it leading to an increased level of guilt and difficulty accepting herself. It might create a situation wherein she starves herself in public but binges secretly, leading to a cycle of self-loathing.

Treat her just the way you used to, be normal. Love her like you always have, and compliment her like you would regardless. If she's looking pretty one day, tell her. Make her feel comfortable. This is what I would want from my parents. I know you want your daughter to be healthy , but her desire, no matter how much you or she might try to suppress it, will always exist as part of who she is. It's inevitable, too - if not now, then probably in a few years when she's on her own, in college or wheveever she goes.

That's my opinion, at least. I hope you find something valuable in it. How have you handled it since posting? Have you confronted her?
BRITTANY

Garland, TX

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#8
Apr 27, 2010
 

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is a 16 year old who weighs 150 pounds considered obese and possibly diabetic?
Hawk

Jamestown, NY

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#9
May 2, 2010
 

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I am a teen who is just like her. I weigh 127 pounds and my goal is to be immobile. Please don't make her stop. If she does he will be unhappy. I can't be fat because of my parents and it is not good. It's like hiding homosexuality when you want to be fat. you should tell her that you know and continue to let her eat large amounts of food and continue to gain weight. Let her get to however big she wants to get, even if it's 1000 pounds so she can be happy. It may seem strange to you but if you felt the way she feels about fat, you would understand how normal it really is
Mumfy

Braintree, MA

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#10
Aug 20, 2010
 

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What is wrong with you people? Let her gain as much weight as she wants? What a bunch of freaks.

My dear, you need to take fatty to a good psychiatrist to get help for her sickness. Then, put her on a treadmill for several hours a day. And not one more morsel of food until she's thin again.
Concerned Mom

United States

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#11
Sep 27, 2010
 

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Thanks for all the comments and advice. I know it has been quite some time, but I just thought I would give everyone an update. Shortly after posting on here, I confronted my daughter about what she was doing. She confided in me and told me that her boyfriend wanted her to gain weight. She begged me not to make her stop, and she told me she was happier than she had ever been. I told her I didn't think it was a good idea, but I was her life and I was going to let her do what she wanted to do. She weighed 127lbs when she went to the doctor's office around Thanksgiving time last year. As of this past weekend, she weighed in at 332lbs, having gained over 200lbs in a little under a year! She is still with the same boyfriend, and still actively trying to gain weight. I am very concerned with the fact that she has gained so much weigh and that she still wants to gain more. She has been so happy since she met him and started doing this, so I just don't know what to do. If she continues gaining like she is, she will weigh over 500lbs by this time next year!! What should I do?
Bari

Boynton Beach, FL

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#12
Jan 1, 2011
 

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Adrian Zulger wrote:
Your daughter is not alone there are many girls like her and my philosophy is that if she wants to do it its her life (as long as its not to dangerous)let her do it most girls are trying to get skinnier and she wants to get fatter and that makes her unique compared to other people. i say support her on this and help her. i know its taboo and is kinda weird but its something she likes and why take it away from her. i hoped i helped. and if your worried about her getting a man there are many men that love big women (me being one). just let her do it and she'll thank you 2 cause your letting her do what she loves.
I'm sorry, but that is horrible advice. Letting her do what she "loves"??? Her daughter is going through something and using food to comfort herself and having binge episodes. When you love someone, you don't just let them alone to do what you know is destroying them. This is just horrendous advice. You say to support her on this and help her"...I have never heard anyone tell a parent to support her daughter wanting to get fat. Clearly her daughter's behavior is a red flag and as a responsible parent, you need to help her have HEALTHY behaviors, not behaviors that are unhealthy, even if you think they may make her "happy", which I DOUBT it does!!
Bari

Boynton Beach, FL

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#13
Jan 1, 2011
 

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Hawk wrote:
I am a teen who is just like her. I weigh 127 pounds and my goal is to be immobile. Please don't make her stop. If she does he will be unhappy. I can't be fat because of my parents and it is not good. It's like hiding homosexuality when you want to be fat. you should tell her that you know and continue to let her eat large amounts of food and continue to gain weight. Let her get to however big she wants to get, even if it's 1000 pounds so she can be happy. It may seem strange to you but if you felt the way she feels about fat, you would understand how normal it really is
I have never seen such inappropriate responses to a mother's question. If this truly is how you feel, then I really hope that you get help. This is not normal.
Bari

Boynton Beach, FL

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#14
Jan 1, 2011
 

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Concerned Mom wrote:
Thanks for all the comments and advice. I know it has been quite some time, but I just thought I would give everyone an update. Shortly after posting on here, I confronted my daughter about what she was doing. She confided in me and told me that her boyfriend wanted her to gain weight. She begged me not to make her stop, and she told me she was happier than she had ever been. I told her I didn't think it was a good idea, but I was her life and I was going to let her do what she wanted to do. She weighed 127lbs when she went to the doctor's office around Thanksgiving time last year. As of this past weekend, she weighed in at 332lbs, having gained over 200lbs in a little under a year! She is still with the same boyfriend, and still actively trying to gain weight. I am very concerned with the fact that she has gained so much weigh and that she still wants to gain more. She has been so happy since she met him and started doing this, so I just don't know what to do. If she continues gaining like she is, she will weigh over 500lbs by this time next year!! What should I do?
This is so sad and I feel for you. I don't understand the dynamics of that relationship and it doesn't seem healthy at all for someone to encourage unhealthy behavior. I would possibly approach her with the question...When you love someone, truly love someone, do you want them to be healthy so they can live a long healthy life or do you want them to do things you know will hurt them? I don't know her emotional maturity level at this age but if you think it might help her to see that when you love someone you want to protect them from harm, not put them in harm's way, then I would try that approach. Sounds like maybe going to a therapist to talk about it would be helpful. good luck
Adrian Zulger

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#15
Jan 1, 2011
 

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Bari I think you'd be surprised how many women and men for that matter do things like this. there are entire websites devoted to this topic. you may think it's taboo but me and many other people do not think it is. I understand there are health risks. but honestly i'd rather do what I like to do even if it does shorten my life.
Janice

New York, NY

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#16
Jan 31, 2011
 

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Hi, sorry you're concerned about your daughter. I went through the same thing but when I was older than her, 16 is pretty young to be deliberately gaining weight but there isn't a whole lot you can do except talk to her about it and let her know you care, and leave it at that.

If you've never eaten deliberately to gain weight and watched your body grow fat and fatter, it's hard to describe. It's an incredible taboo turn on, especially if you're with a guy who likes fat. It's wild to see a man get crazy with desire in less than ten seconds when he sees you can no longer close a pair of jeans or a bra doesn't fit or you are just noticeably chubbier.

I was 133 lbs in 2006 and am now close to 300 at 5'3 inches...some day, maybe, I'll lose weight, like when I'm closer to 40 and health problems begin to show up, but for now it is the hottest thing I've ever done.

Good luck...
Lacey

Birmingham, AL

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#17
Feb 6, 2011
 

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It is unhealthy to gain that much weight. This is beyond an emotional issue. This is a medical problem that WILL have terrible side affects. It is no different than anorexia it is an eating disorder you need to take her to a professional for help. If her boyfriend wanted her to lose an unhealthy amount of weight would you allow it? If he wanted her to take drugs would you let her? She deserves to be loved for who she is inside! True love would care more about her physical and mental well being than her physical appearance and it is okay for you to be her mother instead of her friend when she is this confused about herself. I wish you both the very best luck.
Lacey

Birmingham, AL

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#18
Feb 6, 2011
 

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I just had to add that no matter how many adults are into this sort of thing for whatever reason she's only 16 and that makes her your little girl for 2 more years, her health is your responsibility right now. There are many grown men and women who smoke cigarettes, abuse drugs, and participate in other self destructive behaviors but I know you wouldn't let your baby do these things. She is not old enough to appreciate the consequences of her actions right now, she is only concerned with the positive attention she is receiving from her boyfriend and is too young to realize how much of a sacrifice she is making for someone that statistically she will not be spending her adult life with.
Julio

Saint John, Canada

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#19
May 1, 2011
 

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This is not a real concerned mother, rhis is just a weirdo who gets off on these things
rain

Marshfield, MA

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#20
May 9, 2011
 
yes!

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