Posted in the Teenagers Forum
We are some people who want to help teens ..Because we have been teens ourselves ...this is from a friend of mine
Because of a lack of education on how to use them, plain and simple.
Did you know that taking certain herbal remidies can affect BC? Antibiotics can render it useless? Alchohol can do the same?
Did you know that certain lubricants can affect condoms? Or that older condoms can be less than useless?
Did you know that there are girls and women out there that think they only have to take a few BC pills to prevent pregnancy? That douching after sex will prevent pregnancy? That douching with BLEACH will prevent it?
Did you know that there are boys and men that think a baggie or saran wrap will substitue for a condom?
Did you know that getting tubes tied or vascectomy STILL carries a small risk of pregnancy?
Did you know that IDIOTS spread the MYTH that if you DONT have sex during ONLY the fertile time of the month, you can't get pregnant, when in FACT, sperm can live up to 14 days?
And this doesn't take into account all the dozens of other myths like "pulling out" works, or "you cant get pregnant the first time".
it works for women and men that use it ONE HUNDRED PERCENT correctly, and even THEN stuff happens .
Theses are a bit of help ..But another friend has posted somethin g of much more use.
I myself suffered a teen pregnancy ..I gave my son for adoption it was,not easy .
Back then there were no methods of BC or sexed available .
Anyway we are hoping to help ..
HERE ARE SOME REAlly GOOD FACTS FROM MY FRIEND OCEAN ..
best advice I have seen .on how NOT TO GET PREGNANT OR GET STDS
Since: Jun 13
Don't worry the above link is not on abortion ..just in that category .it was made ...there is helpful advice from some cool ladies ..who don't want to see any of you constrict your future!!!
Since: Jun 13
This is the first part on that other site..We on it are both Pro life like me and some are Pro Choice.
We know all the pitfalls and want yo help others avoid them.
You can read the rest
A CHOICE OF TWO LIFESTYLES
The girl who wisely decides to avoid the trap of pregnancy and motherhood by staying sex-FREE (meaning free FROM sex) in high school benefits by keeping her freedom to be a normal teenager. She is free to devote as much time as she needs to complete her homework assignments, study for
important tests and exams, and participate in any school activities she wants. She is also free to learn new hobbies and skills, such as jewelry-making, beginning carpentry, or any other form of product development, that build her confidence and self-esteem and help her plan for her future.
When she is 16, she can, if she wants, take a summer job that will help build her product development skill to a more advanced level. Such a job will help prevent her becoming bored by having too much free time, and she can still enjoy fun times with her friends wherever she chooses. After graduating from high school, assuming she has passed all her required classes through her senior year, she can go on to attend the college, vocational school, or job training program of her choice, with no restrictions on her time or freedom.
The girl who unwisely decides to have sex in high school risks the very real possibility of losing all her freedom to become a teen mom. Girls who end up pregnant and then teen mothers have a much harder life than girls who don’t have a baby. As the MTV documentary “16 and Pregnant” clearly shows, pregnant girls have to begin making adult decisions long before they were ready. They have to decide whether or not to stay in school while being a mom or dropping out of school and getting their GED. They have to worry about getting a job to buy things for the baby, before the baby is born.
After the baby is born, a teen mom is most likely to be financially dependent on her parents for
everything, for quite a long time, which means she will not be able to afford a place of her own either. If her parents have to work, they will not be able to watch her baby, which means she will not be able to get a job, even if she is of legal age to work. A teen mom will often be low on money, unless she has wealthy parents who are willing to financially support both her and her baby. Her options for both education and employment are very limited, at least for the next three to five years.
Girls can keep Lifestyle 1 very easily, simply by saying a very decisive no to any guy, boyfriend or not, who pressures them to have sex. By dumping any guy who pressures her for sex, a girl avoids the burdens of both unwanted pregnancy and STDs, and she keeps her freedom to be a happy, carefree teenager, at least while she’s still in high school.
HELPING GIRLS SAY "NO" TO SEX
IMO one of the most effective ways to prevent more cases of unwanted teen pregnancy is to help teen girls know what to say. Some girls may not be very sure about what to say to boyfriends who pressure them to have sex. They may be afraid a boyfriend would break up with them if they say no. What these girls need to know is that a boyfriend who pressures a girl to have sex with him can just as easily break up with her anyway, right after she tells him she's pregnant.
Also, NO birth control method is 100% guaranteed against unwanted pregnancy, including BC pills or condoms. Although birth control must always be used to reduce the pregnancy risk as much as
possible, it does NOT eliminate the risk entirely. It is a serious mistake for a teen girl to believe she can never get pregnant because she's on birth control. She CAN.
The following is a brief script that might help more teen girls say NO to having sex:
GUY: I think it's time for us to have sex.
GIRL: I don't think so.
GUY: Why not?
GIRL: I don't want to get pregnant, that's why not. I don't want to get an STD either.
GUY: You worry too much. I can use a condom.
GIRL: Condoms can break. I could still get pregnant if that happens.
GUY: Okay, so you can get on birth control pills or something.
GIRL: Birth control pills can fail sometimes, so I could still get pregnant. So forget it. I want to finish high school, get my diploma, go to college and then have a career. No way am I going to risk getting pregnant and get stuck being a teen mom. That would wreck everything for me.
GUY: Well if you won't have sex with me, I'll have to look for someone else.
GIRL: Fine. You can get another girl pregnant, not me. If that happens, have fun being a teen dad. I'll be celebrating my freedom and watching you give up yours. And we're DONE. Good bye and good luck.
Then the girl walks away, free and NOT PREGNANT.
A guy who pressures a girl for sex isn't worth keeping as a boyfriend. A girl is NOT a loser if she doesn't have a guy in her life while still in high school.
SERIOUS QUESTIONS FOR GIRLS TO ASK THEMSELVES
BEFORE HAVING SEX FOR THE FIRST TIME
1. Is having sex worth the possibility of losing all my freedom?
2. Do I want to be stuck with a baby before I have graduated high school?
3. Do I want to be a wife and mother before I am 18?
4. Do I want to give up my dreams of going to college and having a great career?
5. Do I want to settle for minimum-wage jobs because I can’t get anything else?
If the answer to each of these five questions is no, then saying NO to having sex should be a no-brainer.
ADVANTAGES OF BEING SEX-FREE
Many teens do not realize that being sexFREE (meaning free FROM sex) is a winning advantage. This is why I think it’s important to give teens a list of the freedoms that being sexFREE provides. The top ten winning advantages of being SF (sexFREE) are:
- Freedom from unwanted teen pregnancy and teen motherhood.
- Freedom from incurable STDs like Herpes and fatal STDs like AIDS.
- Freedom to concentrate on school work and participate in school activities.
- Freedom to get all homework assignments and studying done and maintain or improve grades.
- Freedom to participate in learning programs for future jobs and careers.
- Freedom to graduate with classmates and receive a high school diploma.
- Freedom to move on to college or vocational school with no restrictions.
- Freedom to complete a college or vocational program with a degree or certificate.
- Freedom to look for and accept good jobs with higher salaries.
- Freedom to get valuable job experience in a chosen career and take courses to learn more job skills.
Getting pregnant and becoming a teen mother will, most likely, take away most of these freedoms, if not all of them. A teen mom has to put the care of her baby first, which means putting her education second. If she has to study for an important test and the baby is sick, the studying may not get done because she has to care for the baby. That may result in her doing poorly on the exam instead of doing well. If a teen mom wants to attend her junior or senior prom but has no one to watch the baby for her, she can’t go to the dance and has to stay home. If a teen mom is going to college, she may fail one or more classes because caring for her baby or child took priority over completing all her course requirements. A teen mom may even have to drop out of high school or college because she could not take care of her baby and do all her school work at the same time.
(Continued on next post)
ADVANTAGES OF BEING SEX-FREE (continued)
By contrast, a teen girl who realizes that being sexFREE (or SF for short) in high school and college is a clear winning advantage will avoid sex with partners during those years. She will keep her freedom to enjoy all the advantages that the SF choice offers. She is free to concentrate in school, get all her class and homework assignments done, attend any dances she wishes, and take part in school activities like working on the school newspaper or yearbook. Best of all, she will graduate with her class and go on to college or vocational school afterward. If she avoids sexual activity with partners during her college or vocational school years, she will continue to enjoy the advantages indefinitely. She may even decide at some point that she prefers the career world over marriage and children, which is a perfectly valid choice. Not all women wish to be wives and mothers.
It is my firm belief that there is nothing good about getting pregnant as a teenager. Teen pregnancy and teen motherhood can impair or even destroy a girl’s ability to get a good education, which is the foundation for good employment. If a girl cannot get a good job because she doesn’t have a high school diploma, poverty may become inevitable. Sadly, many teen girls don’t know how very hard teen motherhood is until it is too late. They don’t know because no one ever told them, either at home or at school. It is about time that changed.
The “just say no” approach to abstinence-only sex education programs is miserably inadequate
because it doesn’t explain WHY teens, especially girls, should "just say no" to sex. The previous list of winning advantages is a good informational tool to start off with. When a large majority of teens have this information, they may soon begin to realize that enjoying the advantages of the sex-FREE choice is a much better option for them than being trapped by the burdens of teen motherhood.
Since: Jun 13
Helpful Rules For Teens In PREVENTING Pregnancy and STD's
1. NEVER consent to sex if you know you aren't on birth control and a guy tells you he doesn't
have or use condoms (make sure you ask him about condoms BEFORE having sex).
2. ALWAYS use protection, whether it is condoms, the pill, or both, any and EVERY time you decide to have sex. Not using protection even ONE time will result in an unwanted pregnancy sooner or later.
3. ALWAYS be aware that all contraceptive methods can fail and that pregnancy CAN result.
4. NEVER assume you can't get pregnant because you're on birth control, even the pill.
5. NEVER let yourself be pressured into having sex if you really don't want to do it.
6. NEVER believe a guy who says "trust me, you can't get pregnant." Don't have sex with this guy either.
7. NEVER be afraid to dump a boyfriend or girlfriend if he or she pressures you to do things you don't want to do.
8. NEVER assume that having alternative methods of sex cannot cause pregnancy or a sexually
transmitted disease. It’s possible they can do both.
9. ALWAYS ask exactly what a guy means when he says "I'm old fashioned." It could mean he
believes that girls are ONLY meant to be wives and mothers and nothing else. Don't have sex with this guy, as it could be a trap to GET you pregnant.
10. ALWAYS keep busy with studies and school or extracurricular activities that you really like and don't want to GIVE UP.
11. NEVER have sex with a total stranger, which is someone you have only known for a few days or weeks.
Here's a long list of the jobs and careers that teen girls and young women can train themselves for:
Information Technology Analyst
Market Research Analyst
Medical and Health Services Management
Occupational Health Therapy
Sales Engineer;Social Work
Alcohol and Drug Counselors Nurse Practitioners
Architects, Nursing Home Administrators
Athletic Trainers, Occupational Therapy Assistants
Opthalmology, Optometrists, Pharmacy
Boiler Operators Pharmacy Technicians
Charitable Solicitations, Physical Therapists
Chiropractors, Physicians (MD)
Complementary Health Care Providers, Physicians (Osteopath)
Propane & Natural Gas Technicians
Dietitians Professional Engineers
Dental Hygienists, Professional Fundraisers
Dentists, Psychologists Radiologic Technologists
Electricians, Real Estate Appraisors
Elevator Inspectors and Mechanics Real Estate Professionals
Foresters, Respiratory Care Practitioners
Geologists, Scientists Speech-Language Pathologists
Interior Designers, Engineers
Jewelry making and design
Clothes design and production (like famous designer Vera Wang)
Contrary to what backward religionists BELIEVE, there are many other careers for women that DON'T have to include motherhood.
If some teen girls and women prefer to dedicate themselves to their career or profession INSTEAD of being a wife and/or a mother, that's just fine. The choice for a woman to be childfree (meaning "no kids by choice") is just as valid and responsible as the choice to be a mother.
“Joy To.The World ”
Since: Aug 08
The LORD Has Come
It Is most certainly hard to be a single working mom.
I finally git my arrears. But at the rate of 35 a week..Lol.
By that time my daughter was in college..so I gave mist of it to her for expenses..the little left..she git to use FOR her wedding.
Didn't help.me much
Got most of my education by taking classes,on my own..Still never made much at all.
The one time I asked for help..Vic Rehab was helping me as I had get a new,line if work ..so they paid some for school.
I got a blood clot..at that time you had to be in the hospital 2weeks. And then off your feet.
So I actually got food stamps! For two whole weeks!! BUT as I was talking to some agency that would help me out from the VOC REHAB people..they had s someone call me about TAKING MY CHILD INTO FOSTER CARE!!!
I think I screamed so loud the nurses came running..I was in shock and crying...
Thankfully my folks were still alive then..they both died a few years later...I convinced them THAT NONE OF THEIR SERVICES would be needed or welcome!!!!
That's what the total of my government HELP was.
I had a least worked and in my new job I just worked harder..determined that my child would have it better
No one can take her e education from her.
Thankfully she can manage with hubby job..to work part time and have the boys in school..SHE HAS A PROFESSION.
the one thing through all this I made sure of is I never again would have an unplanned pregnancy ..like the one I had in high school.
I knew,I could NEVER ever have an abortion...not give a child again for adoption ..not raise another child on my own
And when I could no longer use the pill.
I HAD MY TUBES tied..That is how SERIOUS I Was to be responsible.
We women do not have it easy .
But my daughter and now my son. Whose life I am now aPart of ..
Are my pride and joy.
That they have a better lot in life.
IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY. WAS MADE OF..
OUR chief goal in life is to make it better for them
And part of that is,DO NOT get pregnant ..unless you want to raise a child ..
Contrary to the false claim that "mothers never regret having their children," there are many women who DO regret becoming mothers at all. Here is just ONE such story, and it is one among many.
January 12, 2012 at 6:46 am
I really never thought motherhood would be like this. I was always hesitant about having children because I know I can be on the selfish side. I dont think I would have regrets if I had a normal baby! I ended up having a child that had severe colic, and acid reflux, and is VERY high maintenance!
I decided to be a stay at home mom when the nanny I had lined up fell through and daycare wasn't something my husband and I wanted for our child. It has been 6 months and I’m beginning to regret becoming a mom. She doesn't sleep, she eats every 1.5-2 hours (breastfed). She’s not gaining weight like she should. Some days I just feel like a total failure at life and being a mother!
My sister had a baby a couple months ago and he sleeps, and is happy overall. He has caught up to my daughter in weight also!! I know i shouldn't compare but its hard not to! Why did she luck out with a mellow happy baby?!
My mother in law has become a MONSTER IN LAW! Her true colors are shining through and she is overbearing, manipulative, boundary stomping bitch! She absolutely lived only for her two boys and has empty nest syndrome and is trying to transfer her CRAZY to my daughter! She acts like my daughter is HER daughter, and keeps buying baby furniture for her house piece by piece, like my daughter is going to live with her!!! Ugh I really hate her and hate that I have to see her more now that I’ve had a baby. I didn't like her before and definitely dont like her now!!!
I think if I could just take a vacation from being a mom every couple weeks I would feel a lot better about myself and my daughter!! I know its not my daughters fault and I feel so guilty sometimes for feeling this way. Its just nice to know I’m not alone!!
Too many girls/women are PRESSURED into having children by family members and/or religious community, and purposely aren't told just how very HARD motherhood is until AFTER they have had a baby. I think it is high time that changed. Some of the hardships mothers of all ages will face once a baby arrives include -- but are not limited to -- the following:
HARDSHIP #1: LOSS OF FREEDOM - Having a baby really does change everything, including the freedom that girls and women used to have in abundance. Once the baby arrives, that freedom will be gone, for at least the next five or six years and possibly longer. Teen girls and young women who become moms can forget about going out with friends, whether to the movies, to hang out at their favorite restaurant or coffee shop, or anywhere else for that matter. If they do go out, they’ll have to take the baby with them if their parents refuse to babysit. If the baby is sick or very cranky for any number of reasons, girls will end up staying home instead of going out. Girls who are still in middle or high school will find it much harder to do their homework assignments or study for exams when they have to care for a baby as well. It will be a very long time before women/girls get any of their former freedom back.
HARDSHIP #2: LOSS OF SLEEP - The first thing girls and women have to know about motherhood is that newborn babies do NOT sleep eight hours a night. All mothers, myself included, can honestly say that babies can – and do – wake up during the night as many as two or three times. Each time the baby wakes up, mom has to get up with the baby, feed the baby, change the baby’s diaper (which could be a messy one), and then get the baby back to sleep. When my son was a newborn baby, there were nights where I got NO sleep whatsoever. Luckily for me, I had completed high school and post-high school education long before that, so I didn’t have to get up at 5:00am to go to school after having almost no sleep. Those who are teen moms will not be so lucky.
HARDSHIP #3: LOSS OF MONEY - Whatever money a girl/woman used to spend on herself will have to be spent on the baby, and that cost is far more than most girls could begin to anticipate. These costs include diapers, food, clothing, baby equipment (car seat, crib, stroller, baby carriers, baby and child toys, etc.) and so much more. Anyone who wants to do the math can begin their research now, by going to their local grocery store and checking out the baby food and diaper sections. Just make sure you have a notebook and calculator, because you will need to multiply those costs for each item several times per week. That’s just for food and diapers, you haven’t even started on the costs for clothing, baby equipment and toys. That will add a staggering amount to your calculations, and the sum will be far higher than you could imagine. If you plan to put the baby in day care for any amount of time during the week, you will have to add up those costs too. Get the picture now? Having a baby costs a HUGE amount of money, which many girls and young women simply do not have, unless they have wealthy parents.
HARDSHIP #4: LOSS OF EDUCATION AND JOB/CAREER OPPORTUNITIES – As hard as it is to acknowledge, a working mother of any age cannot have the same kind of freedom, flexibility or mobility as a woman without children has. If a girl cannot complete high school due to the demands of motherhood, she will not be able to go to college or vocational school, as both typically require a high school diploma first. That automatically limits her ability to find good employment, and she may well have to settle for a minimum wage job, which pays far less than what is needed to raise a child comfortably. Girls and women who complete high school may find that many jobs require a college degree or vocational school certificate, and without those, she may still not be able to get a job that pays a decent salary. A high school diploma alone is no guarantee of good employment, but all girls need one if they hope to advance to higher levels of education that their chosen job or career requires.
HARDSHIP #5: LOSS OF MOBILITY – Those who don’t have children have a rather naďve idea that parents can just as easily take a baby with them whenever they go out. They are half right. Yes, parents can take a baby out with them, but it is far from easy. Even going to the grocery store with a baby can be a huge hassle. First they have to get the baby dressed, which can be difficult when the little one is happy being home and doesn’t want to be dressed to go out. After getting baby dressed, which can take much longer than mom expected, mom then has to put baby into the car seat, get baby out of the car seat when she arrives at the store, then carry baby around until she can find a cart with an infant carrier. Most grocery stores have very few of those, as I personally discovered long ago. Some may not have any. Going to a restaurant with a baby can also be very stressful, especially if baby suddenly begins crying or screaming for unknown reasons. Mothers who walk into restaurants with screaming or crying babies will find themselves the object of hostile stares, which usually last until they finally have to leave.
HARDSHIP #6: LOSS OF PRIVATE TIME – When a baby arrives, a mom will quickly find that she doesn’t have privacy any more. If she used to read books for hours with few or no interruptions, that will no longer be an option for her. If she is a teen mom who needs quiet time to complete her homework assignments or study for important final exams, that won’t be possible either. A baby will demand her attention many times during the day, so she won’t have private time for doing the things she enjoys or needs to complete.
HARDSHIP #7: DEALING WITH COLIC – For girls/women who are unaware, colic is a long period of crying, screaming and shrieking that can last for many hours a day, and even all night. It can begin when the baby is as young as three weeks old, and it can go on until the baby is five months old. My son had colic for almost two months as an infant. For me, it seemed more like two years. During that time, the crying usually began in the early evening and would last until past midnight. I would walk around the small apartment, carrying him in my arms for hours trying to comfort him, but nothing I did really worked. He wouldn’t eat, and he most certainly didn’t sleep, and I was a wreck as a result. Being deprived of sleep, with a colicky baby on top of that, can really feel like torture for a mom after a while. I was no exception.
There is no escaping the fact that becoming a mother makes a girl’s/woman's life much HARDER and she loses most, if not all, of the benefits and comforts she had before she got pregnant.
Girls and young women who aren't pregnant and have no children now need to know about these hardships long before a pregnancy ever happens, so they can PREVENT unwanted pregnancy to the best of their ability. If some girls/women decide they never want to struggle with the hardships of motherhood, that is fine too. The choice for a woman to be childfree is just as valid and respectable as the choice to be a mother.
Teen Motherhood Negatives:
1. Missing school days
2. Falling behind in school work
3. Losing sleep at night, for MANY nights
4. Worrying about how to pay for diapers and formula
5. Staying home with a crying or screaming baby instead of going out and having fun
6. Constantly changing wet and stinky diapers
7. Giving up favorite activities and future dreams
8. Missing out on prom
9. Losing friends who don’t want to be around babies
10. Losing out on the college or vocational school of choice
11. Dropping out of high school
12. Having to settle for low-wage or minimum-wage jobs
13. Being trapped in the dead-end, unpaid job known as “Occupation: Housewife”
14. Losing all freedom and financial independence
15. Coping with increased stress and worry
Teen Motherhood Positives: NONE
The way I see it, there are NO positives of teen motherhood at all. The only people who insist it’s a good thing fall into one of two categories; 1. regressive adults who never wanted girls to have higher education and career in the first place, and 2. girls who are already teen mothers and are forced by circumstances to make the best of it, no matter how unhappy or even miserable they really are. Girls cannot afford to let themselves believe that teen motherhood is better than higher education and career. The best key a girl has for escaping the trap of poverty, or to avoid falling into it, is education. It is education that leads to the good-paying jobs, and it is the jobs that lead to having a steady
income. Without that education to build on, girls risk being trapped in the cycle of poverty for many years to come. By the way, there’s nothing good about poverty either.
So, girls, the next time a boyfriend pressures you for sex, ask yourself if that 20 or 30 minutes of sex fun is worth giving up ALL your freedom to be a normal, carefree teenager and your freedom to pursue the education that will lead to much better jobs in the future. Hint: the only sensible answer is NO.
QUESTIONS, NOT SEX
If a girl's boyfriend is pressuring her to have sex, it would be a good strategy for her to ask him some serious questions instead. Such as:
1. Do you have a job?(If yes) Does it pay well?
2. Do you have health insurance?
3. Do you know how much diapers and formula cost, plus baby clothes, a crib, stroller, and everything else a baby needs?
4. Do you know what doctor visits cost, both during pregnancy and after a baby is born?
5. Do you like being around screaming babies, changing stinking diapers, and losing sleep every night?
6. Are you ready, willing, and able to be a teen father?
If her boyfriend answers "no" to all six questions, as he is most likely to do, her best response is: "I didn't think so. Well guess what, I don't want to be a teen mom and wreck all MY future plans either. So I'm still NOT going to have sex."
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