Are Childless Couples Happier Than Pa...

Are Childless Couples Happier Than Parents?

There are 27 comments on the findingDulcinea story from Jul 1, 2008, titled Are Childless Couples Happier Than Parents?. In it, findingDulcinea reports that:

Studies show that having children doesn't necessarily make you a happier person.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at findingDulcinea.

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sam

Arnold, MO

#21 Feb 19, 2012
I'm happy to NOT have childen BY CHOICE! While I love and like my niece and nephew and cousins kids I can't stand other people kids nor would I make good parents.Can't STAND the messy part aka dipers, potty training food smearing etc. If I can't stand s/he demoans aka baby noise what make you think I'm going to stand kids loud pitch screams, slaming door, vomit, smart mouth teens etc without going medievil on them? No thank you! I'm happy with my four legged 'childen' with peace and quited.
Ocean56

AOL

#22 Feb 26, 2012
sam wrote:
I'm happy to NOT have childen BY CHOICE! While I love and like my niece and nephew and cousins kids I can't stand other people kids nor would I make good parents.Can't STAND the messy part aka dipers, potty training food smearing etc. If I can't stand s/he demoans aka baby noise what make you think I'm going to stand kids loud pitch screams, slaming door, vomit, smart mouth teens etc without going medievil on them? No thank you! I'm happy with my four legged 'childen' with peace and quited.
Although I'm a "done after one" (DAO) mom, I fully understand and support the childfree choice. There are many sacrifices and hardships involved when couples decide to have children, which many people over the last two decades DON'T want to experience. I've "been there, done that" once, and by the time DS was almost three, I knew that my decision to stop at just ONE child was the right one.

It would be a very good thing for all concerned if more singles and couples really THOUGHT about the sacrifices and hardships of parenting and whether they could or wanted to cope with them. It's far better to make the NON-parenting decision long before a pregnancy occurs than after a child arrives.

New moms and dads have to deal with many losses; chiefly, loss of total freedom to do whatever THEY want, loss of sleep, and loss of money. Men and women who know they don't want any of the hardships associated with parenting are making the wise and responsible choice not to have children. And there is NOTHING wrong with men and women who don't want kids, contrary to what many people prefer to believe.

Ocean56

AOL

#23 Feb 26, 2012
Melanie wrote:
I have been trying to fall pregnant for nearly four years, having had two miscarriages and four failed fertility treatments and will turn 40 at the beginning of 2012. My desires to have children are becoming less and less, particularly as I watch my friends families grow and see them less as their lives become increasingly consumed by a child centred universe. They still ask me how 'it is all going' meaning getting pregnant. When I say that I'm not concerned about it anymore, they think that I am saying that I am giving up but still want children. They keep telling me stories about women who fall pregnant to twins at 46 and that there is still time. Seriously, as my husband and I become increasingly more comfortable in our relationship and our lifestyle, having a toddler running around the house at 50 years old is not a desirable outcome for me but still people just won't accept that I could possibly be happy as I am. I am sure that I will go through periods of wishing I had built a family but I am a teacher and will always have an extended family of hundreds. I believe that I am as happy without children as I could be if I fell pregnant four years ago and certainly happier than if I fall pregnant in six years time!
If you decide to stop trying to get pregnant, that's entirely YOUR decision and your business. Of course, that isn't going to get the nosy ones to quit asking rude questions.

I used to get rude questions from some annoying people as time went by and I showed no signs of being pregnant again. I found the best way to combat the rudeness was to ask pointed questions right back at them. Here's one example:

Q. So when do you think you'll try for another child?

A. I haven't decided that yet. Why do you ask?

That indicates that you don't care to discuss it, and it was rude of them to ask in the first place.
Abcd

Doncaster East, Australia

#24 Jun 26, 2012
I believe at times people who cannot have a child because of biological reasons want to hear that some of the couples with kids are also not happy just to psychologicaly treat themselves. Every human being is different.
Abcd

Doncaster East, Australia

#25 Jun 26, 2012
Also would like to ask people who have children that why do they want to have one? Is it future security that kids will take care of them when they become old, or is it that everyone having it because of norm or its just natural or for some want change in their lives or something else?
Marie57

Colonial Heights, VA

#27 Oct 19, 2016
I do not have or want children. I don't hate kids. On the contrary, I love kids as long as their not mine
I have friends who have kids and grandkids. So they are talking to other people who have kids and Igrandkids too. I feel very out of place so I simply excuse myself. I think motherhood is great if that's what you want. I do not think that I am being selfish. Plus I am not financially or emotionally capable to raise a kid. I do value my privacy at times. But you want to be a mom then more power to you but for me motherhood was never in my future and at 59 yrs old I still feel the same way
Marie57

Colonial Heights, VA

#28 Oct 19, 2016
I don't think you have to have a child to be happy. I have no kids by choice. I think kids are great and I love them as long as their not mine. I believe motherhood is a fine thing if that's what a woman wants. I never wanted any and I don't think I am being selfish. It's my personal choice. Plus I am not financially and emotionally capable to raise a child. I respect mothers. It's not easy to take care of a child at times. So since I respect your choice please respect mine. Plus I do value my privacy.

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