Helping gay teens to be themselves

Jul 23, 2009 | Posted by: Thomas Jackson | Full story: lgbtyouthnews.blogspot.com

PARENTING: THE KELLY family had just arrived home from midnight Mass on Christmas Eve in 2005 and were about to have a celebratory drink when 16-year-old Jamie decided the time was right to disclose to his parents that he was gay, writes SHEILA WAYMAN

He told his mother, Vera, first in the kitchen and she quickly called in her husband, Michael, and Jamie told him as well.

“I did get quite upset,” says Jamie, recalling the moment in the company of his parents at home in Firhouse, Dublin, more than three and a half years later.

“We all got upset,” agrees Vera. It was an emotional time anyway for the family as Michael’s mother was extremely ill in hospital. Vera was to learn later from other parents that a person’s coming out often coincides with something else going on, such as serious illness or exam stress.

Jamie was reassured when his parents’ initial reaction was, “Oh is that all”. “They thought it was something else, like drugs. You thought there was something playing on my mind,” he reminds them.

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Duped since birth

Havre De Grace, MD

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#23
Jul 23, 2009
 

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Just imagine what it would be like to live in a world where religion had not infested everything, where children could grow up to be what they want to be without stigma attached to certain acts, where women were just as worthy as men (hear that, pope?). I suspect there would be a lot more healthy sex and play among young people, both intra- and inter-gender, a lot more experimentation. And the number of people who were truly gay would be about the same as now. And no kid killing another kid because of unwanted advances.

“That's Mama Luigi to you too”

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Orange County,CA

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Jul 23, 2009
 

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Duped since birth wrote:
Just imagine what it would be like to live in a world where religion had not infested everything, where children could grow up to be what they want to be without stigma attached to certain acts, where women were just as worthy as men (hear that, pope?). I suspect there would be a lot more healthy sex and play among young people, both intra- and inter-gender, a lot more experimentation. And the number of people who were truly gay would be about the same as now. And no kid killing another kid because of unwanted advances.
A utopia.

“laugh until your belly hurts”

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#29
Jul 23, 2009
 

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Duped since birth wrote:
Just imagine what it would be like to live in a world where religion had not infested everything, where children could grow up to be what they want to be without stigma attached to certain acts, where women were just as worthy as men (hear that, pope?). I suspect there would be a lot more healthy sex and play among young people, both intra- and inter-gender, a lot more experimentation. And the number of people who were truly gay would be about the same as now. And no kid killing another kid because of unwanted advances.
didn't john lennon sing a song about that? it actually got banned in some locations as being 'atheistic' and 'anarchist'.
Duped since birth

Havre De Grace, MD

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Jul 24, 2009
 

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dances with weebles wrote:
<quoted text>
didn't john lennon sing a song about that? it actually got banned in some locations as being 'atheistic' and 'anarchist'.
It's my anthem. There's a sidewalk mosaic in Central Park (Strawberry Fields), NYC, dedicated to the song and the man.
Hellboy

Buffalo, NY

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#41
Jul 24, 2009
 

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Who are they if not themselves?

Since: Jun 09

Artarmon, Australia

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#61
Jul 24, 2009
 

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Mona Lott wrote:
Some other poster gave you 2 links, but I guess they don't count because they don't have an Evangelical bias.
No, because the links simply outlined opinions , not scientific proven facts.

I don’t mind if someone states that so-and –so is of the opinion that people are born gay.

But if they are going to assert it as a matter of indisputable scientifically proven fact then I feel entitled to ask for a reference to that indisputable proof.

And if none can be provided, I am entitled to reject the notion.
Skeptical

Middletown, DE

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#62
Jul 24, 2009
 

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ChristianView wrote:
<quoted text>
No, because the links simply outlined opinions , not scientific proven facts.
I don’t mind if someone states that so-and –so is of the opinion that people are born gay.
But if they are going to assert it as a matter of indisputable scientifically proven fact then I feel entitled to ask for a reference to that indisputable proof.
And if none can be provided, I am entitled to reject the notion.
The advice mentioned on the sites I listed wasn't really opinion as much as it was educated theory based on scientific research.
Mona Lott

Brooklyn, NY

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#63
Jul 24, 2009
 

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ChristianView wrote:
<quoted text>
No, because the links simply outlined opinions , not scientific proven facts.
I don’t mind if someone states that so-and –so is of the opinion that people are born gay.
But if they are going to assert it as a matter of indisputable scientifically proven fact then I feel entitled to ask for a reference to that indisputable proof.
And if none can be provided, I am entitled to reject the notion.
Point taken. You are free to believe whatever you choose....and you are making a choice to believe the Bible. And don't say "It's NOT me, it's God!" Do you have any idea how insulting that is?
So what proof do you have that it is a choice? I personally don't remember making a choice...I've always been "aroused" by men....long as I can remember...didn't know what I was feeling...but I knew I liked the boys. I've also had 10 yrs of weekly psychotherapy that took place over 10 years ago. I was not unhappy about being gay. I was unhappy being treated by midwesterners as lower than 2nd class. Why do people treat me so badly because they perceive I am gay...they don't even know me...they don't know what I've been through in my life. After 10 yrs, I figured it out. 80% of people are not worth my time, but it's the other 20% that makes life fun. Never teach a pig to sing. It is a waste of time and it annoys the hell out of the pig.
Mona Lott

Brooklyn, NY

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#64
Jul 24, 2009
 

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ChristianView wrote:
<quoted text>
Likewise, it is very difficult to explain how we were created by God to someone who insists on believing that the universe came out of nothing and that we evolved from rocks.
Our belief systems are just too diametrically opposed to have any common ground, you know, what does light have in common with darkness?
I don't believe the Universe came out of nothing nor that we evolved from rocks. No need to trivialize a VAST body of scientific research. Science proves that energy cannot be created or destroyed, it merely changes form. Clearly the "energy" that changed form came from somewhere.
What does light have in common with darkness?
You didn't really ask that did you?
By definition, darkness is the absense of light. So all that exists is light. Darkness does not "exist" by itself.

So now explain again your creation story.

“ reality, what a concept”

Since: Nov 07

this one

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#66
Jul 24, 2009
 

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ChristianView wrote:
<quoted text>
No, because the links simply outlined opinions , not scientific proven facts.
I don’t mind if someone states that so-and –so is of the opinion that people are born gay.
But if they are going to assert it as a matter of indisputable scientifically proven fact then I feel entitled to ask for a reference to that indisputable proof.
And if none can be provided, I am entitled to reject the notion.
The reality is that the causal mechanisms as to why most people are heterosexual and the rest of us are not are not known to a scientific certainty. The current understanding of those who study causality is that there is unlikely to be a single identifiable pathway that places us on the spectrum of sexual orientation. There is no single genetic switch for sexual orientation, but that does not mean that genetics does not play a significant role in it. It is known that there is a degree of heritability to homosexuality and that it tends to run along maternal lines, particularly in males. The study of sexual orientation in twins has demonstrated that there exists a yet unidentified genetic component to being homosexual, as twins are more likely to share a non-heterosexual orientation than single siblings. Adding to this genetic component are a number of biological factors occurring prior to birth that are seen to result in the primary reason why most people who are homosexual are homosexual.

While you are second guessing our reality and making the bizarre assumption that you know our minds better than we do, the vast majority of us knew we were homosexual long before we had any idea what that was. We knew we were different from an early age and that the heterosexual norm was something that wasn't meant for us. Your belief system requires you to reject the notion that anyone can possibly be naturally homosexual. How can you possibly "love the sinner, but hate the sin" if the supposed sin is a very innate part of who we are as human beings? It's a lot easier to live with that kind of bigotry on your conscience, if you imagine we are acting in defiance of your interpretation of God by choosing to be homosexual, but if our only say in the matter is our choice how we live with the homosexual we were created to be, that puts your bigotry on shaky moral ground as you would be condemning God's creation.

“Putan end to religious thought”

Since: Jun 07

The Freak Kingdom

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Jul 24, 2009
 

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Rick in Kansas wrote:
<quoted text>
The reality is that the causal mechanisms as to why most people are heterosexual and the rest of us are not are not known to a scientific certainty. The current understanding of those who study causality is that there is unlikely to be a single identifiable pathway that places us on the spectrum of sexual orientation. There is no single genetic switch for sexual orientation, but that does not mean that genetics does not play a significant role in it. It is known that there is a degree of heritability to homosexuality and that it tends to run along maternal lines, particularly in males. The study of sexual orientation in twins has demonstrated that there exists a yet unidentified genetic component to being homosexual, as twins are more likely to share a non-heterosexual orientation than single siblings. Adding to this genetic component are a number of biological factors occurring prior to birth that are seen to result in the primary reason why most people who are homosexual are homosexual.
While you are second guessing our reality and making the bizarre assumption that you know our minds better than we do, the vast majority of us knew we were homosexual long before we had any idea what that was. We knew we were different from an early age and that the heterosexual norm was something that wasn't meant for us. Your belief system requires you to reject the notion that anyone can possibly be naturally homosexual. How can you possibly "love the sinner, but hate the sin" if the supposed sin is a very innate part of who we are as human beings? It's a lot easier to live with that kind of bigotry on your conscience, if you imagine we are acting in defiance of your interpretation of God by choosing to be homosexual, but if our only say in the matter is our choice how we live with the homosexual we were created to be, that puts your bigotry on shaky moral ground as you would be condemning God's creation.
Brilliantly stated Rick. You are good at that.

Cheers.

“That's Mama Luigi to you too”

Since: Jun 08

Orange County,CA

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#70
Jul 24, 2009
 

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Aww..Damn I'm missed out the fun. Knocking "born again" christians off their moral high horse is my favorite pass time.

Since: Jun 09

Arcadia, CA

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#72
Jul 24, 2009
 

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ChristianView wrote:
<quoted text>
No, because the links simply outlined opinions , not scientific proven facts.
I don’t mind if someone states that so-and –so is of the opinion that people are born gay.
But if they are going to assert it as a matter of indisputable scientifically proven fact then I feel entitled to ask for a reference to that indisputable proof.
And if none can be provided, I am entitled to reject the notion.
So is heterosexuality "proven" scientifically? Or would it be considered to be biased research? I agree with you on one point, that everything YOU state is opinion.

“Marriage=Love+Co mmitment.....”

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#76
Jul 25, 2009
 

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ChristianView wrote:
<quoted text>
No, because the links simply outlined opinions , not scientific proven facts.
I don’t mind if someone states that so-and –so is of the opinion that people are born gay.
But if they are going to assert it as a matter of indisputable scientifically proven fact then I feel entitled to ask for a reference to that indisputable proof.
And if none can be provided, I am entitled to reject the notion.
Why is it that the religious conservatives, whose beliefs are based solely on blind faith, and usually reject scientific theories such as Darwin's, are always the first ones to expect scientific proof of something that they don't agree with? Yet when presented with what scientific proof there is so far, they just reject it outright because they don't believe it. There would never be enough evidence to convince them anyway. Sexuality as a complex issue. Can you explain why you are straight?
No gay needs scientific proof that they were born that way. They know from their earliest sexual stirrings, before they had a name for it, that they were for the same sex.

“Marriage=Love+Co mmitment.....”

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#77
Jul 25, 2009
 
writewingproxycontin wrote:
<quoted text>
Here's a difference, you hom skooled rube: Some are ideas are scientifically testable. Some aren't.
Many of the xstain fundie talibangelicals' ideas are proven false already. You have a mental disorder.
Praiz!
Hey, don't insult homeschoolers. They are not all homeschooled because they are religious fanatics, and they typically score better on standardized tests than public schoolers.
Wally

Albuquerque, NM

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Jul 25, 2009
 

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michael wrote:
Calling it a "choice" is wrong, no one "chooses" to be beat up, discriminated against, to be called a f (would you believe yahoo refused to allow me to call us what we are?), to join an outcast group that is hated, reviled and condemned by "christians" anyone who thinks its a "choice" has been brainwashed.
<quoted text>
Don't be naive. Lots of people join outcast groups, especially teens. They like the attention it brings and they like the reactions they get from others. Playing a victim is quite often a choice, and some people actually like it.
Wally

Albuquerque, NM

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Jul 25, 2009
 

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Mona Lott wrote:
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Why do you continue to call homosexuality a choice, when all the medical research proves otherwise?
What research? Please post a source.
Wally

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Jul 25, 2009
 

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Duped since birth wrote:
I suspect there would be a lot more healthy sex and play among young people, both intra- and inter-gender, a lot more experimentation.
You think this is good?

“laugh until your belly hurts”

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Jul 25, 2009
 

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Wally wrote:
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You think this is good?
yes... HEALTHY sex play amongst teens and even children would boost education, cut down on teen pregnancy, stds, and sociological, psychological, and physiological problems. it would also take sex out of the church and put it in the home / school where it belongs. people would learn early on how, when and why to use a condom as well as intelligent us of birth control. they would learn about diseases and how to prevent them as well as help to stifle the tendency to be embarrassed about their body.

“That's Mama Luigi to you too”

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Orange County,CA

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Jul 25, 2009
 

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Wally wrote:
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The hate in here is overwhelming. And it is NOT coming from the Christians!
Pot calling the kettle black as all ways.

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