Is Co-Parenting Possible When A Viole...

Is Co-Parenting Possible When A Violent Marriage Ends?

There are 8 comments on the Medical News Today story from Mar 19, 2009, titled Is Co-Parenting Possible When A Violent Marriage Ends?. In it, Medical News Today reports that:

Main Category: Pediatrics / Children's Health Also Included In: Public Health ; Psychology / Psychiatry ; Women's Health / Gynecology Article Date: 19 Mar 2009 - 0:00 PDT When a marriage that has included violence ends, is co-parenting possible? It depends on whether intimate terrorism or situational violence was involved, says a new University of ...

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hairyfrog

Auburn, AL

#1 Mar 19, 2009
I submitted the following comment to the source web-site under the title "Emotional Footballs In A Minefield"

"Risk may continue if former partners co-parent after divorce because abusers still have access to their former wives"

What about the children?
Let me backtrack and say that I am a non-professional whose stance is that the interests of the children should come first.
Divorce is often an emotional minefield, where - even in cases where no violence or nastiness occured DURING the marriage - both parents try to "score points" off the other, often using the children as emotional footballs to do so. And even when this means just trying to "buy" the children (by exaggerated gift-giving, filling them up with junk food, and and and) the children so treated suffer.
When there exists an underlining potential for violence, this danger takes on a whole different dimension.
Of COURSE I'm concerned that an abusive partner might continue to abuse his/her ex-spouse.
But I'm even more concerned that he (or she) might turn that violence (or THREAT of violence) against the children.
I would agree 100% with this study that in cases of emotional terrorism, this risk is much higher. But ANYONE who - when times are rough - turns to violence as a solution should be carefully monitored when dealing with children after a divorce.
Because after a divorce... times are rough.
Ivory Dove

Helotes, TX

#2 Mar 21, 2009
Those are important points to consider.
CyberMom

AOL

#3 Mar 28, 2009
hairyfrog wrote:
I submitted the following comment to the source web-site under the title "Emotional Footballs In A Minefield"
"Risk may continue if former partners co-parent after divorce because abusers still have access to their former wives"
What about the children?
Let me backtrack and say that I am a non-professional whose stance is that the interests of the children should come first.
Divorce is often an emotional minefield, where - even in cases where no violence or nastiness occured DURING the marriage - both parents try to "score points" off the other, often using the children as emotional footballs to do so. And even when this means just trying to "buy" the children (by exaggerated gift-giving, filling them up with junk food, and and and) the children so treated suffer.
When there exists an underlining potential for violence, this danger takes on a whole different dimension.
Of COURSE I'm concerned that an abusive partner might continue to abuse his/her ex-spouse.
But I'm even more concerned that he (or she) might turn that violence (or THREAT of violence) against the children.
I would agree 100% with this study that in cases of emotional terrorism, this risk is much higher. But ANYONE who - when times are rough - turns to violence as a solution should be carefully monitored when dealing with children after a divorce.
Because after a divorce... times are rough.
This very problem has lead to many women and children being killed. But how to control it is the issue.

Courts need to look at the ex spouses record, and if it is abusive, there needs to be a protective layer made between the abuser, and the woman and children. And ridgedly enforced legally.

Since: Mar 09

Bristol,Virginia

#4 Mar 29, 2009
yeah its true
Boycott All Target Stores

Chicago, IL

#6 Mar 29, 2009
Two things:

1. I agree with the article.
2. Women should learn self defense and/or a martial art so they won't be so helpless against men.
Green MnM

Atlanta, GA

#8 Apr 9, 2009
CyberMom wrote:
<quoted text>
This very problem has lead to many men and children being killed. But how to control it is the issue.
Since women are the overwhelming majority of attackers, maybe all women should be fitted with "shock" collars that could incapacitate the rabid beast when necessary.
RJF

Chicago, IL

#9 Apr 9, 2009
Green MnM wrote:
<quoted text>
Since women are the overwhelming majority of attackers, maybe all women should be fitted with "shock" collars that could incapacitate the rabid beast when necessary.
Not a bad idea. But once men figure it out they won't attack above the chest.:-)
Nasir
#10 Sep 23, 2013
I have ordered 2 times from this website PILLSMEDSHOP. COM . I called yesterday the customer care and asked for a discount as i was about to order twice the regular amount.

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