One by One, Our Abortion Stories Can ...

One by One, Our Abortion Stories Can Change Debate

There are 1167 comments on the Women's eNews story from Dec 9, 2012, titled One by One, Our Abortion Stories Can Change Debate. In it, Women's eNews reports that:

Three drugstore purchased tests had proved it without a doubt. I was pregnant. Sitting on the toilet, looking at the tests lined up side by side on the tub, it was a typically cool and foggy summer day near the beach in San Francisco.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at Women's eNews.

Ocean56

AOL

#862 Jan 1, 2013
Largelanguage wrote:
You idiot. What sort of parents do you think won't babysit? And if the little girlie fool takes up a part time job and works AFTER 3 PM which is when they leave school they can work at their part time job.
You can insult me all you want, moron. It doesn't change the fact that having a baby is very EXPENSIVE, and teen girls are better off knowing that BEFORE they make the mistake of having sex.

Personally, I feel teen girls are better off staying sex-FREE (meaning free FROM sex) until they are at least of legal age and have graduated high school. It's wonderful how much freedom a teen girl has when she ISN'T pregnant. Girls need to think very carefully about all they risk losing by having sex and possibly getting pregnant. They need to think about it BEFORE having sex for the first time, not afterward. If they only think of it afterward, it may already be too late.
Ocean56

AOL

#863 Jan 1, 2013
TEEN MOTHERHOOD NEGATIVES:

- Missing school days
- Falling behind in school work
- Losing sleep at night...for many nights
- Worrying about how to pay for formula and diapers
- Staying home with a screaming, crying baby instead of going out and having fun
- Constantly changing wet and stinky diapers
- Giving up your favorite activities, sports, and hobbies
- Missing out on prom
- Losing friends who don't want to be around babies
- Losing out on the college or vocational school of choice
- Dropping out of high school
- Having to settle for low-income jobs, often without benefits
- Always being short of money
- Giving up all dreams of higher education and dream career for a long time, perhaps forever
- Being trapped in the dead-end "job" known as "occupation: housewife."
- Losing all freedom and independence to go and do whatever a girl wants

TEEN MOTHERHOOD POSITIVES:

None

The way I see it, there are NO positives of teen motherhood at all. The only people who insist it's a good thing fall into one of two categories; 1. those who never wanted girls to have higher education and career in the first place, and 2. girls who already teen mothers and have to make the best of it, no matter how truly unhappy they might be.

Girls cannot afford to let themselves believe that teen motherhood, which too often leads to real poverty, is better than higher education and career. The best key to escape the trap of poverty, or to avoid falling into it to begin with, is EDUCATION. Without that education, girls risk being trapped in the cycle of poverty, which they may never escape from.

So, girls, the next time a boyfriend pressures you for sex, ask yourself if that 20 or 30 minutes of fun is worth giving up all your freedom to be a normal teenager. Hint: the sensible answer is NO.
Largelanguage

Chester, UK

#864 Jan 1, 2013
Ocean56 wrote:
<quoted text>
You can insult me all you want, moron. It doesn't change the fact that having a baby is very EXPENSIVE, and teen girls are better off knowing that BEFORE they make the mistake of having sex.
Personally, I feel teen girls are better off staying sex-FREE (meaning free FROM sex) until they are at least of legal age and have graduated high school. It's wonderful how much freedom a teen girl has when she ISN'T pregnant. Girls need to think very carefully about all they risk losing by having sex and possibly getting pregnant. They need to think about it BEFORE having sex for the first time, not afterward. If they only think of it afterward, it may already be too late.
It's usually feminists like you to blame. I feel I understand quite a bit why these teen girls do it.

“Blessed Be”

Since: Jun 07

Location hidden

#865 Jan 1, 2013
Ocean56 wrote:
<quoted text>
You can insult me all you want, moron. It doesn't change the fact that having a baby is very EXPENSIVE, and teen girls are better off knowing that BEFORE they make the mistake of having sex.
Personally, I feel teen girls are better off staying sex-FREE (meaning free FROM sex) until they are at least of legal age and have graduated high school. It's wonderful how much freedom a teen girl has when she ISN'T pregnant. Girls need to think very carefully about all they risk losing by having sex and possibly getting pregnant. They need to think about it BEFORE having sex for the first time, not afterward. If they only think of it afterward, it may already be too late.
It's amazing to me that they criticize you when you're advocating the very same thing they do; abstinence for teenaged girls.

I guess it's because the reasons you give are not "because God said so", huh?
Ocean56

AOL

#866 Jan 1, 2013
Helpful Rules For Teens In PREVENTING Pregnancy and STD's:

1. NEVER consent to sex if you know you aren't on birth control and a guy tells you he doesn't have or use condoms (make sure you ask him about condoms BEFORE having sex).

2. ALWAYS use protection, whether it is condoms, the pill, or both, any and EVERY time you decide to have sex. Not using protection even ONE time will result in an unwanted pregnancy sooner or later.

3. ALWAYS be aware that all contraceptive methods can fail and that pregnancy could result.

4. NEVER assume you can't get pregnant because you're on birth control, even the pill.

5. NEVER let yourself be pressured into having sex if you really don't want to do it.

6. NEVER believe a guy who says "trust me, you can't get pregnant." Don't have sex with this guy either.

7. NEVER have a child if you have any doubts about or unwillingness to be a mom or a dad.

8. NEVER be afraid to dump a boyfriend or girlfriend if he/she pressures you to do things you don't want to do.

9. NEVER assume that having anal sex cannot cause pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease. It can do both.

10. ALWAYS ask exactly what a guy means when he says "I'm old fashioned." It could mean he believes that girls are ONLY meant to be wives and mothers and nothing else. Don't have sex with this guy, as it could be a trap.

11. ALWAYS keep busy with studies and school or extracurricular activities that you really like and don't want to GIVE UP.
Largelanguage

Chester, UK

#867 Jan 1, 2013
10. ALWAYS ask exactly what a guy means when he says "I'm old fashioned." It could mean he believes that girls are ONLY meant to be wives and mothers and nothing else. Don't have sex with this guy, as it could be a trap.

This is actually quite biased, as many girls like to trap boys too. And you sound pretty ignorant anyway as it probably means by old fashioned that they follow the abstinence before marriage priniciples anyway.
Ocean56

AOL

#868 Jan 1, 2013
Bitner wrote:
It's amazing to me that they criticize you when you're advocating the very same thing they do; abstinence for teenaged girls.
I guess it's because the reasons you give are not "because God said so", huh?
Yep, I think that's EXACTLY the reason the regressive religionists criticize my posts; because there's not some kind of "god says girls should..." nonsense in them.:-)
Largelanguage

Chester, UK

#869 Jan 1, 2013
Ocean56 wrote:
<quoted text>
Yep, I think that's EXACTLY the reason the regressive religionists criticize my posts; because there's not some kind of "god says girls should..." nonsense in them.:-)
No it isn't, you fool, you have no love in you, you foolish young turd, poor child, you have no marriage to look to, and you have found only a husband for you to hook up with, after hooking up with other men, you don't love your children, and your children do not love you, poor child.
Ocean56

AOL

#870 Jan 1, 2013
Largelanguage wrote:
>>10. ALWAYS ask exactly what a guy means when he says "I'm old fashioned." It could mean he believes that girls are ONLY meant to be wives and mothers and nothing else. Don't have sex with this guy, as it could be a trap.<<
This is actually quite biased, as many girls like to trap boys too. And you sound pretty ignorant anyway as it probably means by old fashioned that they follow the abstinence before marriage priniciples anyway.
You can claim it's "biased" all you want, moron. The fact remains that all of these rules can help teens AVOID life-altering and in many cases DISASTROUS consequences of unwanted pregnancy and STD's. That's why I wrote them.
Largelanguage

Chester, UK

#871 Jan 1, 2013
Ocean56 wrote:
<quoted text>
You can claim it's "biased" all you want, moron. The fact remains that all of these rules can help teens AVOID life-altering and in many cases DISASTROUS consequences of unwanted pregnancy and STD's. That's why I wrote them.
Is that the only reasons? Poor child, you have been raped for years and abused at an early age, and now you want to get back at them through sadomachistic dominants on all men, poor child, you are looking for love yet you cannot find it.

Since: Jun 08

Atrisco Village

#872 Jan 1, 2013
Largelanguage wrote:
<quoted text>
Is that the only reasons? Poor child, you have been raped for years and abused at an early age, and now you want to get back at them through sadomachistic dominants on all men, poor child, you are looking for love yet you cannot find it.
Please keep your sick, deviant sexual fantasies to yourself. You're going to get yourself banned, perv.
Ocean56

AOL

#873 Jan 1, 2013
Largelanguage wrote:
Is that the only reasons? Poor child, you have been raped for years and abused at an early age, and now you want to get back at them through sadomachistic dominants on all men, poor child, you are looking for love yet you cannot find it.
More nonsense from a regressive moron, why am I not surprised. Here's a newsflash for you; you're as LOUSY at writing fiction as you are about posting your idiotic OPINIONS. But if that's all that keeps you happy, knock yourself out.
Largelanguage

Chester, UK

#874 Jan 1, 2013
Ocean56 wrote:
<quoted text>
More nonsense from a regressive moron, why am I not surprised. Here's a newsflash for you; you're as LOUSY at writing fiction as you are about posting your idiotic OPINIONS. But if that's all that keeps you happy, knock yourself out.
Writing fiction? I wasn't even attempting to write fiction. Maybe you made the claim because you thought it was well written and wanted to suggest it wasn't, simply because you don't like me, and feel inferior to someone who can actually write. It could be just a speculation, but it could also be true.
Ink

Bensalem, PA

#875 Jan 1, 2013
Ocean56 wrote:
<quoted text>
You can insult me all you want, moron. It doesn't change the fact that having a baby is very EXPENSIVE, and teen girls are better off knowing that BEFORE they make the mistake of having sex.
Personally, I feel teen girls are better off staying sex-FREE (meaning free FROM sex) until they are at least of legal age and have graduated high school. It's wonderful how much freedom a teen girl has when she ISN'T pregnant. Girls need to think very carefully about all they risk losing by having sex and possibly getting pregnant. They need to think about it BEFORE having sex for the first time, not afterward. If they only think of it afterward, it may already be too late.
Nobody thinks that unmarried teenage girls should be having babies.
Largelanguage

Chester, UK

#876 Jan 1, 2013
Ink wrote:
<quoted text>
Nobody thinks that unmarried teenage girls should be having babies.
I know, its stupid.
Ocean56

AOL

#877 Jan 2, 2013
Largelanguage wrote:
Writing fiction? I wasn't even attempting to write fiction. Maybe you made the claim because you thought it was well written and wanted to suggest it wasn't, simply because you don't like me, and feel inferior to someone who can actually write. It could be just a speculation, but it could also be true.
WOW. Are you really so deluded that you think I may feel inferior to YOU? Not a chance, pal, but you're free to believe whatever nonsense you want.
Ocean56

AOL

#879 Jan 2, 2013
For anyone who wants to believe the story of the woman who deeply REGRETS becoming a mother is an anomaly, here's another story.

**********

http://www.cafemom.com/journals/read/694465/I...

I hate motherhood

Jan. 11, 2008 at 1:10am

by Beba2m

"Why is it that we are conned into thinking that motherhood is a blissful, satisfying, and rewarding blessing? I attend a mothers group for young mothers and the other day one of the social workers asked..."Who hates being a mom?" Everyone looked at each other as if they were afraid of the question and that admitting to it is a mortal sin. My hand shot up. After a year of being a mother I can't hate it more. It just prevents me being truly happy. I know some women out there have invested time and money into having a child and think its the most glorious and officious thing in the world. But I think that from little girls we are brain washed into thinking that being a mother is what our duty is. Its evident by the toys marketed towards girls: baby dolls that poop and pee with their carriages, little tiny kitchens, even vacuum and broom sets. JESUS!

Needless to say my pregnancy was unplanned and unwanted. I was 21, unmarried, and still in college with hopes of attending medical school. I dreaded being pregnant and the permanent scars it would leave on my already flawed body. I thought that once I had the baby I would love being a mother and a wife. The truth is I hate it. I couldn't love my child anymore, his smile touches a part of my heart that no one else can, but I don't like being his mother.

It is just a burden I don't want to deal with at this point of my life. The feeding, the changing, the constant neediness, which I know will perpetuate until the day I die. I decided to breastfeed him and still do and regret every day I decided to do this. It has been 14mo since he was born and I still have no ownership of my body. I have tried to ween him, but he become unbearable.

Before having him I was a straight A student, active in school, and I held up to two jobs. Now its seems I can't get my shit straight. My grades would be more that satisfactory for other students, but they just don't cut it for me. I feel like I have to choose between my dreams, and being a good mother, which isn't fair.

I have all the love and support from my husband, but its not enough because I feel like a failure, like I've failed myself. All these emotions have just turned into anger, and its just boiling inside of me because its turned into hate. I can't control my anger anymore. I can't stand being alone all day with my son. He wants to be all over me and all I want is my space. I try to play with him, but I'd rather be elsewhere. I feel like I have to give and give and give, but in return nothing.

To make things worse, I'm totally isolated. My mother lives in an other state. All my friends graduated 2 years ago and moved on with their lives. I have no friends I can relate to, even when I'm at school. I just feel thrusted into a position where I had no say, and I was pushed into it "because it was the right thing to do".

Now I'm filled with regrets, morn the loss of the life and the person that I was (which I really liked) and feel all alone in life. I hate being a mother. I hate my life. Most of all I hate what I've become. "
Largelanguage

Chester, UK

#880 Jan 2, 2013
Ocean56 wrote:
For anyone who wants to believe the story of the woman who deeply REGRETS becoming a mother is an anomaly, here's another story.
**********
http://www.cafemom.com/journals/read/694465/I...
I hate motherhood
Jan. 11, 2008 at 1:10am
by Beba2m
"Why is it that we are conned into thinking that motherhood is a blissful, satisfying, and rewarding blessing? I attend a mothers group for young mothers and the other day one of the social workers asked..."Who hates being a mom?" Everyone looked at each other as if they were afraid of the question and that admitting to it is a mortal sin. My hand shot up. After a year of being a mother I can't hate it more. It just prevents me being truly happy. I know some women out there have invested time and money into having a child and think its the most glorious and officious thing in the world. But I think that from little girls we are brain washed into thinking that being a mother is what our duty is. Its evident by the toys marketed towards girls: baby dolls that poop and pee with their carriages, little tiny kitchens, even vacuum and broom sets. JESUS!
Needless to say my pregnancy was unplanned and unwanted. I was 21, unmarried, and still in college with hopes of attending medical school. I dreaded being pregnant and the permanent scars it would leave on my already flawed body. I thought that once I had the baby I would love being a mother and a wife. The truth is I hate it. I couldn't love my child anymore, his smile touches a part of my heart that no one else can, but I don't like being his mother.
It is just a burden I don't want to deal with at this point of my life. The feeding, the changing, the constant neediness, which I know will perpetuate until the day I die. I decided to breastfeed him and still do and regret every day I decided to do this. It has been 14mo since he was born and I still have no ownership of my body. I have tried to ween him, but he become unbearable.
Before having him I was a straight A student, active in school, and I held up to two jobs. Now its seems I can't get my shit straight. My grades would be more that satisfactory for other students, but they just don't cut it for me. I feel like I have to choose between my dreams, and being a good mother, which isn't fair.
I have all the love and support from my husband, but its not enough because I feel like a failure, like I've failed myself. All these emotions have just turned into anger, and its just boiling inside of me because its turned into hate. I can't control my anger anymore. I can't stand being alone all day with my son. He wants to be all over me and all I want is my space. I try to play with him, but I'd rather be elsewhere. I feel like I have to give and give and give, but in return nothing.
To make things worse, I'm totally isolated. My mother lives in an other state. All my friends graduated 2 years ago and moved on with their lives. I have no friends I can relate to, even when I'm at school. I just feel thrusted into a position where I had no say, and I was pushed into it "because it was the right thing to do".
Now I'm filled with regrets, morn the loss of the life and the person that I was (which I really liked) and feel all alone in life. I hate being a mother. I hate my life. Most of all I hate what I've become. "
Sounds like she doesn't love herself. So I guess that makes her incapable of loving her son.
Largelanguage

Chester, UK

#881 Jan 2, 2013
Ocean56 wrote:
<quoted text>
WOW. Are you really so deluded that you think I may feel inferior to YOU? Not a chance, pal, but you're free to believe whatever nonsense you want.
Funny how the only friends you have seem to be women. Chances are you probably have daddy issues.
Ocean56

AOL

#882 Jan 2, 2013
Largelanguage wrote:
Sounds like she doesn't love herself. So I guess that makes her incapable of loving her son.
That's YOUR perception, which doesn't surprise me. Personally, I think this woman was PRESSURED to have children by family and/or religious community, and she bought the whole "motherhood is a blessing, no matter what" ideology. It obviously never occurred to her that she could simply reject the motherhood mandate and feel no regrets about THAT.

This sad story and others like are just proof that the "mothers never regret having their children" MYTH is just that.

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