Kids will ruin your life
Ocean56

AOL

#163 Sep 5, 2013
Jeff Davis wrote:
A little of both it sucks and I miss my freedom I use to have. I had to sale my sports car and now I consistently live paycheck to paycheck. And now my wife nags more than ever if I could go back in time I would.
I'm sorry; and believe it or not, I sympathize. When people become parents, they DO lose all the freedom they used to have in abundance, contrary to what they may have been led to BELIEVE by those who had a pro-baby agenda. I hope you don't have TOO many children, I made the decision for myself to stop at ONE. Being what I call a "done after one" mom has made being a parent much easier. And I had considerable pressure from former in-laws to "have another baby, what's one more?" after DS started school full-time, but thankfully I was able to resist it.

Your kind of unhappy situation is why I believe it is vital that both partners discuss the "kids or no kids" question thoroughly long before marriage is even considered, let alone taken place. If one partner knows he or she doesn't ever want children and the other partner does, then it ISN'T a good idea for the particular couple to get married. Sooner or later, the kids issue will end the marriage, it's just a matter of time.

Unfortunately, in your case, it is now too late. I would just say that you should probably take serious precautions to make sure another pregnancy is avoided. How you do that is up to you.
kdh

Makawao, HI

#164 Sep 25, 2013
Realist wrote:
Kids are useless and annoying. They drain every will you have to live right out of you. If you have a kid, expect your life to be over. You will no longer be able to enjoy any aspect of what your life was or could have been. Your current life will turn into a living hell full of monetary losses and extreme depression. Anyone who says they love their children are lying. If you don't believe me, walk through your local mall on a friday or saturday and just observe people with kids. If they are not yelling at them or trying to rationalize a simplicity that there juvenile(inferior) minds can not comprehend, they will still have that look of emptiness and depression in there eyes because their kids have drained every bit of happiness they use to have out of them. If i can reach one person with my comment and keep them from having kids, then i have saved a life. I just wish everybody realized how personally destructive having kids is..... The world would be a much better place.
There would be no world to be a better place if no one ever had children. The human race would be no more. Maybe it would have been wise for your parents to think twice.
kdh

Makawao, HI

#165 Sep 25, 2013
There would be no one in the world for it to be a better place; the human race would be no more if everyone took your advice. Maybe your parents would have been wise to think twice.
Ocean56

AOL

#166 Sep 26, 2013
kdh wrote:
There would be no one in the world for it to be a better place; the human race would be no more if everyone took your advice. Maybe your parents would have been wise to think twice.
Personally, it is wise for EVERY person, woman or man, to do some serious thinking about becoming a parent, whether that person is planning to get married or not.

If the person decides that parenthood ISN'T a desirable life choice, then she/he needs to make it very clear to ANY person she/he dates that children are NOT going to be part of any future relationship. If that's a big problem for any partner of a childfree person, then it would be a good idea to simply end the relationship.

Couples who get married without thoroughly discussing -- and resolving -- the "kids or no kids" question first are far more likely to get divorced later on, which isn't good for either partner. Couples who are on the same page about NOT having kids and who know that BEFORE getting married are more likely to have happy, successful, and long-term marriages.
fug kids

Roswell, GA

#167 Oct 6, 2013
My kids are the reason I lost a six figure income and become a passive aggressive husband who lashes out at everyone from lack of sex in a DESTROYED marriage. The devel himself was pressed out of my wife's snizz. He tricked me with grandiose misconceptions and aspirations. He is a tricky son of a bitch who drools, screams, reminda me of my flaws on a daily basis yet never stops eating my paycheck. The day my son was born was the fist time I ever shot up a spoonful of cocaine and heroin. Now I have a 4 gram a day habbit to cope with a nagging wife and screaming ungrateful little shit. I wish I could shake them both to induce brain death, however that gloriously short window of opportunity has passed. I should have pistoned his soft spot with my thumb like an apple pie when I had the chance. Then I would have had a retarded kid to match my retarded fucking monotonous wife. I still piolet commercial jets for six figures but it all goes into my kids mouth and up my arms. Maybe one day I'll fix up a big enough shot in the cockpit that I nod off into a firey oblivion and never have to return home.

Amen.
ShinyPorygon5

Strasburg, VA

#168 Oct 11, 2013
Wow. You're all retarded if you think having children sucks.

First of all, where would you all be if your parents decided to not have children? That's right, you wouldn't be here today.
Second, if everyone followed your insane plan and decided to never have children, then everything would be great, right? Not really. The entirety of the human population would decrease slowly, and the human race would become extinct. Such an awesome plan.
And as for all of you parents on here, who are complaining about having kids, feel free to shut the hell up and find a new home for your children. You all think they act bad, but they obviously aren't being parented well, due to your irresponsibility and idiocy which they LEARNED from YOU, I'm guessing.
So think of yourself as the child, which I might add you were also at one point, and imagine if your parents were the ones who acted like you all.
God, I really hope the majority of you are trolling, because this is just sad.
Ocean56

AOL

#169 Oct 12, 2013
ShinyPorygon5 wrote:
Wow. You're all retarded if you think having children sucks.
First of all, where would you all be if your parents decided to not have children? That's right, you wouldn't be here today.
Second, if everyone followed your insane plan and decided to never have children, then everything would be great, right? Not really. The entirety of the human population would decrease slowly, and the human race would become extinct. Such an awesome plan.
And as for all of you parents on here, who are complaining about having kids, feel free to shut the hell up and find a new home for your children. You all think they act bad, but they obviously aren't being parented well, due to your irresponsibility and idiocy which they LEARNED from YOU, I'm guessing.
So think of yourself as the child, which I might add you were also at one point, and imagine if your parents were the ones who acted like you all.
God, I really hope the majority of you are trolling, because this is just sad.
This kind of parental regret is often what happens when people were PRESSURED into parenthood by family or religious community and didn't have the will to resist that pressure and tell the nosy parkers to mind their own business.

I think the question of whether or not a person really WANTS kids needs to be considered and resolved, either yes or no, long before a marriage even takes place. There's absolutely nothing wrong with thinking long and hard about the hardships of parenting, even though there are those who believe "thinking too much" about it is not a good thing.

People who know they never want children are making the wise and responsible choice NOT to have them. And they need to make this very clear to folks who try to pressure them into parenthood, even if they have to say NO to having kids several times.

Emily

Rotterdam, Netherlands

#170 Oct 12, 2013
Shame there are so many trolls on here because this is a really important topic.

The pressure people are under to produce children is insane. There are 3 very serious genetic disorders running in my family and I happen to be a carrier for all 3. I made the decision years ago to not have children, which I think is the smart choice to make for someone in my situation. And yet my family do not accept my choice.

I want everyone who is reading this thread to think about the following: have you ever heard a happy parent pressuring another person to procreate? Me neither. The people who pressure others to have kids are usually unhappy parents who bitterly regret their own choices. Misery loves company after all. Happy, well-adjusted parents have a live-and-let-live attitude towards those who don't want kids.

Another thing people who are on the fence need to realize: the people who pressure you into having kids will not help you with anything related to your baby once he/she is born. Trust me on this, I've seen it happen so many times.
Ocean56

AOL

#171 Oct 12, 2013
Emily wrote:
1. I want everyone who is reading this thread to think about the following: have you ever heard a happy parent pressuring another person to procreate? Me neither. The people who pressure others to have kids are usually unhappy parents who bitterly regret their own choices. Misery loves company after all. Happy, well-adjusted parents have a live-and-let-live attitude towards those who don't want kids.
2. Another thing people who are on the fence need to realize: the people who pressure you into having kids will not help you with anything related to your baby once he/she is born. Trust me on this, I've seen it happen so many times.
1. So very true! I'm what I call a "done after one" mom. I am very content with the decision to stop at just one child, and have never had any regrets. I have, however, had a lot of pressure in the past from former in-laws who kept insisting that I "should" have another baby after DS started school full-time. I told them several times, politely and at times not so politely, that my having any more children WASN'T going to happen.

I have several members of my family, both living and now deceased, who are/were childfree, and I've never tried to pressure them about it. Thankfully, they never tried pressure me into having more children either. I'm sorry that some of your family members haven't graciously accepted your choice.

2. This is spot-on target as well, although the folks who do the pressuring on family or friends to have kids conveniently leave that little fact OUT of the parenthood sales pitch.
youdisgustme

Woodbridge, VA

#173 Oct 23, 2013
For all you people griping about how much you regret and hate your children, I legitimately hope they read this. And once you're old and incapacitated I hope they drop you off at the nearest nursing home and never look back. No one held a gun to your head and told you to have children. Sure you may have been "pressured". But ultimately you were the ones who laid down and banged. Even as a person who doesn't want children, I am disgusted by a lot of these comments. I feel sorry for your children who've had the misfortune of being born to selfish parents who could care less about them.
Unknown

Pflugerville, TX

#175 Jan 2, 2014
You guys are immature to hate kids like that.
You guys were all once like that. In fact we all were. Join the club.
Kenzie

Mansfield, TX

#176 Jan 22, 2014
Realist wrote:
Kids are useless and annoying. They drain every will you have to live right out of you. If you have a kid, expect your life to be over. You will no longer be able to enjoy any aspect of what your life was or could have been. Your current life will turn into a living hell full of monetary losses and extreme depression. Anyone who says they love their children are lying. If you don't believe me, walk through your local mall on a friday or saturday and just observe people with kids. If they are not yelling at them or trying to rationalize a simplicity that there juvenile(inferior) minds can not comprehend, they will still have that look of emptiness and depression in there eyes because their kids have drained every bit of happiness they use to have out of them. If i can reach one person with my comment and keep them from having kids, then i have saved a life. I just wish everybody realized how personally destructive having kids is..... The world would be a much better place.
I completely agree with you. The majority of people with children are in debt, exhausted and complain more than any of my childless friends. I used to want kids until I saw how it affected my friends first hand. Glad I didn't make the biggest mistake of my life and have one.
Andres

Port Jefferson, NY

#177 Jan 27, 2014
As maudlin I feel composing these words, I must zealously agree with these inspiring albeit "read too late" posts. I just had a child 6 months ago. I never wanted children and knew perfectly well it would ruin everything. Be that as it may, my wife conveyed to me if we failed to have children due to my objection, there was a chance she would leave me. I acquiesced and sure enough, I am more miserable then you will ever know. We had a wonderful relationship, traveled extensively, spent mornings in our hot tub... Now the ghastly reality seems like a recurring Machiavellian nightmare, one day worst then the next. I shudder my head sometimes hoping that the incubus will cease. There are moments of sporadic happiness but they are duecedly quelled by bouts of sleep deprivation and blighted by the prospects of financial uncertainty. I have no doubt that parenting is perfect for some, I'll even venture to say it may be rewarding. It is however NOT for all. I rue the day I agreed to this disastrous spell and spend every moment regretting certain idiotic steps I took which lead me to this ineluctable and eternal morass (actually not eternal, I will die one day and thankfully it will be over.) Please do not confuse my own personal regret with a lapidary statement enforcing child abstention. This is my own personal voyage and subsequent irreversible tragedy. I caution anyone who is pondering the notion of having children to study it with great profundity. Please don't let anyone callously inveigle you into such a decision, its never a fait accompli, you always have the right and the time to think about it. I can only depart by elucidating one more observation, the level of ardent fervour which has been poured into these posts by people experiencing intractable remourse. That should tell you something...
Confused 63

Hauppauge, NY

#178 Feb 7, 2014
I am 50 and a healthy male. At 29yrs old was dating control freak that had it al planned. I am pumping out 4 kids and I am no longer working, so you had better get a good job! Meanwhile s he w as a microbiologist making big bucks! She wanted to take my life away! So I bailed. Then I was dating a girl who would only let me touch her if we married and her Mom would follow us all over the place?! I bailed out of that too. Now at 50, I hear my Mom say, "I will never have a grandchild to hold?!" :-(. Meanwhile, my older brother now deceased was a junkie and my sister refuses to have ever have kids. Should I feel guilty?
agreed humans are a pox

Antigonish, Canada

#179 Feb 13, 2014
watching my life be sucked away day by day now children will kill you.
Fact once the male has reproduced his life span dramatically shortens. due to pure suck that is life afterwards
RiAlDu

Long Beach, NY

#180 Feb 14, 2014
The difficulty in raising a child is trying to take care of your child and take care of yourself at the same time. It is nearly impossible to do both well at the same time. And if you are like me, a type "A" parent, who wants the best for and expects the best from your child, you are going to have to put yourself aside. If you are going to have children, it will greatly help your cause if you raise them in a community that will meet your needs regarding your child's upbringing. The right environment will at least help in some regard in your attempt to educate and cultivate your child's intellect, values and demeanor. Otherwise your are swimming upstream, and can be very frustrating to see your child drag home stupid shit they learn-or fail to learn. To sacrifice your potential as a person for your child is one thing, but to not see the return on your sacrifices is quite another. It is infuriating, Don't have your sacrifice be made meaningless by a mediocre community.
Delusional

Gilbert, AZ

#181 Mar 6, 2014
I came from a broken family and wanted to have the "buck stop here". I wanted to start a family with a model of caring for each other and we'd go from there.
Big mistake.
What "you" think can happen with a new person and your beliefs will most likely be ironic. They will HATE everything you try to teach them.
They will "HATE" your food, your very existence ... especially in this current so-called culture of... "I is cool to hate your parents".
I finally gave up.
There was absolutely... and I mean ABSOLUTELY NOTHINGI can do.
My daughter fought us since birth.
Now that she is 17, it is even more awful. She NEVER EVER wanted to do anything with us. No Frisbee in the park, no bike rides... acts like she hates us all the time.
She doesn't have a plan, couldn't care less about figuring out her future... Doesn't listen when we try to tell her how to cook, clean, and car for herself... Actually hates us for what?
Do NOT spawn children in this world right now. The environment is poison.
Even if you do your best to raise a decent person, the environment is sick. They will ALWAYS go listen to their peers more than you, and guess what device has dissolved the parent more than ever... The smartphone!
Don't do it.
Allchildrenleftb ehind

Salt Lake City, UT

#182 Mar 8, 2014
Confused 63 wrote:
I am 50 and a healthy male. At 29yrs old was dating control freak that had it al planned. I am pumping out 4 kids and I am no longer working, so you had better get a good job! Meanwhile s he w as a microbiologist making big bucks! She wanted to take my life away! So I bailed. Then I was dating a girl who would only let me touch her if we married and her Mom would follow us all over the place?! I bailed out of that too. Now at 50, I hear my Mom say, "I will never have a grandchild to hold?!" :-(. Meanwhile, my older brother now deceased was a junkie and my sister refuses to have ever have kids. Should I feel guilty?
Don't feel guilty, don't throw your life away because your mom wants a grandkid.
Do not be pressured to have a child. I recommend finalizing this proposition by getting a vasectomy. Even if you have the best child east of the
Mississippi, you are looking at losing on average of $250,000 until they are 18 and graduated from high school. Lets not even start looking at college. And you will be 68 by the time they graduate, all of your retirement will be drained. Unless you are at least a millionaire ( actually having $1,000,000 in a CD that you have access to at least every six months) a child will completely drain you monetarily, not to mention physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I told my Mom straight up at the age of 20 that I was not going to have children. She did not like it, but at least she knew my expectations and she stopped asking about it.
Allchildrenleftb ehind

Salt Lake City, UT

#183 Mar 8, 2014
Why are the biggest idiots always the most fertile?
Niome

Lincoln, NE

#184 Mar 15, 2014
no children= societal devolution

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