Kids will ruin your life

Kids will ruin your life

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TdOff

Clarksville, TN

#1 Jun 2, 2010
Don't have any kids unless you're ready to throw your life away. Or if you really have to have one, just have ONE. You can usually recover from that pretty fairly. But when you hit 2 or more it becomes regret. They suck the living life out of you and you become an old fart that has nothing to live for. You give up ambitions and dreams and they find ways to cut you down. Kids suck.

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“BSL is BS!”

Since: Feb 09

Location hidden

#2 Jun 3, 2010
Does this come from experience?
fate

Cheyenne, WY

#3 Jul 1, 2010
OMG PLZ NEVER TALK ABOUT THAT U WERE A KID ONCE OMG im A TEEN AND MY MOM AND DAD ARE FINE NOT SOME LIKE YOU GOD
Ocean56

AOL

#4 Jul 4, 2010
Tdoff wrote:
Don't have any kids unless you're ready to throw your life away. Or if you really have to have one, just have ONE. You can usually recover from that pretty fairly. But when you hit 2 or more it becomes regret. They suck the living life out of you and you become an old fart that has nothing to live for. You give up ambitions and dreams and they find ways to cut you down. Kids suck.

**********

Well, I'd say this is quite extreme. There are many people who don't want children, and there's NOTHING wrong with the choice NOT to parent. I have two childfree members of my own family, and they are the nicest people you'd want to meet.

The way I see it, serious problems and regrets DO arise when a person who may not really want kids caves in to pressure from family, friends or religious community to have them anyway. The only way to fight against that kind of pressure to conform is to resist it at all times. It doesn't have to be done rudely. All a person has to do is to politely tell those who are pressuring them that having kids or not is HER/HIS choice, and no one else's.

Last but certainly not least, make sure BEFORE getting into a serious dating relationship or marriage with anyone that you tell a potential partner that you don't EVER want children. If they have a real problem with that, the best thing to do is end the relationship, and find a potential partner who also wants to be childfree.

As for me, I knew my limitations, and had only ONE child by choice. He is almost 19 years old now, and a terrific young man. I also had pressure, to have two or more children, and I told the nosy parkers politely but firmly to BACK OFF.
Realist

Chipley, FL

#5 Dec 13, 2010
Kids are useless and annoying. They drain every will you have to live right out of you. If you have a kid, expect your life to be over. You will no longer be able to enjoy any aspect of what your life was or could have been. Your current life will turn into a living hell full of monetary losses and extreme depression. Anyone who says they love their children are lying. If you don't believe me, walk through your local mall on a friday or saturday and just observe people with kids. If they are not yelling at them or trying to rationalize a simplicity that there juvenile(inferior) minds can not comprehend, they will still have that look of emptiness and depression in there eyes because their kids have drained every bit of happiness they use to have out of them. If i can reach one person with my comment and keep them from having kids, then i have saved a life. I just wish everybody realized how personally destructive having kids is..... The world would be a much better place.

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Ocean56

AOL

#6 Dec 14, 2010
Realist wrote:
Kids are useless and annoying. They drain every will you have to live right out of you. If you have a kid, expect your life to be over. You will no longer be able to enjoy any aspect of what your life was or could have been. Your current life will turn into a living hell full of monetary losses and extreme depression. Anyone who says they love their children are lying. If you don't believe me, walk through your local mall on a friday or saturday and just observe people with kids. If they are not yelling at them or trying to rationalize a simplicity that there juvenile(inferior) minds can not comprehend, they will still have that look of emptiness and depression in there eyes because their kids have drained every bit of happiness they use to have out of them. If i can reach one person with my comment and keep them from having kids, then i have saved a life. I just wish everybody realized how personally destructive having kids is..... The world would be a much better place.
There are a lot of childfree folks out there who feel the same way you do. That's why they don't have kids and never will, and that is a wise choice for them. Having one or more kids just because some nosy people tell you (generally speaking) that you "should," when you know you don't really want to be a parent will very likely lead to regret and possibly resentment. That resentment can take the form of neglect, abuse, and even murder of children. Casey Anthony in FL is a perfect example.

As I said previously said, I had one child by choice, who is now a young adult. I remain very happy with my decision. I know I would have had the same attitude you do if I had not listened to my gut instincts and had one or two more kids just because some idiots told me I'm "supposed to." My feeling is, if you have any doubts about parenting, or you know you DON'T want kids, then don't do it, no matter what anyone says.
Mark

Myrtle Beach, SC

#7 Dec 29, 2010
I 100% Agree, Having a Child will RUIN your life. I cannot understand why so many people want to have kids.

I've been married for 9 years and I told my wife RIGHT FROM THE START that I did NOT EVER want to be a dad. I made it REAL CLEAR from DAY ONE. At first my wife was like "why not" but as I pointed out the various problems brought on by becoming a parent, how having kids is pushed on people by Pressure from Society, how having kids forces you to work till your 65 and blow all your money on them. How having children RUINS A WOMANS BODY and can even KILL HER if she is small in size. She began to see my point. Like most women, she had just been spoon feed the Brainwashing of society that tells every single woman she MUST become a mother. Today my wife is SO THANKFUL that she did not have any kids because we will be able to retire at age 45 in a few years and never work again for the rest of our lives. We can travel the world or just relax and enjoy Peace and Quiet with NO KIDS to Call us up and ask for money or tell us they got pregnant to some criminal.

Thank GOD I never had kids!!

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10 Reasons for NO KIDS

Myrtle Beach, SC

#8 Dec 29, 2010
20 Reasons Not to Have Children

1. Birth. Imagine pushing a grapefruit through your anus. Imagine it taking ten hours. Imagine that after ten hours of trying to push a grapefruit through your anus and failing that doctors cut a big hole in your belly to remove the grapefruit. Don’t believe anyone who says that they forget all about it in a few months.

2. Responsibility. All of life’s prior responsibilities pale in comparison. If you decide to have a child, that new person must absolutely be your top priority. As your child will remind you when he or she is older and something goes wrong,“I didn’t ask to be born.” A child is a life long commitment to a person who is innocent of this choice.

3. Diapers. Disposable diapers these days absorb lots of liquid, and they don’t leak. But you still have to change hundreds of them. Often they contain more than liquid. As the child gets older, diapers become smellier and bigger tasks. Then there is toilet training, with its inevitable setbacks and accidents.

4. 3am wakeups. Caring for a child takes a lot of physical and emotional energy, made all the harder by babies that only sleep for ninety minutes at a time. Many parents of much older children seem to forget how hard the first few months were as they look at the past with rose colored glasses. Don’t believe them. Parents need sleep to work well, and they often can’t get it.

5. Hard on marriages. A baby takes so much time and attention that spouses must already have a great friendship and work well together before the baby arrives. It is a certainty that one spouse will disagree with the other about decisions on how to care for the child. It is likely that one spouse will resent the lost time with the other. A marriage with some difficulties will get much worse when a baby is crying and the parents are sleep deprived.

6. Advice. Total strangers leap forward to offer advice about how to raise your child. Most of the advice is contradictory and flat out wrong. Strangers will be much easier to ignore than your friends and family, many of whom have raised children quite successfully. Some advice you may want, but lots of it will be unsolicited and unappreciated.

7. Changed relationships. When your family expands by the addition of a child, your relationships with everyone, and I mean everyone, changes. Your child is at the forefront of most of your thoughts, and those people without children cannot relate. Those people with children are finally happy to see that you can relate. Everyone will watch how you raise your child and will at some point cluck and disapprove, including those who raised ten children and those who raised none. Some strong bonds will weaken, some friends will not been seen again. Some may improve, but with your energies and devotions directed towards your child, that is much less likely.

8. Free time. You will have none. Most time not spent with your child will be spent catching up on work you need to get done. You and your spouse must carefully plan any time away from your child, and very little can be done spontaneously. To pretend otherwise is probably neglectful of either your child or your spouse.

9. Worry. Parents always worry about their children, monitoring how fast they reach each milestone and how well they grow, eat, sleep, crawl, walk, read, make friends, and so on. And yet there is little a parent can do beyond allow a child to proceed at his or her own pace. It can be frustrating and scary when your child isn’t eating well, or cannot read at his or her grade level, or is socially inept.

10. Money. Children are expensive in several ways. One parent loses wages while caring for a child. Children need to eat and be clothed. They need toys with which to explore the world. They need health care, they need education, they need activities and hobbies. They will need car insurance. The proper raising of a child is not cheap.

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A Few More Reasons

Myrtle Beach, SC

#9 Dec 29, 2010
11. Laundry. Children do not contribute to household chores until they are older, and even then they generate more work than labor. Having a child means that your living space will need more cleaning than before, not only as your child makes a mess of it but also because you cannot let your child crawl around in dust and dirt.
12. Tantrums. Many times you will tell your child that they cannot have what they want, and they will scream to get you to change your mind. You will need to avoid saying “no” as much as possible, but then stick to your decision when you do. Otherwise you will encourage tantrums. However, younger children cry because that is the only way they have to express themselves, and you need to be attentive. It becomes difficult judging when a child is having a serious problem and when he or she is having a tantrum. Tantrums are not just for two-year-old children, they will continue for years in many different forms as your child will attempt to change your mind.
13. Rebellion. Children need to assert their independence and individuality. All will feel stifled in some way by their parents or other authority figures, and they will attempt to subvert the dominant hegemony. Didn’t you? It usually isn’t pretty.
14. Dissonance. Lots of adults do not get along with their parents. Perhaps they forget all the work that their parents put into raising them, or perhaps they resent that the work that their parents did was not enough. At some point your child will probably be very angry with you, and may even hate you for years. This is not uncommon, and you know it because you can name a dozen people who don’t get along with their own parents.
15. Pain. Your child will cry and you won’t know why or how to fix it. You will mess up and let your child get hurt. You won’t be there and your child will get hurt. Your child will get really sick. Your child will fail at something and feel humiliated and worthless. Guaranteed. The world is a hard place on everyone, especially small, naive, fragile people.
16. 6 billion. The world is already overpopulated. Do you really have to add to it? Do not answer this question lightly. Every new human draws on our limited resources, tramples over previously undamaged land, creates more waste, and accelerates worldwide instability.
17. Failed expectations. You may expect your child to be interested in things that fascinate you, and then be disappointed. You may be brilliant and your child may be dull. You may be athletic, unhappy to discover that your child has trouble walking a straight line. Your child may abandon your religion or main beliefs. Your child may grow up to be someone you have very little in common with. In fact, your child will definitely not be a little version of you. Any thoughts about what kind of person you want your child to be are wasted thoughts, and probably detrimental.
18. Lost freedom. People without children can easily pack up and move. They can be without work or change careers. They can break up with their partners and find new ones. Children, while often flexible, must be accounted for in all major life changes. In fact, they demand that the world not change around them so fast while their own understanding of the world grows and changes at the same time. Stability and routine allows a child to explore life from a vantage of safety and consistency. You must be willing to give your child such stability at the cost of your own freedom.
19. Hard work. Raising a child takes more than love and time. You must concentrate on all methods of communication that your child attempts so that you may properly understand his or her needs and wants. You must introduce your child to new stimulation and situations regularly. You have to figure out best ways to teach your child at each age, what to teach them, and when to teach. You must be available and responsive to your child even when you are tired or sad or very busy.
Ocean56

AOL

#10 Apr 22, 2011
I'd recommend the last two posts to anyone who is "on the fence" about having children. Too many couples listen to family members who want them to have kids no matter WHAT. And couples who might never have wanted kids listen to them and then live to regret it later.

Having the negatives listed in this way can help many indecisive folks decide they DON'T want kids without feeling guilty for that decision. Thanks for posting the last two messages so honestly.:)
Ocean56

AOL

#11 Apr 22, 2011
I forgot to add that the points made in posts #8 and #9 were precisely why I had just ONE child by choice. I never had to go through any of that again, and I was very glad I didn't.:)
SC dad

Scotts Valley, CA

#12 May 16, 2011
Damn! Can I get a friggen refund??? The he'll with these kids!
Eel Bowel

Northfield, OH

#13 Sep 26, 2011
Having kids sucks. They destroy every thing you have. Your marriage goes to sh1t. No sex. All your money is gone. Your car is turned into a f_cking garbage can on wheels. Your house is FUBARed. You turn into an alcoholic to manage the stress. Absolute misery... don't do it.
Believe it

Robertsdale, AL

#14 Nov 15, 2011
Yep... My retarded wife never took into account that having a child would put strain on us financially. She squeezed out my crappy son and guess what. I am no longer in school persuing my college education. I am working my ass off and coming home to a bitch and a whiny little shit. I am only 22 and I know I cannot live my dreams. I am struggling to maintain financial stability, and I am forced to care for a child I didn't even want. It's a very horrible life for me. So, do not have a kid/kids.
Casey Anthony

Atlanta, GA

#15 Nov 19, 2011
Kids... who needs 'em!?
Mr Smartypants

United States

#16 Nov 20, 2011
I have a mild form of bipolar disorder (cyclothymia), but it seemed obvious to me even at an early age that I shouldn't become a parent. What really blows my mind is seeing people who are terminally screwed up--alcoholism, family history of incest, abuse, mental illness, long rap sheet, etc.--having kids even though they haven't a prayer of a chance of raising decent, well-adjusted offspring. What's worse is that these idiots aren't just raising maladjusted kids, they're making their own lives needlessly difficult--it's hard to do meth when you have to go and buy diapers...
Joselyn

Kanata, Canada

#17 Dec 21, 2011
Kids due pretty much mean the end of your life.
And if you have doubts or don't want them then you really should not have them. There are too many people out there who are parents and shouldn't be.

98% of the time it's horrible, and you'll wonder if maybe you should have just had your tubes tied.
But then there are these brief moments where it almost seems worth it.
And when your kids aren't around its the good moments you remember, not the bad. Usually atleast.

But even if you do have kids, wait. Live your life first.
Ocean56

AOL

#18 Dec 23, 2011
Believe it wrote:
Yep... My retarded wife never took into account that having a child would put strain on us financially. She squeezed out my crappy son and guess what. I am no longer in school persuing my college education. I am working my ass off and coming home to a bitch and a whiny little shit. I am only 22 and I know I cannot live my dreams. I am struggling to maintain financial stability, and I am forced to care for a child I didn't even want. It's a very horrible life for me. So, do not have a kid/kids.
I'm just curious, did you ever tell your wife long BEFORE you got married that you DON'T want children and never will? I'm not trying to start an argument here. Having kids definitely puts a huge financial strain on a couple, no doubt about that.

The "kids or no kids" question is one that I think should be discussed repeatedly between a couple while they are in the early stages of DATING, before marriage is even considered. And yet, so many couples neglect to do this, and then have constant problems over it after marriage, as you are now. Did you have any kind of discussion about it while you were dating, and if you said absolutely NOT on kids, did she pretend to be okay with it then "oops" you after you both got married?

This is one of the many reasons why I think teens and young adults would be better off not having any partnered sexual activity until AFTER they've completed high school and all their higher educational goals besides. They'd also be better off not getting married before the age of 25, so this kind of sad scenario doesn't happen.

If you're sure you never want any MORE kids, do yourself a favor and get a vasectomy done as soon as you possibly can, and make sure it's a procedure that can't be naturally reversed (some can).
Ocean56

AOL

#19 Dec 23, 2011
Joselyn wrote:
Kids do pretty much mean the end of your life.
And if you have doubts or don't want them then you really should not have them. There are too many people out there who are parents and shouldn't be.
98% of the time it's horrible, and you'll wonder if maybe you should have just had your tubes tied.
But then there are these brief moments where it almost seems worth it.
I would say that anyone who is either undecided or just unwilling to have children needs to find a good childfree support forum to "meet" with those who are also childfree by choice. Contrary to what some may believe, there are a LOT more people who don't want kids than you may think.

Check out "childfree discussion forums" by doing a Google search. You should be able to find one or two of them that will meet your needs.

Since: Nov 11

Location hidden

#20 Dec 23, 2011
I have a daughter in her late 30's who left home at 18 and moved to another state because she wanted an exciting life of her own. She took up with a drug dealer and lived high for awhile until the bottom fell out.

Since then, she's lived in homeless shelters and has nothing to show for her wasted years.

The disappointment we felt almost ruined our lives, but we've learned to let go of it and move on.

The life she ruined the most was her own.

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