Divorce study plays down damage to th...

Divorce study plays down damage to the children

There are 138 comments on the TwinCities.com story from Apr 25, 2008, titled Divorce study plays down damage to the children. In it, TwinCities.com reports that:

For years, social scientists have believed children of divorce have had more behavior problems than kids growing up in two-parent homes.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at TwinCities.com.

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WHAT

Bayfield, WI

#1 Apr 26, 2008
No Wonder!!!??? Only the Mothers were interviewed!! What about all the studies and data that has been collected by Health and Human Services??
Choices

Saint Paul, MN

#2 Apr 26, 2008
So two parents supporting each other in the raising of the child(ren) isn't any better for children than one maxed out/harried single income parent relying on child care, earned income tax cedits and babysitters?

The decrease of fathers in the home has resulted in an increase in the most destructive forms of gang activity among all racial groups but especially minorities. And this is o.k.?

Here's my common sense study of your study - you're wrong.
Meh

Saint Paul, MN

#3 Apr 26, 2008
Choices wrote:
So two parents supporting each other in the raising of the child(ren) isn't any better for children than one maxed out/harried single income parent relying on child care, earned income tax cedits and babysitters?
The decrease of fathers in the home has resulted in an increase in the most destructive forms of gang activity among all racial groups but especially minorities. And this is o.k.?
Here's my common sense study of your study - you're wrong.
They aren't saying that. What they are saying is that kids do better off living in a single parent home than a home with two parents who are unhappy, miserable and fighting all of the time.

Since: Apr 08

Twin Cities

#5 Apr 26, 2008
One fact that goes underlooked, is that 'divorce' does not automatically mean the child/ren is reduced to one overburdened parent. I'd like to see some statistics on remarriages and families where both parents as well as stepparents are factored in.
Tybalt

Saint Paul, MN

#6 Apr 26, 2008
i think we've heard this before. And its been debunked before. There are some who believe easy divorce is liberating for women, so they look for ways to justify it.
Randy

United States

#7 Apr 26, 2008
What a horrible article. How can you say divorce has no effect when you only survey mothers. What about the father? How about giving him the survey. I can guarantee that the outcome would be different. How many mother lied on this survey just to make them look good? You can bet many.

Studies show that when both parents are equally involved with their children (after divorce), that those same children are three times as likely to be successful and not in trouble with the law compared to mother only households. This study done by Allen Li was a complete sham and simply cannot be taken seriously.
Lee

Maple Grove, MN

#8 Apr 26, 2008
This is another classic example of how the left and the media want the drooling masses to believe that a father is optional.

Since: Apr 08

Twin Cities

#9 Apr 26, 2008
BillB St Paul wrote:
Humans are humans whereever.
Yes, yes, yes they are! Bless you, BillB!
mary miller

Minneapolis, MN

#10 Apr 26, 2008
This study seems one sided . Are these custodial moms who maybe don't want
the masses to know how their children are being affected. Maybe some fear a change of custody or support. Have they released school ,counseling or other pertinent records. I doubt it. Kids need both parents and moms shouldn't be presumed to be the best one to have sole custody. Often times they are not. Wake up people!!!
Terry N

AOL

#11 Apr 26, 2008
The Family Law - Divorce Industry must continue to print this rhetoric. If they don't, then it's likely the Attorney's, legislative bureaucrat's and the entire women's movement would be exposed for using our children as a tool to better the economic status of women. Think about it folks, how many million government jobs are created by the current practice of inflicting conflict between two fit - separating parents?

If someone researches the motives of Allen Li, the associate director of Rand's Population Research Center you're likely to identify their immoral motives!
Jim B

Minneapolis, MN

#12 Apr 26, 2008
This is a very sad statement.
How some try and justify, usually for some type of financial gain, something most resonable people know is wrong. Does the author work for the title 4-D program?
Aren't there new studies showing all the problems kids from single parent households go through?
I'd like to see it listed after each reported crime or "psyc" insident, what type of household the perps. came from. Then the custodial parent could be held responsible.
Good luck out there.
Mad Jack

Maple Grove, MN

#13 Apr 26, 2008
This "study" is pure nonsense. It's not 1972 anymore- everybody knows how harmful divorce and single parenthood is to children.
Mad Jack

Maple Grove, MN

#14 Apr 26, 2008
ZenBirdist wrote:
I'd like to see some statistics on remarriages and families where both parents as well as stepparents are factored in.
There has been plenty of research on this also- in general children are even worse off in remarriages.
mary

Minneapolis, MN

#15 Apr 26, 2008
I'm so sick of this corrupt system. Ramsey County Family Court is the worst. Anyone familiar with Referee Ann Leppanen or GAL Linda Gerr? Totally worthless! Neither of them have any business dealing with children or families. I have the transcripts and all the paperwork to prove it. But unfortunately they are not the only culprits.
Sarah

Minneapolis, MN

#16 Apr 26, 2008
Children learn about marriage through observing their parents. If the parents are bitter with each other, fight always and in general there is always stress and discord in the home, what kind of idea do you think that their children will have of marriage?

I know people who have grown up in those type of families and none of them ever want to get married.
Melissa

Smithtown, NY

#17 Apr 26, 2008
So what do I do? Trying living with a man, the father of my child who mentally and verbally abuses me everyday in front of my three and half year old. I want peace but at what cost? We are all gonna suffer. However, I do not believe it is very healthy for my son to be around this. I do the best that I can and I am a stay at home mom who even as a single mom would not have to work. So I ask myself what do I need this man who proclaims himself to be a "Father" that doesn't pay for anything in my life. This man drags me down and who suffers my son because his mom is unhappy and feels like a hostage in a bank. I want to be ME, my son deserves ME. I sit and think and think which way is worse. He loves his father so much and looks forward to him coming home everyday while I dread it. I am scared to have to answer the questions on where Daddy is, why doesn't he live here anymore and afraid he will blame me for that. I want peace! I believe that every situation is different and it depends on the mother and her strength,morals,and her relationship with her children along with how involved she is in the lives of them.

Consistent

Since: Mar 08

Zimmerman, MN

#18 Apr 26, 2008
Melissa wrote:
So what do I do? Trying living with a man, the father of my child who mentally and verbally abuses me everyday in front of my three and half year old. I want peace but at what cost? We are all gonna suffer. However, I do not believe it is very healthy for my son to be around this. I do the best that I can and I am a stay at home mom who even as a single mom would not have to work. So I ask myself what do I need this man who proclaims himself to be a "Father" that doesn't pay for anything in my life. This man drags me down and who suffers my son because his mom is unhappy and feels like a hostage in a bank. I want to be ME, my son deserves ME. I sit and think and think which way is worse. He loves his father so much and looks forward to him coming home everyday while I dread it. I am scared to have to answer the questions on where Daddy is, why doesn't he live here anymore and afraid he will blame me for that. I want peace! I believe that every situation is different and it depends on the mother and her strength,morals,and her relationship with her children along with how involved she is in the lives of them.
File a Restraining Order,

Git a gal Pal to testify that he is "verbally abusive"(gag),

Allege that he touched his son inappropriately,(coach your child well),

Create a story of how he asked for relations, you said NO!, claim he didnt respect your NO!(rape is perfect claim for Minneeesota womyn, he is verbally abusive after all...must be a pig rapist too...he is automaticaly guilty of this one....male ya no!)

Git some Credit cards in your name without telling him....run um up and use his labor/income to pay um off, ignoring the family "bills",

Call the Government Employees that are "Victim Advocates" (they have all kinds of resources for you poor victims...free too!!),

Shop for a Feminist Judge and a Feminist Persecutor to hear your restraining order,

Thats it, Minnesota Victimology 101.......

Now you will get free or cheap housing,

Your son will get a real cool sensitive fellow for a Big Brother,

You will git almost free college,

You will be a bonafide victim...a member of the sisterhood of The Female Oppressed,(they send out cool plastic credit card type membership cards)

When he gets out of jail you will still get to have all the benefits of his labor...he must support this child ya no!...Dang Dead Beat Dads!!!!,(and he accrued a "balance do" on his ex-wife support..er sorry, child support account..you will get his tax return for forever....it is for the kids ..Keep repeating...it is for the kids)

He is an abuser and he wont even becoming around to see Jr, so you just get all the benefits of his existence with none of the burden.

.....But you deserve all of this ...Why?...because gosh darn it!...you should be Happy :), it is all about you ya no!......

I dont know what a woman can do in Minneeeeesota when she is not happy with the choices she has made. Nobody supports her, she must endure the mean words. She is a joy to be married to and if only he was a better man then it would all be ok. There are no Narsistic womyn out there. Womyn have not had their lives destroyed because of the false Teachings of Feminism.

And our legal system is so Biased for the male Victimizer, that womyn are stuck in a home where, a Male gits upset that she wants to go Bar hoping with her gal pals and then he becomes verbally abusive.

I dont have any answers to help you though maam'.

Life aint fair to you womyn in Minneeeesota!
Betty

Minneapolis, MN

#19 Apr 26, 2008
You are just a horrible excuse for a human being.
Consistent wrote:
<quoted text>
File a Restraining Order,
Git a gal Pal to testify that he is "verbally abusive"(gag),
Allege that he touched his son inappropriately,(coach your child well),
Create a story of how he asked for relations, you said NO!, claim he didnt respect your NO!(rape is perfect claim for Minneeesota womyn, he is verbally abusive after all...must be a pig rapist too...he is automaticaly guilty of this one....male ya no!)
Git some Credit cards in your name without telling him....run um up and use his labor/income to pay um off, ignoring the family "bills",
Call the Government Employees that are "Victim Advocates" (they have all kinds of resources for you poor victims...free too!!),
Shop for a Feminist Judge and a Feminist Persecutor to hear your restraining order,
Thats it, Minnesota Victimology 101.......
Now you will get free or cheap housing,
Your son will get a real cool sensitive fellow for a Big Brother,
You will git almost free college,
You will be a bonafide victim...a member of the sisterhood of The Female Oppressed,(they send out cool plastic credit card type membership cards)
When he gets out of jail you will still get to have all the benefits of his labor...he must support this child ya no!...Dang Dead Beat Dads!!!!,(and he accrued a "balance do" on his ex-wife support..er sorry, child support account..you will get his tax return for forever....it is for the kids ..Keep repeating...it is for the kids)
He is an abuser and he wont even becoming around to see Jr, so you just get all the benefits of his existence with none of the burden.
.....But you deserve all of this ...Why?...because gosh darn it!...you should be Happy :), it is all about you ya no!......
I dont know what a woman can do in Minneeeeesota when she is not happy with the choices she has made. Nobody supports her, she must endure the mean words. She is a joy to be married to and if only he was a better man then it would all be ok. There are no Narsistic womyn out there. Womyn have not had their lives destroyed because of the false Teachings of Feminism.
And our legal system is so Biased for the male Victimizer, that womyn are stuck in a home where, a Male gits upset that she wants to go Bar hoping with her gal pals and then he becomes verbally abusive.
I dont have any answers to help you though maam'.
Life aint fair to you womyn in Minneeeesota!

Consistent

Since: Mar 08

Zimmerman, MN

#20 Apr 26, 2008
Betty wrote:
You are just a horrible excuse for a human being.
<quoted text>
No actually, I created a scenario that is way to common in Minneeeeeesota. I may have taken a leeetle beet of creative license, but there are plenty of males who have been "Real Victims", of eachand everyone of my illustrations.

The only reason that this article exists is to once again say to womyn....."You Can have it All...You are not Responsible for your Choices".(and it aint so bad for your kids after all....Go for It!).

Who has the Humanity issues?
Terry N - Melissa

AOL

#21 Apr 26, 2008
Melissa,

If it's that bad, then perhaps you need to consider a break in your relation/marriage?

But, just because you two parents can't see eye to eye doesn't mean your son should be denied the benefits in life - that only two parents can provide. Additionally it sounds as though money is not an issue with your situation - which is good, now you and Dad can talk openly about each of your needs/concerns absent any financial benefits flighting over custody/control of your child. Said another way, there is no real reason either of you parents needs to involve the courts or child support services while you try to resolve you differences.- Try counseling and keep your son out of it.

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