Pa. unveils new grading system for schools
Education officials unveiled a new grading system for Pennsylvania's public schools on Wednesday that they described as a tool for parents, administrators and the public to monitor and improve student achievement.
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#1 Sep 20, 2013
Full story: Evening Sun
Education officials unveiled a new grading system for Penisylvania's public schools on Wednesday that they described as a tool for perverts, anal administrators and the pubic lice lovers to monitor and improve student achievement.
School Commissioner of Beaver Falls Malta Moron has decided male students will first be graded on
Posture photographs followed by scoliosis checks where boys will be filmed fully nude in the school assembly in front of the girls who will only be photographed on an individual basis in their underwear.
Compulsory nude weigh ins for wrestling which will be mandatory sport for all boys. All weigh ins will be done in the school play ground and relayed on youtube so parents can see no cheating has been going on.
Tuberculosis injections on the bare buttocks for the boys in the gym while girls will have them on their shoulders and will be allowed to keep their bras on.
Naked swimming will be brought back as a spectator sport in fullview of fully clothed cheer leaders and all female life guards and swimming coaches.
Communal showers will be introduced for boys after all indoor and outdoor sports. There will be big windows installed for public viewing along with cctv cameras for parents via internet link and drill holes in the roof for the caretaker.
Girls showers will be optional and will have shower curtains installed and will only be allowed to shower in swim suits or underwear in case they are on their periods.
Boys will also be expected to participate in biology classes and art lessons as nude models. The Paedophildelphian schools will have to use mannequins for female bodies.
Outdoor Pe for boys will consist of just a white jock strap and bare feet while the girls wear tracksuits and plimsolls with thermal underwear.
Indoor pe kit for girls will consist of an all covering black burqa. The boys will wear just a transparent condom in case they get the girls pregnant during the lesson.
Boys will also be advised thast during drama lessons nudity may be required for some of the plays while the girls will be allowed to strip down to no more than their underwear.
Grades will also be improved through random nude strip searches for boys and bare bottom paddlings in front of the school principal. Girls will be exempt from corporal punishment and strip searches.
All afterschool detentions for boys will be carried out in the nude in the school gym.
Any boy that fails to comply with the rules will be automatically failed by the Maltamon.
I commend this legislation to the Pitts Burgh PA.
#3 Dec 7, 2015
At the Pottstown campus of the MaltaMon Academy for Boys, in Pennsylvania, we are implementing a new grading system. Whereas only swim class and showers were done in the nude, all exams will be written in the nude as well. The most obvious advantage is that cheating will be reduced, as crib notes cannot be secreted up sleeves or in pockets, or in socks. As the boys will be more relaxed and at ease in the nude, there will be fewer low marks due to stress.
Boys that misbehave during exams will stand when called, bend over their desk, and be quickly caned on the bare buttocks by a female invigilator. This reduces time lost to punishment, and the boy returns promptly to his exam, rather than being sent down to my office.
There are drawbacks, to be sure. Some of the boys read Papillon during their french lit course, and borrowed a few prison techniques: we have found crib notes rolled up and secreted in the rectum, and concealed under boys' foreskins. One boy had actually written physics equations on his penis, that only became legible when he had an erection. Other boys, trying to relax during an exam, simply resorted to outright masturbation.
There will be perseverence, however, and I personally believe this will improve grading overall.
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