Marriages destroyed by SSRI's/SNRIs

[shannon]

Carlito wrote:

Shannon.....just wrote you a long letter.....and it disappeared

Carlito...I'm so sorry. I think you should use a different ISP. i am going to research getting rid of location under name. I know that bothers you.

[natesdad]

Jody wrote:

My husband has been taking Effexor since a nervous breakdown 9 months ago. He was the most honorably, honest, truthful man on the face of the earth. Recently I found out he is having an affair with the receptionist in his office. He tells me he loves her. He asked for a divorce. All family (my side and his) have noticed a big personality change and can't believe he's giving up his wife, a beautifully remodeled home, 22 acres of land, horses, etc. He seems cold and doesn't have a conscience whatsoever. He went on a fishing trip with my father-in-law and my 3 brothers. They told me he was constantly on the phone with who they now know as his girlfriend. He made the calls right in front of them! I am convinced that Effexor ruined our marriage and I wonder about filing a lawsuit with the makers of this horrible drug!

Your husband sounds like I was. I ruined my life, and did tremendous damage to my now ex-wife and my son. I was a sociopath. I spent myself into six figure debt, dropped out of school and divorced, all to have sex with prostitutes. I can't find any other reason I would do something so horrible and I've hated myself for it. I had no control, no feeling for others-I can't recognize the person I was. I hate the person I was. I stopped taking the effexor long ago, without even realizing it might be the problem, and I've changed, but the damage is done. I have ruined my life. I have hurt the two people closest to me.

I don't know what good it would do, but I've been thinking of a lawsuit. PRoblem is, these companies get free reign, and they've completely destroyed the hippocratic oath. I feel betrayed by my doctors, and now view doctors as no street corner drug peddlers-with protection from the law. How do you fight this?

[Roy]

natesdad wrote:

<quoted text>
Your husband sounds like I was. I ruined my life, and did tremendous damage to my now ex-wife and my son. I was a sociopath. I spent myself into six figure debt, dropped out of school and divorced, all to have sex with prostitutes. I can't find any other reason I would do something so horrible and I've hated myself for it. I had no control, no feeling for others-I can't recognize the person I was. I hate the person I was. I stopped taking the effexor long ago, without even realizing it might be the problem, and I've changed, but the damage is done. I have ruined my life. I have hurt the two people closest to me.
I don't know what good it would do, but I've been thinking of a lawsuit. PRoblem is, these companies get free reign, and they've completely destroyed the hippocratic oath. I feel betrayed by my doctors, and now view doctors as no street corner drug peddlers-with protection from the law. How do you fight this?

Natesdad: I am so sorry for what happened in your life. Your story sounds so much like so many others who acted out of character while on Effexor. Many of the spouses of Effexor users have wondered whether their spouses will ever realize what they have done, just as you appear to have realized. Can you tell us how long after you stopped taking Effexor it was before you returned to the person that you were before medication?

[Just Wondering]

Roy wrote:

<quoted text>
Natesdad: I am so sorry for what happened in your life. Your story sounds so much like so many others who acted out of character while on Effexor. Many of the spouses of Effexor users have wondered whether their spouses will ever realize what they have done, just as you appear to have realized. Can you tell us how long after you stopped taking Effexor it was before you returned to the person that you were before medication?

Roy - you are exactly right. For many of us, that is the burning question. From what I have read, some seem to realize it quickly once they come off the meds but others seem to take awhile. I am so sorry you have had to go through this, natesdad. Just know that there are people out here who understand.

[shannon]

Just Wondering wrote:

<quoted text>
Roy - you are exactly right. For many of us, that is the burning question. From what I have read, some seem to realize it quickly once they come off the meds but others seem to take awhile. I am so sorry you have had to go through this, natesdad. Just know that there are people out here who understand.

Hey JW...hope you are doing better and moving on (even at a snail's pace). I have been thinking of you and your situation, and I want you to know, you helped me. I try much harder to be aware of my behavior regarding my family (especially). I am still taking 37.5mg, but hope to be completely free of meds in 2 weeks. I have most of my emotions back (hurray) and feel more conscious of my choices. My wall is slowly crumbling....and though it's painful, it's SOMETHING! I hope this helps you to understand the significance this drug can have on someone. shannon

[Just Wondering]

shannon wrote:

<quoted text>
Hey JW...hope you are doing better and moving on (even at a snail's pace). I have been thinking of you and your situation, and I want you to know, you helped me. I try much harder to be aware of my behavior regarding my family (especially). I am still taking 37.5mg, but hope to be completely free of meds in 2 weeks. I have most of my emotions back (hurray) and feel more conscious of my choices. My wall is slowly crumbling....and though it's painful, it's SOMETHING! I hope this helps you to understand the significance this drug can have on someone. shannon

Shannon - I am glad I have helped in some small way. I think that's what this board is for - for all of us to realize we are not alone and to get help and support from people who have (unfortunately) suffered amazingly similar ordeals. I am trying to move on. I suppose like everyone I have my good days and bad days. I am just coming through a few bad days. But, I keep trying. The sadness is always there. I miss her and our life, but life goes on. I am glad to hear things are improving for you.

[M3li55a]

I have been on Effoxor for a while. I see how you feel like my boyfriend doen not attract me, as if I could let him go. I also know that I completely love him and he is who i want to be with forever. I have found that having one drink or one beer alon will help your sexual desires. I feel like alot of people on this site want to blamw the meds for your feeling of anger. Anger comes from getting upset and expressing it incorrectly. The reason we take the medicine is to stabalize the moods we had. The medicine are a prescrption pair oe eyeglasses, but you have to do the reading. For other words try diffrent techniques on working on your original problem anxiety, depression, anger, it was always there and upping your prescription is not going to take it all away. If you are not happy with your therapist find a new one that uses multiple techniques in helping you handle your anger, anxiety and depresion. I have overcome my depression first, I am working and alomost have overcome my axiety. It has took me many years to overcome my depression I have not been depressed for 4years and since I have tooken Effexor for my anxiety and paranio my anxiety is gone, but I know that I have to still continue with therapy for it because it still there inside me. Everyday I am more confident and happier then Ever I have suffered anger since I was a child and I just began to work on this. My advice is #1 don't be in denial #2 Don't give up. #3 It os possible to overcome #4 Be patient #5 forgive yourself and know better

[M3li55a]

It not impossible to over come sorry I mad a mistake

[SAD]

i was on cipralex it changed me totally i started hating my husband had an affair not my personality at all to do that, i thought i was invinsable everyone round me said i had changed i wasnt me no more but i felt great 2 years later after being off the drug im more like me and i know i love my husband so much but that drug ruined my life and now ive lost him but i no that drug changed the way i behaved im now depressed again but id rather not go back on that drug ever

[Hopeful]

I can tell you that there more of us out there that just don't want to discuss it publicly, like myself. My wife does not believe any side effect could be caused by a drug that makes her feel so normal and is no longer prepared to discuss it with me (no insight). We are still together, though I am now walking on eggshells and feel very little love from my wife since she went back on the effexor.

There are others who I know that believe the person they are married to has changed, never thinking that the meds. could cause a personality change, apathy, loss of love.

Being the spouse of someone treated with AD's can be as difficult as dealing with anxiety and depression. I guess the drug companies, medical professionals and government regulators will never study or acknowledge this side effect.

[Hopeful]

Any idea how to remove the address from the post?

[grlbowhunter]

Jody wrote:

My husband has been taking Effexor since a nervous breakdown 9 months ago. He was the most honorably, honest, truthful man on the face of the earth. Recently I found out he is having an affair with the receptionist in his office. He tells me he loves her. He asked for a divorce. All family (my side and his) have noticed a big personality change and can't believe he's giving up his wife, a beautifully remodeled home, 22 acres of land, horses, etc. He seems cold and doesn't have a conscience whatsoever. He went on a fishing trip with my father-in-law and my 3 brothers. They told me he was constantly on the phone with who they now know as his girlfriend. He made the calls right in front of them! I am convinced that Effexor ruined our marriage and I wonder about filing a lawsuit with the makers of this horrible drug!

I am with you 100%. You go and start a lawsuit I will join you. I had an affair with a creepy little man on a decorated military man while he was deployed and I definately believe that the Effexor was a contributing factor cause I too was unable to "feel" for my husband who the day I met him told him he was the man I was supposed to be with.

[The Effexorcist]

Hopeful wrote:

Any idea how to remove the address from the post?

I asked the same question...I had a response...had to "cut and paste"...dont know how to do that.

The next best thing is to join the forum....thats what I did...you can put in any location...but the location of your server will still show.

I live in a small town...was not real excited about confessing to the universe

Carlito

[The Effexorcist]

Grlbowhunter....kill em and grill em ...huh ?

[grlbowhunter]

To the Effexorcist,
Thanks for the laugh. I needed a morning smile. I have been effexor free for 7 days now and am still feeling the effects. I have to tell you all that after I have spent time on this site and read all your posts it helps me a bunch. I am trying right now to rebuild a marriage that I destroyed by having an affair. When I began acting inappropriately and then had the affair I believed I no longer loved my husband. I really no longer cared about anyone in my life that was important. I spent more time being nice and helpful to the people outside of my home and that isn't me. I didn't at the time realize what was going on, but now after being off of it and being able to go back and look at my behaviors and my feelings I know that the effexor was the contributing factor to how I felt or should I say didn't feel. I was devoid of emotion. This drug is evil and it definately changed my life forever. I am not one that blames other people, or things or circumstances in my childhood for my behaviors as a 42 year old woman, but I do have to say that I definately believe I would never have had the affair and destroyed my life had it not been for the effexor. I hate this crap it should be removed from the market and it should certainly be prescribed with a lot more caution. How do I rebuild a marriage and get my husband to believe that the person who cheated on him is not the person he married and spent 15 years with?

[AlisonClair]

I have been on Citalopram for just over a year. I feel completely devoid of emotion for my boyfriend of nearly eight years. To see the hurt in his eyes when I tell him I don't love him just breaks my heart. I feel tremendous guilt every day, and often think it would be easier to leave, if only to let him get on with his life, and to stop this guilt I feel. I have no idea if this detachment I feel is because I really don't love him, or if its a symptom of this depression, or a side effect of the Citalopram. Every day just seems a nightmare.

[sad]

alison clair im sure its the drug that makes you feel like this please dont leave him come of this drug it ruined my life,, 2 years after coming off the drug my family say they now have there daughter back but i lost the man i deeply love because of it. i no several people that have tried to kill themselves while on Citalopram and i think they need to stop giving people drugs like these so easily

[grlbowhunter]

To Alison...I am not sure how old you are, but you need to get off the medicines and stay off. I spent 5 years on different ones, but I have to tell you that Effexor at 150mg for 2 years destroyed my life. I have been drug free now for 2 weeks and am still feeling the effects, but it seems for the first time in a very long the fog is lifting. I feel like me again, hell...I feel again. The longer time goes on without the meds the better I feel and the more clearly I see how drastically Effexor changed me. Please don't leave your boyfriend...get off the meds first and then see how you feel, but give yourself at least a month to decide after being drug free.

[beth]

Maybe these things you only saw when your partner was on the meds were always there, but repressed. Maybe the effexor has only given your partner the strength to find the real happiness that they have always denied themselves. I have been married for 25 years and have tried to make the best of things forever. the truth is I have been very unhappy and internalized most of this for years. now that my children are grown and almost on their own, I wanted to leave my marriage, but the reality of it scared the hell out off me and the thought of how my leaving would upset everyone made me think I could never leave and I would be trapped forever and that depressed me to the point of being suicidal. Now that I am on effexor (low-dose,only about 4 weeks now) I am finally able to face that reality and begin to make the move to being on my own. If only I had this med years ago, I maybe would have been able to stand up for myself enough to deflect the verbal and emotional abuse I have endured for years. Now the reality of leaving is much less of a fear. I can take what ever will come be coming my way very soon. And I know the people that will be lost/hurt/confused by my leaving will eventually understand that my own well-being was at risk.

[Just Wondering]

M3li55a wrote:

I have been on Effoxor for a while. I see how you feel like my boyfriend doen not attract me, as if I could let him go. I also know that I completely love him and he is who i want to be with forever....

I am always amazed at how similar the effects are. My ex-wife, after 15 happy years, began taking Effexor and decided she wanted a divorce. When I asked why she said she just didn't "feel" it for me anymore and something was "missing." She couldn't say what, or why or when, but she just felt she needed to move on. Yet, like you know you completely love your boyfriend, she said she knows she wants to "end up w/me for the rest of her life...but just 5 or 10 years from now." She said she was still ttracted to me, still thought I was a good father to our kids and even said I was a good, loving husband and that it wasn't anyhting I did or didn't do, but this was just how she now feels and so she walked away. You have to fight those feelings and realize it is the drug and not what you are really feeling.