depression &your beliefs

[mike]

I have always had a hangup about God wanting to stop me from living my life.I've also had depression all my life.I learned from my doctor that this is sometimes called "delusional thinking" and my dpression is the primary source.Also I was subjected to the fire and brimstone attitude of religion once in a while when I was young, by a relative.
My major depression has thrown many monkey wrenches into my life but was suprised that it did this one.I have this feeling that no matter what I try to accomplish somehow God won't want me to do it and he'll stop me.I know this sounds crazy but I'm not crazy.Just depressed.Have any of you out there experienced this with depression?If you have how did you undo it?and what did you change it to?I would really appreciate a response.Good luck to you all on your path of wellness. Mike

[sig sauer]

Mike, first of all stop being so hard on yourself. God is on your side, he wants only the best for you, and yes it feels like at times that everyone can be against you including God but that is the depression coming out. You have to look at depression as an illness, a chemical imbalance. Sitting under the preaching of fire and brimstone sermons can be more convicting than anything else. I suffer from major depression also and there is a fine line when it comes to rational thinking. The best advice I can give is to try different meds. until one works for you, and I know this can be a long process, don't give up run to God not from him.....good luck...