Celexa and Death Anxiety.. anyone?

[Vincent]

Hello everyone,

I have been on Effexor XR in the past, because, I've faced it now, since I was a child, I've had depression and anxiety problems (anxiety moreso). My last doctor just kind of prescribed me Effexor without doing much questioning and I was not very happy with this. I took it for a while and it seemed to help a bit, but crippling side effects cause me to ween off the drug.

Suddenly, and seemingly for no reason, I've dipped back into "the mood". This time, however, it's different. In the past, I would be kept up at night panicing and stressing about pointless things, and I knew they were pointless... what's going to happen at work tomorrow.. did I forget to pay a bill.. and I would flip out over these tiny problems. That, I got over through help from Effexor and forcing myself to realize that I need not worry so much about simple problems.

Unfortunately, I feel much different.. I woke up in the middle of the night about a week ago, and suddenly could not think of anything but death. I became obsessed with it and have barely slept, cannot function at work or while trying to have fun, and am in a detached state of reality.

Everyone I have tried to talk to about this seems to think im contemplating suicide. Nobody understands what is going on.. it's completely the opposite. I have developed a terrorizing and primal fear of death, and it is all I can think about, all day.

I went to my new doctor, but was unable to see my actual physician.. instead I had to speak with the physician's assistant.. I went in with the intention of having him be a jumping point to speak with a specialist that could help me through this.. instead, he barely listened. I think all he heard was "used to take Effexor, didn't like side effects".. wrote me up a prescription for Celexa and said goodbye.

Now, I'm not asking anyone to suggest what steps I should take now.. I know I have to try to see my actual doctor and tell her that I want to see a psychologist, or something of that nature.

I'm about to start Celexa. I don't care about the side effects at this point, but what I do care about is whether this will actually have any effect on my current state.

Has anyone ever suffered from this primal fear and obsession? It is truly crippling. Everything I see and hear, everywhere, that never used to bother me at all, reminds me of the inevitable, and I have been constantly terrified for my loved ones and the prospect of non-existence. The only outlet that has eased my suffering so far has been reading philosophy. I am a spiritual person, but not religious, and could never be in an organized religion.

If anyone has any stories, success or otherwise, related to death anxiety and taking an SSRI, I would be very grateful to know if it helped at all with getting your daily life back on track, since It's going to be a while before I can go the proper route through my doctor, unfortunately.

Thank you.

[Jeannie]

Coincidentally, I began Citalopram (the generic for Celexa) for depression/anxiety the same day you posted this. I took three 20 mg doses and thought I noticed some improvement in my depression. I had previously tried Wellbutrin but quit after 2 doses (on doctor's advice) due to increased suicidal ideation.

The 3rd day on Cita, I woke up from a nap with extreme, extreme anxiety. Agitation is probably a better word. I felt like something terrible had just happened or was getting ready to happen. I had a physiological reaction that included tingling under my skin, sinking stomach, loss of appetite, hot/cold flashes, profuse sweating, and akatisia (inability to sit still). My doctor advised me to stop taking the drug. 3 days later the symptoms persist. I didn't eat solid food for 2 days. I am now afraid to leave my house. I went out briefly yday and had such generalized anxiety that I rushed home. I have NEVER been agoraphobic. I have NEVER before had anxiety attacks. I am now claustrophobic, preferring to be outside (but only in my own yard of course) if possible. This is also a new symptom.

This has been the most horrific experience I've ever had in my entire life. I don't know how much longer it will last or how I will be able to live through it. I'm not taking it a day at a time. I'm taking it a moment at a time.

Symptoms are worse right after I wake up. I don't know why.

Sometimes I think I'm losing my mind.

I'm not against anti-depressants. I know they help many people. But some people just can't take them and I suspect I'm one of them. I also believe they are over-prescribed. But my biggest problem with the process is that there is so little "after the sale" support. They put you on these things and then don't follow up with you and don't care how you're doing. Also they downplay the side effects, so when you do have an extreme reaction you think you're nuts. If it wasn't for forums like this with other people talking about their experiences, I'm not sure I'd have made it through these last few days. It helps to know I'm not alone. That this isn't some new phase of my depression. The medical profession is so afraid of being sued, that they won't admit that anything they've prescribed could do this. So you think it's you. And that you will be this way the rest of your life.

Then you find a forum. See where someone else has gone through this and survived. Or is coping. It helps. It's a lifeline.

[Paula]

My understanding of the drug citalopram is that the side effects most likely will go away after taking the drug for about over a month. Your body needs to get use to it and will have temporary side effects from getting accustomed to it.

I would definitely talk to your doctor about how you feel though.

[Amelia]

I have OCD but I can live with it and am waiting for cognitive therapy. My doctor has prescribed 20mg of Citalopram with Diamazapan but I dont think I should take it, listening to you guys and I am tiny framed - I dont think I should take it as it sounds horrendous. I appreciate your bloggs. I did read one blogg where everyone was praising Citalopram. The doctor said that in the first two weeks of taking it, any worries or obsessions are magnified and then after 2 weeks of taking it they go away, but they have to be amplified to be solved - is that bullshit?

[Johnny]

I have been on it for 8 months and my OCD is completely gone. This med has been wonderful for me.

[kelly]

This is a response to Vincent.. I am totally the same way.. i have become obsessed with the idea of death.. i think about it more than 10 times a day about my friends or family dying and even myself but i am not suicidal.. i tell people about this and they just look at me like im crazy.. my life has totally changed for the worse.. i suffer extreme anxiety, it has become so bad that i feel messed up from the moment i wake up to the moment i go to slee.. i almost feel like a cartoon. i think this whole death issue happened with a family member of mine passed away.. i went to my doctor again after being given pills almost 6 months ago and havent taken it because my anxiety just took the best of me and prevented me from trying it.. but i absolutely understand what you are suffering from.. has this pill helped you any?

[NeuroPsychologis t PHD]

Hello people. Firstly I sympathize with your current conditions and understand what you are going through at a physiological, psychological and emotional level.
The first thing I would like to address is the anxiety/obsessional tendencies you are descibing. The term OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) refers to unwanted and negative repetitive thoughts that haunt someone until they materialize the mindset of "What the hell is wrong with me!" The compulsion side is simply magical rituals done to an excess in hopes of ridding the obsessions. What you are describing is the obsessional aspect of OCD witout compulsion. Interestingly enough anxiety disorders such as OCD and clinical depression have a high correlation, that is to say one might exacerbate the other or vice versa.
The report of uninterested doctors and sloppy psychiatrists doesn't suprise me, they usually become immune to repeated accounts of treating this and rely too much on the 'celebrated' medical model of treatment. What does this mean? Well simply they believe that a drug is the cure for your symptoms. Does this make the problem go away....maybe...but other interventions are needed also.
Firstly, there is no meaning behind the obsession of 'death'. You have simply picked something negative and have formed a feedback loop in your mind. When this happens it seems as though you are going 'crazy'- but in fact you are not. Your survival mechanism is simply in the stuck on position and this in turn is causing you to think that something awful is going to happen. These obsessions are simply causing what is called anticipatory anxiety.
All that being said, does this lend itself to a proper conclusion- not yet. A drug will supress the symptoms of depression or anxiety but will not 'cure' it. Unfortunately these issues are partly genetic and chronic conditions....but the good news is THEY ARE TREATABLE and have the best remission rates.
Here is a neuropsychologists advice:
1- Take the prescribed medication for more than 2 months, at the same time everyday.
2- Get at least 30 mins of cardiovascular exercise 3-4 times a week.
3- Avoid caffeine, nicotine, alcohol and any other stimulants- no street drugs.
4-Eat regularly and in small amounts, no huge meals.
5- Sleep 7-8 hours on a regular schedule.
6- Avoid negative input...ie- the evening news.
A further list of reading that would be highly advantageous for you would be a book entitled, "The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook" by Edmund J. Bourne. Education is key in understanding these issue and it will also empower you to beat the issue and turn it into a positive influence. What I mean by this is that you will discover many things about yourself during the healing process that will suprise you and after remission you will have a completely different outlook on the situation.

[NeuroPsychologis t PHD]

One last thing, I know it's a living hell, but be patient- anxiety loves a person who is impatient.
More on citalopram side effects and efficacy:
Citalopram has a base dose for therapeutic efficacy which is 20mg/day. 10mgs may work for the elderly or persons that are under 90 pounds. At 20mgs 80% of the efficacy is obtained, what this means is that by increasing the dose by increments of ten you will not recieve a linear heightened effect.
The reason citalopram does not work immediately is due to a process called 'downregulation'. In the neural systems of the brain there is too much of certain receptors and this is exacerbated with high concentrations of neurotransmitting chemicals. What this drug does is enables these NT's to stay in the synapse longer thus creating a lessened need for the excess receptor cites and then causes an inhibitory effect. This in turn relieves the symptoms of anxiety and depression. The downregulation process can take from between 3-8 weeks depending on the person. Also keep in mind that there are many anti-depressants on the market and some work for some people, some don't, you may have to try a couple to get it right.
A word on using benzodiazepines with SSRI's. One post mentioned a fear of combining an anti-depressant and a benzodiazepine ( dizepam also known as valium). They are safe together but act in synergy. One aids a chemical named Gamma Amino Butyric Acid (GABA) in inhibiting action potential firing (anxiety) and the SSRI calms down neural circuits in other brain regions. The two are safe, but it is always better to use one to know which one is working...sometimes the effects become confounded. The reason a health care professional would prescribe both would be only apparent when the patient is in a state of heightened chronic anxiety and needs a quick fix while the SSRI takes effect.
You will all, in time, be relieved of this problem, this I guarantee, it is the end of days for a person in the midst of one of these issues, but once it lifts (and it will) you will have a greater appreciation for you mental and physical health. Hang in there, you are not alone.

[Sadie B]

NeuroPsychologist PHD - THANK YOU! We need people like you because you give hope and I believe you understand the worries we have. I love your thaughts "anxiety loves a person who is impatient"

[heartbroken sister]

I urge anyone who knows someone on Celexa or is currently taking Celexa to please either discuss another form of medication with your Doctor or please make certain that you are being counseled and closely monitored while on this medication.

My brother was suffering from depression and recognized that he needed help to overcome his depression, he had no health insurance, however, he was a veteran and able to obtain an appointment with his local Veterans Clinic, on December 18th, 2007 my brother had his initial visit (the one and only I will add) he was prescribed Celexa and began taking it that day. Additionally, he was not scheduled for any type of counseling or follow-up visit until January 17, 2008.
December 28th my brother took his life!!! There was no warning, no talk of suicide, he had been visiting with friends until around 10:00 p.m. on December 27th and according to those that were with him all seemed normal.

There are so many things that lead us to believe it was a very split second decision and appeared he awoke from sleeping and just ended his life. My brother was a hunter and avid outdoorsman he owned no less than 15 guns yet the manner in which he ended his life was by hanging himself, not by a rope or any type of fancy knot or noose (things that he would know how to make from years of boyscouts, military training and outdoor camping etc.) he made a simple knot in coaxial cable.
I do not mean to seem graphic or cold and this is actually the first time since his passing that I have even shared this with anyone other than my husband. I am just so grief stricken still as is my entire family and the numerous lives he touched in his 42 years.
I never want anyone else on this medication to have the result such as my brothers and the aftermath of victims that have been left behind.

[Kevin]

Vincent wrote:

Has anyone ever suffered from this primal fear and obsession? It is truly crippling. Everything I see and hear, everywhere, that never used to bother me at all, reminds me of the inevitable, and I have been constantly terrified for my loved ones and the prospect of non-existence. The only outlet that has eased my suffering so far has been reading philosophy. I am a spiritual person, but not religious, and could never be in an organized religion.
If anyone has any stories, success or otherwise, related to death anxiety and taking an SSRI, I would be very grateful to know if it helped at all with getting your daily life back on track, since It's going to be a while before I can go the proper route through my doctor, unfortunately.
Thank you.

Vincent,
About three months ago, when many changes were occuring in my life (purchased a home, lots of stress at work, etc.) I started to have the same feelings you are having. I still have them today and have yet to start any medications. I have, however, been taking Xanax (the generic actually) to handle the bad days. If I feel a bout of anxiety coming on, I take a 0.25mg dose and it seems to help. It is in SSRI.
I have read a few books and have been to therapy and believe that Zoloft is probably the best medication for me (I'm not a doctor, this is just from what I've read).
The main reason for this post is to let you know that you are definitely not alone. I've had the same obsession of death, my friends, my loved ones, me... I fixate on the day they will die and it crushes me. Then I start to imagine what it would be like when I die, the lights going out and I get scared. It is quite terrible, especially since it literally came out of no where. I'm also an atheist, so I don't have the comfort of believing in an afterlife or a "better place." One day I just snapped. Before February I was 100% happy and had been for many years. I had not been depressed since a break up, but at least there was a reason for that depression. This seems to have come on out of the blue (after therapy I've been able to realize a few reasons, most of which is the change in my life). The anxiety about death is just a symptom of something else. You'll find the reason and get it figured out. Don't worry.
You're definitely not alone.
Sincerely,
Kevin

[Samantha]

I was Citalopram for 2 week and developed a very bad side effect from the tablets, My hand were shaking so bad i could not hold anything properly and started to have bad anxiety so i went back to the doctors who told me that i should stop straight a way and was put on diazepam to try and help to reduce the amount my hands were shaking i must admit i have never been so worried about something so much.

[Dave]

Hello, I know what you are going through. I too have dealt with this in the past. the constant and riduculous fear of dying. I ahve been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I ahve been taking Celexa for years and it has very effectively controled my anxiety problem. It wassn't over night. I think I started to feel relief at about 3 weeks, with complete loss of anxiety over the next 2 - 3 months. I wish you the best as this is a terrible feeling that I know well...but know there is hope! It got better a

Vincent wrote:

Hello everyone,
I have been on Effexor XR in the past, because, I've faced it now, since I was a child, I've had depression and anxiety problems (anxiety moreso). My last doctor just kind of prescribed me Effexor without doing much questioning and I was not very happy with this. I took it for a while and it seemed to help a bit, but crippling side effects cause me to ween off the drug.
Suddenly, and seemingly for no reason, I've dipped back into "the mood". This time, however, it's different. In the past, I would be kept up at night panicing and stressing about pointless things, and I knew they were pointless... what's going to happen at work tomorrow.. did I forget to pay a bill.. and I would flip out over these tiny problems. That, I got over through help from Effexor and forcing myself to realize that I need not worry so much about simple problems.
Unfortunately, I feel much different.. I woke up in the middle of the night about a week ago, and suddenly could not think of anything but death. I became obsessed with it and have barely slept, cannot function at work or while trying to have fun, and am in a detached state of reality.
Everyone I have tried to talk to about this seems to think im contemplating suicide. Nobody understands what is going on.. it's completely the opposite. I have developed a terrorizing and primal fear of death, and it is all I can think about, all day.
I went to my new doctor, but was unable to see my actual physician.. instead I had to speak with the physician's assistant.. I went in with the intention of having him be a jumping point to speak with a specialist that could help me through this.. instead, he barely listened. I think all he heard was "used to take Effexor, didn't like side effects".. wrote me up a prescription for Celexa and said goodbye.
Now, I'm not asking anyone to suggest what steps I should take now.. I know I have to try to see my actual doctor and tell her that I want to see a psychologist, or something of that nature.
I'm about to start Celexa. I don't care about the side effects at this point, but what I do care about is whether this will actually have any effect on my current state.
Has anyone ever suffered from this primal fear and obsession? It is truly crippling. Everything I see and hear, everywhere, that never used to bother me at all, reminds me of the inevitable, and I have been constantly terrified for my loved ones and the prospect of non-existence. The only outlet that has eased my suffering so far has been reading philosophy. I am a spiritual person, but not religious, and could never be in an organized religion.
If anyone has any stories, success or otherwise, related to death anxiety and taking an SSRI, I would be very grateful to know if it helped at all with getting your daily life back on track, since It's going to be a while before I can go the proper route through my doctor, unfortunately.
Thank you.

[MargeH]

Dave wrote:

Hello, I know what you are going through. I too have dealt with this in the past. the constant and riduculous fear of dying. I ahve been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I ahve been taking Celexa for years and it has very effectively controled my anxiety problem. It wassn't over night. I think I started to feel relief at about 3 weeks, with complete loss of anxiety over the next 2 - 3 months. I wish you the best as this is a terrible feeling that I know well...but know there is hope! It got better a<quoted text>

Hi everyone, I too experienced this very intensely about a month ago. I wasn't on celexa though.. it was horrible, thoughts of the fact that we died dominated my mind for weeks.I did not feel like I could really talk to anyone about it... it was embarrassing. I lost my mother when I was 11 and have experienced may other types of losses in my life. That may have something to do with it, but sure why at that point in time.

It just became glaringly clear this life is so short and death seemed more real than... this in spite of the fact I am a believer!

That sort of abated and then turned into obsessing about the death of my family (children, grandchildren)... I would have a flashing thought and start crying uncontrollably as though it were really occurring. Not good.... So morbid. I did talk to my Dr about it as he is not very validating. I did not seek mental heath services due to expense and the fact that I am observing myself going through this and know it will pass at some point, and it did...

It turned into obsessing over the well-being of my adult children, the decisions they were making, the way they handle relationships etc...
Had to get a grip, I was making myself crazy.

Now after months of crying 2x to ER last week... I am going to try celexa. Effexor XR worked great for a number of years. Cymbalta worked but was a nightmare coming off of... which my Dr totally told me was not possible!!!

I can truly empathise with the death thing and find it interesting to have folks who also experienced the same thing. I would look forward to discussing this further to try to help ourselves through it.

[MargeH]

heartbroken sister wrote:

I urge anyone who knows someone on Celexa or is currently taking Celexa to please either discuss another form of medication with your Doctor or please make certain that you are being counseled and closely monitored while on this medication.
My brother was suffering from depression and recognized that he needed help to overcome his depression, he had no health insurance, however, he was a veteran and able to obtain an appointment with his local Veterans Clinic, on December 18th, 2007 my brother had his initial visit (the one and only I will add) he was prescribed Celexa and began taking it that day. Additionally, he was not scheduled for any type of counseling or follow-up visit until January 17, 2008.
December 28th my brother took his life!!! There was no warning, no talk of suicide, he had been visiting with friends until around 10:00 p.m. on December 27th and according to those that were with him all seemed normal.
There are so many things that lead us to believe it was a very split second decision and appeared he awoke from sleeping and just ended his life. My brother was a hunter and avid outdoorsman he owned no less than 15 guns yet the manner in which he ended his life was by hanging himself, not by a rope or any type of fancy knot or noose (things that he would know how to make from years of boyscouts, military training and outdoor camping etc.) he made a simple knot in coaxial cable.
I do not mean to seem graphic or cold and this is actually the first time since his passing that I have even shared this with anyone other than my husband. I am just so grief stricken still as is my entire family and the numerous lives he touched in his 42 years.
I never want anyone else on this medication to have the result such as my brothers and the aftermath of victims that have been left behind.

This is heartbreaking, I am so sorry for your loss.

[Liz]

I am in constant fear of death. Any funny feeling in my body I am sure is something catastrophic. I have been prescribed tramadol celexa and Xanax. I won't take anything but the Xanax. I fear I will have side effects that will kill me. I am so tired. I just want to feel normal.

[will]

Thanks to ssri's and the bad acidlike trip experiences these things provided ,I have a phobia of these meds.I've read a lot of these entries and it just intensifies my fears.
How does one overcome a phobia like this? or should one even try?Therapy doesn't seem to work.
Should a person look at these entries as isolated incidences?,I don't know.
My condolences and sympathies to you Heartbroken Sister concerning your loss.i wish you all the best.
I have major depression,ocd,a.d.d.,g.a.d.,a nd too much shyness,so I'm stumped here.I don't know what to do. Good luck to you all and God bless. Will.

[mike]

Whem I was on prozac I had this terrible fear,cessation as they like to call it,that Iwas going to attack and kill someone.I 've never felt this way before and haven't since going off of the prozac.This scared me because I DO NOT WANT TO HURT ANYONE!Have any of you had this side effect and if you did what was it like?
Did you find the courage to try one again?I live with other people and I;m afraid to try these drugs again. mike.