Sexist Jokes About Men

Posted in the Denver Forum

“Scammers don't have testicles”

Level 5

Since: Dec 11

Zone Land somewhere in the UK!

#1 Jan 10, 2012
Sexist Jokes About Men. One one or to about women!.

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

What do you call a pig crossed with a woman :

a man!

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

Ben was setting his friend Anthony up for a blind date with his friend Susan "If she's ugly just pretend to have an asthma attack" said Ben. Anthony went to pick up Susan at her house and was stunned at how gorgeous she was.

Then Susan started going "AUUGGHHHH!"

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None.

It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

How many men does it take to change a light bulb?

None.

Let the wife cook in the dark.
<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

What are the three fastest means of communication?

1) Internet 2) Telephone 3) Telawoman!

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

What is 6" long, has a head on it and drives women crazy?

A Fifftey Pound Note!50

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

How can you tell if a woman has an orgasm?

Who cares?

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

Why do women fake orgasms?

They think we care.

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

Why do women like intelligent men?

Opposites attract.

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

What do you call an intelligent woman in America?

A tourist.

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

Some mornings I wake up grouchy... and some mornings I just let her sleep!

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>
How many men does it take to mop a floor?

None.

It's a woman's job.

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

Why can't Helen Keller drive?

She's a woman!
<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

How is marriage like a hot bath?

Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

Wife: "The two things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie."
Husband:

"Which is this?"

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

A businessman, an intelligent woman, and the Easter Bunny get into an elevator. There is a $10 note lying on the ground. Who picks it up?

The businessman; the other two don't exist!

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A woman that won't do what she's told!

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

The Zone
Nicholas

Syracuse, NY

#2 Jan 6, 2013
What is with these stupid jokes and they are suppose to sound sexy. My grandma can make up better jokes than these
handsome aare

Lagos, Nigeria

#4 Jan 30, 2013
i really love that, a questionnaire and intelligent supplier
handsome aare

Lagos, Nigeria

#5 Jan 30, 2013
I REALLY LIKE THIS: ITS INTERESTING
Sexist Jokes About Men. One one or to about women!.

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

What do you call a pig crossed with a woman :

a man!

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

Ben was setting his friend Anthony up for a blind date with his friend Susan "If she's ugly just pretend to have an asthma attack" said Ben. Anthony went to pick up Susan at her house and was stunned at how gorgeous she was.

Then Susan started going "AUUGGHHHH!"

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None.

It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

How many men does it take to change a light bulb?

None.

Let the wife cook in the dark.
<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

What are the three fastest means of communication?

1) Internet 2) Telephone 3) Telawoman!

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

What is 6" long, has a head on it and drives women crazy?

A Fifftey Pound Note!50

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

How can you tell if a woman has an orgasm?

Who cares?

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

Why do women fake orgasms?

They think we care.

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

Why do women like intelligent men?

Opposites attract.

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

What do you call an intelligent woman in America?

A tourist.

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

Some mornings I wake up grouchy... and some mornings I just let her sleep!

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>
How many men does it take to mop a floor?

None.

It's a woman's job.

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

Why can't Helen Keller drive?

She's a woman!
<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

How is marriage like a hot bath?

Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

Wife: "The two things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie."
Husband:

"Which is this?"

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

A businessman, an intelligent woman, and the Easter Bunny get into an elevator. There is a $10 note lying on the ground. Who picks it up?

The businessman; the other two don't exist!

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A woman that won't do what she's told!

<> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <> ooooo <> <>

The Zone
Tami

Kaysville, UT

#6 Feb 4, 2013
Ummm. I thought these were all about men...
imatruthaddict

Denver, CO

#7 Feb 5, 2013
Ahh Tami you were tricked into it...haha
Da zone

San Bernardino, CA

#8 May 10, 2013
Lets just turn the table on him. Just replace the he with a she! Ha ha
How many woman does it take to mop a floor? None it's a males job. Take that!!
Politix

Blairsville, GA

#9 May 11, 2013
There are only two things my wife doesn't like about me - everything I say and everything I do!

With her, it's not about my "junk," it's the cute way I get on and off.

She wants to be a magician but the only act she has is to cross and uncross her legs and make the refrigerator light go on and off.

Can she cook? The only thing she's ever made for dinner were reservations.

She did try to make lunch one time, but the EPA shut her down. Something about creating a toxic waste site.
saycheese

Douglasville, GA

#11 Jul 8, 2013
whats the biggest lie you ever heard from a man..I love you
saycheese

Douglasville, GA

#12 Jul 8, 2013
what comes with a warning after you use it your mans penis while your on the way to the doctor
LEG

Mechanicsville, VA

#13 Oct 3, 2013
"One or two about women?" A man must have created this page because he obviously cannot count.

“Crush, kill, destroy.”

Level 9

Since: Aug 08

.

#14 Oct 4, 2013
saycheese wrote:
whats the biggest lie you ever heard from a man..I love you
I love Mrs. Bunny, but then I'm a bunny..
Anonymous

Zanesville, OH

#15 Oct 17, 2013
saycheese wrote:
whats the biggest lie you ever heard from a man..I love you
I thought it was "I won't come in your mouth"

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Denver Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Internet Marketing Benefits 4 hr Scambo Mc C note 2
Review: Weekly Home Buyers List, Inc. 4 hr Madam Kelly Brooker 6
Republicans the party of LIARS (Dec '11) 8 hr Maddy 13,724
last post wins! (Feb '11) 9 hr NotaGoth 24,748
The Media in Ferguson should be Fair, Balanced,... 11 hr FOX knews 2
4 protester thugs aressted. More to come 14 hr FOX knews 1
Colo. gay discrimination alleged over wedding cake (Jun '13) 21 hr Reverend Alan 4,396
Denver Dating
Find my Match

Denver People Search

Addresses and phone numbers for FREE

Denver News, Events & Info

Click for news, events and info in Denver

Personal Finance

Mortgages [ See current mortgage rates ]

NFL Latest News

Updated 3:17 pm PST

Bleacher Report 3:17PM
Murray's Hype Makes Him Bad Fantasy Option
Yahoo! Sports 4:12 PM
Moore makes comeback from life-threatening injury
Yahoo! Sports 4:50 PM
Week 13 Rankings
Bleacher Report 9:49 PM
Breaking Down Denver's Game Plan vs. KC
Bleacher Report 9:49 PM
Breaking Down Denver's Game Plan vs. KC