good stuff

[awc]

Rockytopzz wrote:

<quoted text>I would hate to have bad tires on all those very fast freeways you have out your way. I had a blow out one time on the freeway long ago in Dallas, was not fun with all the traffic around me.

i have had blow outs on the highway, but i just rode the rim till i could get off, even if the tire or rim shreads to pices.

[awc]

Dear Landlord
----------

Genuine extracts from Letters Sent to Landlords:

I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his
foot in the hole in his back passage.

I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall.

I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

Can you please tell me when our repairs are going to be done as my wife is
about to become an expectant mother.

I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfired and burnt my knob
off.

The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

The person next door has a large erection in his back garden, which is
unsightly and dangerous.

Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk. Yesterday my wife
tripped on it and is now pregnant.

Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny color and not
fit to drink.

Could you please send someone to fix our bath tap. My wife got her toe stuck
in it and it is very uncomfortable for us.

I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 5:30
his cock wakes me up, and it is getting too much.

When the workmen were here they put their tools in my wife's new drawers and
made a mess. Please send men with clean tools to finish the job and keep my
wife happy.

[awc]

Local Bar Sues Local Church

In a small Texas town, a new bar/tavern started a building to open up their business. The local Baptist church started a campaign to block the bar from opening with petitions and prayers.

Work progressed, however right up till the week before opening, when a lightning strike hit the bar and it burned to the ground.

The church folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, until the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the church was ultimately responsible for the demise of his building, either through direct or indirect actions or means. The church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the buildings demise in its reply to the court.

As the case made its way in to court, the judge looked over the paperwork. At the hearing he commented,'I don't know how I'm going to decide this, but as it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that doesn't.'

[Rockytopzz]

awc wrote:

<quoted text>i have had blow outs on the highway, but i just rode the rim till i could get off, even if the tire or rim shreads to pices.

When we went to Texas in March we were driving through Arkansas and a retread was lying out on road. I swerved but the front right tire ran over it and I thought I tore the front end clip off. One thing about those plastic front ends, they bend and hard to break.

[Rockytopzz]

Those two jokes up above were good. I'm not good on jokes unless I'm wearing a mask or when I'm dancing. Going tonight.

[awc]

Rockytopzz wrote:

<quoted text>When we went to Texas in March we were driving through Arkansas and a retread was lying out on road. I swerved but the front right tire ran over it and I thought I tore the front end clip off. One thing about those plastic front ends, they bend and hard to break.

they are all over the roads, left from the trucks.
hitting them at fast speeds can cause blow outs, i'm usually perseptive about things on the roads.
we had a homeless person in arlington run across the highway yesterday but got hit and killed.
why would anyone run across the highway?, i would never do that.
there was a bridge to cross.

[awc]

Rockytopzz wrote:

Those two jokes up above were good. I'm not good on jokes unless I'm wearing a mask or when I'm dancing. Going tonight.

going out dancing?
that sounds great.
the wife loves to dance, but those salsa dances are hard for me to learn.
she might make it on dancing with the stars, but i would kicked off, before i got on, lol.

[Rockytopzz]

awc wrote:

<quoted text>they are all over the roads, left from the trucks.
hitting them at fast speeds can cause blow outs, i'm usually perseptive about things on the roads.
we had a homeless person in arlington run across the highway yesterday but got hit and killed.
why would anyone run across the highway?, i would never do that.
there was a bridge to cross.

One time on a freeway somewheres in Dallas a man on a motorcycle was pulled over because what appeared to be his wallet was out in the second lane of the three lane freeway. I went by him and he ran out and grabbed his wallet but did not make it back, from my rearview mirror I seen him fly in the air when he got hit, traffic was heavy.
Can you remember a airplane or a big jet coming down onto I think Loop 12 back in about the late 1990s? I can't remember if this was true or not, my memory is hazy, but it seems like it did come down just a few minutes after I drove through. I do remember the river or creek flooding out on some land near Loop 12 and the waters flowing across the freeway causing everybody to detour. This would be near Singleton, again I THINK.

[awc]

Rockytopzz wrote:

<quoted text>One time on a freeway somewheres in Dallas a man on a motorcycle was pulled over because what appeared to be his wallet was out in the second lane of the three lane freeway. I went by him and he ran out and grabbed his wallet but did not make it back, from my rearview mirror I seen him fly in the air when he got hit, traffic was heavy.
Can you remember a airplane or a big jet coming down onto I think Loop 12 back in about the late 1990s? I can't remember if this was true or not, my memory is hazy, but it seems like it did come down just a few minutes after I drove through. I do remember the river or creek flooding out on some land near Loop 12 and the waters flowing across the freeway causing everybody to detour. This would be near Singleton, again I THINK.

plane?
i'm trying to remember that.
there is a plane in mt. creek lake, been there since the 80's, it's stuck in the mud.
oh yes by singleton it does flood during heavy rains.

[Rockytopzz]

awc wrote:

<quoted text>plane?
i'm trying to remember that.
there is a plane in mt. creek lake, been there since the 80's, it's stuck in the mud.
oh yes by singleton it does flood during heavy rains.

I do believe it came down on the freeway and crushed some cars.

[Rockytopzz]

awc wrote:

<quoted text>they are all over the roads, left from the trucks.

We have road kill mainly, I guess that's the reason for so many buzzards.

[awc]

Rockytopzz wrote:

<quoted text>I do believe it came down on the freeway and crushed some cars.

it's funny i never heard it, but it's possible it was during a time when i didnt watch tv at all.
in the late 90's, there was a time when i didnt watch tv for months.

[awc]

Rockytopzz wrote:

<quoted text>We have road kill mainly, I guess that's the reason for so many buzzards.

the only road kill i see here are squirrels.
and they remain till they decompose.
animal control hangs out at the titty bars....lol.

[Rockytopzz]

awc wrote:

<quoted text>the only road kill i see here are squirrels.
and they remain till they decompose.
animal control hangs out at the titty bars....lol.

Any jokes about mowing yards?

[awc]

Rockytopzz wrote:

<quoted text>Any jokes about mowing yards?

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it then slammed it shut stormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again; opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied, "There certainly is!"

My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL."

[Rockytopzz]

awc wrote:

<quoted text>
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it then slammed it shut stormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again; opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied, "There certainly is!"
My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL."

Whooooooooohhh, hoooooooooooooohh, LOL.

[Rockytopzz]

Rockytopzz wrote:

<quoted text>Any jokes about mowing yards?

No joke, I have to mow my lawn in parcels because my riding lawn mower is broke down and pushing a cheap lawn mower for now. I have to be careful because the trees and the brush will quickly take over.

[awc]

Rockytopzz wrote:

<quoted text>No joke, I have to mow my lawn in parcels because my riding lawn mower is broke down and pushing a cheap lawn mower for now. I have to be careful because the trees and the brush will quickly take over.

I used to mow my parents yard but, it was very hard.
my mom has flowers and trees all over the place, thus making it an obstacle course.
Then there's the fire ants that snack on your feet.

[Rockytopzz]

awc wrote:

<quoted text>I used to mow my parents yard but, it was very hard.
my mom has flowers and trees all over the place, thus making it an obstacle course.
Then there's the fire ants that snack on your feet.

Sounds like my yard with the flowers and trees and pushing a lawn mower gets the the job done a lot better but not faster. Like I said in the past post, I mow the lawn in parcels, some grass is slightly higher than the rest. I have to mow at least 2 acres.

[awc]

Rockytopzz wrote:

<quoted text>Sounds like my yard with the flowers and trees and pushing a lawn mower gets the the job done a lot better but not faster. Like I said in the past post, I mow the lawn in parcels, some grass is slightly higher than the rest. I have to mow at least 2 acres.

thats a lot of grass.
is your grass green?
and does it smell good after you mow?
i would always find easter eggs as i mowed.
nothing like hitting an egg thats months old, whew.