I tend to agree with you both. The thing is that different children in a dysfunctional family will turn out differently. I think it goes back to the comments I made somewhere else about a marred conscience. Some will be for what was done to them, and others against it.<quoted text>Not all loners by a long shot become surprise criminals and not all surprise criminals are loners. I once knew of a family where the oldest son became a circuit court judge and the youngest son a convicted murderer. It is not always productive to make generalizations.
I certainly hope that the mother communicates to the child that the child's behavior was over the top and that the mother doesn't blame everybody but her daughter.
It could even tie in with Dr. Karen Horney's theories regarding neurosis. There are 3 main patterns of neurotic trends. Someone is either "for others," "against others," or "away from others." All the behaviors here are normal, but when a person uses only a limited set, that is a problem. When your only tool is a hammer, all problems look a bit like nails. "For others" includes things like charm and unhealthy codependency. "Against others" would be competitive and confrontational behaviors, machismo, etc. Then "away from others" would be those who are super independent, are loners, keep to themselves, etc.
One thing about the 3 patterns is that they usually hide the opposite situation. Someone who is super "nice" is often mean and vindictive. You visit a "sweet ole lady" and you may get the feeling that something isn't right, and her pets may become aggressive towards you. Those who show themselves as tough, competitive, and confrontational often have fears of being inadequate, weak, and so on. Those who are overly independent may be the most needy of the 3 and shut out situations that require skills they don't have. At least alone, they feel adequate and can be whoever they want. This ties in with what Paula said, since they may lack the skills to solicit help or react with an appropriate level of aggression at the time of whatever, so emotional injuries build up.