Editorial: Focus on real problem with...

Editorial: Focus on real problem with school discipline

There are 6 comments on the Athens Banner-Herald story from Jun 19, 2009, titled Editorial: Focus on real problem with school discipline. In it, Athens Banner-Herald reports that:

In the 1995 movie "Apollo 13," Ed Harris, playing NASA flight director Gene Kranz, utters the following line after an explosion aboard the moon-bound spacecraft: "Let's work the problem, people.

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Big Daddy

Boynton Beach, FL

#1 Jun 22, 2009
I want to express my disgust with a couple of my neighbors. The woman works for the BOE and the man works for Clarke County. They appear to be your everyday, all american family but inside their heads there is definately soomething wrong. They have a teenage son who my 15 year old daughter (14 at the time) is dating. We let the boy come over and visit sometimes. One day my daughter wanted to go to their house. So we sat down with the mother of the boy and made her understand that the kids were not to be together behind closed doors. She agreed in a "goes without saying" kind of manner. "Believe me, we don't want any grandkids yet....HA HA HA" was her exact response. Well at the age of 14 my daughter got pregnant. They said they couldn't believe it and that they were just as shocked and disappointed as we were. Now 6 months and thousands of tears later I'm finding out that not only did these people know they were having sex there, they allowed and encouraged it to continue! One time the father even banged on the wall and told my daughter to be more quiet. Then he bought them condoms, which they didn't use, and he knew about that too. To top all of that off, the father has since told my daughter that she can marry at 16 with a child and there's nothing I can do about it. He's even encouraging her to get married and move in with them. I've asked them nicely not to allow that because she needs to stay unmarried at least until after high school.... no response.
What can I do to get through to these people. They are quite possibly the dummest people I have ever met, which puts them pretty high in the running for the dummest world wide.They seem hell bent on destroying my daughters life. If there is anyone who reads this and wants to comment, please let these people (and me) know what you think of their parental skills and behavior. This is the kind of thing that keeps the teen pregnancy rate high, Georgia graduation rate low and wellfare tax money flowing out of control.
Amazed

Warner Robins, GA

#2 Oct 31, 2009
I am so sorry about what you are going through. You might be interested in going to the magistrates office and file a warrant against the parents for interference with custody, contributing to the deliquincy of a minor and if the boy was at the age of 16, try seeing if you can get him for statutory rape. By all means DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOUR DAUGHTER!!!
Michele

United States

#4 Oct 31, 2009
fnord wrote:
This is just TNB. Amazed, these are not Whites, so you can't expect either set of parents to behave the way Whites would in this situation.
It is interesting that you would post that. Here the family would like to do the right thing by the girl and you post this. I am confused.

I am sorry to say this but do not give up on your daughter. If you are looking for more than fake empathy this what you do. Bargin. It was hard to say that but at this point your authority is slipping away from you. I understand that you would love to take your frustration out on the parents but that is your daughter's battle. Just be there when it happens.
Unfortunately she obviously is too immature to understand what this will do to her in the long term. I suggest you start bargaining. Tell her you will throw the wedding if she graduates and enroll in a nursing program. He will need to join the military and make sure that his MOS is a trade that will not allow them to starve when he leaves the military. All is not lost. They are young perhaps a reality check will push them back on track, maybe not.
Right now they are looking at a hard life ahead of them. If they do not have a trade or career that they can survive on until life cuts them a new one, you are also in for some hard times ahead.
Commit to some support and reward for the completion of HS and the programs. If he is a loser then life will wash him out of her life but at least she has set herself up to meet a better man. The military will keep him from becoming a sofa warrior. If you would like, set him up as a combat medic so that he can pursue a medical career after the military. The bonuses should appeal to his greed. Also he must commit to half of any bonus and combat pay to belong to the daughter. See marriage is not such a bad thing. I know this is harsh but this is life. If you are not hard on him he will never respect you or your daughter later. The military recognizes marriage and you can set it up so that your daughter will be taken care of.

I believe that you are resourceful and may have your own plan. This is just a suggestion.
Michele

United States

#5 Oct 31, 2009
Writing too fast. Hope it makes sense.
Amazed

Warner Robins, GA

#6 Nov 1, 2009
Michele wrote:
<quoted text>
It is interesting that you would post that. Here the family would like to do the right thing by the girl and you post this. I am confused.
I am sorry to say this but do not give up on your daughter. If you are looking for more than fake empathy this what you do. Bargin. It was hard to say that but at this point your authority is slipping away from you. I understand that you would love to take your frustration out on the parents but that is your daughter's battle. Just be there when it happens.
Unfortunately she obviously is too immature to understand what this will do to her in the long term. I suggest you start bargaining. Tell her you will throw the wedding if she graduates and enroll in a nursing program. He will need to join the military and make sure that his MOS is a trade that will not allow them to starve when he leaves the military. All is not lost. They are young perhaps a reality check will push them back on track, maybe not.
Right now they are looking at a hard life ahead of them. If they do not have a trade or career that they can survive on until life cuts them a new one, you are also in for some hard times ahead.
Commit to some support and reward for the completion of HS and the programs. If he is a loser then life will wash him out of her life but at least she has set herself up to meet a better man. The military will keep him from becoming a sofa warrior. If you would like, set him up as a combat medic so that he can pursue a medical career after the military. The bonuses should appeal to his greed. Also he must commit to half of any bonus and combat pay to belong to the daughter. See marriage is not such a bad thing. I know this is harsh but this is life. If you are not hard on him he will never respect you or your daughter later. The military recognizes marriage and you can set it up so that your daughter will be taken care of.
I believe that you are resourceful and may have your own plan. This is just a suggestion.
WHAT???? The parents of a teenage boy was told specifically not to allow the two kids to be left alone behind closed doors...yet the two parents of the boy...one of which works with children in the school system not only let this happen, but encouraged it on top of that by buying condoms. They can be charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor if this girl was in their care at the time of conception. Then to tell this child that no-matter what her parents say, she can wed at 16 with a child...that is interferring with custody...another crime....and if the boy WAS 16 or older with this girl being 14 it is called STATATORY RAPE....yet another crime. If it were my daughter, I would rack so many charges on the parents, they would never want their son married to my daughter for the simple fact, I would make his life a living ****!!!!!!

As far as fake empathy goes by saying not to give up their daughter, where did you come up with that??? How is that fake?? That was simply saying to stand by her NO-MATTER WHAT!!!!
Nicole

Winder, GA

#7 Mar 4, 2010
I have no easy answer to this situation; however, I find it sad how quickly individuals like to cry "statutory rape". Let's all be honest, even at the age of 14 girls are well aware of what they are doing. Sadly, the males seem to end up taking the fall for all of the choices the couples make. Perhaps both families should reach out for prayers and support for these young people. They need to finish their education and make the best of their situation. No matter how the families feel about one another they should all put their personal differences behind them and try to work together for the best interest of the baby. The thought of bringing charges on the boy seems brutal and vendictive, no one will win in that type of situation. This would probably cause the daughter to resent her family and the unborn child would probably never forgive the families either. May God be with you all and may you seek God's divine intervention to guide you and help you with this situation.

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