Parole denied for abused women jailed...

Parole denied for abused women jailed for killing husbands

There are 39 comments on the KSHB-TV Kansas City story from Sep 6, 2006, titled Parole denied for abused women jailed for killing husbands. In it, KSHB-TV Kansas City reports that:

Two Missouri women sentenced to life in prison without parole for killing their abusive husbands but later granted clemency by former Gov.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at KSHB-TV Kansas City.

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Dana

Ann Arbor, MI

#1 Sep 17, 2006
I feel that if abuse was involved and that the women committed these crimes because of it that the state should do their research and realize that eventually wiether human or animal eventually etheir one will snap and defend themselves.
mee too

Saint Louis, MO

#2 Sep 17, 2006
I don't condone murder but in some of these relationships, there is no way out. These women are beaten and kept down like mistreated dogs. And like you said, eventually both will snap. I hate that it has to come to that and it's sad that they go from one prison to another. These poor women are never truly free.
Whitetrashwithmo ney

Kansas City, MO

#3 Sep 18, 2006
Burn the bitches at the stake lazy liberal women you know what they say can't turn a ho in to a housewife.
lives in caruthersville

United States

#4 Sep 18, 2006
You can't say anything about anyone unless you are in the situation. Just because someone is abused doesn't mean they are a ho...women who's husbands are rich and have good jobs are abused everyday...you don't know what they went through and if you have to kill someone to defend yourself then that's what has to be done...I am not saying that killing someone is ok but if you are being abused and you have to defend yourself at that time then defend yourself. Women are afraid to leave because they know that they will be killed or their children will be taken away and sometimes that's the only option. I don't know abuse personally but I know that it does happen and I know people who have been abused so if you don't know the person don't talk bad about them...you are no better than they are.
Once abused

Sullivan, MO

#5 Sep 18, 2006
White trash is apparently just that, unless the comment was made in sarcasm.
I lived with an abusive husband. He was the only man I had ever had relations with, so I don't guess you could call me a ho. I supported the family because he was too convinced that he was too special to have to work. That's what he had me for. Each day was a living hell. I didn't kill him, but I thought I was going to have to. I finally got out and he came after me to kill me for the sin of leaving. He tried three times, including shooting at me and taking the lug nuts off of my vehicle. Apparently God was looking out for me, because I'm still alive. It was terrifying, and there was no help. I hear all the time how people say a woman should leave the man's sorry ass, but when they have control over your every move, it's not that simple. The law doesn't like to get involved in domestic disputes. They leave a woman to fend for herself. I didn't have to kill that evil man, and for that I'm grateful. But I can certainly see how a woman can be in the position of having to. If it were anyone but her husband, it would be called self defense. Unfortunately, too many people still consider a woman to be the property of her husband for him to treat as he wishes.
If it hadn't been for the help of one decent person that helped me escape and gave me a safe place to go and helped watch out for my safety, I have no doubt that either I would be dead, or he would be. I would have had to kill him to save my own life and the lives of my children. Until you've lived in that kind of a situation, you have no right to judge. I can assure you, most men would never consider it to not be their right to protect their own lives. But will condemn a woman for it. I'm very grateful to be married to a good man now, and to have a quality life. I am hard hearted enough to hope that my ex husband gets the karma he deserves.
Redhead

Sullivan, MO

#7 Sep 19, 2006
Three guesses, you abuse your wife, don't you?
Whitetrashwithmoney wrote:
Burn the bitches at the stake lazy liberal women you know what they say can't turn a ho in to a housewife.
Mshowme

Columbia, MO

#8 Sep 21, 2006
To the man with the sick tone about woman, he is not worth my time. Abuse is abuse and no one deserves to be abused. If the situation is too hard for you to make a clean break, then a person whether it be woman or man have to do what they have to do to protect themselves. Men are abused too and sometimes hurt or kill their mate but we don't condone it, so we will not condone the woman BUT if the abuse is not taking seriously by the law because most people and you see I said people not woman or man, know that the law requires a whole lot of mumbo jumbo and witnesses and pictures and all this stuff to get the abuser away from you but the things that are required in order for them to investigate or prosecute the abuser is never enough for the abused to feel safe by coming forward. The police are suppose to protect you but criminals know thier way around the law and thats just plain scary. So for the woman who did these crimes, from the looks of it, they have served thier time. They served time with their husbands in thier lives, they've served time with them out of their lives and now it's time to let these woman live free from harm.
Once abused

Sullivan, MO

#9 Sep 22, 2006
I certainly agree with you. I do not in any way deny that men can and are abused too. There are more women abused because men usually are stronger than a woman, but there are other ways that women abuse as well. It's wrong and unacceptable no matter who is doing it. I don't condone killing an abuser. It is a last resort. You are so right about these women having served their time by having lived with the abusive husbands. I felt that I was living in a concentration camp when I was with my ex husband. Once I was out of the situation, I felt even more that I had lived in prison. I didn't fully appreciate how bad my life was until I was free of it. Forever, I will be grateful that I was able to escape. We don't need to condone the killing of another person, but we do need to understand what sort of mental problems that an abused person ends up with that can lead them to kill, or behave in seemingly irratic ways. The recovery from having lived in an abusive relationship is long and difficult as well. I had to undergo intense therapy to get "well." I still have terrible moments and I think for the rest of my life I will have an anxiety disorder. There is always a fear in the back of my mind that I'll be put back into such a situation and it's been really hard to trust again. I have a super wonderful husband, but I still have problems. It's hard to ever trust another human being completely again. There is so much more taken from the abused than their physical well being at the time. It takes the quality of life from the person to a large extent for the rest of their life. It's a terrible crime to abuse the person that loves you and believed in you. This is probably one of the worst banes of our society.
Mshowme wrote:
To the man with the sick tone about woman, he is not worth my time. Abuse is abuse and no one deserves to be abused. If the situation is too hard for you to make a clean break, then a person whether it be woman or man have to do what they have to do to protect themselves. Men are abused too and sometimes hurt or kill their mate but we don't condone it, so we will not condone the woman BUT if the abuse is not taking seriously by the law because most people and you see I said people not woman or man, know that the law requires a whole lot of mumbo jumbo and witnesses and pictures and all this stuff to get the abuser away from you but the things that are required in order for them to investigate or prosecute the abuser is never enough for the abused to feel safe by coming forward. The police are suppose to protect you but criminals know thier way around the law and thats just plain scary. So for the woman who did these crimes, from the looks of it, they have served thier time. They served time with their husbands in thier lives, they've served time with them out of their lives and now it's time to let these woman live free from harm.
Tired of Iniquity

Sullivan, MO

#10 Sep 30, 2006
To the psycho that has been stalking me online. YOU get a life and quit worrying about mine.
To those of you that were so unfortunate as to witness this, I apologize.
katwomansrevenge

La Crosse, WI

#11 Oct 1, 2006
Tired of Iniquity , don't apologize to us , it's good that you tell people this . I guess i missed out on all of this going on .
Tired of Iniquity

Sullivan, MO

#12 Oct 3, 2006
I just didn't want anyone who's posted here to think it was aimed at them. I'd explain more, but I don't want to give the crazy stalker any ammo. Thanks for understanding.
Flyingeagle

Jefferson City, MO

#13 Oct 4, 2006
I like to joke and kid around, but this issue is serious. NO one has the right to be abusive. That goes to all acts against some one else. How can You love some one, then be mean to them?
Been There

Cedar Hill, TN

#15 Oct 9, 2006
Killing is wrong. But there is such a thing as self defense. I was married to a very abusive man. I was terrified of him and he made sure that I stayed that way. Thank God that I had a small group of people that hid me out and kept me safe. I live far, far away from him now with a new life and a new family. He has vowed to "snap my neck" if he ever finds me. It has been 11 years now and I still look over my shoulder. No one knows what this is like until you have been there.
black woman in missouri

AOL

#16 Oct 10, 2006
To all the women of the world, well i have to tell you i am saddened by the comments of no way out, and to kill or to be killed, that is the poorest excuse i have ever heard, we have police and laws that protect us, but how can they protect us if at one time we call the police because we are getting beat up by our so called husbands, lovers, or men and then when the police come we make excuses for them, saying that if i had not done this or that he would not have hit me, or that it was a accident i walked into his fist,or we lie to the police, or we just dont call them at all. Well i believe if a man hits you 1 time you should be gone it only makes it easier for him to hit you again and again, some women go get exparates against their so called men and then the man still comes around them or continues to live in the house with them, to me that is saying you want him to beat on you and treat you like a dog. Why does it have to get to that point, why would you be willing to protect someone who hurts you, i know most women say i love him and he loves me, well you dont abuse someone you love. Why stick around til it comes to the point of where you have to kill. To all the women of the world get a job become self supporting where you dont have to depend on a man to pay the bills, and survive,and be subject to the abuse, there is always a way out without going thru the desperate measures of taking someones life, it makes you no better than the man that abused you.
Been There

United States

#17 Oct 11, 2006
black woman in missouri wrote:
To all the women of the world, well i have to tell you i am saddened by the comments of no way out, and to kill or to be killed, that is the poorest excuse i have ever heard, we have police and laws that protect us, but how can they protect us if at one time we call the police because we are getting beat up by our so called husbands, lovers, or men and then when the police come we make excuses for them, saying that if i had not done this or that he would not have hit me, or that it was a accident i walked into his fist,or we lie to the police, or we just dont call them at all. Well i believe if a man hits you 1 time you should be gone it only makes it easier for him to hit you again and again, some women go get exparates against their so called men and then the man still comes around them or continues to live in the house with them, to me that is saying you want him to beat on you and treat you like a dog. Why does it have to get to that point, why would you be willing to protect someone who hurts you, i know most women say i love him and he loves me, well you dont abuse someone you love. Why stick around til it comes to the point of where you have to kill. To all the women of the world get a job become self supporting where you dont have to depend on a man to pay the bills, and survive,and be subject to the abuse, there is always a way out without going thru the desperate measures of taking someones life, it makes you no better than the man that abused you.
In my case, my husband was best friends with the police chief and the other policemen in town. They thought he was great. Tell me wise woman what a person is to do in a case like that? You shouldn't comment on other peoples circumstances. You haven't walked in their shoes. As I said in my last post, murder isn't the answer, but don't come on here and degrade all women that have ever been in an abusive relationship. Sometimes it is almost impossible to get out. Especially if you live in the abusers home town and you have no one that you can trust to tell what's going on and no one to help
you. Oh, and by the way, just because a woman is the victim of abuse doesn't mean that they NEED their man to support them. I have supported myself my entire adult life. I have my college degree and have always had a great job. Until you have lived it, you don't know what you would do. Some of us live in fear of what will happen if we leave and they find us. It is terrible. I know that after 11 years, my abuser would kill me if he found me. There is not one doubt in my mind. I know that alot of other women are dealing with the same thing. My heart goes out to them. I pray that they find a way out. It takes a STRONG woman to leave. In most cases they have to leave all of their belongings, hide out, move away, and start over. That doesn't sound like something that a weak person would do, does it?
black woman in missouri

AOL

#18 Oct 11, 2006
well first of all mam i did not mean to degrade anyone, and i am sorry if i offended you, maybe in your case things were different but you can not tell me that any police force would stand behind someone abusing their wife, did you ever try going to the chief of police, was there ever a report of abuse filed with the police department? or were you just assuming that nothing would be done because he was friends with the chief of police,and others that worked on the force,no probably not i can not imagine a chief of police taking sides with a man who was abusing his wife. so by you not reporting the abuse and letting it go on you made it possible for him to abuse you and keep on abusing you, had you reported it maybe it could have stopped and you could have had a way out before it got so bad.I would also like to inform you that i was hit by my ex husband but i had enough since to realize it was only going to get worse so i did get out. i did not try to cover it up or hide it and make like we were happy, you should have told someone regardless if you felt you could not trust them, and if he was such good friends with the police department they would have helped him and you because they would have been aware of the problem. We need to learn to accept responsibility for our own actions instead of trying to shift the blame to someone else. No matter how many college degrees you have apparently you did not have enough common since to remove yourself from the situation when it started happening instead of letting it get to the point it did before you left. I would also like to say to you if its been 11 years since you left the abuser do you honestly think he even thinks about killing you, he has moved on with his life and you should try to put the past behind you and live for the future.
Been There

United States

#19 Oct 12, 2006
black woman in missouri wrote:
well first of all mam i did not mean to degrade anyone, and i am sorry if i offended you, maybe in your case things were different but you can not tell me that any police force would stand behind someone abusing their wife, did you ever try going to the chief of police, was there ever a report of abuse filed with the police department? or were you just assuming that nothing would be done because he was friends with the chief of police,and others that worked on the force,no probably not i can not imagine a chief of police taking sides with a man who was abusing his wife. so by you not reporting the abuse and letting it go on you made it possible for him to abuse you and keep on abusing you, had you reported it maybe it could have stopped and you could have had a way out before it got so bad.I would also like to inform you that i was hit by my ex husband but i had enough since to realize it was only going to get worse so i did get out. i did not try to cover it up or hide it and make like we were happy, you should have told someone regardless if you felt you could not trust them, and if he was such good friends with the police department they would have helped him and you because they would have been aware of the problem. We need to learn to accept responsibility for our own actions instead of trying to shift the blame to someone else. No matter how many college degrees you have apparently you did not have enough common since to remove yourself from the situation when it started happening instead of letting it get to the point it did before you left. I would also like to say to you if its been 11 years since you left the abuser do you honestly think he even thinks about killing you, he has moved on with his life and you should try to put the past behind you and live for the future.
I have enough common sense not to comment on issues that I know nothing about.
Joyce K

Overland Park, KS

#20 Oct 12, 2006
I was a victim of an abusive husband for 14 years. I am one of the women who were stuck-3 young kids, no job, no career, and constantly berated for being dumb, ugly, no one would want me, and I could not live if it werent for him. He threw me out of the house after he beat me up. I went to the police, but, 22 years ago, women didnt have shelters to go to and the police considered it a "domestic matter". I moved in with my Mom for 2 years, got a nursing licence and proved that I was worthy of a life. The last time he beat me up I was 7 months pregnant with my third child who is now 30 and has a doctorate degree. No help from the sperm donor whatsoever. There are many times I wish I would have had a gun in my hand as he was beating me to a bloody pulp, though. My grown children respect him for who he is and I respect them by never discussing the past history, but I hate him and will to my dying day.
Once abused

Sullivan, MO

#21 Oct 14, 2006
Amen. I was the breadwinner, but if the police won't come out, or say they don't deal with that sort of thing (and that's how it was a decade ago in this area) an exparte isn't worth the paper it's written on. There are too many people that don't want to get involved and leave a woman on her own. It's easy to say what a woman should do, unless you are that woman with no where to go. Leaving is fine, but you have to have a destination, especially if you have children. Now a woman doesn't have to be in the position of being the one to charge the man. If she's bruised, he goes to jail. I'm so glad of the changes. But we still have a long way to go as a society to end the scourge of domestic abuse.
Been There wrote:
<quoted text>In my case, my husband was best friends with the police chief and the other policemen in town. They thought he was great. Tell me wise woman what a person is to do in a case like that? You shouldn't comment on other peoples circumstances. You haven't walked in their shoes. As I said in my last post, murder isn't the answer, but don't come on here and degrade all women that have ever been in an abusive relationship. Sometimes it is almost impossible to get out. Especially if you live in the abusers home town and you have no one that you can trust to tell what's going on and no one to help
you. Oh, and by the way, just because a woman is the victim of abuse doesn't mean that they NEED their man to support them. I have supported myself my entire adult life. I have my college degree and have always had a great job. Until you have lived it, you don't know what you would do. Some of us live in fear of what will happen if we leave and they find us. It is terrible. I know that after 11 years, my abuser would kill me if he found me. There is not one doubt in my mind. I know that alot of other women are dealing with the same thing. My heart goes out to them. I pray that they find a way out. It takes a STRONG woman to leave. In most cases they have to leave all of their belongings, hide out, move away, and start over. That doesn't sound like something that a weak person would do, does it?
Joyce K

Overland Park, KS

#22 Oct 15, 2006
Once abused wrote:
Amen. I was the breadwinner, but if the police won't come out, or say they don't deal with that sort of thing (and that's how it was a decade ago in this area) an exparte isn't worth the paper it's written on. There are too many people that don't want to get involved and leave a woman on her own. It's easy to say what a woman should do, unless you are that woman with no where to go. Leaving is fine, but you have to have a destination, especially if you have children. Now a woman doesn't have to be in the position of being the one to charge the man. If she's bruised, he goes to jail. I'm so glad of the changes. But we still have a long way to go as a society to end the scourge of domestic abuse.
<quoted text>
I lived in my husband's home town too. Just blocks away from his mother, his brother and his friends. Do you think anyone would believe that he was abusive? He was Dr. Jeckl and Mr. Hyde. He even convinced the kids that none of what happened to me had any effect on them. For my kids's sakes, I never bring up what happened, but, even though this happened 28 years ago, it is still very fresh in my mind. I have tried therapy but I am still bitter, hurt and angry that this man took my house, 2 of my kids, and no one would believe that he was the abuser. I have a wonderful husband now, I have bought and paid for our home, I have been on wonderful trips and have a good life, but once you have been abused, it just never really goes away. He still lives in the same house where the abuse took place, the grandkids love him, and I have had occasion to see him at the grandkids birthday parties. I have tried to be civil to him but he completely ignores my presence. I don't want to see him anymore, but I won't hurt my daughter's feelings. He remarried as well. Since he never wanted anyone else to believe he was an abuser, I assume he has never beat up on her. He's cold, and controlling, but I was made out to be the one who was the lunatic!

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