Murt Resolution Declares April Parent...

Murt Resolution Declares April Parental Alienation Awareness Month

Posted in the Adams County Forum


King Of Prussia, PA

#2 Apr 28, 2012
April 25 is Parental Alienation Awareness Day


Did you know that Parental Alienation Awareness Day is coming up on April 25, 2012? Do you know what Parental Alienation or Parental Alienation Syndrome is? Most people experience it, or are affected by it in some way, however slightly or severely it shows itself. Many times, after a high-conflict divorce, one parent (or both parents) will say an offhanded negative about the other parent, for instance during a pick up or drop off time, "Your dad/mom is always late; he/she doesn't care."
Now, imagine that type of statement occurring on a regular basis, combined with one parent (the Alienating Parent) doing the following incrementally over time:
1. Confiding in the child (Keep adult matters away from the children, i.e., anything to do with the divorce, money issues, difficulties with your spouse, etc.)
2. Asking kids to spy on the other parents, or keep secrets from the other parent ("We have a vacation to Disney planned to for this summer, but don't tell daddy because it's his visitation time and he'll take the vacation away from us").
3. Withholding medical, social, or academic information from the other parent ("Mom wasn't at my recital, she must not care," when mom did not know about a recital).
4. Changing child's name to remove the association of the targeted parent.
5. Cultivating dependency (in healthy parent/child relationships the parents' job is to instill independence in the child as they grow, but in an unhealthy parent/child relationship the child is encouraged to remain dependant on alienating parent).
How do These Behaviors Work?
1. It furthers cohesion and alignment with the alienated parent.
2. It creates a psychological distance between the child and the targeted parent.
3. It intensifies the targeted parent's anger and hurt over the child's behavior.
4. It incites differences between the child and the targeted parent.
The 8 Manifestations of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)(by Dr. Richard Gardner)
1. These eight symptoms of PAS are the specific symptoms found in a child who has been successfully alienated:
2. The child will lead a campaign of denigration against the alienated parent.
3. The child provides weak, frivolous, and absurd rationalizations for the deprecation, "Mom wore flip-flops to my party so I don't want to see her again." A lack of ambivalence in the child about the alienating parent, "I worship my dad, he is perfect.
4. The “independent thinker” phenomenon, "I have free will, mom has nothing to do with my decision to never see you again".
5.(Appearance of the) Absence of guilt of how badly they are treating the alienated parent, "dad doesn't deserve to see me, I don't care if he dies in a car accident".*Although underneath these statements is guilt, which usually presents itself when the child realizes what happened to them*
6. Reflexive support for the Alienating Parent in the parental conflict, "I don't need to see your bank statements, I know Mom is right that you spent my college funds"
7. Presence of borrowe scenarios, "I don't want to see my mom because I only want good childhood memories"
8. Rejection of the extended family members of the targeted parent,*this includes step-parents, grand-parents, half-siblings, aunts and uncles, cousins, and even the once-loved family pet, etc*
These situations may seem severe, and parental alienation does not have to be so severe, nor does it have to lead to Parental Alienation Syndrome. In addition, there is clear distinctions between an alienated child and an estranged child (when the child as valid reasons to cease contact the other parent).
All of this information can be found in Dr. Richard's Gardner's books (he originally coined the term Parental Alienation Syndrome) and Dr. Amy J.L. Baker's book (Adult Children of Parental Alienation: Breaking the Tie That Binds).

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