I am killer Troy Brownlow

[Kurt Vonnegut]

In 1980 I entered Nanine's house after knocking on the door and she let me in because she knew me from school. She was 15 and I was 16.

I did not have any intention of doing her bodily harm; however, I got turned on and decided to rape her.

She fought so I took out my knife and persuaded her back, back, back until there was no place else to go.

She ended up in her sister's bedroom on a water bed and I slashed her 86 times.

Of course, I am sorry; however, I can't confess to the crime because Laine, Gina, Kay, my parents believe me when I tell them a big dude did it.

It is Nanine's fault. She should not have put up such a fight. I didn't know such a small girl could fight so hard. She took my knife from me and I was cut very badly taking it back. I bled all over the place and it was not from a cut from a Gatorade bottle. I made that up.

Killer, Troy Brownlow.

[target 2007]

youre one sick person troy......... get a life

[Kurt Vonnegut]

Yes, Target, I am a sick person. My appeal is now on file. If I get out of the pen, you can be certain that I'll be returned on some unrelated offense. I am sharing a cell with a big Black guy. Yesterday he told me he needed some time and I wasn't sure what he meant. It turned out that he wanted to masturbate and didn't want me around watching. I'm glad he didn't want me around if you get my drift. I don't have to tell you life in here is not a picnic. I find it hilarious that there are some who still believe in my innocence. How can any intelligent person believe in my plan B in which someone else murdered Nanine. I'm reminded of Timothy Masters who killed when he was 15 as viciously as I did and maybe worse by mutilating the young girl. Timothy is also in prison claiming an optometrist, a doctor who took pictures of young girls using his bathroom did it. Tim and I are innocent and there are those who believe it. They believe through faith. "Faith is believing in something you know ain't so." Gotta go. If I get out I'll deal with that snitch Gerald Jorgensen. Me, Killer Troy

[target 2007]

ok

[Kurt Vonnegut]

Thanks Target: It is nice to have someone with whom to correspond. I think Laine has abandoned me. I don't hear from her any more. I'm afraid she wised up. She is intelligent. How long can an intelligent person believe a preposterous story? Really now: A Gatorade glass jar that didn't exist in glass in 1980 except for limited disbursement to athletes such as in football to quench thirst. I hear from Gina periodcially; however, she is starting to weaken. She's not as intelligent as Laine; however, the "big dude" did it wears on her. Your request or mandate that I should get a life: As I said in a prior post: I do have a life. It is life in prison.

My mom's prayer is answered: I now have plenty of time to write that book. A book is best written when the author has lived what he writes; I will write such a book after my appeal fails.

I feel bad for my mom and dad; they knew from day one that I butchered Nanine and kept a lid on it. I was cut pretty bad. They added two and two and got four. Keep in touch, Target. Thanks. I'll post dates for my appearance. Killer Troy

[Kurt Vonnegut]

Gangs. I've been in plenty of jails; however, this pen is a living hell. The guards are pretty sadistic. I have to associate with somebody. It is hard for me because I am not Mexican; I am not Black; I am not White; I am half Black; I am half White. I've been butt-f___ed and am labelled a chomo, the worst of labels, a child molester. I'm tempted to ask for isolation before someone drives a shenk into me; however, if I go into isolation I'll never get out because it will be assumed I'm a snitch.

It is amazing how fast news travels. The law library contains a computer that will tell what you are in for. They will find out. I don't dare look at anyone eyeball to eyeball. When it is time to fight, I fight. If I don't fight, I will be killed. I dare not go into the yard.

Mom! Dad! if only you had turned me in when i was sixteen. I would have been tried as a child and would have been out in five years. I love you: Murderer/Chomo, Killer Troy Brownlow.

[Kurt Vonnegut]

GWEN GRIMES <[e-mail]> wrote:

Twenty Seven years ago this date, September 4, 1980, Troy Brownlow walked into my home and changed forever life as I knew it. Every day I think what would life be like if that day had been different for me. I only I had stayed home that night, if only I had never met John Hastings, if only I had succeeded in my marriage with Richard, If only, if only, if only, if only, if only. If only I had been a better parent and not ever left my children alone.

But reality remains and here I sit alone in South Dakota, my one remaining daughter in Arizona and Richard in Denver, Nanine in an unlikely place beyond the imagining of any parent. All of our lives separate, all of our memories stuck on that day that unites us in a way that is unchanging.

Though Troy Brownlow sits in his comfy cell, where he is given his daily comforts and medical and dental and a lifestyle of his choosing from that day he can never feel the pain he has sentenced the three of us to for the rest of our lives.

I forever relive this day on September 4, of every year until I am no longer here.

Troy Brownlow wrote ("And so it goes):

I murdered Nanine Grimes. Her mother, Gwen, can't escape the horror of losing her daughter. My plan B in which I pushed Nanine into a big dude and ran is a shameful avenue I chose to escape the consequences of conduct and action I chose. Gwen is correct: I chose my life style which included so much I can't bring myself to regurgitate.

I can't agree with Gwen on "comfy cell" as I'd rather be dead than live a lifetime in my cell where catching it in the butt is not my idea of comfy.

I've made some friends; I'm told that my appeal is destined for file thirteen. If I don't catch a shenk in my butt for being a chomo as Nanine was just a child when I attempted rape.

Mom and Dad: I love you but I blame you for not reporting what you knew the day after you learned of Nanine's death. Your murdering son, Troy Brownlow

[gina]

Kurt you are one very ill individual. How can you take this and make it a game? Is your life so boring that you sit at your box and make up sick jokes about others. I think you belong locked away also.

[Amazed Reader]

Kurt don't you have any more talent then posting on this forum ?!?!? Aren't you a famous writer or something..... don't you have something better to do then posting the SAME lines of garbage over and over, your point has been made, over and over and over and over!
You are a sick old koot to sit in this forum and act like you are Troy........ how can you be so consumed with this story?
Don't you have anything better to do with your time???? Stupid question if you did you would not spend all this time on this forum.
Are you that lonely that this is all you have to do? Another stupid question because if you did you would not have so many posting.

[Kurt Vonnegut]

Gina: What are you doing in Gloversville, NY? Are you in accord with Laine who says: "But the day will come when Troy Brownlow walks out of prison a free vindicated man with his head held high, holding his daughter, surrounded by his family and friends who love and believe in him." Gina, honey, I feel like O.J. Simpson. He has so many friends and family who love him. The guy is a murderer like me. Hey! My appeal is in the works, but I've told you that already.

Mom: Dad: I love you. Mom: you could have won an academy award for your TV performance. You knew I was guilty and yet you acted out your role in saying: "We prayed; however, the verdict did not come out right." Great mom! You prayed to god that he would enter into the jury's mind and come up with a not guilty verdict. You scrapped your moral duty to turn me in and then expected god to bring you salvation. I wonder if god will take into account your immorality. I still love you, your son: Troy Brownlow, attempted rape resulting in murder for which my mom, Betty, sweeps under the rug much like the pope sweeps his pedophile priests from diocese to diocese. Hello to O.J. who may be joining me for his recent break-in with a gun: Love you buddy.~~ "And so it goes."

[gina]

Kurt I'm on vacation I deserve one. Not that it is any of your Business. I like how you pretend to be Troy, I think you may need a little help yourself. I have really no idea what is going on with any appeals. I hope that everyone involved in this situation is in good health and doing well. I have no idea where or how you get your information, but your not funny.

[Kurt Vonnegut]

Gina, honey, I am still praying that you find a good man. Give up on me. My appeal is summed up in one word: "Predetermined." You are so intelligent, honey, how can you believe for one second that I am innocent? "I like how you pretend to be Troy," ... "but your not funny," when you meant "you're" or "you are" but, hey, I committed far worse error in my life.

Dad and mom: They are still calling me "chomo" and it will be a long time before I heal: If you get my drift. I love you and those who thought and continue to think I am innocent. Your son, Troy: Murderer.~~ "And so it goes." ~~ Keep in touch through this forum as I have access. Do you like the way I wrapped myself in the blanket for my picture?

[gina]

kurt you can be honest with me! Who are you? A reporter? Does anyone know who Kurt is or where he came from. Were you friends with Troy in highschool? I really am interested in finding out more about you. Not to much just really how you became involved with all this. Were you one of Troys cell mates? You seem to know alot of stuff about being in there. So get back to me when you have a free moment. Which seems to be often. E-mail me if you like to keep it private. [e-mail].

[Kurt Vonnegut]

Gina, honey: I wish you had not touched basis with that a-hole.* I've known all along Kurt's identity. I have a plan B in mind for him. Eventually, I'll establish a relationship with a big dude who when he gets out will find "Kurt" and do to him what I have planned for Gerald Jorgensen. I trusted Gerald when I told him how I backed Nanine into her sister's bedroom with the waterbed in it and you know the rest of the story.

Mom/Dad: Thanks for your support; however, I needed it back in 1980 when you knew the truth. Your silence condemned me to lock-up for life. I love you: Your chomo son, murderer Troy.

*Honey: Can you send something for chapped skin? If you can't, Laine will.

[Gina]

WOW Kurt I had no idea the hatred you have in your body for all of us. I'm really dissapointed in you. Not that you care. I thought I could talk to you and learn more about all of this I know now that I was wrong. I think you really want to be Troy, Don't you KURT?????????

[Kurt Vonnegut Up Here]

Gina, beautiful Gina, whom Troy Brownlow does not deserve: If god works in mysterious ways he certainly f-uped on this one. I confess a great resentment, not hatred, for O.J. Simpson's friends and family who lick at his sweat glands knowing he is a vicious murderer, actually, far more wicked and evil than Troy. The resentment extends to those who lick at Troy's sweat glands when they know or should know that he committed the atrocity as charged. Kent and Betty knew almost immediately that Troy had butchered the little girl and kept quiet and prayed that their god would intervene in their son's behalf. You have pretty well accepted Troy's guilt; Laine, Kim and maybe another lick the sweat gland.

Troy was 16 and his silence can be rationalized; however, his parents, Kent and Betty, are worse in conduct than their son. It is far easier to despise Kent and Betty than to despise Troy.

You are wrong. I will enjoy ccommuniqué with you. You need to clarify your last sentence ending in a comma: "I think you really want to be Troy," ~~ "And so it goes."

[gina]

Kurt are you missing in action? We could only hope so right.

[Kurt Vonnegut Up Here]

My beautiful Gina. I've been doing my soldiering on the quite lane because your last comment to me mandated it: "I refuse to talk anymore with you until you tell me who you are. Good Day . Gina"
I really enjoyed our chit chat; I sent you a lot of information about me which included my picture. You cut me off. I suppose I can be grateful I was cut off as opposed to cut off where my four exes cut me off. You wouldn't be happy with me; I would be happy with you. Killer Troy knows now what a gem he had in you. You should despise his parents because if they had any morality they would have fessed up as they knew Troy was the killer. Instead they pray to their god for influence in the jury's vote: Such hypocrites. I check my email in futile hope to see a letter from you. End your last sentence in a question mark.

[gina]

You can't be serious Kurt, I never got a photo of you. Nor do I ever intend on having a relationship with you in a physical way. It is really sad that you blame The Brownlows for this, They are not at fault in any way. Were you there Kurt? Are you the Big Guy Troy talks about? C-mon Kurt you don't have to be afraid someone is already convicted of the crime. I just want to know, did you help? Somedays I get angry because I will never know the truth ever. The only one who knows and would tell the honest truth is no longer here. Gina

[Kurt Vonnegut Up Here]

My beautiful Gina: I think we can appropriate this thread and convey chit chat because, as opposed to the original thread, it is not about the slain little girl whom even your sister Laura believes Troy did it. I am aghast that you mention "Big Guy Troy talks about?" You are degreed and command big wages; how can your intellect tell you that Troy's parents had nothing to do with it.

Recently, like three days ago, a 14-year-old was arrested when they found a huge cache of weapons in his house, some bought for him by his mother, for a Columbine-type slaughter of innocents (with Kim still crying out: "Troy was only a baby.")

You are college educated and still cry out for the "honest truth" getting angry for not knowing it. Take this to the bank, my beautiful Gina, with Kurt so content knowing killer Troy will never again peruse of the sweet scent down south:

There is/was no "big dude," no "Gatorade" bottle; however, there was the knife Kent and Betty bought for Troy and there was the deep cuts on Troy that concerned Kent and Betty who realized the next day where they came from (pardon the prep).

The parents have the pious hypocrisy to pray within the trinity of prayer: Self-serving, Intercessory, Imprecatory that their baby "jew" morphed into deity will enter the juror's mind and find "baby" Troy not guilty and in the alternative, at least, allow him entry into a heavenly turf so he can play on the merry-go-round with his victim. Beautiful Gina: I am sickened.~~ "And so it goes.

Note: Revisit your mail; you will find my picture. Only you can turn my hot water into a cold drip by standing by your assertion: "I refuse to talk anymore with you until you tell me who you are. Good Day . Gina"