Protect the legality of beating your wife on the courthouse steps on Sundays because the dance halls must be closed.
No work may be done on Sunday unless it is done by a mechanical devise that doesn’t involve labor and every adult male must bring a rifle to church to ward off Indian attacks.
You may not sell Musical instruments or alcoholic beverages unless you made them yourself as a craft but you may purchase commercial alcohol in a private club.
A state permit must be obtained to launch a missile or be a Fortune teller. Lifeguards must be present at apartment complex pools, but only after 11:00 PM.
Dogs may not be on the beach during the summer months during the daytime or the owner may be arrested so enjoy the beach after dark.“Vicious Dogs” may not be kept within the city limits and bitches in heat shall be confined
It is illegal to get a tattoo, display a confederate flag on a courthouse or keep a horse in a bathtub and they are to wear pants at all times.
It is illegal to give or receive oral sex in the privacy of your home, urinate in the waters of any park or sleep on the beach at night.
If a man promises to marry a woman, the marriage must take place and sexually oriented businesses may not open for business on Sundays.
Persons may not change clothes in a gas station without permission of the owner but the Fire Department may blow up your house.
When approaching a four way or blind intersection in a vehicle you must stop 100 ft from the intersection and discharge a firearm into the air but it is illegal to discharge a firearm in the city limits.
Performing a U-turn within 1,000 feet of an intersection is illegal unless it isn’t.
If you inadvertently kill someone while committing suicide it is a capital offense, punishable by death.
Let’s Protect New York and New Jersey Laws too:
Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business but it is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing “body hugging clothing” and a fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. It is illegal for men to go topless in the center of town or on the Boardwalk.
It is illegal to eat in the street in residential neighborhoods, and the only beverage you can drink on the beach is water in a clear plastic bottle.
A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket and slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 PM.
It is against the law to throw a ball at someone’s head for fun and the penalty for jumping off a building is death.
New Yorkers cannot dissolve a marriage for irreconcilable differences, unless they both agree to it and while riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door.
Citizens may not greet each other by “putting one’s thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers”.
We passed 40,000 new laws this year. Celebrate your freedom to pass more laws!