God Angrily Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule

God Angrily Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule

There are 3 comments on the www.theonion.com story from Mar 13, 2008, titled God Angrily Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule. In it, www.theonion.com reports that:

Responding to recent events on Earth, God, the omniscient creator-deity worshiped by billions of followers of various faiths for more than 6,000 years, angrily clarified His longtime stance against humans ...

Worshiped by Christians, Jews, and Muslims alike, God said His name has been invoked countless times over the centuries as a reason to kill in what He called "an unending cycle of violence."

The press conference came as a surprise to humankind, as God rarely intervenes in earthly affairs. As a matter of longstanding policy, He has traditionally left the task of interpreting His message and divine will to clerics, rabbis, priests, imams, and Biblical scholars. Theologians and laymen alike have been given the task of pondering His ineffable mysteries, deciding for themselves what to do as a matter of faith. His decision to manifest on the material plane was motivated by the deep sense of shock, outrage, and sorrow He felt over the Sept. 11 violence carried out in His name, and over its dire potential ramifications around the globe.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at www.theonion.com.

“xcntrik.wordpres s.com”

Since: Mar 07

Location hidden

#1 Mar 13, 2008
So, you gonna listen?
investment guru

Spring, TX

#2 Mar 14, 2008
These clowns could justify anything "in His name".



“The Indestructible Mooze”

Since: Feb 09

Moozetown, Watacountry

#3 Jun 15, 2009
Xcntrik InVidor wrote:
So, you gonna listen?
Is this really the best "news" the exalted Topix Editor of Vidor can come up with ?

People need NEWS, idiot !!!!!!!! You can keep your funny stuff for the comix pages ...

Unless, of course, you feel the burning desire to be fired ...

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