Monopoly Stickers

Cambridge, UK

#1 Apr 23, 2012
Emailed to Maccy D's today. Grr!!

Dear Sir/Madam,

It pains me deeply to have to write you with a complaint having been a fan of your meaty treats, both with and without the incentive of winning up to £50,000, since the Monopoly promotion began. However, as an avid collector of the Monopoly stickers (I blame the fact that I have a mild Obsessive Compulsive DIsorder), I feel compelled to let you know that I have now been "mugged off" (this is a technical term) on several occasions with regard to the amount of stickers that I have been given with my meals.

Why just today I frequented the Newbury Park Drive Thru branch of McDonald's with a view to adding to my sticker collection and, after perusing the menu, decided to order a medium Quarter Pounder Deluxe meal minus the bacon (gives me wind) with a bottle of water and a side order of mozzarella dippers (possibly a little greedy but I am recovering from gastroenteritis and am a little on the skinny side). Anyhoo, I calculated that I should have been given 9 delightful stickers to attach to my cherished Monopoly game board. HOW VERY WRONG I WAS!!

After being handed my food through the quaint little Drive Thru window, I drove to a shady spot in the car park and reclined my seat so as to enhance my lunchtime experience. Upon delving into my brown paper bag, much like a young child rummages through a xmas stocking, I was disgruntled to discover that I had only been given TWO stickers on the carton of fries. And that was it! Having spent the morning cleaning my grandmother's house I had been looking forward to potentially winning a BMW Mini,£50K cash or a free Big Mac. But NOOOOO! My chances were seriously depleted by this sticker underachievement. I feel that (to use the child-at-xmas analogy once more) this was the equivalent of expecting an Atari ST with Outrun and Bomb Jack included, only to discover that Santa had brought a lump of coal!

So I approached the drive thru window once again, this time on foot (unorthodox I know). I explained that I had not received the appropriate amount of stickers. The lady at the window looked at me with what can only be described as abject disgust before thrusting 6 stickers at me through the window without so much as an apology. In the haze of my disappointment I did not manage to catch her name before she slammed her little window shut in much the same way that Leatherface slams shut the abattoir door upon procuring another victim in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

I tell you I was hurt! HURT! And I was still one sticker down. It could have been the much desired Mayfair sticker. THAT WOMAN MAY HAVE COST ME 50 GRAND!!! I could have spent that money building an orphanage. Think of all the children who will now grow up outside the protective busom of parenthood. I am sure it brings a tear to your eye.

I have found in the past that, due to my dislike of fizzy sugary drinks, I hardly ever get given the Monopoly stickers on my requested bottle of water. As a result of this I have Yours found myself short of stickers on several other occasions recently but, until now, I have suffered in silence.

I hope you can see your way clear to send me some Monopoly stickers as compensation for the mental anguish I have been through on this, and several other, occasions. I would be ever so grateful. My address is:

Yours faithfully

Vicky Franks

PS- As I am already writing to you I just thought I'd ask why you use a clown as the McDonald's mascot. EVERYBODY knows that clowns are sinister. Has nobody at McDonald's heard of the American serial killer John Wayne Gacy? Have none of you read 'It' by Stephen King? Maybe you could change the mascot to something a little more benign and less threatening. Like a kitten. Or a hamster. Just a thought.

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