Man jailed when daughter fails to get diploma

There are 46 comments on the TwinCities.com story from May 13, 2008, titled Man jailed when daughter fails to get diploma. In it, TwinCities.com reports that:

A man ordered by a judge to make sure his daughter hit the books has found himself in jail because she failed to earn a high school equivalency diploma.

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“Get over yourself...”

Since: Jan 08

You're not that important

#44 May 13, 2008
dee wrote:
I'm sorry, but I agree that this man should have never been arrested!
If she repeatedly skipped school, and for some time now, the courts should have placed her in a junvenile center until she did the work she needed to get her diploma. If she didn't get up after being told too, then it really is her fault, not his. She has a child? Well, at least her parents didn't let her quit at 16....
At her age, she should take responsibility for her actions. Then again, too many times these kids think they know it all, and feel as if they don't even need school.
I've been having trouble with my twin grandsons. They are 14 1/2. I have told them that if they don't straighten up, I'll have to give them up to the courts. They told me, good, then they won't have to hear me nag. I told them if they would just do what they know they have too, I wouldn't be a nag'n. They lied all the time. One of them has been caught stealing from family members.
They think that they are invincible, and that laws don't apply to them. One told me that if he ever has to go before the judge that he'd tell him to f*** himself. That's another thing I have a problem with, the language! They watched those cartoons (South Park, Family Guy, Simpsons, and American Dad, even when they were told not too) that has kids cussing and they think they can too.
I'll be 56 tomorrow, and my heart is bad. I just don't know what to do. They both are bigger than me, and have treat'n me. I know if I give them up, they won't be in my family anymore, and that's the only reason I have put up with it for the last 6 months. I've tried time out, standing at the wall, and I even made them stay in their room, but nothing works. And suggestions?
I feel for you. I see kids like that every day. Where are their parents? Do you have custody? If not, then make their parents raise them. If you do have custody, and they are as out of control as you say, I would turn them over to the courts. I hate to see grandparents raising grandkids. I think once you have raised yours, you should get a break.
Hope everything turns out ok.
Jason

Stamford, CT

#45 May 14, 2008
If they enforced this on Black people, then 90% of them would become educated.
Madman

Saint Paul, MN

#46 May 14, 2008
Fed Up in NM wrote:
<quoted text>LOL. I said I spanked my kids when they were younger. I haven't had to do so in ages. I never used a belt. Wooden spoon and my hand. But, since she has already lost her make-up, computer, iPod, radio, cell-phone, and tv there is nothing else she can lose. I already know how I am going to deal with it, I am just curious what you think should be done. Yes, she is my most troublesome child. Luckily, telling her teacher 'whatever' is about the worst she ever does. Guess my early spanking worked after all!
Also, did you get a chance to read the tale of two families?
I never thought of confiscating the makeup -- that would have been devastating. Where was this post when I needed it? I spanked my children when they were younger, and as they got closer to being too old for that, I escalated. I went to Home Depot, and got a large paint stir stick, for 5-gallon buckets, and wrote in large bold font BOARD OF EDUCATION on both sides. I showed it to them, and explained, "This is the Board of Education. From now on, whoever misbehaves will be summoned before the Board. Don't be naughty, because you don't want to be sanctioned by the Board of Education." They got it! They did not become perfect, but usually telling them, "keep that up and you will be summoned before the Board of Education," or "You don't want the Board, do you?" did the trick -- the acting out would stop quickly. I never did actually employ the Board -- it was my version of Teddy Roosevelt.

Your Tale of Two Families is great! It is not surprising that the "enlightened" parents had terrible results -- they are so busy being friends with their children and analyzing the emotions present that they overlook the most basic dynamic in the world: THEY ARE THE PARENTS. They are already in charge, but shrink from that responsibility. I had endless arguments with my ex over this point, because she announced that she was their friend, and could rarely say NO to anything.

I told her that I am their Father, not their friend, and was never afraid to decline their endless requests while out shopping. She would take them into a drugstore to pick up a prepaid prescription, and spend $40.00 she could ill afford on junk they begged and pleaded for. I would Just Say No, put it back NOW -- and they did.

My daughter summed up their relationship perfectly when she was 10 -- she said, "I love you, Mommy. I just don't respect you." To this day, she blows off most everything her mother says to her, and she is 19. Your less educated family was much wiser, overall -- the proof is in the results.

I would ground your daughter for her mouthing off to her teacher. As my daughter got older, that was always the "nuclear option," no going to the mall, no phone calls, no TV watching, computer, and no game playing -- just homework or reading. She had outgrown the Board of Education.

Let us know what works for you!
Voice of Reason

Dallastown, PA

#47 May 14, 2008
Bob wrote:
When corporal punishment was taken out of schools in the 60's, things have gone downhill ever since. Beating an education into a student doesn't work, but it did get the attention of the
disruptive students. Teachers had respect because the parents provided the same discipline at home, when they heard of their childs school indiscretions. Today, parents shove a lawsuit under administration/teachers noses when their child is verbally disciplined. Only gonna get worse. Live with it and above all, lay on more timeouts.
I've had the same thoughts, too. I think a win-win situation can resolve this. The school adopts a policy of either corporal punishment or none. For example, if the school's policy is for corporal punishment, then the parent signs a non-consent form saying lay off my kid. If the school's policy is no corporal punishment without authorization, then the parent can sign a consent form saying you can discipline my kid if necesary.

This assumes, of course, that the methods of corporal punishment are well defined.

Anyway, everybody wins.

“Get over yourself...”

Since: Jan 08

You're not that important

#48 May 14, 2008
Madman wrote:
<quoted text>
I never thought of confiscating the makeup -- that would have been devastating. Where was this post when I needed it? I spanked my children when they were younger, and as they got closer to being too old for that, I escalated. I went to Home Depot, and got a large paint stir stick, for 5-gallon buckets, and wrote in large bold font BOARD OF EDUCATION on both sides. I showed it to them, and explained, "This is the Board of Education. From now on, whoever misbehaves will be summoned before the Board. Don't be naughty, because you don't want to be sanctioned by the Board of Education." They got it! They did not become perfect, but usually telling them, "keep that up and you will be summoned before the Board of Education," or "You don't want the Board, do you?" did the trick -- the acting out would stop quickly. I never did actually employ the Board -- it was my version of Teddy Roosevelt.
Your Tale of Two Families is great! It is not surprising that the "enlightened" parents had terrible results -- they are so busy being friends with their children and analyzing the emotions present that they overlook the most basic dynamic in the world: THEY ARE THE PARENTS. They are already in charge, but shrink from that responsibility. I had endless arguments with my ex over this point, because she announced that she was their friend, and could rarely say NO to anything.
I told her that I am their Father, not their friend, and was never afraid to decline their endless requests while out shopping. She would take them into a drugstore to pick up a prepaid prescription, and spend $40.00 she could ill afford on junk they begged and pleaded for. I would Just Say No, put it back NOW -- and they did.
My daughter summed up their relationship perfectly when she was 10 -- she said, "I love you, Mommy. I just don't respect you." To this day, she blows off most everything her mother says to her, and she is 19. Your less educated family was much wiser, overall -- the proof is in the results.
I would ground your daughter for her mouthing off to her teacher. As my daughter got older, that was always the "nuclear option," no going to the mall, no phone calls, no TV watching, computer, and no game playing -- just homework or reading. She had outgrown the Board of Education.
Let us know what works for you!
Glad to know I am not alone. I had a wooden spoon that had the names of all the kids written on it. The sad part about the make up was she was going to get it back after school yesterday, but didn't because of the smart mouth. Poor her.
Madman

Saint Paul, MN

#49 May 14, 2008
Fed Up in NM wrote:
<quoted text>Glad to know I am not alone. I had a wooden spoon that had the names of all the kids written on it. The sad part about the make up was she was going to get it back after school yesterday, but didn't because of the smart mouth. Poor her.
Horror of HORRORS! Now she will have to get by on her God-given looks and charm, free of artificial supplement. Some may call me a crazed, wild-eyed Leftist, but I suspect she will survive the ordeal just fine, with no permanent scars on her face nor her delicate little psyche.

I suppose a spoon would have worked, but there is something so inherently evil and wicked-sounding about facing a Board of Education .... Everyone knows that the dish ran off with the spoon!

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