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Duke for Mayor

Akron, OH

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#413
Apr 2, 2013
 

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-tip- wrote:
<quoted text>
The Bible does not prohibit alcohol, but "very fundamentalist bible based" organizations do.
Xenos is by no means a "fundamentalist bible based" organization.
I have found its members to be doctrinally illiterate.
No doubt about it then.

They're goin straight to hell.

woof

“animis opibusque parati”

Since: Oct 12

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#414
Apr 2, 2013
 

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Duke for Mayor wrote:
<quoted text>
No doubt about it then.
They're goin straight to hell.
woof
After you. ; )
Duke for Mayor

Akron, OH

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#415
Apr 2, 2013
 

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-tip- wrote:
<quoted text>
After you. ; )
http://www.youtube.com/watch...

woof

“animis opibusque parati”

Since: Oct 12

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#416
Apr 2, 2013
 
Duke for Mayor wrote:
<quoted text>
http://www.youtube.com/watch...
woof
Garbage in.
Garbage out.
Duke for Mayor

Akron, OH

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#417
Apr 2, 2013
 

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-tip- wrote:
<quoted text>
Garbage in.
Garbage out.
You callin Fred Eaglesmith garbage?

Better never set foot in Port Dover.

woof

Since: Mar 13

Reynoldsburg, OH

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#418
Apr 2, 2013
 

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Ann wrote:
In my opinion, after being involved in the church for so many years, the people really do love God and genuinely want to spread the Word. I really do like the teachings and continue to listen to them online despite not attending anymore. I do not agree with their approach to children nor do I agree with butting in to peoples lives and essentially saying "it's Gods way or get out of this group". People struggle with so many issues and sometimes those struggles take years to resolve. I think ppl should be encouraging and not quit on others by kicking them out o
f a group.
I agree with you Ann. As I have mentioned previously, I attended Xenos and did appreciate several of the teachings. Clearly these are generally a well intended group of people, however when such a significant number of people who are familiar with the "cult like features" have expressed concern about the matter then I think this should serve as a red flag. The idea of what is referred to as "church dicipline and church authority" is not a unique concept. How this concept is interpreted may vary according to the churches who practice it. However it is implimented, there should be no doubt that love, compassion and understanding should be exercised to the fullest because this is the heart of Christianity. To love one another and do unto other's as you would have them do unto you is the very foundation of the Christian faith. I agree with you when you say that it sometimes takes years for people to work through personal difficulties. In some instances the only way a person can work through their issues is under the care of a therapist. Professional therapists are experts on human behavior and issues and they know that it is not unusual for long periods of time to pass while someone is working through difficulties and because of this one of the key features of the therapeutic setting is patience on the part of the therapist. The group leaders at Xenos while well intended are NOT trained therapists. They do not hold doctorate degrees in psychology or social work and therefore are unqualified to attempt to force certain decisions on people who are struggling with difficulties that require a professional approach. One thing I can tell you is that the practice of kicking someone out of the group/church might possibly be the worst thing. So I agree that sticking beside someone who is hurting and confused about what course to take with regard to personal issues is the most common sense approach and the most loving thing to do for a fellow church friend. There's an old saying that flys are easier to catch with honey than vinegar. While this in no way suggests that condoning certain behaviors/choices that a person in the group has made or is involved in, it does mean that offering patient loving support to the individual as a person in their own right might get certain results much more quickly than ostracizing them which more often than not causes bitterness and a sense that those who were counted on have acted as hypocrites. In certain situations this can be very painful and may distance the victim even further to the degree that they no longer want to attend any church. I can tell you for a fact that I know of at least two individuals who this has happened to.
Ann

Westerville, OH

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#419
Apr 2, 2013
 

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Thank you, Darlene. I just think if a parent has questions about Xenos, they should go and check it out themselves, not take anyone else's opinions.

Since: Mar 13

Reynoldsburg, OH

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#420
Apr 2, 2013
 

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tip wrote:
<quoted text>
Sounds like a Young Democrats association.
All I can say is BRAVO! What a great analogy.

Since: Mar 13

Reynoldsburg, OH

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#421
Apr 2, 2013
 

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The above post was meant as a response to a post other than the one above it so just ignore it.
Anonymus

Grove City, OH

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#422
Apr 3, 2013
 

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Just from what I've read, do groups not have patience with people? I'm just wondering if this is a quick thing or if it's usually a gradual thing. By gradual I'm not talking less than 6 months. I'm wondering if they're a little trigger happy. I understand not wanting to poison the minds of other young impressionable adults, but if the kids are not a cancer to the group, why kick them out so quickly?
Real

Columbus, OH

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#423
Apr 14, 2013
 

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Xenos is a manipulative, controlling cult. Stay away. Conformity to their view of scripture is paramount. If you disagree, you'll be chastised by almost everyone. Believe me. You don't want to become involved with such a narrow-minded group of people.
Anon

Delaware, OH

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#425
May 12, 2013
 

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Cato duckwotrh wrote:
Xenos is nota cult, pepole just don't like to br told what they are doing is wrong.
Who r u to say say who is wrong or right. Read your bible .. No one should judge another... God is the only judge and we will all answer to him one day
Lisa

Columbus, OH

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#426
May 15, 2013
 

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Anonymous wrote:
<quoted text>
I have a friend that attends both a Xenos homechurch AND St. Brendan's (a Catholic Church in Hilliard). There has been no conflict whatsoever.
Thats nice for him, but it doesnt change the fact that I observed something entirely different. I kind of wonder how involved he is for him not to be challenged to choose one or the other. It is not typical of Xenos to tolerate a deeply involved member attending other churches - especially when its a church Xenos does not totally agree with. As I said, the man who converted was prayed for because the devil had led him astray. I also heard quite a bit of Catholic bashing.
Gone Away Too

Columbus, OH

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#427
May 15, 2013
 

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Emily Fravel wrote:
Scott Risley contacted my husband asking us why I'm "bashing" him and Xenos in public. Clearly, if you read my previous comment, I did not even mention Scott. Now, he's tooted his own horn here talking about how great he is as an elder and that was the jist of the message to my husband. He went on about how great he is, how much he served us, and how he's really hurt.
Biblically speaking, the "chain of command" so to speak is to talk first to the person who hurt or sinned against you. When I've done this in the past with Scott, his wife, other leaders, and other members I maybe got a half assed apology followed up with the reasons why the situation was my fault anyway. This is why, over the years, I learned to not go to people who sinned against me.
I was consistently nit picked over the years. I played with my hair at meetings. I dressed to stumble the men (I got that talk long after I figured out the whole modesty thing and anytime there was the teeniest hint of tightness to my shirt or cleavage.
Many dating couples are in fact controlled and very closely watched. I once put my hand on my now husband's leg during a teaching and he got pulled aside afterwards by a leader to make sure we weren't "stumbling". He also got lectured when we watched Bull Durham together. It's a sexy movie, you know. We weren't forbidden from discussing sex before we were married but we were told that we'd have a happier sex life if we didn't "stumble" ourselves by discussing things.
So no, I didn't go get me a boyfriend and get into sexual sin with him. If anyone has been publicly bashed, it's me. I'm however, not quite that sensitive anymore. It's the misguided opinion of one person who doesn't know me but lashed out anyway.
I never said that Xenos is a cult. They do have some cult like tendencies. They win people through love bombing. They will do things for you and spend time with you until a point when they think you should be reaching a certain level of commitment. I learned to fear the words, "Sooo...can we talk?"
I have no idea who jrock is, but he's not someone who "knows me personally." He may have known me on some level when I was involved in Xenos, but he didn't and does not know me personally.
People who have asked me why I left in the last 2+ years have expressed that I never could shut up. never could just go along, I never agreed for the sake of peace. Even in being out of the church, the problems I had were still all my fault.
If you look online at the complaints of others' against Xenos, you will see across the board that anyone who was hurt by Xenos is to blame often with insult and derision. Dennis McCallum himself has engaged in this behavior.
Xenos is likely not a cult. What it likely is is a church that has gotten too big with poor oversight of it's members who lead. This leads to a spiritually abusive environment in some cases.
Even in the best, most biblical of churches, people hurt each other. The impression that
people in Xenos liked to paint of me was that I expected to never be hurt. This isn't true. I expected real heartfelt apologies and real resolution. I simply couldn't accept being blamed for every single hurt I ever faced. In over 10 years only two people ever sincerely apologized to me.
Oh my. Be prepared. They do not like former members saying anything against them. Frankly, I think it is rather frightening and intimidating that he would contact you personally when you had not included his name in you posts; just your experiences. The impression I get is he wants you to shut up, and in true form, pulled out various Bible verses to justify his behavior. And bashing, your posts are not. They are rather balanced. Before some member says how dare I talk about something I dont know - let me say this. I was a member. A hardcore member who was up for leadership. I left because I got tired of the meddling, arrogance, control, etc that so many other former members mention.
Anonymus

Grove City, OH

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#428
May 17, 2013
 
I feel bad for the kid that died on the Holden trip
jrock

Columbus, OH

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#429
May 17, 2013
 
Too all of you who have taken the time to Xenos-bash (not including those who have shared their personal, though skewed, experiences) tell me, what church do you go to that has no problems? Or, tell me what church you DON'T go to that has no problems. Or tell me any church that has never been complained about, talked about, investigated for something, or has some, any, problems. Please describe that church to me because I want to go there.

You can say what you want about mistakes that have been made. One thing I know for sure from being in Xenos for 25 years: many members, who admit they have faults, have devoted their lives to learning about God, serving others and sharing the Gospel. We are all broken, messed up people, just trying to get by. I challenge ANY of you to tell me where any of those (3) things are wrong in-and-of themselves. Yes, Xenos is not for uncommitted, Sunday-only Christians who want to get with God and still live their lives against God's will. Those people will not like Xenos, for sure. God calls for followers, not people who want to live double lives.
Anonymus

Grove City, OH

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#430
May 17, 2013
 
^

Do you know what all happened with the poor kid that passed away? Was it just a freak accident?
Anonymous

Dublin, OH

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#432
May 17, 2013
 
jrock wrote:
Too all of you who have taken the time to Xenos-bash (not including those who have shared their personal, though skewed, experiences) tell me, what church do you go to that has no problems? Or, tell me what church you DON'T go to that has no problems. Or tell me any church that has never been complained about, talked about, investigated for something, or has some, any, problems. Please describe that church to me because I want to go there.
You can say what you want about mistakes that have been made. One thing I know for sure from being in Xenos for 25 years: many members, who admit they have faults, have devoted their lives to learning about God, serving others and sharing the Gospel. We are all broken, messed up people, just trying to get by. I challenge ANY of you to tell me where any of those (3) things are wrong in-and-of themselves. Yes, Xenos is not for uncommitted, Sunday-only Christians who want to get with God and still live their lives against God's will. Those people will not like Xenos, for sure. God calls for followers, not people who want to live double lives.
I ran from a certain church upon learning that I would be a particular person's 37th recruit. I have no idea what the goal was because I turned my back fast - and I do mean fast, never to look back again. You can't make this stuff up, nor can you excuse it to someone not wanting to be a follower of God.
friend of the family

Springboro, OH

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#434
May 20, 2013
 

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The young man named Kwesi Sample died with this group on Tuesday May 14, 2013. According to the detectives he was playing a game with 6 other members in the water when he lost his footing and was pulled under. This is certainly a Cult according to the following actions.
No one attempted to go out to him in the water to try to save him although there were 6 other people including his house leader in the water with him
No one with the group ever called his parents
The group would not speak to the grandmother who went down to North Carolina the day he disappeared
The Pastor (I use that word losely) has yet to contact the parents
None of the other kids showed any emotions (they're not allowed to show emotion) not even his so called girlfriend
And the worst thing of all
The group contained their retreat until Saturday May 18th

kwesi's body came ashore on Sunday May 19th

They might not be a Cult but they certainly are not good people.
Talk to your kids before they go off to college, this is where they are being recruited. These people are about to find out how much Kwesi was loved and cared for.
Anonymus wrote:
^
Do you know what all happened with the poor kid that passed away? Was it just a freak accident?
jrock

Columbus, OH

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#435
May 20, 2013
 

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friend of the family wrote:
The young man named Kwesi Sample died with this group on Tuesday May 14, 2013. According to the detectives he was playing a game with 6 other members in the water when he lost his footing and was pulled under. This is certainly a Cult according to the following actions.
No one attempted to go out to him in the water to try to save him although there were 6 other people including his house leader in the water with him
No one with the group ever called his parents
The group would not speak to the grandmother who went down to North Carolina the day he disappeared
The Pastor (I use that word losely) has yet to contact the parents
None of the other kids showed any emotions (they're not allowed to show emotion) not even his so called girlfriend
And the worst thing of all
The group contained their retreat until Saturday May 18th
kwesi's body came ashore on Sunday May 19th
They might not be a Cult but they certainly are not good people.
Talk to your kids before they go off to college, this is where they are being recruited. These people are about to find out how much Kwesi was loved and cared for. <quoted text>
You are so wrong about some of your comments. I suggest you get the facts straight before you tell a story of half-truths. "Not good people?" "Aren't allowed to show emotions?" Shame on you for making such ignorant statements. I know many of the kids that were on that trip and you have no right to judge them. You have no idea what happened because you were not there. Did you know that there was a service for him the next day, give by the "so-called pastor", and an 1700, yes 1700 of the people at that retreat, basically all of them, came to the service. And I know for a fact there was a hell of a lot of emotion there. Those kids are torn up over what happened. So you should probably keep your untrue comments to yourself.

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