Some dads are absent not by their own choice

Oct 26, 2013 Full story: The Columbus Dispatch 10

The Dispatch welcomes letters to the editor from readers. Typed letters of 200 words or fewer are preferred; all might be edited.

Full Story
Tony Gottlieb

Nashville, TN

#1 Oct 27, 2013
The failure of the state to promulgate a rebuttal presumption of equally shared parenting for the children of non cohabiting parents, while at the same time financially incentivizing single parenting (usually mothers) has led to the disastrous epidemic of absent fatherhood. To the virtual one to one ratio between childhood development failures and absent fatherhood, the response has been to increase the lopsided subsidies and restrict male parenting to financial child support obligations. We are getting exactly what we are buying on this issue.
Tony Gottlieb

Nashville, TN

#2 Oct 27, 2013
A "rebuttable" presumption of equally shared parenting for the children of non cohabiting parents….

“Ludibrium est onus genio”

Since: Dec 11

Planet Earth

#3 Oct 28, 2013
right. Exactly equal physical and legal custody, unless either unfitness is proven, or the parents agree to something different.

(and did you know that the percentage of mothers who are ordered to pay child support and don't is higher than fathers?)
d pantz

United States

#4 Oct 28, 2013
TonyD2 wrote:
right. Exactly equal physical and legal custody, unless either unfitness is proven, or the parents agree to something different.
(and did you know that the percentage of mothers who are ordered to pay child support and don't is higher than fathers?)
I would imagine so since its really hard to get custody over the mother. She has to be really, really messed up. All a guy has to do is be alive.

Since: Jun 13

Location hidden

#5 Nov 8, 2013
Tony Gottlieb wrote:
The failure of the state to promulgate a rebuttal presumption of equally shared parenting for the children of non cohabiting parents, while at the same time financially incentivizing single parenting (usually mothers) has led to the disastrous epidemic of absent fatherhood. To the virtual one to one ratio between childhood development failures and absent fatherhood, the response has been to increase the lopsided subsidies and restrict male parenting to financial child support obligations. We are getting exactly what we are buying on this issue.
can u rewrite this in non doctoriate language, id probably agree with it.
Oliver Canterberry

Columbus, OH

#6 Nov 8, 2013
RKniz wrote:
<quoted text> can u rewrite this in non doctoriate language, id probably agree with it.
When the government penalizes families / traditional marriage and rewards baby mommas (especially single females) the result is chaos.

Since: Jun 13

Location hidden

#7 Nov 9, 2013
Oliver Canterberry wrote:
<quoted text>
When the government penalizes families / traditional marriage and rewards baby mommas (especially single females) the result is chaos.
Ya i do agree. we are living out those results everyday.
d pantz

United States

#8 Nov 9, 2013
It definitely makes a man think more than twice about getting married or having kids. Obviously not the stupid men.
Reality Speaks

Columbus, OH

#9 Nov 9, 2013
Dad's like me were absent because of traveling for work, and because I wanted away from my kids Mom.

Now I can see with both eyes my failure in their teens, I can make positive I am there whenever they need me now.

Parenting ends when they bury you.

Yesterday is unfixable. Today and tomorrow are.

“Bee Hive Jive”

Since: Apr 10

Location hidden

#10 Nov 9, 2013
Reality Speaks wrote:
Dad's like me were absent because of traveling for work, and because I wanted away from my kids Mom.
Now I can see with both eyes my failure in their teens, I can make positive I am there whenever they need me now.
Parenting ends when they bury you.
Yesterday is unfixable. Today and tomorrow are.
You're right, It's never too late.
Unfortunately, it's the kids who always take the hit,either way.
People should not show their difference in front of kids, but that's easier said than done.
My husband was cheating on me, when my kids were teens. They took it hard.
BUT I told them they did nothing wrong and it's between their father and me. I also told them, and I almost choked on the words, that they should love and respect him as usual. As time went by, they KNEW what he had done and formed their own opinions. They, or he, can never say I poisoned their minds against him.
Kids feel insecure when divorce happens. It's up to each parent to regain their kid's trust.

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