Nothing to see here, move along, report to your districts, head count is at 8:00pm sharp. During inspection, if any knife found in your dwelling is over five and a half inches it will be considered contraband. You are not allowed any fire arm that holds more than ten rounds maximum. If any such fire arm is found in or around your dwelling or vehicle, it will be confiscated and tagged contraband.
The punishment for such violations of Federal statute 5113.9-17A of the National assault weapons ban, will be a sentence of no more than five years and no less than two years, in a Federal detainment and rehabilitation facility, located in a Sector that is at least 500 miles from the location of the offence in which the violation took place. And two months rations of the daily recommended nutritional protein value, per U.S. agriculture code 1476B5-666, will be withheld from your personal GDBC (government data base card) and you will have mandatory re-education classes twice a week for three months.
In order for a safe, happy, and prosperous Nation, everyone much do their part to ensure the safety of our citizens and our children, so that a bright and promising future can be obtained for each citizen. We're in this together and your full cooperation is expected and appreciated.
Upon release, violators will be