It wouldn't have been done without her knowledge. Ever have a next of kin die? I have buried both my parents. You do not have an obit published until and unless the funeral director has had ALL family members (immediate survivors) approve it. And if the woman wrote the obit herself, it's all over.<quoted text>
What is your source that SHE (as opposed to another family member) had the obituary published?
When my mom died, my older sister handled all of the direct arrangements while I handled the relatives (picking up at airport, housing them, feeding them, etc.). Even then, my other sister and I were required to show up at the funeral home's office prior to mom's viewing and funeral and sign a few documents. One of them was to approve the obit to be published in the paper.
This stuff doesn't happen "in the dark," Tony. You're grasping at air here.