Willamette Lecture Features the Traumatic Lives of Early Christians in Cyprus

Christ, everybody knows that the early Christians loved to get the shit beat out of them. C'mon, tell me somethin' I don't know. They were a bunch of crybabies -- everybody knows that. They weren't manly Greco-Roman types by any means. It's well known that those early Christians were supersitious, limp-wristed shirtlifting sodomites. How they prevailed over the sensible, if wacky, down-to-earth exemplars of traditional values -- the Greco-Roman Gods -- is anybody's guess. I'll tell you one thing, buster, we idolaters have had it up to our pie holes with Christians, early AND late. I think I'll just go outside and beat the tar out of a couple of 'em right now.