'First time' may predict lifelong sexual satisfaction
The study is published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy and is the first to look at whether the circumstances of losing one's virginity have lasting consequences.Full Story
#1 Jan 29, 2013
Much of how we see ourselves sexually is driven by the context of our contemporary society.
For instance, "back in the day" before the sexual revolution and birth control pills, in small town middle class society, there were things that "girls just didn't do" either because they "looked bad" or would damage their all important reputations "because people would see and talk".... Ie, the imposition of considerable peer pressure.
There was also applied considerable pressure from the church, Strict morality, and short of murdering someone, getting pregnant out of wedlock was just about the worst possible a thing a middle class girl could do. There was the implicit assumption that any girl having sex out of wedlock was a whore, and getting pregnant out of wedlock was proof positive of sex. Which is why so many were pressured into "doing the right thing by the baby" hurry up marriages that didn't work. But at least they were married when the baby was born.
"bad" Girls that got pregnant were excluded from the public school system, and ostracized by their peers and friends. It wasn't so much necessarily their friends' fault, as it was the physical isolation imposed by the school system, and parental pressure applied not to be seen with or to associate with a so called "bad" girl.
It would be very easy to see why and how this environment could set a very bad context for a girl having sex, or even a girl who was simply an observer to her say, best friend's misfortunes as a result of having sex. Often this type of trauma bred either one of two outlooks - one of defiance, or one of utter avoidance of sex at all costs, that often lasted for years, and interfered with the ability to live a normal adult life.
#2 Jan 29, 2013
People should stay virgins untill marriage. It makes it feel better
#3 Jan 29, 2013
Well that is certainly the model that was laid out for us in the biblical teachings... And it has a LOT of benefits going for it.
Probably the biggest advantage is that any child is brought into a hopefully stable and loving already existing relationship, not one cobbled together ad-hoc after the fact. And often children become a "when" rather than an "if".
Much less drama and heartache from being "over committed" to a transient relationship that is not going to last.
Fewer negative consequences from dealing with any pregnancy that might result from such a relationship...
If the child was kept, it makes moving on from such a relationship that much harder because now the woman needs to be a mother to her child while also still seeking a viable mate and the mate selection process is now made even more complicated by the presence of another person in the relationship and depends on the willingness of any potential mate to undertake such a relationship.
Since: Jan 13
#4 Jan 29, 2013
This is something that I'd never thought about but believe there may be something to it. It was a long, long time ago but I remember it quite well. Back in the days of the old cat houses. A lady owned 4 houses in a row and each house had 3 or 4 girls. Kind of like a strip mall. You could go from house to house and back before making a selection. I got up the nerve and money to go. The one I selected was an older woman (older, 30 to 35, in my eyes, me being 17.She was one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen with a body to match. She could see my nervousness and asked if it were my first time. She made me feel so comfortable and not uptight. I didn't know what I could and couldn't do, so I asked if I could feel her beautful big boobs. She said I could feel of her anywhere I liked. I did and was the most excited kid in the world. We proceeded to "do the deal". I loved it! I returned to visit Lucy whenever I could afford it. Every time was wonderful. I have loved sex ever since and still do. My first experience set a wonderful precedent.
There were no girls in my town or high school that I knew of "doing thing like that". "Good girls" didn't do it. My search was then one for those that were not considered "good girls". I wanted the "bad" ones.
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