Iowa teen moves forward after family dumps him

Jun 10, 2011 Full story: www.desmoinesregister.com 350

Ben Alley misses his parents. He's 18 and just graduated from East Marshall High School in Le Grand, with scholarships to almost cover his costs at the University of Iowa. It's a time for open houses and pride. But he won't be getting that from his once-close family - the Southern Baptist minister father and the mother who home-schooled him early on.

They're not dead; he's dead to them. In sophomore year, Ben informed his parents that he is gay. They informed him he wouldn't be coming home after school the next day - or ever again.

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Disgusted American

Philadelphia, PA

#1 Jun 10, 2011
ahhh the christain love shines thru again.....

..at what point does Your Mythical religion become MORE Important than YOUR OWN CHILD????? Pathetic and sick....the "Throw Away" kids heteros Toss out like garbage.....they should be Fined, and never allowed to have children in the 1st place - SCUM

Judged:

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CHAS

Dillon, CO

#2 Jun 10, 2011
Disgusted American wrote:
ahhh the christain love shines thru again.....
..at what point does Your Mythical religion become MORE Important than YOUR OWN CHILD????? Pathetic and sick....the "Throw Away" kids heteros Toss out like garbage.....they should be Fined, and never allowed to have children in the 1st place - SCUM
Well said.
Rainbow Kid

Alpharetta, GA

#3 Jun 10, 2011
Disgusted American wrote:
ahhh the christain love shines thru again.....
..at what point does Your Mythical religion become MORE Important than YOUR OWN CHILD????? Pathetic and sick....the "Throw Away" kids heteros Toss out like garbage.....they should be Fined, and never allowed to have children in the 1st place - SCUM
To stop the chain of child abuse from poluting entire church congregations......
.
The parents should be serving life sentences without parole
texas_cowboy

Desoto, TX

#4 Jun 10, 2011
Rainbow Kid wrote:
<quoted text>
To stop the chain of child abuse from poluting entire church congregations......
.
The parents should be serving life sentences without parole
He's 18 so they wouldn't be charged with abandonment but none the less the parents are low life pigs. One day, on death's doorstep, they will beg for forgiveness. Oops. Too late.
Lionel

Los Angeles, CA

#5 Jun 10, 2011
When things like this happens it makes me stop from ever wanting to be part of any religious group. If one thing I've learned from going to a religious faith based place of workship is that God is everywhere & anywhere so it is not required to go to said house of workship. Those parents should be embarrassed by their behavior. Even my parents are not like that!!!

“Common courtesy, isn't”

Since: Nov 07

Location hidden

#6 Jun 10, 2011
What a courageous and resourceful young man.

No one can predict what may happen in the future. His parents may someday have a spiritual awakening and seek reconciliation with the child they have wronged, or perhaps they will always remain bitter and judgmental, devoid of true Christian love and charity.

But what is certain is that, although he may miss them ... or rather, he may miss the idea of the relationship he could have with his parents if they were mentally, emotionally and spiritually healthy ... this young man is much better off away from the toxicity of their un-Christlike religious fervor.

I wish him all the best as he moves forward without the burden of their conditional love.

“Believer of Common Sense”

Since: Jan 11

Middle of Nowhere

#7 Jun 10, 2011
Disgusted American wrote:
ahhh the christain love shines thru again.....
..at what point does Your Mythical religion become MORE Important than YOUR OWN CHILD????? Pathetic and sick....the "Throw Away" kids heteros Toss out like garbage.....they should be Fined, and never allowed to have children in the 1st place - SCUM
I agree completely!!! Their son's lifestyle isnt anything to be ashamed of...but their actions surely are!
Grace

Bowie, MD

#8 Jun 10, 2011
Gotta wonder what God will say to them come the big J. I guess these parents must be sin free (I will visit the sins of the father upon child to the second and third generation.). Why did you abandon the child I gave you? Are his sins so much worse than yours? Who told you that you should give up on a child that was born to you? Why have you forsaken my gift of continuation? WHO ARE YOU TO DO WHAT IS THE DOMAIN OF GOD (Judgement)? Abandonment of a parent's responsibility to their offspring is a sin of great magnitude. Southern Baptist's believe in hell. Jesus tells us "as you believe, so shall it be. I believe in forgiveness at least 70 x 70 times. Wo to the "God fearing" parents of this abandoned child of God.

“Putan end to religious thought”

Since: Jun 07

The Freak Kingdom

#9 Jun 10, 2011
texas_cowboy wrote:
<quoted text>He's 18 so they wouldn't be charged with abandonment but none the less the parents are low life pigs. One day, on death's doorstep, they will beg for forgiveness. Oops. Too late.
They could have been. They kicked him out Sophmore year. That's about 15 or 16 for most kids.

Go family values, right?

“Putan end to religious thought”

Since: Jun 07

The Freak Kingdom

#10 Jun 10, 2011
More family values?

"At age 10 he was told by his mom that he didn't deserve to live anymore, after she caught him experimenting with a boy the same age."

Yet we are supposedly the ones doing harm to children? This is just repulsive, tragic, and all too f-ing common.
Bob

Houston, TX

#11 Jun 10, 2011
Disgusted American wrote:
ahhh the christain love shines thru again.....
..at what point does Your Mythical religion become MORE Important than YOUR OWN CHILD????? Pathetic and sick....the "Throw Away" kids heteros Toss out like garbage.....they should be Fined, and never allowed to have children in the 1st place - SCUM
Under 18? Isn't that child abuse: or abandonment? Can't those parents be charged with criminal charges?

Religion is just sick!

“Created Equal”

Since: Feb 08

USA

#12 Jun 10, 2011
What the parents did was absolutely unforgiveable. But Ben's story is one of triumph, and also an object lesson for all those homophobes out there. Here's a kid whose own parents kicked him out of the house, and who found help and support from his local LGBT community. He worked to pay his own way while going to school, graduated, and won multiple scholarships. He also gave back to his community by bringing back the school's Gay-Straight Alliance organization. Frankly, he's an amazing kid, and I know he'll grow up to be a strong leader, and a powerful voice for equality.

So, in a way, it's a better thing that his parents kicked him out instead of forcing him to go to some horrendous "pray the gay away" camp, which might have screwed him up for life, or resulted in his suicide.

There are many kids out there who are not as strong, not as courageous, or who don't have such friends and community resources to draw upon. Too often, they wind up living on the streets, getting drawn into drugs, theft, and the sex trade.

This is the legacy of Christian ministries that teach homophobia and unacceptance. I have no sympathy for their "religious objections" because they have no sympathy for these kids.

For the love of God! They're your chldren!

“The Buybull is innerrrent.”

Since: Jun 08

Silver Spring, MD

#13 Jun 10, 2011
Will xstain, talibangelical parents disown children who get a divorce at some point?

"Religious" freeeks are a plague. Praiz!
Equal Equals Equal

United States

#14 Jun 10, 2011
I throw up every time I hear that "hate the sin, love the sinner." Religion has done more harm than good in this world.

the bible is MYTHOLOGY ... GTF over it already.

“Luke laughs at hypocrites!”

Since: Sep 10

Palm Springs, California

#15 Jun 10, 2011
Equal Equals Equal wrote:
I throw up every time I hear that "hate the sin, love the sinner." Religion has done more harm than good in this world.
the bible is MYTHOLOGY ... GTF over it already.
The funny part is, and I learned it HERE on Topix, that the "hate the sin, love the sinner" line is not even Christian, not in the bible at all. That NON Christian man of peace, Ghandi, said it. Many Christians take it to heart without even knowing its true background.

What Ghandi meant was to not harbor hate in your heart for others. Forgive and leave the judging to God, not yourself. That's the way he lived HIS life.
John

Atlanta, GA

#16 Jun 10, 2011
texas_cowboy wrote:
<quoted text>He's 18 so they wouldn't be charged with abandonment but none the less the parents are low life pigs. One day, on death's doorstep, they will beg for forgiveness. Oops. Too late.
He was 16 when he was kicked out, in 10th grade
SLIF

Toronto, Canada

#17 Jun 10, 2011
He gets free schooling at university through scholarships,and his religiuos right (hetero separtist) parents, have disowned him.So far,I'd say he's doing very good for himself.

“The Buybull is innerrrent.”

Since: Jun 08

Silver Spring, MD

#18 Jun 10, 2011
"Hate the talibangelicalism, not the talibangelical."

That is, until the talibangelical tries to act out some act of hatred or pogrom._Then_ hate the talibangelical.

We probably need to start bullying them in schools and making sure they can't marry or adopt. Praiz!
Disgusted American

Philadelphia, PA

#19 Jun 10, 2011
what Pathetic excuse for parents...wow. They're as bad as the Taliban..Brainwashed and dellusional

“Luke laughs at hypocrites!”

Since: Sep 10

Palm Springs, California

#20 Jun 10, 2011
Disgusted American wrote:
what Pathetic excuse for parents...wow. They're as bad as the Taliban..Brainwashed and dellusional
Pissh, those "parents" did Ben a favor by NOT infecting him for the rest of his life. Good riddance!

The fact that he didn't end up homeless, or worse, is a testament to how strong a young man he is. I predict he will have a fine productive life. Best part is, he won't have to sit in that sh*t church anymore and listen to that drivel. He can spend his Sundays having fun and going to brunch and DECENT use of time.

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