The Dark Side of Hookups, a Friends W...

The Dark Side of Hookups, a Friends With Benefitsa and F- Buddies

There are 49 comments on the The Skanner story from May 11, 2010, titled The Dark Side of Hookups, a Friends With Benefitsa and F- Buddies. In it, The Skanner reports that:

Concurrency. Outside of social science circles, this wonky word doesn't have much meaning.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at The Skanner.

First Prev
of 3
Next Last

AmericanBoer

“Gods Warrior”

Since: Jan 10

Fort Lauderdale, FL

#1 May 11, 2010
This collision of factors has produced a perfect storm in Washington, D.C. According to a much-discussed survey (PDF) released last year, 4 percent of Black District residents and 7 percent of Black men there have tested HIV-positive--a higher rate than in many parts of Africa. The majority of newly infected D.C. residents contracted the disease through heterosexual sex.
Concurrency has clearly contributed to the spread of HIV in the District. Nearly 50 percent of people surveyed in its hardest-hit areas reported having overlapping sexual partners in the last 12 months. Most were not aware of either their own HIV status or that of their partner, and the vast majority said that they did not use a condom the last time they had sex with their main partner, even though they were aware that the relationship might not be monogamous.
This deadly mix explains why a Black woman, for example, who doesn't "sleep around" might contract HIV, while someone else engaged in frequent episodes of unprotected sex might not become infected.

"In some areas of Chicago, she would be very likely to come into contact with someone who is infected," Dr. Paik says. "It's not about promiscuity; it's how the disease has percolated in her cluster of sexual contacts. Someone in rural Iowa could be engaging in frequent unprotected hookups, but the risk is lower, because there's not a lot of disease in that population."
MDJ

Since: Apr 07

Location hidden

#2 May 11, 2010
http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/surveillance/ba...

You can thrown stones and post articles about STD's and AIDS, in the Black Community. But understand this..........Whites are not too far behind. And people will not stop hooking up.

Aids Cases by race/ethnicity..........

Blacks-426,003

Whites-404,465

LastOfTheHoover

Since: Dec 09

Joliet, IL

#3 May 11, 2010
MDJ wrote:
http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/ surveillance/basic.htm#aidsrac e
You can thrown stones and post articles about STD's and AIDS, in the Black Community. But understand this..........Whites are not too far behind. And people will not stop hooking up.
Aids Cases by race/ethnicity..........
Blacks-426,003
Whites-404,465
LOL! Aint that the truth..
Robert

Lexington, KY

#4 May 11, 2010
MDJ wrote:
http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/ surveillance/basic.htm#aidsrac e
You can thrown stones and post articles about STD's and AIDS, in the Black Community. But understand this..........Whites are not too far behind. And people will not stop hooking up.
Aids Cases by race/ethnicity..........
Blacks-426,003
Whites-404,465
Well , considering the diff in the populations , that is a HUGE amount of AA cases of STD's vs non AA , EDUCATION and RESPONSIBILITY and not worthless "Hoorahs" and "I know that's right" are what is needed to stop that awful disparity.
MDJ

Since: Apr 07

Location hidden

#5 May 11, 2010
LastOfTheHoover wrote:
<quoted text>
LOL! Aint that the truth..
Hahaha!!! Yep!
MDJ

Since: Apr 07

Location hidden

#6 May 11, 2010
Robert wrote:
<quoted text>
Well , considering the diff in the populations , that is a HUGE amount of AA cases of STD's vs non AA , EDUCATION and RESPONSIBILITY and not worthless "Hoorahs" and "I know that's right" are what is needed to stop that awful disparity.
The point i'm trying to make is Whites are not far behind. You would think not one person would be infected by the AIDS virus who is white. When in fact, the numbers shows a high volume that they are..........so no one or race could affford to point the finger at anyone.

Hoooooooraaaah!!!!!!

AmericanBoer

“Gods Warrior”

Since: Jan 10

Fort Lauderdale, FL

#7 May 11, 2010
MDJ wrote:
<quoted text>
The point i'm trying to make is Whites are not far behind. You would think not one person would be infected by the AIDS virus who is white. When in fact, the numbers shows a high volume that they are..........so no one or race could affford to point the finger at anyone.
Hoooooooraaaah!!!!!!
Not far behind?

Black people in the US = 35 million.
White people = 250 million.

Your neck and neck race is not as close as you think it is..
Robert

Lexington, KY

#8 May 11, 2010
MDJ wrote:
<quoted text>
The point i'm trying to make is Whites are not far behind. You would think not one person would be infected by the AIDS virus who is white. When in fact, the numbers shows a high volume that they are..........so no one or race could affford to point the finger at anyone.
Hoooooooraaaah!!!!!!
I guess you failed math and statistics , if you have 100 ppl and 21 of group "A" has an illness and they only make up 30 of the total population while group "B" has 20 cases yet they make up 70 of the total population group "A" has a much more pronounced problem that needs addressing than group "B" , yes both have a problem and neither is innocent but rather than calling it "finger pointing" , why not assume it is identifying a problem that needs fixing so that NO ONE of any race is a victim of the illness? Being overly sensitive is a big part of the problem , even identifying a problem in order to help a group of ppl is taken as a racial insult , that is making it worse , excusing a group of ppl b/c other ppl are doing something too seems so middle school and childish , just like saying HOOORAH , when ppl are getting deathly sick when it is preventable b/c they are "sensitive" about being singled out. Oh waaayy!! Booh hooh.
MDJ

Since: Apr 07

Location hidden

#9 May 11, 2010
Robert wrote:
<quoted text>
I guess you failed math and statistics , if you have 100 ppl and 21 of group "A" has an illness and they only make up 30 of the total population while group "B" has 20 cases yet they make up 70 of the total population group "A" has a much more pronounced problem that needs addressing than group "B" , yes both have a problem and neither is innocent but rather than calling it "finger pointing" , why not assume it is identifying a problem that needs fixing so that NO ONE of any race is a victim of the illness? Being overly sensitive is a big part of the problem , even identifying a problem in order to help a group of ppl is taken as a racial insult , that is making it worse , excusing a group of ppl b/c other ppl are doing something too seems so middle school and childish , just like saying HOOORAH , when ppl are getting deathly sick when it is preventable b/c they are "sensitive" about being singled out. Oh waaayy!! Booh hooh.
I'm overly sensitive? You are judging a race of people based on the color of their skin. And trying to blame a problem, on all black people....when clearly, whites suffer with the disease as well YOU FOOL! The difference between you and me.......is i'm not pointing the finger at anyone. I'm merely, trying to get my point across that all races of people are suffering you fool. And if we are going to raise AWARENESS, you imbecile. You do not point the finger at one race of people. Now when you look at the CDC stats....and you only have one race of people. Then you post that bullschitt, to me you just posted. Until then..........shut up. And deal with the fact that whites are living or dying with the disease as well.

BOOM!!!!

Since: Sep 09

Oured,Osea

#10 May 11, 2010
FWB ain't good especially for women. Any woman who has high self worth and respect for herself would never agree to a FWB relationship, as she's setting herself up to get sexually exploited by her man. That explains the out of control OOW epidemic in this society amongst teenage to adolescent girls because of it.
LuvlyEmpress

United States

#11 May 11, 2010
Nerdtician wrote:
FWB ain't good especially for women. Any woman who has high self worth and respect for herself would never agree to a FWB relationship, as she's setting herself up to get sexually exploited by her man. That explains the out of control OOW epidemic in this society amongst teenage to adolescent girls because of it.
Co-sign. It's time to ask more questions and find out where our partner stands in a relationship and how they lived their lives. It's also time to use more restraint.

Since: Jan 08

AOL

#12 May 11, 2010
I'm in a monogamous relationship with my black boyfriend.He already knows I'm evil and sweet, he will not committ adultery with me.We are practically husband and wife without the marriage license.I am so in love. 8^D
Robert

Lexington, KY

#13 May 11, 2010
MDJ wrote:
<quoted text>
I'm overly sensitive? You are judging a race of people based on the color of their skin. And trying to blame a problem, on all black people....when clearly, whites suffer with the disease as well YOU FOOL! The difference between you and me.......is i'm not pointing the finger at anyone. I'm merely, trying to get my point across that all races of people are suffering you fool. And if we are going to raise AWARENESS, you imbecile. You do not point the finger at one race of people. Now when you look at the CDC stats....and you only have one race of people. Then you post that bullschitt, to me you just posted. Until then..........shut up. And deal with the fact that whites are living or dying with the disease as well.
BOOM!!!!
I guess the fact that you are throwing a name calling tantrum b/c I posted logical facts is very SENSITIVE and not very nice either. Pointing out FACTS based on the stats is HOW you know WHO needs the awareness, or we can spend a billion tax dollars educating kids in Iowa where it is NOT a problem. duh. The ppl that are at risk need the "awareness" when it reaches 100% of the AA community it will be too late , but keep on making it a racial issue and let AA's continue to suffer so your feelings don't get hurt.
MDJ

Since: Apr 07

Location hidden

#14 May 11, 2010
Robert wrote:
<quoted text>
I guess the fact that you are throwing a name calling tantrum b/c I posted logical facts is very SENSITIVE and not very nice either. Pointing out FACTS based on the stats is HOW you know WHO needs the awareness, or we can spend a billion tax dollars educating kids in Iowa where it is NOT a problem. duh. The ppl that are at risk need the "awareness" when it reaches 100% of the AA community it will be too late , but keep on making it a racial issue and let AA's continue to suffer so your feelings don't get hurt.
So you did'nt make it about race in your above comment and you're not making about race now..... in this comment?*smh*(My response was targeted at American Boer's comment).

Yes the people at risk need awareness....CDC listed all races You did click on the link did they not? Or do you continue to ignore that......and put the entire blame on black people. It amazes me that people can point the finger at every minority group of people. But ignore other races. Do you know how many whites are living with the disease....and has been since the 70's-80's. If i had'nt seen a late night documentary. I would have never known..........

Since: Sep 09

Oured,Osea

#15 May 11, 2010
LuvlyEmpress wrote:
<quoted text>
Co-sign. It's time to ask more questions and find out where our partner stands in a relationship and how they lived their lives. It's also time to use more restraint.
Exactly!

“Real Black Men Speak English”

Since: May 07

Bmore

#17 May 12, 2010
Nerdtician wrote:
FWB ain't good especially for women.
FWB is how I roll. My 3 ladies are ok with it, because we're in same place in our lives where we're not looking for any serious involvements. It just works for us
Robert

Indialantic, FL

#18 May 12, 2010
MDJ wrote:
<quoted text>
So you did'nt make it about race in your above comment and you're not making about race now..... in this comment?*smh*(My response was targeted at American Boer's comment).
Yes the people at risk need awareness....CDC listed all races You did click on the link did they not? Or do you continue to ignore that......and put the entire blame on black people. It amazes me that people can point the finger at every minority group of people. But ignore other races. Do you know how many whites are living with the disease....and has been since the 70's-80's. If i had'nt seen a late night documentary. I would have never known..........
It is possible to talk about the racial aspects of an issue as part of a dicussion without being abusive and hateful , denying a fact doesn't make it any less of a fact and in many cases causes the problem to become worse from neglect. I am not trying to put any group of people down just saying that any group that is disproportinatley high in any area with a problem such as this , identifying the people and educating them of the dangers is the only way to slow it down. Guys of all colors are having sex no doubt and I be one of um , but I stick with the same person these days , it is a good thing when things like this are so common but not everyone is at the same place in their sex life as I am and I got extrmely lucky I am healthy , not better than anyone , just dodged a lot of bullets is all.
Conscience Sister

South Richmond Hill, NY

#19 May 12, 2010
I can never be cool with FWB. If I'm not ready for a relationship because i'm too busy or recent break-up, I'd rather be single or just date and not be sexual then to agree to be FWB. The only thing that will happen in FWB situation for me at least is someone is going to catch feelings and now the friendship is over. Either it will be me or him and it won't work. Even if I agree to it in the begining, eventually I'm going to catch feelings and want more. I would be just setting one of us up for disappointment and an easy escape route for the other really. Waste of time.
Conscience Sister

South Richmond Hill, NY

#20 May 12, 2010
Kennyinbmore wrote:
<quoted text>
FWB is how I roll. My 3 ladies are ok with it, because we're in same place in our lives where we're not looking for any serious involvements. It just works for us
This is based just on what i've seen with past people and the only FWB situation i ever saw that worked and no one walked away feeling some kind of way is when it was about money. She get her bread, he get his nut and they both go about their business both getting what they want and not secretly wanting more. Especially with emotional ass females, they might agree to it but are not really being honest with the dude or themselves. Maybe your situation is the first one that worked because I seen it before and eventually the male or female had to cut the FWB off because they started wanting more and more time and more needy emotionally.
OKONKWO

United States

#21 May 12, 2010
JUST ANOTHER "LOW VIBRATION" EXISTENCE....GHETTORIZED RELATIONSHIPS....YOU ARE WHAT YOU CHOOSE TO DO...WITH YOUR MIND,BODY AND SPIRIT....

EITHER WE ARE IN A MEANINGFUL/PRODUCTIVE RELATIONSHIP...ON IT'S WAY TO MARRIAGE AND FAMILY OR....

NO THANKS!

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker
First Prev
of 3
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

University of Iowa Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
News The Latest: Sanders asks young voters to prove ... May '16 Tea Bag Residue C... 5
News Bonaparte baby injured in fall from window (Feb '12) Apr '16 mother of this child 2
News Top Democrats, and a little bit of Hollywood, a... (Jan '16) Apr '16 Demi Lovato 2
News Charges filed against Dubuque woman whose son s... Feb '16 Redhawk 1
News Solo show at Roby King features Adam Grosowsky Feb '16 JANE 1
News Sanders predicts Iowa upset, slams The Washingt... Feb '16 Lawrence Wolf 23
News Iowa Democratic Caucus: Counties to Watch Feb '16 Larry Craig s WC ... 10
More from around the web