Divorce Detour: help for troubled OK marriages

Full story: KFOR

Broken is a word to describe too many marriages in Oklahoma. Our state ranks in the top 5 for divorce.
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ummm

Oklahoma City, OK

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#1
Nov 17, 2010
 

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why dont you put a picture of a white couple, most of the pictures on this website are from white people, why in this story there is a picture of a black couple? its the truth..

Since: Feb 08

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#2
Nov 17, 2010
 

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The current social view of marriage is a joke. It is only slightly more important than 'going steady' used to be 40 years ago. For one thing, "no-fault divorce" (which doesn't actually exist), should be outlawed or at least the one seeking such a divorce without valid and provable grounds should be entitled to walk away empty-handed. As long as some can benefit from destroying the family, some will be willing to employ any means necessary.
Citizen Bob

Oklahoma City, OK

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#3
Nov 17, 2010
 

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Our state ranks in the top 5 for divorce. In a state survey, participants said that 90 percent of couples rush into marriage and 86 percent cited lack of commitment played a major role in failed unions.

That says a lot about the Belt Buckle of the Bible Belt.
Jessi Ann

Oklahoma City, OK

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#4
Nov 17, 2010
 

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Citizen Bob wrote:
Our state ranks in the top 5 for divorce. In a state survey, participants said that 90 percent of couples rush into marriage and 86 percent cited lack of commitment played a major role in failed unions.
That says a lot about the Belt Buckle of the Bible Belt.
Exactly...well said.
Matt

Oklahoma City, OK

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#5
Nov 17, 2010
 

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Simple solution=Do no get married!
These days the problems are of the woman/girl.
The most I have been around are bipolar or have some sort of mental issue includind my neighbors. Woman are too used to being catered to and have the big head on their shoulders that they are in charge, they wear the pants, everything belongs to them, and you cannot talk any sense into them. Its like talking to a brick wall. So, you guys out there remember this, that thing inbetween a womans legs is not that important and you can get some elsewhere! DO NOT LET A WOMAN PRESSURE YOU INTO A MARRIAGE...They will screw you in the long run.
Matt

Oklahoma City, OK

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#6
Nov 17, 2010
 

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O'YA, WAIT!! Heaven forbid you have children. Then your stuck with child support/alimony, lose your house while the witch gets to live in it on your dime.....

SIMPLE SOLUTION=DO NOT GET MARRIED AND WEAR A RAINCOAT!!
not the other chris

Oklahoma City, OK

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#7
Nov 17, 2010
 

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Citizen Bob wrote:
Our state ranks in the top 5 for divorce. In a state survey, participants said that 90 percent of couples rush into marriage and 86 percent cited lack of commitment played a major role in failed unions.
That says a lot about the Belt Buckle of the Bible Belt.
Has nothing to do with the Bible Belt. It has to do with parents not raising their kids to be responsible. It has to do with new and improved policies of handing out condoms while telling kids to be safe and responsible. It has to do with this new mentality of lack of personal accountability and individual "rights" not being infringed upon even if the person is only 15 or 16. It has to do with liberalism and its promotion of a morality now based more on the "right" of "self-expression" and freedom to do anything one wants, and society will assume the responsibility for any consequences. It has to do with the liberal push for enhanced welfare and the economic advantage of pumping out kids without being able to afford to take care of them, since government will pay for it. Shall I go on?

The only thing religion has to do with it, is that families that are intact and responsible in teaching their children a God-based morality, tend to turn out ok. There are exceptions and extremists in all situations, but the majority of families connected with church and that pray together and are involved in family activities tend to have successful lives and marriages. Since prayer, religion, and a basic belief in God and his commandments have been discounted, abandoned, and replaced with secular, liberal ideas and practices, our society all over has declined. You are obviously a part of this "new and improved" morality, and thus can't see the forest for the trees, Bob.
not the other chris

Oklahoma City, OK

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#8
Nov 17, 2010
 

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By the way, I have been married for many, many, MANY years, and our bond is based on God and our church. We respect each other, and rely on prayer and the Bible for our guidance, not Planned Parenthood, the League of Women Voters, the ACLU, Mick Cornett, Barack Obama, Ellen DeGeneress, Vickie Miles LeGrange, or Oprah Winfrey for advice and direction. We have three children who have children, and all seem to be doing quite well. They are all successes in life, are happy and well-adjusted, and base their lives on Christ and His inspiration. And the funny thing is, that nearly all our friends are in the same situation. Gee, guess this Bible Belt influence isn't as ABSOLUTELY destructive as some might imagine.

(Can't wait to see the resentful, immature and hateful arguments to this comment.)
Citizen Bob

Oklahoma City, OK

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Nov 17, 2010
 

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not the other chris wrote:
<quoted text>
Has nothing to do with the Bible Belt. It has to do with parents not raising their kids to be responsible. It has to do with new and improved policies of handing out condoms while telling kids to be safe and responsible. It has to do with this new mentality of lack of personal accountability and individual "rights" not being infringed upon even if the person is only 15 or 16. It has to do with liberalism and its promotion of a morality now based more on the "right" of "self-expression" and freedom to do anything one wants, and society will assume the responsibility for any consequences. It has to do with the liberal push for enhanced welfare and the economic advantage of pumping out kids without being able to afford to take care of them, since government will pay for it. Shall I go on?
The only thing religion has to do with it, is that families that are intact and responsible in teaching their children a God-based morality, tend to turn out ok. There are exceptions and extremists in all situations, but the majority of families connected with church and that pray together and are involved in family activities tend to have successful lives and marriages. Since prayer, religion, and a basic belief in God and his commandments have been discounted, abandoned, and replaced with secular, liberal ideas and practices, our society all over has declined. You are obviously a part of this "new and improved" morality, and thus can't see the forest for the trees, Bob.
I would expect that such "good people", as the natives here love to shove in everyone's face, would already have better qualities. You in-breds are so hell bent on telling everyone that you go to church every week, and sometimes twice a week, fawn all over family being important, and being true to God is number one, yet the divorce rate is off the scale here.

So much for "Good Oklahoma Values".

Funny how the "Evil Liberal" New England states have a lower divorce rate, PLUS they allow gay civil unions. Whoda'thunkit?
JEFF

Oklahoma City, OK

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#10
Nov 17, 2010
 

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THE REASON PEOPLE WHO WORSHIP THE DEVIL STAY MARRIED IS BECAUSE THEY GET TO GO OUT AND DO EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT, WITH NO QUESTIONS ASKED.
THEY DONT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT MORALS AND VALUES.
THE CHRISTIAN COUPLE HAS A MUCH TOUGHER ROAD. THEY HAVE TO ACTUALLY WORK TO INSTALL GOOD MORALS AND CHRISTIAN VALUES IN THERE HOME. READ THE BIBLE AND YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THIS. AS A CHRISTIAN, OUR RESPONSIBILITIES TO SERVE GOD ARE MUCH GREATER AND MORE DIFFICULT THAN SOMEONE WHO BELIEVES IN THE, ITS MY LIFE AND IM IN CONTROL TYPE OF PERSON. BEING A CHRISTIAN MEANS GIVING UP YOUR CONTROL AND KNOWING THAT GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF THE REST. HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE WILLING TO DO THIS?? NUFF SAID.
Mrs from Yukon

Oklahoma City, OK

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#11
Nov 17, 2010
 

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not the other chris wrote:
<quoted text>
Has nothing to do with the Bible Belt. It has to do with parents not raising their kids to be responsible. It has to do with new and improved policies of handing out condoms while telling kids to be safe and responsible. It has to do with this new mentality of lack of personal accountability and individual "rights" not being infringed upon even if the person is only 15 or 16. It has to do with liberalism and its promotion of a morality now based more on the "right" of "self-expression" and freedom to do anything one wants, and society will assume the responsibility for any consequences. It has to do with the liberal push for enhanced welfare and the economic advantage of pumping out kids without being able to afford to take care of them, since government will pay for it. Shall I go on?
The only thing religion has to do with it, is that families that are intact and responsible in teaching their children a God-based morality, tend to turn out ok. There are exceptions and extremists in all situations, but the majority of families connected with church and that pray together and are involved in family activities tend to have successful lives and marriages. Since prayer, religion, and a basic belief in God and his commandments have been discounted, abandoned, and replaced with secular, liberal ideas and practices, our society all over has declined. You are obviously a part of this "new and improved" morality, and thus can't see the forest for the trees, Bob.
I do not think I could have said that any better!!!
not the other chris

Oklahoma City, OK

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#12
Nov 17, 2010
 

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Citizen Bob wrote:
<quoted text>
I would expect that such "good people", as the natives here love to shove in everyone's face, would already have better qualities. You in-breds are so hell bent on telling everyone that you go to church every week, and sometimes twice a week, fawn all over family being important, and being true to God is number one, yet the divorce rate is off the scale here.
So much for "Good Oklahoma Values".
Funny how the "Evil Liberal" New England states have a lower divorce rate, PLUS they allow gay civil unions. Whoda'thunkit?
Well, you've demonstrated clearly what I've said. You have made it clear, you hate tradition, you hate conventional morality, you loathe the concept of marriage yet you endorse gay marriages, and you don't believe in God.(I think there are only 2 states now out of 50 that ensorse same-sex marriage and laws of both are being challenged, but hey, if it works for you, go there.) Your stats are fabricated as usual. And sorry to say, but the good people of Oklahoma are indeed GOOD people for the most part. If you are so enamoured with the progressive eastern United States, you and your boyfriend might move there and continue your advocacy for destroying America.

You can disagree with all my nonsense about lack of responsibility, moral decay, a renewed effort to create a giant welfare state, new-wave policies that contradict a solid value-based ethic, and moving away from traditional American family values as reasons for the increase in broken or single-parent families, and cling to your belief that it is Christians that are the cause of our demise. That is your right. As stupid and myopic as it is, this is still America.

It is people like you, Bob, that retard the development of a true civilized society. New isn't always good. Your anything goes attitude and obsession with rights, disdain for social standards - and that includes the belief of "One nation under God" - is what is getting us farther and farther away from the strength and unity and value system that was once our greatness. Many fools will buy into something if it's packaged attractively enough, regardless of how destructive it may be. You apparently are among those unable to be more discerning about what is eternally sound.
EyeRoll

United States

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#13
Nov 17, 2010
 

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Unfortunately a LOT of people who rush into marriage are young (teen/twenties) people who have the scary realization of a pregnancy out of wedlock. Why don't we just advance our views of unwed mothers?
Big Bad Wolf

Dayton, OH

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#14
Nov 17, 2010
 

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Citizen Bob wrote:
<quoted text>
I would expect that such "good people", as the natives here love to shove in everyone's face, would already have better qualities. You in-breds are so hell bent on telling everyone that you go to church every week, and sometimes twice a week, fawn all over family being important, and being true to God is number one, yet the divorce rate is off the scale here.
So much for "Good Oklahoma Values".
Funny how the "Evil Liberal" New England states have a lower divorce rate, PLUS they allow gay civil unions. Whoda'thunkit?
Now I'm not a religous or spiritual person, and I realize "the natives" divorce too, but I'm willing to bet the majority of divorces are people who don't have the commitment like ntoc stated.
ridetowork

Edmond, OK

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Nov 17, 2010
 

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"Divorce rates among conservative Christians were significantly higher than for other faith groups, and much higher than Atheists and Agnostics experience." http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_dira.ht...

If there's something amiss in the house - better to deal with it than ignore it!
Citizen Bob

Oklahoma City, OK

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Nov 17, 2010
 

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not the other chris wrote:
<quoted text>
Well, you've demonstrated clearly what I've said. You have made it clear, you hate tradition, you hate conventional morality, you loathe the concept of marriage yet you endorse gay marriages, and you don't believe in God.(I think there are only 2 states now out of 50 that ensorse same-sex marriage and laws of both are being challenged, but hey, if it works for you, go there.) Your stats are fabricated as usual. And sorry to say, but the good people of Oklahoma are indeed GOOD people for the most part. If you are so enamoured with the progressive eastern United States, you and your boyfriend might move there and continue your advocacy for destroying America.
You can disagree with all my nonsense about lack of responsibility, moral decay, a renewed effort to create a giant welfare state, new-wave policies that contradict a solid value-based ethic, and moving away from traditional American family values as reasons for the increase in broken or single-parent families, and cling to your belief that it is Christians that are the cause of our demise. That is your right. As stupid and myopic as it is, this is still America.
It is people like you, Bob, that retard the development of a true civilized society. New isn't always good. Your anything goes attitude and obsession with rights, disdain for social standards - and that includes the belief of "One nation under God" - is what is getting us farther and farther away from the strength and unity and value system that was once our greatness. Many fools will buy into something if it's packaged attractively enough, regardless of how destructive it may be. You apparently are among those unable to be more discerning about what is eternally sound.
You've demonstrated what a closed-minded and ignorant, self-pontificating individual you are.

I wonder what would happen if the divorce rate for you "oh so special Christians" were compared to the following, none of which is Christianity in a majority:

Japan
India
Pakistan
Israel
Korea
Laos
and a smattering of African tribes

I bet the numbers are much, much lower. But your excuse for that is those people are "immoral" because they don't subscribe to your impossible to follow and live belief system.

Be careful, because it's a long way to fall from that high horse of yours.
bored at work

Oklahoma City, OK

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Nov 17, 2010
 

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EyeRoll wrote:
Unfortunately a LOT of people who rush into marriage are young (teen/twenties) people who have the scary realization of a pregnancy out of wedlock. Why don't we just advance our views of unwed mothers?
I agree with this. I know several couples that were pressured into marriage in their teen/twentie by parents or social prejudice due to a pregnancy. It wasn't right, but I too have felt the pressure of people thinking badly of being pregnant out of wedlock.

But I also think that marriage in this state is too easily obtained and given to anyone who wants to stand in line for 30 minutes at a local courthouse. We are slowly making this sacrament into a joke. Married today, divorced in 6 months with no reason needed. Too many kids are growing up seeing that divorce is acceptable and marriage means nothing. So instead of them saying "When I find someone special and get married." it's more like "for my first marriage, I want my dress/cake/decorations to be..."
EyeRoll

United States

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Nov 17, 2010
 

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bored at work wrote:
<quoted text>
I agree with this. I know several couples that were pressured into marriage in their teen/twentie by parents or social prejudice due to a pregnancy. It wasn't right, but I too have felt the pressure of people thinking badly of being pregnant out of wedlock.
But I also think that marriage in this state is too easily obtained and given to anyone who wants to stand in line for 30 minutes at a local courthouse. We are slowly making this sacrament into a joke. Married today, divorced in 6 months with no reason needed. Too many kids are growing up seeing that divorce is acceptable and marriage means nothing. So instead of them saying "When I find someone special and get married." it's more like "for my first marriage, I want my dress/cake/decorations to be..."
SO there with ya. I do believe in going through a couples counseling/preparation before you can even get your wedding license. People don't usually know how to deal with issues in a healthy manner. My parents always went into another room and talked things out and came out. This lead to two children who DID NOT know how to sort out differences in a healthy fashion. Another woman I know had parents do the same thing, and her and her husband get into rock'em sock'em throw each other around kind of fights - in front of their children.
However, I do believe in EQUAL rights and think that we ought to offer CIVIL UNIONS and if you want a marriage you can go to your church and get the blessings of your pastor/priest/etc.
My sister had two kids out of wedlock, and if she were forced into marriage, I seriously think she wouldn't be with us today. I've been in a serious, long term relationship (we are both straight, so don't go spouting off homophobic rants, anyone). We lived together for 5 years. Going back to the Civil Union thing: we could have had a lot less financial worry had we had the same rights as married couples, finances wouldn't have been so bad because of the whole marriage tax break, and it's easier to find state offered (usually free) counseling for MARRIED couples. Things ended rough. We might be reconicling (?) but if we'd been married, there is no doubt in my mind we'd have gone through a divorce with what we were dealing with.
JEFF

Oklahoma City, OK

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#19
Nov 17, 2010
 
Citizen Bob wrote:
<quoted text>
You've demonstrated what a closed-minded and ignorant, self-pontificating individual you are.
I wonder what would happen if the divorce rate for you "oh so special Christians" were compared to the following, none of which is Christianity in a majority:
Japan
India
Pakistan
Israel
Korea
Laos
and a smattering of African tribes
I bet the numbers are much, much lower. But your excuse for that is those people are "immoral" because they don't subscribe to your impossible to follow and live belief system.
Be careful, because it's a long way to fall from that high horse of yours.
WELL, I AM SORRY TO HEAR THAT. BUT THOSE OF US WHO STAY FAITHFULL TILL THE END WILL BE REWARDED WITH ETERNAL LIFE!! AND YOU WILL BE THE ONLY ONE FALLING FROM THE HORSE MY FRIEND. HAVE A NICE DAY AND I WILL PRAY FOR YOU.
sheesh

Blanchard, OK

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#20
Nov 19, 2010
 

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Our divorce rate is higher probably because our marriage rate is higher. People in other places are more likely to just shack up than get married. Of course that will make their "divorce rate" lower. If people aren't getting married, they aren't divorcing either. I wonder how many of those situations end up in a break-up?
It would be interesting to see a comparison of people who live together vs married people. How many stay together for the long haul. Honestly, I've never met any couple who just lived together, make it in the long run.

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