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“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#1 Feb 8, 2013
DEAR AMY: My neighbor has three kids and a minivan. I work at home and often notice she warms her car up for a long time (often 10 minutes or more) from a remote starter. She is polluting the air we all breathe unnecessarily and wasting gas.

I feel like she is infringing on my rights to live in a clean world where we already have such a climate crisis. Is there a way to address this with her?-- Fretting in Oak Park

DEAR FRETTING: By all means -- advocate for the climate, but you could probably make the biggest impact by taking these kids to school in your pedicab. I assume you'll offer.

If you want to open up a conversation about carbon footprints, be aware that there are real and relational consequences. If you weigh in on your neighbor's polluting habits, she might decide she'd like to come to your house and evaluate your pollution-emitting carpet, furnace or roof shingles.

If you feel your health is at risk from your neighbor's vehicle exhaust, you have a right to ask her not to idle her van near your house. Know, however, that while you have the right to make any request you like -- unless your neighbor is breaking a local statute or law, you cannot prevent her from doing as she pleases, including "wasting gas."

DEAR AMY: My 20-year-old daughter "Katie" has had her share of ups and downs with me and her dad. She has shown incredibly bad judgment by engaging in risky behavior, displays hypersexual tendencies, and shows no remorse for the pain she has caused us over the years. She has struggled with manic depression since she was a teenager but will not take her medication or participate in therapy.

I have recently discovered that she is having an affair with a married teacher at the local high school.

She is not even a little bit guilty about this. I saw one of their text messages and it was like reading a chapter of "Fifty Shades of Grey." Now his wife has found out about her husband so they are no longer hiding the affair. Katie refuses to discuss it with me. She will yell, slam doors and carry on if you try to approach any subject she does not want to discuss.

She is engaged to a nice guy. I really want to tell her fiance about what is going on but I don't know if I should. I have hinted to him that my daughter is not the "perfect angel" he has imagined her to be but he refuses to listen.

I cannot even stand to be in the same room with my daughter knowing that she is lying to everyone by not coming clean about the nature of her relationship with this man. I keep wondering if I should contact the school to let them know what kind of teacher they are employing.-- Disgusted and Confused

DEAR DISGUSTED: Your daughter's behavior is distressing. I know it's a challenge to avoid being drawn into her mess, but you should do your very best to distance yourself from her drama and to keep your focus on urging her to get treatment -- and protecting yourself from her emotional maelstrom. Focus on your own behavior -- staying strong, calm and consistent.

I don't believe you should plow along, making phone calls and warning people about your daughter; you should seek professional support and advice for yourself about how to cope with (and react) to her. Author Kay Redfield Jamison offers professional and personal insight into bipolar disorder in her memoir, "An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness" (1997, Vintage). I highly recommend it.

DEAR AMY: I agreed with your advice to "Confused," who wanted to get together with an old flame with whom he'd had a sexually charged friendship.

This definitely places his current relationship at risk. Like you, I feel he should limit any contact to a quick phone call -- and his partner should be told about it.-- Been There

DEAR BEEN THERE: The five-alarm bells were ringing about this particular letter. Thank you.

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

#2 Feb 8, 2013
1 Dear LW, you are the douche of the day.
If one of my neighbors ever approached me about my wasteful ways, I'd first laugh long and hard in their face, then tell thm to MYOB and get the h#ll outta my face.

2 I assume your daughter lives with you by the tone of the letter. Task #1: toss her whore butt out.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#3 Feb 8, 2013
LW1: Where's chunzel? You know what this bitch needs.

LW2: You don't like your daughter's behavior. Great. Now come to terms withthe fact that she is no longer a child, not your responsibility, and not under your control. You cannot change her behavior. She yells and screams when you bring up topics she does not want to discuss? Then don't bringthem up. She is not your problem to fix. And don't involve yourself in her troubles. You want to goto the school to try to punish the teacher? Really? Stay the f out of it. If you can't stand to be around her, DON'T BE AROUND HER.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#4 Feb 8, 2013
L1: Click and Clack the Tappit Brothers say that idling your car doesn't really warm up the engine -- driving slowly for the first several minutes of your drive does a better job of that. THey also said that 2 minutes is the maximum time for idling, and that's only in extreme temps (like 10 degrees and colder).

However: Don't say anything. Nothing good will come of it, and more importantly, get off your high horse. Unless you do absolutely everything green and earth-friendly, you have ZERO room to chastize your neighbor.

"If you feel your health is at risk from your neighbor’s vehicle exhaust, you have a right to ask her not to idle her van near your house." Stupid, Amy. C'mon, that's stupid even for YOU.

L2: "I saw one of their text messages and it was like reading a chapter of “Fifty Shades of Grey.”" Y ou mean their texts are poorly written and their sex lives have a lack of imagination?

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#5 Feb 8, 2013
1 Your attitude is laughable, absolutely incredulous that you think you have any "right" to tell them what to do. Go ahead, I hope she beyotch slaps you into next week.

2 Why do you let her live in your house, and why do you let her control the conversations? Since she aint hiding the affair, bring it up for discussion at the table when BF is over. She aint crazy, your weak.

3 Whatever, I forgot the letterq

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#6 Feb 8, 2013
race, I think it was the letter from the gay guy whose relationship is lacking in the sex department, but his old flame is back in town, living as a straight man and he wanted to introduce his girlfriend to LW.

Since: Oct 09

Wagner, SD

#7 Feb 8, 2013
LW1: Wow. I don't even have words for how idiotic you are. It's a dam good thing that you work at home, so you're not inflicting your crazy busybody meddling uptight nonsense on cube-dwellers who cannot get away from you during the day.

And edog, before you start in on how this is a "typical lib" trying to "take away our freedoms and liberty", note that this is exactly what too many on your side are constantly trying to do to us gals, attempting to legally dictate and control our personal lives.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Garden City, MI

#8 Feb 8, 2013
Judge Janie wrote:
And edog, before you start in on how this is a "typical lib" trying to "take away our freedoms and liberty", note that this is exactly what too many on your side are constantly trying to do to us gals, attempting to legally dictate and control our personal lives.
I hear a lot of feminists making that claim. Could you please provide one example?

(And keep in mind that it was Republicans who granted women the right to vote.)
PEllen

Chicago, IL

#9 Feb 8, 2013
Judge Janie wrote:
LW1: Wow. I don't even have words for how idiotic you are. It's a dam good thing that you work at home, so you're not inflicting your crazy busybody meddling uptight nonsense on cube-dwellers who cannot get away from you during the day.
And edog, before you start in on how this is a "typical lib" trying to "take away our freedoms and liberty", note that this is exactly what too many on your side are constantly trying to do to us gals, attempting to legally dictate and control our personal lives.
The word you want is "eco-nazi". It is similar to 2nd graders who are being taught about recycling in school and criticize which bin you put each piece of garbage. However, 2nd graders grow out of it.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#10 Feb 8, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
I hear a lot of feminists making that claim. Could you please provide one example?
(And keep in mind that it was Republicans who granted women the right to vote.)
The republican party of 100 years ago is light years away from the Republican party of today. Not the same thing at all.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#11 Feb 8, 2013
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
The word you want is "eco-nazi". It is similar to 2nd graders who are being taught about recycling in school and criticize which bin you put each piece of garbage. However, 2nd graders grow out of it.
Ha!

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#12 Feb 8, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
I hear a lot of feminists making that claim. Could you please provide one example?
(And keep in mind that it was Republicans who granted women the right to vote.)
Only one example?

Trying to make birth control illegal. Trying to put even more restrictions on legal, safe abortion.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Garden City, MI

#13 Feb 8, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
The republican party of 100 years ago is light years away from the Republican party of today. Not the same thing at all.
And southern democrats fought to prevent the end of slavery.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#14 Feb 8, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
And southern democrats fought to prevent the end of slavery.
Southern Democrats fought the CIvils Rights Act as well. Then they became Republicans because the racists in the south didn't want to belong to the party that gave blacks rights.

So neither party is the same as what they were generations ago.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#15 Feb 8, 2013
LW1: Yes, she's doing this just to pollute your personal air. Clearly you don't have kids or you'd realize that she probably intended to get out to the car much sooner than she actually does.

Unless it's winter. Then she's warming the car up so it will be warm on the inside, yanno, for the kids.

And, btw, you sound like a total a$$hole.

LW2: What RACE said.

LW3: Mmmm, smoked rehash. But I prefer lox.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#16 Feb 8, 2013
Oh, right the guy wanted to seduce him.
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
race, I think it was the letter from the gay guy whose relationship is lacking in the sex department, but his old flame is back in town, living as a straight man and he wanted to introduce his girlfriend to LW.
Sam I Am

Nashville, TN

#17 Feb 8, 2013
1. I would buy a pack of dogs just so I could feed them raw chicken and have them get sick all over your front porch.

2. You do not bust her out, but you do make it clear that, if asked, you will not lie or otherwise conceal what is going on. Other than that, she'll eventually land in a hard place, and you're then going to have to decide how much you want to help pick her up.

3. Sooooo, you wrote just to say "Yeah?"

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#18 Feb 8, 2013
L1: Please write a follow-up letter from the hospital describing what happened after you told her.

Redhead -- I always warmed up the car, not to make the car run better (although when it was -10 or something it did), it was for me so I could get into a nice, warm car.

L2: The risky behavior and everything she is doing are symptoms of a manic-depressive. She's 20. Nothing much you can do. You need to get your own therapist to learn how to deal with mental illness in the family.

L3: Not even Amy asked for everyone/anyone to chime in on that letter, did she?

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Garden City, MI

#19 Feb 8, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
Only one example?
Trying to make birth control illegal. Trying to put even more restrictions on legal, safe abortion.
Source please

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#20 Feb 8, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
And southern democrats fought to prevent the end of slavery.
A hundred and fifty-some years ago! Dolt.

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