question for guys
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pops

United States

#1 Oct 4, 2012
Would you be ok with your wife talkin to her ex when there are no kids involved? In front of you or on the phone. What are your thoughts?

“Escaped to The North”

Level 2

Since: Feb 08

Location hidden

#2 Oct 4, 2012
Ask her why she feels the need to maintain contact with her ex and if you don't like it, explain to her how you feel.

Personally, unless i'm aware of whats going on in the conversation, I'm not okay with that.
smar tass

Powhatan, LA

#3 Oct 4, 2012
maybe one of her EX in-laws passed away and they are letting them know that. just because the marriage is over doesn't mean that you automatically have to divorce the family and friends.

just the views of a smar tass.
pops

United States

#4 Oct 4, 2012
Her defense is that he is just someone she knows or a friend & doesn't wanna be rude but in my opinion they aren't in her life now so why waste your breath. Plus it's disrespectful to our marriage &d me.
smar tass

Powhatan, LA

#5 Oct 4, 2012
pops wrote:
Her defense is that he is just someone she knows or a friend & doesn't wanna be rude but in my opinion they aren't in her life now so why waste your breath. Plus it's disrespectful to our marriage &d me.
with NO KIDS, i couldn't agree more. the only time u should talk is in the case of what i mentioned. but again those are my views.
fanny mae

United States

#6 Oct 5, 2012
she will will prolly stay friends with you too after the divorce so get over it. you her partner not her boss. if you so insecure you should not have married someone with such a history but now you in it so good luck!
pops

United States

#7 Oct 5, 2012
They weren't married & split up a little over 10 years ago. Just dated for almost 2 years plus after that found out he had cheated...
pops

United States

#8 Oct 5, 2012
Well I know that some people are too nice for their own good but We both took vows. I will always uphold them. I was just curious as to what others gelt about the issue.
pops

United States

#9 Oct 5, 2012
Sorry felt about the issue. And further more not threatened by the individual because I know I'm a better person.
Marine Wife

United States

#10 Oct 5, 2012
My husband and I both have occasional contact with our exes. We are Facebook friends with a couple of them. But we have discussed it & are ok with this. It really shouldn't matter what other people think, what matters is it bothers you. I think you should think about the reasons this bothers you & calmly discuss them with your wife. Be careful not to make accusations & ask how she would feel if you did that. Then you should decide together what y'all are & aren't comfortable with.
pops

Pearland, TX

#11 Oct 5, 2012
Marine Wife wrote:
My husband and I both have occasional contact with our exes. We are Facebook friends with a couple of them. But we have discussed it & are ok with this. It really shouldn't matter what other people think, what matters is it bothers you. I think you should think about the reasons this bothers you & calmly discuss them with your wife. Be careful not to make accusations & ask how she would feel if you did that. Then you should decide together what y'all are & aren't comfortable with.


Thank for you honest yet nuetral opinion
One Last Word

Shreveport, LA

#12 Oct 5, 2012
pops wrote:
<quoted text>
Thank for you honest yet nuetral opinion
If my husband had a problem with me speaking to an ex, which I don't do, I would respect my husbands feelings and not do it unless it was an emergency situation. I would expect the same in return from him though. But on the other hand my ex is deceased so it is not going to be an issue.
pops

Lubbock, TX

#13 Oct 6, 2012
One Last Word wrote:
<quoted text>If my husband had a problem with me speaking to an ex, which I don't do, I would respect my husbands feelings and not do it unless it was an emergency situation. I would expect the same in return from him though. But on the other hand my ex is deceased so it is not going to be an issue.
Very good point. Thank You
lady rose

Walker, LA

#14 Oct 7, 2012
I'm sorry that you are going through this because I can imagine how aggravatting that must be. Her ex is probably just trying to start something but only your spouse can put a stop to the contact. You should by all means make your feelings &my expectations be known and that it is a serious matter.
whello

United States

#15 Oct 7, 2012
when you marry someone who has an ex you get the ex & the ex in laws, ex grand parents, your ex's new husband & all that family. people & relationships don't rotate around you. people don't dissapear cause you made a mistake or two.
lady rose

Orange, TX

#16 Oct 8, 2012
whello wrote:
when you marry someone who has an ex you get the ex & the ex in laws, ex grand parents, your ex's new husband & all that family. people & relationships don't rotate around you. people don't dissapear cause you made a mistake or two.
Would you agree that if it's a just an ex gf or bf from a decade ago, that that is the past which wouldn't make them or their family a part of your current life. I for one have no problem removing my past from my present &my future especially since there are no children.
mother of two
#17 Oct 8, 2012
u should ask does she really not want to be mean or has her feelings for him never died down me i have no problem getting rid of mi past but i completly understand where u r comming from she should respect how u fill and let her no that its uncomfortable for you and also disrespectful ask her how she would fill if the situation were reversed if u were the one taking to an EX how would she fill if althoyou shouldn't make accusations anought her and her ex unless you have proff
lady rose

Houston, TX

#18 Oct 8, 2012
mother of two wrote:
u should ask does she really not want to be mean or has her feelings for him never died down me i have no problem getting rid of mi past but i completly understand where u r comming from she should respect how u fill and let her no that its uncomfortable for you and also disrespectful ask her how she would fill if the situation were reversed if u were the one taking to an EX how would she fill if althoyou shouldn't make accusations anought her and her ex unless you have proff
So true. If you can't respect your spouse's feelings for & marriage then she is definitely in the wrong
lizzy beth

United States

#19 Oct 9, 2012
She shouldn't talk to her ex if she doesn't have kids with because it's disrepectful to you & your marriage but if it continues the best thing is to let him have her because obviously she has issues with commitment and you don't deserve that kind of torture
sweet irish cream

United States

#20 Oct 10, 2012
Trust is the foundation of every relation. We cannot live without our true relationships. True and honest relationships are source of happiness in our lives. We always want to have good relationships with others. If you want to build good relationships with your parents, friends and family members, you need to maintain the trust level.

If you maintain trust level, your relationships will remain throughout of your life. If you are honest and loyal with your relationships, they will remain yourself for a long period of time. If you are not able to maintain the level of trust, you will lose your true relationships.

Obviously you situation has caused some trust issues so maybe you need to sit down and evaluate them.

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