what_if

Prairieville, LA

#1 Jan 5, 2013
What would u do if ur husband had a child w/another woman while still being married to u and u found out when the child support starting coming out his check. He never told u about it?
cannot imagine

Pineville, LA

#2 Jan 5, 2013
what_if wrote:
What would u do if ur husband had a child w/another woman while still being married to u and u found out when the child support starting coming out his check. He never told u about it?
I'd be so heartbroken. I would probably file for divorce on grounds of adultery and sue him for alimony for life.
gnc

United States

#3 Jan 5, 2013
I would definitely feel betrayed and most definitely would end the marriage as well as make him pay.......
One More Word

Zwolle, LA

#4 Jan 6, 2013
what_if wrote:
What would u do if ur husband had a child w/another woman while still being married to u and u found out when the child support starting coming out his check. He never told u about it?
So either this has happend to you or to a friend, right?
For sure I would not be discussing it on Topix.
what_if

Austin, TX

#5 Jan 8, 2013
I know someone this has happened to and she does not know yet. I am haven't yet decided on whether or not i should bring her up to speed. I just found out a few days ago. I think she is full well in her rights to know but i don't normally get involved in other peoples relationships because it brings bad karma. I am not close to her either. I have known her husband for years. But i can't but feel if it happened to me and someone found out i would want them to tell me.
gnc

Call, TX

#6 Jan 8, 2013
If you are close friends. I feel that you should tell her in a way that let's her know that you aren't trying to start drama but care for her well-being and happiness. The resulting consequences could go either way.

“It's all in your head”

Level 3

Since: Aug 12

Somewhere

#7 Jan 8, 2013
He could be lying to her about the money that's being spent on child support by telling her it's for something else. To me, not letting her know about the kid is just as bad, if not worse, as cheating on her. If he IS lying to her about where the money is going, that's rubbing salt in the wound by making a fool of her. I feel bad for this kid. I'm assuming his/her mother knows the father is married, so he/she has a marriage-ruining mother and a cheating father. I hope the man's wife doesn't have any kids. That way she can make a clean break and let the other woman have the man she (the other woman) thinks is such a catch.

You could find a way to let her know anonymously. Type (no hand-writing) a note and send it in the mail and hope she gets it and he doesn't. Type the letter AND the address - and don't absent-mindedly put you return address, either ;-) OR create an e-mail address for the sole purpose of anonymously e-mailing her if you know her e-mail address. Never use this e-mail address again. If you don't know her e-mail address, don't ask HIM for it or he'll know it came from you. If we didn't live in the age of caller id, you could call her mother and tell HER. That would fix HIM really fast.
what_if

United States

#8 Jan 9, 2013
I really liked the idea of an anonymous letter. So being old fashioned as it may, I asked my parents, who are much wiser than I, for their opinion. They pointed out several details that I myself overlooked.

The most important one being that based on how old the child is now, the mother would have gotten pregnant while the married couple were going thru a stage of separation.

Also that if he is the type of man who is willing to lie to his wife and hide a child, then who is to say that he did not lie to the woman who had his child. If he lied to the mother as well then sending an anonymous letter could come back on the mother as some sort of revenge plot.

There is also the possibility that the wife may have been told and forgiven the husband since they were separated at the time of the indiscretion. Receiving a letter may be stressful on the new found relationship.

Or the possibility that the wife may know about the child. However the mother of the child may not be asking anything of the husband therefore no one chooses to discuss the matter.

Many points I, myself, did not consider. Since that I do not know all of the facts I believe my parents advise is best. I have decided not to get myself involved in the situation.

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