Stupid Women of Abusive relationships
temika

United States

#21 Oct 31, 2010
Oh I forgot to say this, don't stay with someone because u are worried about what people will think. who cares what they think. Do whats best for u. what would make u happy?
Google

Clarksville, AR

#22 Nov 1, 2010
Shanna wrote:
<quoted text>
Well well well here is another woman thats in abuse that want to get out, Do you see what I mean STUPID. Yes some I do but I never put my hands on them cause they say he LOVES me...Its MY fault I made him mad. Im no digrace you are at least I am speaking out How about you ..
I will again tell you because it is apparent your comprehension skills are lacking, I am in a wonderful relationship. My mother was abused and I seen what she went through, I see it in my PROFESSION a lot, because of the choice I made for my career. To sit and hear personally what some people go through is enough to make your head turn circles.Then to come on here and read such
asinine things spewed about. Even if you have those opinions about such a person, when "reaching out" those opinions need to be to your self, otherwise you are going to come off as contemptuous ( as you did in your post already). Your "speaking out" as you call it is disrespectful, you are no better than the abuser, because there are many types of abuse, and emotional can be harder at times that physical...you are aware that calling people names is a sign of abuse right?
then what

United States

#23 Nov 7, 2010
since u know so much then explain to me what else u can do but stay when u have no other resources but those provided by your husband. u r so quick to judge but until u have to live with it on a daily basis then please keep your opinions to yourslf
Amber

United States

#24 Nov 8, 2010
I wish this forum wld disappear. Until you have been in those ladies heads, hearts and shoes, YOU KNOW NOTHING! PRAYER WORKS BETTER THAN PUBLIC DISGRACE! I'm just sayin!
my shoes

United States

#25 Nov 8, 2010
Amber wrote:
I wish this forum wld disappear. Until you have been in those ladies heads, hearts and shoes, YOU KNOW NOTHING! PRAYER WORKS BETTER THAN PUBLIC DISGRACE! I'm just sayin!
thank you Amber...
help

Pollock, LA

#26 Nov 8, 2010
then what wrote:
since u know so much then explain to me what else u can do but stay when u have no other resources but those provided by your husband. u r so quick to judge but until u have to live with it on a daily basis then please keep your opinions to yourslf
There is all kinds of government assistance they can get for them and their kids...it might not be enough to live lavishly but you can live. You can get free housing, foodstamps, health insurance...etc. you can even get your electricity paid if you get up to the pine belt place in time. There is no excuse...if you want to get out bad enough you will get out!
momz

Cambridge, NE

#27 Nov 8, 2010
Instead of bad mouthing these women, please say a prayer of courage and strength. Unless you have been in that situation, you don't know how it feels. PLEASE take the steps you need to, to get a fresh life you deserve. I'll pray for you...
Can not understand

Russellville, AR

#28 Nov 8, 2010
I can not understand what some of these women are thinking. I know a few women, one comes to mind whose boyfriend/partner whatever you call it these days who acts like a complete ass to her. She looks like movie star, she is so beautiful (inside and out) she could have anyone she wanted. Some people just don't realise what they have bc I know first hand she treats him better than I've ever seen anyone treat a man. I juar don't get it, I wish there were a way to make these people see the grass IS GREENER on the otherside for them.
Can not understand

Russellville, AR

#29 Nov 8, 2010
Sorry for the spelling errors* I typed too fast.
keisha

Williston, FL

#30 Nov 10, 2010
Can not understand wrote:
I can not understand what some of these women are thinking. I know a few women, one comes to mind whose boyfriend/partner whatever you call it these days who acts like a complete ass to her. She looks like movie star, she is so beautiful (inside and out) she could have anyone she wanted. Some people just don't realise what they have bc I know first hand she treats him better than I've ever seen anyone treat a man. I juar don't get it, I wish there were a way to make these people see the grass IS GREENER on the otherside for them.
maybe its because she doesn't know what she wants or she's in love with someone who isnt there for her so she takes whatever comes along. sounds like she's real confused. just pray for her even if she don't get the one shes really in love with pray that a good man will oome along and make her feel special.
Penny

Pasadena, CA

#31 Jun 21, 2011
I am sorry, but yes women in abusive relationships who will not get out and keep going back are idiots.

They need more education and to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps.

They need to be independent and not be so afraid to be alone. I have seen 3 of my friends go through abusive relationships and they knew they wouldn't get any sympathy from me! They finally realized their mistakes and got out.
Been there

United States

#32 Jun 22, 2011
I haven't read all the comments about this subject but the ones I have about how women are stupid for staying, well your stupid for thinking that. I was once in a abusive relationship and yes I stayed. I was actually still a teenager at the time and lived with my parents who raised me very well and taught me that being hit on was something you should never let anyone do to you and to stand up for myself. Most abusive relationships don't start off right away with being hit on. They first wear you down by bringing you down, by making you feel worthless, and be making you think they are the only person you have. I was a young teenager, who had lots of friends, church and had never thought of myself has worthless. But the guy I started dating never thought in my life he would ever hit me. It started off him making threats, pointing out my flaws, putting me down and then thats when he started grabbing & pushing me. One night he lost it and started choking me, and I didn't tell. A hour later he was loving up to me tellign me how much he loved me and then got mad at me for not forgiving him for doing what he had done and telling him I loved him back. That went on for a few months until one night he lost it and beat me with a belt and throw me up against his wall while his daddy sat in their living room which was a few feet away from his bedroom. I wanted out but by then I was so scared of what people would think of me and people telling me how stupid I was. He had done wore me down to where I couldn't help but think what I did to make him do what he did, and that night I said sorry to him for beating me with a belt, I said sorry to him for making him mad because I knew he had a temper and I shouldn't push his buttons. He had me right where he wanted me then, he couldm ake me feel guilty about hitting me. Woman don't stay and keep going back because they're stupid, we stay and og back because men like that will wear you down to notihng andm ake you feel like your all they have and really why shouildn't we think that when people like this will ocme on here and put abused women down, that only makes them feel like they have no where to turn so instead of making thme feel like their abusive husbands and boyfriends are making thme feel how lifting them up, letting them know that someone does care someone is there and maybe then it will be alot easier for abused women to get out of the relationship!!!! And yea most go back they don't make them stupid, it makes them a victim and they go back to what they only know! So beofre getting on here putting abused women or teenagers like us down take a step in our shoes because being hit on day by day isn't easy!! The ones who put us down, you outta be ashamed of yourselves. I got out of my abusive relatioship but it took me getting pregnant and him choking me at 3 months before I would. The love for my child was more powerful then the hold he had on me. i've gone through alot with my daughter but i've survived and its made me a stronger and better person but I can tell you this, I know a goodm an when I see one and I know a bad one. i'll never let a man treat me that way ever again And most important I've found peace and forgiven him for what he has done and i've moved on. Some people really need to think twice before opening their mouths because the ones who are putting the abused down, your only making yourself look like a idoit and heartless.
Uncle Earle

United States

#33 Jun 22, 2011
I know someone that saw a guy for years and he constantly ran around on her and disrespected her in public and she stayed in the relationship because she "loved" him. Everytime she caught him, he promised he would change but he never did. I'm proud to say that she finally got away from him and found a decent guy that treats her right. She tells me if she see's him to this day it is still hard because she still loves him but she is never going back. I don't understand what it is that these guys have over women that makes them stay. I would never do someone like that. My parents raised me better.
Dan

Greenfield, NH

#34 Oct 26, 2011
I've been abused by more women than men in my entire life but women get away with more crimes than men ever do. People argue that women fight in less wars than men but the fact is it's not because they don't want to and if given the chance commit vicious war crimes just like men do at rape prisons like at Abu Ghriab in Iraq. Anyway, I think it's sad to see bumper stickers crying out for women when women are just as cruel and vicious than men. Also women tend to lie a lot more at work, school, the office, or in friendships and other types of relationships to manipulate people. Sure it's obvious when a man punches someone but not so obvious when a woman puts on her "professional victim" hat and tries to turn people against someone that never even hurt her. I'm 100% and did the stereotypical thing of making more female friends than male friends growing up and in my 20s. I know how women really are and the extreme games they can play. Heck, Psychology Today Magazine did an article on how women are more cut throat in "office" or "business" type situations to get promotions or to get someone fired she doesn't want in her way. So I think it's sad that if a man has a bumper sticker that says something like "The world would be a better place if men were cared about more" would be laughed at but women can have bumper stickers promoting their needs, wants, and desires all the time. And furthermore a Sociology professor of mine (who just happens to be a woman) stated that most domestic violence occurs because the female often instigates the situation. She went on to say that it is NOT OK for a man or a woman to hit their spouce and they shouldn't do that, but she did say that in most cases the woman brought it on herself by doing or saying stuff to provoke the situation. She did say a small % of men simply have anger issues and it's solely the man's fault for the abuse but in most cases she pointed out that women start the fires in the relationship, they are bossy, pushy, selfish and greedy and when they don't get what they want they either get abusive, passive-agressive, or pretend they got hurt when they didn't, even going so far as to file false reports on a man just because he broke up with her first or perhaps she wanted revenge of some kind. There are a lot of homicides each year that are highly questionable when the female claims to have been battered by her husband and she just had to shoot him. This happened in my family when witnesses heard the woman say she was going to shoot her husband even though he wasn't abusive to her to the extent she said. She tried to make it look like a suicide and ended up in court. She got away with it of course (because she's a woman in the USA and all she has to do is cry cry cry and put on the professional victim act). But the bottom line is that woman are NOT as innocent as they think. And people aren't as fooled anymore. Both men and women are abusive but women fly under the radar on their types of abuse which is often far more dangerous. Heck, I'd rather have a man punch me if he's mad at me rather than a woman trying to get me fired, turn people on me behind my back, ruin a relationship I'm in, or do any of the multitude of other games women play when they get out of control with their anger. Men are more obvious when they get angry but women can put on this fake smile and spend YEARS stabbing someone in the back. That is why I make more male friends these days and try to avoid women.
Aunt Erma

Greenfield, NH

#35 Oct 26, 2011
Uncle Earle wrote:
I know someone that saw a guy for years and he constantly ran around on her and disrespected her in public and she stayed in the relationship because she "loved" him. Everytime she caught him, he promised he would change but he never did. I'm proud to say that she finally got away from him and found a decent guy that treats her right. She tells me if she see's him to this day it is still hard because she still loves him but she is never going back. I don't understand what it is that these guys have over women that makes them stay. I would never do someone like that. My parents raised me better.
"Uncle Earle"?!?! You're obviously a woman hiding behind a man's screen name to make it look like a male figure has chimed in to defend women. What you just wrote sounds just how a woman would phrase it or tell a man how to phrase it. ha ha
wmnrstpd

Greenfield, NH

#36 Oct 26, 2011
Uncle Earle wrote:
I know someone that saw a guy for years and he constantly ran around on her and disrespected her in public and she stayed in the relationship because she "loved" him. Everytime she caught him, he promised he would change but he never did. I'm proud to say that she finally got away from him and found a decent guy that treats her right. She tells me if she see's him to this day it is still hard because she still loves him but she is never going back. I don't understand what it is that these guys have over women that makes them stay. I would never do someone like that. My parents raised me better.
Women try to find stupid men that pull in a lot of money so they can manipulate them, however this often backfires on the gold digger. For example she marries the high school white trash bully who picks on the smart kids because she's attracted to his toughness and knows he has the strength to protect her, she also knows that his strength and attitude/confidence will land him a blue collar job in which very little brains are involved. She figures he'll pull in a lot of $$$ and yet won't be smart enough to intimidate her mentally. However, her endeavors are often wrong when the geek grows up to be the better man and she's stuck with an abusive dullard who is now resentful for her wasting his life.

Level 1

Since: Jan 09

Winnfield La

#37 Oct 26, 2011
Women are attracted to the "bad boy" types - for instance Charlie Hunnam in Sons of Anarchy (it usually has nothing to do with money). It's the attitude. However, men are not without blame either. Let's face it guys 36-24-36 are the right numbers (think Megan Fox). You know and I know it.

When it comes down to abuse, women tend to be more verbally abusive and threatening. They can tear a man down. Men are most likely more physically abusive. I guess what I am really trying to say is abuse is abuse. No one should have to put up with verbal, mental, or physical abuse.
Cast not pearls

United States

#38 Oct 31, 2011
those of you who are trying to speak intelligently to this "shanna" person, just go ahead and give up now. You cannot talk to anyone rationally who uses the "argument of intimidation". The "argument of intimidation" is what people use when they try to imply that you have negative characteristics when you don't agree with them. In this particular instance, "shanna" implies you are "stupid", or that you yourself are in an abusive relationship for not agreeing, or taking offense at her moral judgement upon others.
Most likely this original post was made out of some sense of frustration, stemming from some failed interaction with someone IN an abuse relationship. This is understandable, to an extent. Everyone gets frustrated with the actions of others at time. What is not understandable is continuing to defend the horrible statements that were made as though they were rational and morally sound. They were not. It would have garnered much more respect to simply say "hey, my bad, guys, i was just pissed off, and venting because i'm frustrated with this situation". Instead this person continues to justify this attack against those who are victims by essentially giving the same statement that their attackers do "because of 'a', they deserve 'b'. It's immoral and intellectually dishonest.
Aubylil

Dublin, Ireland

#39 Aug 24, 2014
Shanna wrote:
I don't know why some women stay in abusive relationship. Some I understand and feel bad for but some I just want to kick their butts. I mean you are so stupid if you go back to the man. Picking him up and stuff from out of town and fighting everyday, but when people try to help you take that male side over the better judgement of saftey for you and your children. I don't even a woman can be called a mom if they can't speak up for their children...If you know some stupid women like this then dish it out...
That's because you have no empathy and haven't been there. you don't understand emeshment and the complex psychology behind this issue. you are victim blaming. and you are stupid..oh wait that last part..did I just unfairly judge you? Its unfair and it doesn't feel nice does it?
CKN

United States

#40 Sep 9, 2014
I have zero pity, empathy, compassion for anyone who stays in abusive relationships. You have made the choice to stay. If you choose to leave then go back you should not be allowed to call the police because you were bear up again. On some level you enjoy being the victim and enjoy the attention you get from this. You will continue to repeat your mistakes because you choose that life over one of safety. Sadly these people reproduce.

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