One More Word

Shreveport, LA

#1 Nov 18, 2012
Anyone want to share some good positive methods on raising teens now days? Like what is the appropriate age for dating. Any suggestions or ideas on parenting them. Please keep it clean and don't call anynames or bash anyone. Just some good ideas on parenting.
TeenWoes

Winnfield, LA

#2 Nov 18, 2012
One More Word wrote:
Anyone want to share some good positive methods on raising teens now days? Like what is the appropriate age for dating. Any suggestions or ideas on parenting them. Please keep it clean and don't call anynames or bash anyone. Just some good ideas on parenting.
This is a great site that is approved by professionals in child development. You can pretty much search whatever you have any questions with there , and I think they even have people online that can chat with you about specific questions like you mentioned above. Good luck and hope it was helpful!
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/parenting-ti...
worthy thread

Pineville, LA

#3 Nov 18, 2012
It is refreshing to see a worthy thread begun here and someone with serious concerns for our future leaders. Thank you parent(s) for being concerned with your children's raising. The time to guide your children's path is from birth, then teen years are much easier. Although a teen might go astray, if values are taught early in life they will come back to their teachings. "Train up a child in the way he should go , and when he is OLD, he will not depart from it."

Expect of your teen( and every child) to work within the family unit having responsibilities, each day for the welfare of the family unit. They should be expected to help prepare meals, keep the home clean, clothes laundered, dishes washed, trash emptied, pets tended to, in addition to their personal studies. Have family Bible reading, and sit down to meals together. Ask them to help prepare menus and help shop for groceries.
Ask them to help prepare the household budget and keep track of it..great training for them.
You will know when they are responsible enough to date, and it may be different for their friends. You should have a curfew. When they come in from a date, visit with them about the date. Always be waiting for them to get home and talk together in a genuinely caring way, not prying or intrusive.

“Escaped to The North”

Level 2

Since: Feb 08

Location hidden

#4 Nov 18, 2012
For a non-religious perspective...

Talk to them. And I don't mean lecture, I mean talk. Listen to what they have to say. If your child knows you will listen to them then they won't be so uncomfortable talking to you.

Don't invalidate them. Kids have thoughts and feelings too and they're not as stupid as adults may think. If your child thinks their feelings don't matter to you, they will me more hesitant to talk to you about anything.

Be firm, be consistent. You are a parent. Your role as a parent will entail discipline. Transgression must always be met with consequences. So in whatever consequences you render, be consistent. If kiddo does x-offense, then x-punishment happens. Consistently. Every time. Give no slack. Always hold them accountable and most importantly, EXPLAIN why this is happening. Yes, every time.

There are some who might say "I don't have to explain myself to a child!" And to that I say yes yes you do. Because if kids know why this is happening, that it's a consequence of their actions and not just vengeful parenting, then they're more likely to understand and abstain next time. Plus, it teaches them personal responsibility.

Talk to your teens about sex. And I mean actually talk. Don't avoid the subject. Their teens and hormones are raging and there's new feelings they've never felt before. Don't try to scare them with sin and the bible and abstinence only. That method does not work. Teens are not concerned about the hereafter and neither are plenty of adults. They'll be more concerned about tactile consequences in the here and now.

They need to be taught about sexually transmitted disease, pregnancy and how life changing it is and how to protect themselves from it. That means you're going to have to teach them about condoms and how they are used. Abstinence is good and 100% effective, but teens cannot be monitored 100% of the time, so it's better to teach them how to protect themselves as well.

That's my 2 cents. Take it or leave it.
One More Word

Shreveport, LA

#5 Nov 18, 2012
-Spartan- wrote:
For a non-religious perspective...
Talk to them. And I don't mean lecture, I mean talk. Listen to what they have to say. If your child knows you will listen to them then they won't be so uncomfortable talking to you.
Don't invalidate them. Kids have thoughts and feelings too and they're not as stupid as adults may think. If your child thinks their feelings don't matter to you, they will me more hesitant to talk to you about anything.
Be firm, be consistent. You are a parent. Your role as a parent will entail discipline. Transgression must always be met with consequences. So in whatever consequences you render, be consistent. If kiddo does x-offense, then x-punishment happens. Consistently. Every time. Give no slack. Always hold them accountable and most importantly, EXPLAIN why this is happening. Yes, every time.
There are some who might say "I don't have to explain myself to a child!" And to that I say yes yes you do. Because if kids know why this is happening, that it's a consequence of their actions and not just vengeful parenting, then they're more likely to understand and abstain next time. Plus, it teaches them personal responsibility.
Talk to your teens about sex. And I mean actually talk. Don't avoid the subject. Their teens and hormones are raging and there's new feelings they've never felt before. Don't try to scare them with sin and the bible and abstinence only. That method does not work. Teens are not concerned about the hereafter and neither are plenty of adults. They'll be more concerned about tactile consequences in the here and now.
They need to be taught about sexually transmitted disease, pregnancy and how life changing it is and how to protect themselves from it. That means you're going to have to teach them about condoms and how they are used. Abstinence is good and 100% effective, but teens cannot be monitored 100% of the time, so it's better to teach them how to protect themselves as well.
That's my 2 cents. Take it or leave it.
Thanks for the input. I find it helpful and a good insighte to the inside of a kids head. God what is really in there? I know from experience that just teaching is not enough, and I hear you on the listening part, the hard part. Thanks again.
One More Word

Shreveport, LA

#6 Nov 18, 2012
TeenWoes wrote:
<quoted text>
This is a great site that is approved by professionals in child development. You can pretty much search whatever you have any questions with there , and I think they even have people online that can chat with you about specific questions like you mentioned above. Good luck and hope it was helpful!
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/parenting-ti...
Thanks, I will check it out for sure.
One More Word

Shreveport, LA

#7 Nov 18, 2012
worthy thread wrote:
It is refreshing to see a worthy thread begun here and someone with serious concerns for our future leaders. Thank you parent(s) for being concerned with your children's raising. The time to guide your children's path is from birth, then teen years are much easier. Although a teen might go astray, if values are taught early in life they will come back to their teachings. "Train up a child in the way he should go , and when he is OLD, he will not depart from it."
Expect of your teen( and every child) to work within the family unit having responsibilities, each day for the welfare of the family unit. They should be expected to help prepare meals, keep the home clean, clothes laundered, dishes washed, trash emptied, pets tended to, in addition to their personal studies. Have family Bible reading, and sit down to meals together. Ask them to help prepare menus and help shop for groceries.
Ask them to help prepare the household budget and keep track of it..great training for them.
You will know when they are responsible enough to date, and it may be different for their friends. You should have a curfew. When they come in from a date, visit with them about the date. Always be waiting for them to get home and talk together in a genuinely caring way, not prying or intrusive.
Even though we do give her jobs she does them when she wants to. She gets grounded if she does not do them or her phone taken away. But before you know it she does it again. Or she will simply say so what I don't care. I feel like beating her butt with the broom sometimes but it is against the law...
Mother

United States

#8 Nov 18, 2012
-Spartan- wrote:
For a non-religious perspective...
Talk to them. And I don't mean lecture, I mean talk. Listen to what they have to say. If your child knows you will listen to them then they won't be so uncomfortable talking to you.
Don't invalidate them. Kids have thoughts and feelings too and they're not as stupid as adults may think. If your child thinks their feelings don't matter to you, they will me more hesitant to talk to you about anything.
Be firm, be consistent. You are a parent. Your role as a parent will entail discipline. Transgression must always be met with consequences. So in whatever consequences you render, be consistent. If kiddo does x-offense, then x-punishment happens. Consistently. Every time. Give no slack. Always hold them accountable and most importantly, EXPLAIN why this is happening. Yes, every time.
There are some who might say "I don't have to explain myself to a child!" And to that I say yes yes you do. Because if kids know why this is happening, that it's a consequence of their actions and not just vengeful parenting, then they're more likely to understand and abstain next time. Plus, it teaches them personal responsibility.
Talk to your teens about sex. And I mean actually talk. Don't avoid the subject. Their teens and hormones are raging and there's new feelings they've never felt before. Don't try to scare them with sin and the bible and abstinence only. That method does not work. Teens are not concerned about the hereafter and neither are plenty of adults. They'll be more concerned about tactile consequences in the here and now.
They need to be taught about sexually transmitted disease, pregnancy and how life changing it is and how to protect themselves from it. That means you're going to have to teach them about condoms and how they are used. Abstinence is good and 100% effective, but teens cannot be monitored 100% of the time, so it's better to teach them how to protect themselves as well.
That's my 2 cents. Take it or leave it.
May I inquire as to how many children you have?
wrong

United States

#9 Nov 18, 2012
Who ever said it was illegal to spank your children is a very missinformed person. I think that has alot to do with what is wrong with kids today. Thwy dont get spanked. Us older folks, mid 20's and up got our butts tore up when we did wrong and I honestly think it was for the best!
Spare the rod, spoil the child.
TeenWoes

Winnfield, LA

#10 Nov 18, 2012
One More Word wrote:
<quoted text>Thanks, I will check it out for sure.
You're most welcome! Seems the folks on here had some great suggestions, I'm new at the parenting thing myself, so I read all the materials I can get my hands on lol! Thanks for starting this thread, it gave me some insight as well! Thanks all, like one of the above posters said, good to the parents for their experience and concern!

“Escaped to The North”

Level 2

Since: Feb 08

Location hidden

#11 Nov 19, 2012
Mother wrote:
<quoted text>
May I inquire as to how many children you have?
I don't have any. My experience was gained working with teens at the methodist children's home in Ruston. I also worked at an alternative school for kids with behavioral issues.
One More Word

Shreveport, LA

#12 Nov 19, 2012
Mother wrote:
<quoted text>
May I inquire as to how many children you have?
Just one at home now. The others are grown, all of them were boys. One at home is a girl. I feel clueless when it comes to girls. They are totally different.
worthy thread

Powhatan, LA

#13 Nov 19, 2012
One More Word wrote:
<quoted text>Even though we do give her jobs she does them when she wants to. She gets grounded if she does not do them or her phone taken away. But before you know it she does it again. Or she will simply say so what I don't care. I feel like beating her butt with the broom sometimes but it is against the law...
I don't know how old your daughter is, but if she is a teenager, it's a little late to begin corporal punishment. It should have been started the first time they were old enough to understand they had to obey you and they didn't. You are the parent. OK, so she says she don't care. If this was my child, before the next confrontation took place and everyone is calm, I'd tell we as a family were all to work together for the good of our whole family. We all have a part. Tell her her job is to do the dishes after breakfast or dinner or whenever you are all together. If she declines to do that take her cell phone; leave her plate, utensils, glass, etc. dirty and you do the other dishes. The next meal, set her dirty dishes for her to use. Don't allow her to use any other. She can wash them or do without dishes. Never wash her dishes again and never let her have use of any other dishes. Keep her cell phone. Tell her again it is her job to wash the family dishes. If she refuses take her computer, car, money or whatever you have allowed her to have. With each request of yours she refuses to do, take another privilege away. Make some soup. It's awfully hard to eat soup our of your hands and a dirty spoon might not be appetizing to use. HA.
There is always the possibility she will run away rather than obey. That's her choice. If she gives warning she is going to leave , tell her when she is willing to do her part , she is welcome back, but not until! And be firm. Go on with your life, you have done the best you can. She will likely realize how nice home really is.

“Good News Travels Fast”

Since: Jan 11

Parts Unknown

#14 Nov 19, 2012
Keep them dating in their own age group, if they date. Otherwise the door for abuse is wide open.

What does a grown man or woman want with a teen aged child, and why aren't they dating other adults?

It seems many parents think it's just fine to let their children "date" adults, go figure.
One More Word

Shreveport, LA

#15 Nov 19, 2012
worthy thread wrote:
<quoted text>
I don't know how old your daughter is, but if she is a teenager, it's a little late to begin corporal punishment. It should have been started the first time they were old enough to understand they had to obey you and they didn't. You are the parent. OK, so she says she don't care. If this was my child, before the next confrontation took place and everyone is calm, I'd tell we as a family were all to work together for the good of our whole family. We all have a part. Tell her her job is to do the dishes after breakfast or dinner or whenever you are all together. If she declines to do that take her cell phone; leave her plate, utensils, glass, etc. dirty and you do the other dishes. The next meal, set her dirty dishes for her to use. Don't allow her to use any other. She can wash them or do without dishes. Never wash her dishes again and never let her have use of any other dishes. Keep her cell phone. Tell her again it is her job to wash the family dishes. If she refuses take her computer, car, money or whatever you have allowed her to have. With each request of yours she refuses to do, take another privilege away. Make some soup. It's awfully hard to eat soup our of your hands and a dirty spoon might not be appetizing to use. HA.
There is always the possibility she will run away rather than obey. That's her choice. If she gives warning she is going to leave , tell her when she is willing to do her part , she is welcome back, but not until! And be firm. Go on with your life, you have done the best you can. She will likely realize how nice home really is.
I love these ideas, thank you.
One More Word

Shreveport, LA

#16 Nov 19, 2012
From what she tells me some of her friends can have their boy friends sleep over under the parents roof. They are all under 15. She knows asking that she would have a trip to the dentist afterward. I am just shaking my head and wondering what these people are thinking.
smar tass

Pineville, LA

#17 Nov 20, 2012
My thoughts on this subject.
give your children respect. let them know what the rules are and what will happen if rules are broken. your child is not your "friend" you are not "just hanging out" like teens do. listen to what they have to say. but in the end as a parent you are the one who is raising this child and making sure they become a productive member of society.

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