27 y.o. man propositioned by 40 y.o. ...

27 y.o. man propositioned by 40 y.o. woman

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Confused

Providence, KY

#1 Jan 28, 2013
I am a 27 year old man. There is this lady I know. She is 40. She has been divorced for several years and doesn’t have any children. Couple of weeks ago I got a letter from her. It said she was lonely and if I wanted to have a relationship with her she was willing. She said that she wouldn’t make any claims on me. That she didn’t care if I wanted a girlfriend my own age, which I don’t have. To prove that it wasn’t a hoax she put a photocopy of her drivers license in with the letter. She also put a key to her door in it. Yesterday morning while she was at church I went by her house and tried the key. It worked. So I’m sure its not a hoax. She’s for real. I see her just about every day and she has not said anything to me about it. She acts nervous. I don’t know what to do. She is really a nice person and good looking. She could have any man her own age that she wanted. I don’t want to just let it drop because I’m afraid she might do the same thing with somebody else that will hurt her. I am posting this far from home so that she won’t find out. If there is any man out there that has ever had this happen you advice will be appreciated.
Why

Frankfort, KY

#2 Jan 28, 2013
My dear let me explain this to you. You sound very nice. After a certain age and 40-45 is about it women have a very difficult time finding anyone. They can have many for sex but few worth having to build a relationship. Men their age want younger and what they perceive to be exciting. So she is pursuing you because she is lonely and sees little hope of finding what she truly wants. She is settling for you if she can get you.
Gramps

Paducah, KY

#3 Jan 28, 2013
Sounds to me like this lady is paying you just about the highest compliment that a woman can pay a man. She's 40, she's lonely, and she's a woman. She wants and needs a man. By the time they're that age good men that aren't already taken are few and far between. She picked you. That means that she likes you and trusts you. She is also adult enough to know that it would not be fair to ask you to make a permanent committment. Her approach seems a little unusual, especially the key, but it probably means that she's embarassed to do it any other way. That she's religious might have someting to do with it too. Go see her, talk to her, treat her like a virgin, and then love her like the devil.
not so fast

Henderson, KY

#4 Jan 28, 2013
Gramps wrote:
Sounds to me like this lady is paying you just about the highest compliment that a woman can pay a man. She's 40, she's lonely, and she's a woman. She wants and needs a man. By the time they're that age good men that aren't already taken are few and far between. She picked you. That means that she likes you and trusts you. She is also adult enough to know that it would not be fair to ask you to make a permanent committment. Her approach seems a little unusual, especially the key, but it probably means that she's embarassed to do it any other way. That she's religious might have someting to do with it too. Go see her, talk to her, treat her like a virgin, and then love her like the devil.
She's set and wants to play with fresh young stuff. SIMPLE. Grandpa, you're so melodramatic! I know you wish you had received the letter. Forty-year-old women are not lonely, or desperate. STOP FANTASIZING
Gramps

Paducah, KY

#5 Jan 28, 2013
not so fast wrote:
<quoted text>
She's set and wants to play with fresh young stuff. SIMPLE. Grandpa, you're so melodramatic! I know you wish you had received the letter. Forty-year-old women are not lonely, or desperate. STOP FANTASIZING
The young fellow asked for replies from men who had had similar experiences. I did. It was 30 years ago and maybe women are different today but I don't think so. The older woman that slipped me a note like a shy schoolgirl wasn't "set and want to play with fresh young stuff." She was just lonely and wanted affection and yes sex.

I will give the young man a warning. Make sure she really did send the letter. It could be comebody pulling a really bad hoax on both of you. Go see her and talk to her. Do it right away. Don't wait.
older woman

Frankfort, KY

#6 Jan 28, 2013
Gramps wrote:
Sounds to me like this lady is paying you just about the highest compliment that a woman can pay a man. She's 40, she's lonely, and she's a woman. She wants and needs a man. By the time they're that age good men that aren't already taken are few and far between. She picked you. That means that she likes you and trusts you. She is also adult enough to know that it would not be fair to ask you to make a permanent committment. Her approach seems a little unusual, especially the key, but it probably means that she's embarassed to do it any other way. That she's religious might have someting to do with it too. Go see her, talk to her, treat her like a virgin, and then love her like the devil.
Great response and every word the truth. Good job!
not so fast

Henderson, KY

#7 Jan 28, 2013
Gramps wrote:
<quoted text>
The young fellow asked for replies from men who had had similar experiences. I did. It was 30 years ago and maybe women are different today but I don't think so. The older woman that slipped me a note like a shy schoolgirl wasn't "set and want to play with fresh young stuff." She was just lonely and wanted affection and yes sex.
I will give the young man a warning. Make sure she really did send the letter. It could be comebody pulling a really bad hoax on both of you. Go see her and talk to her. Do it right away. Don't wait.
Good advice, anyway.
NoRegrets

Paducah, KY

#8 Jan 28, 2013
Confused wrote:
I am a 27 year old man. There is this lady I know. She is 40. She has been divorced for several years and doesn’t have any children. Couple of weeks ago I got a letter from her. It said she was lonely and if I wanted to have a relationship with her she was willing. She said that she wouldn’t make any claims on me. That she didn’t care if I wanted a girlfriend my own age, which I don’t have. To prove that it wasn’t a hoax she put a photocopy of her drivers license in with the letter. She also put a key to her door in it. Yesterday morning while she was at church I went by her house and tried the key. It worked. So I’m sure its not a hoax. She’s for real. I see her just about every day and she has not said anything to me about it. She acts nervous. I don’t know what to do. She is really a nice person and good looking. She could have any man her own age that she wanted. I don’t want to just let it drop because I’m afraid she might do the same thing with somebody else that will hurt her. I am posting this far from home so that she won’t find out. If there is any man out there that has ever had this happen you advice will be appreciated.
I can tell you from experience that writing that letter was the emotionally most difficult thing the she probably ever did. You give the impression that she is someone that you hold in high esteem. Maybe she was your teacher in high school, or something like that. She acts nervous around you now because she is scared that she may have done something that will make you think badly of her. She's probably scared of what it would do to her reputation if it were to get out.

Sure she wants sex, but it is not all or even the main thing that she wants. She could go to any bar and find a man for sex if that was all she wanted. She is not looking for a randy young gigolo either. She does not want something cheap and crude and vulgar. She wants a man that she can share the most intimate, personal thing that a woman can do with.
LLS

Henderson, KY

#9 Jan 28, 2013
NoRegrets wrote:
<quoted text>
I can tell you from experience that writing that letter was the emotionally most difficult thing the she probably ever did. You give the impression that she is someone that you hold in high esteem. Maybe she was your teacher in high school, or something like that. She acts nervous around you now because she is scared that she may have done something that will make you think badly of her. She's probably scared of what it would do to her reputation if it were to get out.
Sure she wants sex, but it is not all or even the main thing that she wants. She could go to any bar and find a man for sex if that was all she wanted. She is not looking for a randy young gigolo either. She does not want something cheap and crude and vulgar. She wants a man that she can share the most intimate, personal thing that a woman can do with.
I think you're right.
BluegrassSnowBel le

Hopkinsville, KY

#10 Jan 28, 2013
NoRegrets wrote:
<quoted text>
I can tell you from experience that writing that letter was the emotionally most difficult thing the she probably ever did. You give the impression that she is someone that you hold in high esteem. Maybe she was your teacher in high school, or something like that. She acts nervous around you now because she is scared that she may have done something that will make you think badly of her. She's probably scared of what it would do to her reputation if it were to get out.
Sure she wants sex, but it is not all or even the main thing that she wants. She could go to any bar and find a man for sex if that was all she wanted. She is not looking for a randy young gigolo either. She does not want something cheap and crude and vulgar. She wants a man that she can share the most intimate, personal thing that a woman can do with.
I agree. Good advice.
over 40

Martin, KY

#11 Jan 28, 2013
I am a woman over 40. I have always been attracted to younger men. I think for me, I get to feel as if I may be able to rewind things for myself a bit. I have had boyfriends my age and older but was not as amused as with a younger man. I think I like the element of teaching what I know. I like the thought of the exploration a younger man will endure. I have met many younger men that seem to be intrigued by an older woman. Seems some look for similar qualities to qualities their mom may have. I see nothing wrong with that. If they are close to their mother and admire her, it seems only natural they would seek that. I have been married to a much younger man for many years now. We are in love. I cannot imagine life without him. He is a beautiful younger man. Follow your heart.
dang

Manchester, KY

#12 Jan 28, 2013
Confused wrote:
I am a 27 year old man. There is this lady I know. She is 40. She has been divorced for several years and doesn’t have any children. Couple of weeks ago I got a letter from her. It said she was lonely and if I wanted to have a relationship with her she was willing. She said that she wouldn’t make any claims on me. That she didn’t care if I wanted a girlfriend my own age, which I don’t have. To prove that it wasn’t a hoax she put a photocopy of her drivers license in with the letter. She also put a key to her door in it. Yesterday morning while she was at church I went by her house and tried the key. It worked. So I’m sure its not a hoax. She’s for real. I see her just about every day and she has not said anything to me about it. She acts nervous. I don’t know what to do. She is really a nice person and good looking. She could have any man her own age that she wanted. I don’t want to just let it drop because I’m afraid she might do the same thing with somebody else that will hurt her. I am posting this far from home so that she won’t find out. If there is any man out there that has ever had this happen you advice will be appreciated.
give her some dick quick!!!
Snake Handler

Paducah, KY

#13 Jan 29, 2013
Stay as far from that woman as you possibly can. She's got snakes in her head. You get tangled up with a woman crazy like that and no telling what kind of trouble you'll be in for.
Grownup

Paducah, KY

#15 Jan 29, 2013
dang wrote:
<quoted text>give her some dick quick!!!
Bad advice.

You're either 16 years old or one of those guys that never developed beyond that stage.

But thanks for your input. People can take a look at your mentality and understanding why the lady chose the guy that she did.
Just in case

Richmond, KY

#17 Jan 29, 2013
Better be on the safe side and talk to the lady before using the key and just popping in on her. Like was said earlier, it may be a bad joke being played and you could end up with a chest full of hollow points.
Grownup

Paducah, KY

#18 Jan 29, 2013
Just in case wrote:
Better be on the safe side and talk to the lady before using the key and just popping in on her. Like was said earlier, it may be a bad joke being played and you could end up with a chest full of hollow points.
If it was just that simple.

This thing is one of the most complicated moral / ethical dilemmas that I have ever seen. It would take a philosophy professor to invent a scenario this complicated.

At one level, it would be easy to say for him to just destroy the letter, toss the key in the river, and forget that it ever happened. He can't do that, however, because of the possibility that it is a malicious hoax. He has to tell her about it. That opens up the human emotional aspects of how to deal with the situation. Chances are if he talks to her about it the conversation will conclude in her bedroom. That brings in the emotional entanglements and multiple risks of such a relationship, not the least of which is that he might get her pregnant. If it does not lead to the bedroom, he has to consider the distinct possbility that she will do the same thing again with someone else and get hurt. Does he have any moral responsibility in that regard?

not really

Henderson, KY

#19 Jan 29, 2013
Grownup wrote:
<quoted text>
If it was just that simple.
This thing is one of the most complicated moral / ethical dilemmas that I have ever seen. It would take a philosophy professor to invent a scenario this complicated.
At one level, it would be easy to say for him to just destroy the letter, toss the key in the river, and forget that it ever happened. He can't do that, however, because of the possibility that it is a malicious hoax. He has to tell her about it. That opens up the human emotional aspects of how to deal with the situation. Chances are if he talks to her about it the conversation will conclude in her bedroom. That brings in the emotional entanglements and multiple risks of such a relationship, not the least of which is that he might get her pregnant. If it does not lead to the bedroom, he has to consider the distinct possbility that she will do the same thing again with someone else and get hurt. Does he have any moral responsibility in that regard?
Stupid sums it up easily. All of you are idiots.
Look

Henderson, KY

#20 Jan 30, 2013
You don't mess a person who just hands out house keys.

Run, run, run. Women are crazy kid, and they only get worse with age.

You need to find a nice young thang that hands out BJ's, not house keys.
BluegrassSnowBel le

Paducah, KY

#22 Jan 30, 2013
Look wrote:
You don't mess a person who just hands out house keys.
Run, run, run. Women are crazy kid, and they only get worse with age.
You need to find a nice young thang that hands out BJ's, not house keys.
Just suppose she did not send him the note and key. Suppose some evil person out to get her or him that just has a malicious mind did it.
Confused no more

Kuttawa, KY

#23 Jan 30, 2013
Thank you, ladies (and possibly one gentleman).

The matter has been resolved.

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