the burg topix gossip
cant trust anyone

Lawrenceburg, KY

#21 Jun 22, 2013
unwanted opinion wrote:
<quoted text> After reading all of this ,i'm very confused. You say you love this person in your life but yet you say it might be a good idea to meet a poster on here for coffee. I have to wonder if maybe you are the one with a problem and maybe this does not help your situation. maybe whoever it is that you say has a problem has good reason. you know what they say,it takes two to make it and 2 to break it and i am a firm believer that when there is problems, it's always that one person who blames it all on the other and can never accept any of it as being their fault. do a little inventory on your own faults and see if maybe you are a big part of the problem. I know I went thru some things and blamed a lot on my partner and when it was pointed out to me in theraphy,i saw I was really at fault as much as they were.if you love this person,as you say, you have to see your own bad to and we all have our own bad.no one is always the complete innocent one and the other all the bad.believe me, I paid enough money in theraphy to find this out. that might be a good thing for you and your friend (theraphy) it really worked for me and my family.hey,what could it hurt?
I can see where that may have a bit of confusion with it. The person I said I loved hasn't had anything to do with me for a year now. I have many times in that year tried to get her attention and let her see that I am still here for her and willing to move forward with our lives together. There hasn't been any luck with her wanting the same. Yes, I did mention having coffee with someone on here, that doesn't mean any thing more than coffee. Can't two people have coffee and talk about situations and things they may have in common without it being looked at as anything but just that? In a way you kind of sound as if I am not allowed to speak to anyone without there being more to it than talking. I have asked her to go to therapy with me many times. Again she refused. I do want what is best for our child and I am a strong believer that parents should raise their child together. With that being said, I also feel that the child has a right to live in a good environment without any issues between the parents. I am sure you agree. To address you on what you say I may be blaming things all on the other. I have and will always take the blame for my part. I will say this, if in your therapy you learned that someone is at fault for actions of other, I believe you may have waisted your money. I will not accept the actions others do. Just as I wouldn't expect others to be at fault if I decide to sit and drink myself stupid. My actions are my actions, isn't anyone at fault for those actions but me. I do need to ask you, what good reason is there for someone to drink everyday till they are falling in the floor while their kid is there. What good reason does anyone have to steal from the person who is supporting them? By no means do I think I am perfect but it sounds as if you think you know my situation. Im sure you do not. I do understand that you have had therapy but that doesn't mean you have utilized it in the correct way. What good is family therapy if only one really wants to be there? I feel that with you wanting to direct the problem as being me, and not knowing the situation or me kinda sounds as if you still have some unresolved issues yourself. I would suggest that before you tell everyone on here how much therapy you have had at least get most the facts as if you were a therapist before you begin to point the finger about things you have no clue about. Thank you for your response even though I do not fully agree with most of it.
agree

Lawrenceburg, KY

#22 Jun 22, 2013
cant trust anyone wrote:
<quoted text>
I can see where that may have a bit of confusion with it. The person I said I loved hasn't had anything to do with me for a year now. I have many times in that year tried to get her attention and let her see that I am still here for her and willing to move forward with our lives together. There hasn't been any luck with her wanting the same. Yes, I did mention having coffee with someone on here, that doesn't mean any thing more than coffee. Can't two people have coffee and talk about situations and things they may have in common without it being looked at as anything but just that? In a way you kind of sound as if I am not allowed to speak to anyone without there being more to it than talking. I have asked her to go to therapy with me many times. Again she refused. I do want what is best for our child and I am a strong believer that parents should raise their child together. With that being said, I also feel that the child has a right to live in a good environment without any issues between the parents. I am sure you agree. To address you on what you say I may be blaming things all on the other. I have and will always take the blame for my part. I will say this, if in your therapy you learned that someone is at fault for actions of other, I believe you may have waisted your money. I will not accept the actions others do. Just as I wouldn't expect others to be at fault if I decide to sit and drink myself stupid. My actions are my actions, isn't anyone at fault for those actions but me. I do need to ask you, what good reason is there for someone to drink everyday till they are falling in the floor while their kid is there. What good reason does anyone have to steal from the person who is supporting them? By no means do I think I am perfect but it sounds as if you think you know my situation. Im sure you do not. I do understand that you have had therapy but that doesn't mean you have utilized it in the correct way. What good is family therapy if only one really wants to be there? I feel that with you wanting to direct the problem as being me, and not knowing the situation or me kinda sounds as if you still have some unresolved issues yourself. I would suggest that before you tell everyone on here how much therapy you have had at least get most the facts as if you were a therapist before you begin to point the finger about things you have no clue about. Thank you for your response even though I do not fully agree with most of it.
I hope after a year that you would try to move on with your life. You need to be happy and also need to be stable, because if your childs mother continues down her path of self destruction your child will need you more than ever! Life is to short to be unhappy!
cant trust anyone

Lawrenceburg, KY

#23 Jun 22, 2013
agree wrote:
<quoted text>
I hope after a year that you would try to move on with your life. You need to be happy and also need to be stable, because if your childs mother continues down her path of self destruction your child will need you more than ever! Life is to short to be unhappy!
Yes, I had asked one last time about a week ago. Was the same answer and excuse. I agree that I need to move on and that is what I plan on doing. I think I was doing the right thing by waiting for things to, hmmm, sober up, before just up and walking out. Everything was my fault then, and apparently still is. I can't say i will ever not love in her a sense that we have a child together, but I cannot continue to keep being a game. I agree with you that my child will need me if it continues. I hope that I can only find the right words when she grows older and begins asking questions. I thank you for your response and taking the time to see that I am seeking ideas and suggestions as to what others have done, how to carry on and of course no that i am not alone in going through stuff. I didnt and I hope I didnt come off to strong responding to the other post but I felt as if they were acting like they knew every detail. If I had made anyone mad it wasn't my intentions.
do you

Lawrenceburg, KY

#24 Jun 23, 2013
Not trying to be mean but do you always go on and on (rambling) like this? You have the longest comments ever! I read all of this and it seems the one poster was just trying to get you to understand that this person needs help and wanting to know if you were doing anything to try to help them. It seems you really care about her but at the same time, you are really degrading her instead of helping her. I just didn't see anywhere you said you were trying to help her. I don't know you or her but just reading what you have said and the way you said it. Man if you love her ,then try to help her! I love my wife so much I would do anything for her. She went through some things and we had a hard time, but with my love and support, she is fine now. I never looked down on her, I praised her for every good step. Our past is behind us now and our future is great. Ask yourself, do you love her enough to ride it out. If not, then let it go.
Cat

Lawrenceburg, KY

#25 Jun 23, 2013
In my opinion the poster didn't ramble. Very
Intelligent conversation and reasoning skills. Not good coping, poor thing. Move on, alcoholics first
Have to admit they have a problem before helping themselves or changing for anyone. Good luck to you.......(for any commenters; my grammar
And punctuation suck and I'm old enough not to care). Good day :)
oh my

Lawrenceburg, KY

#26 Jun 23, 2013
OMG, I think I know who this is and if it is who I think, WOW, people just remember that there are two sides to every story and the other side of this may not be as it's made out to be. It comes from a very convincing person that is very lieing and conniving! Geezzzzzzzzz cannot believe this is on topix!
cant trust anyone

Lawrenceburg, KY

#27 Jun 23, 2013
oh my wrote:
OMG, I think I know who this is and if it is who I think, WOW, people just remember that there are two sides to every story and the other side of this may not be as it's made out to be. It comes from a very convincing person that is very lieing and conniving! Geezzzzzzzzz cannot believe this is on topix!
First off I am not a lier. There hasn't been anything for me to have to lie about. Second, if you did know me and or was there everyday in the situation I am sure that you would know that the side you have heard were mostly lies. Isn't this a place to talk? I'm I using anyones names? Have I been bashing anyone other than saying they drank the relationship apart? Of course a few other things too. If you had read every post you would see that I have admitted what I was doing wrong. Many times. IF you do think you know who is posting this believe me I know you have only heard one side to the story. I do find it funny that you say that, without really knowing me and or have asked to hear my side of things. Yes I have posted some things on here, but it is not even close to everything. Did I run my mouth when a few times? yeap, sure did. I am human. When someone does you wrong I am sure at the very least you let them know how you feel about it. You also want to say I am convincing. What exactly am I trying to convince others to see? I admitted that I am not perfect and that I wasn't putting full blame on her. I think the problem may be, if you are who I think you are, that this person I am speaking of is part of your family. If that is the case how would you ever be able to have an unbiased opinion about a relationship you weren't in? IF this is who I think it may be when have you ever talked to me about mine and hers relationship? I can say never. So yes, your statement is correct. There are two sides to every story. So how come you haven't come to me and asked my side? Maybe because you WANT to only see ONE side because you don't want to see your family member as being that way? It boils down to this, This post started out as me writing something of how I see most peoples post here on topix. It grew into more of my personal life. It didn't begin as me making this out about me or this situation that is being discussed.
cant trust anyone

Lawrenceburg, KY

#28 Jun 23, 2013
do you wrote:
Not trying to be mean but do you always go on and on (rambling) like this? You have the longest comments ever! I read all of this and it seems the one poster was just trying to get you to understand that this person needs help and wanting to know if you were doing anything to try to help them. It seems you really care about her but at the same time, you are really degrading her instead of helping her. I just didn't see anywhere you said you were trying to help her. I don't know you or her but just reading what you have said and the way you said it. Man if you love her ,then try to help her! I love my wife so much I would do anything for her. She went through some things and we had a hard time, but with my love and support, she is fine now. I never looked down on her, I praised her for every good step. Our past is behind us now and our future is great. Ask yourself, do you love her enough to ride it out. If not, then let it go.
How does someone help another who doen't think they have an issue? I am not a qualified rehab psych. I am not trying to mean either but you say mention "with my love and support, she is fine now", did she get any credit for making it through your rough times? Or was it just because your love and support? I did everything I knew how or what to do to help her. Hope this is short enough response. If it doesn't seem to cover much facts or details it because i am trying not to ramble.
man

Lawrenceburg, KY

#29 Jun 23, 2013
Man, Don't you know that this is the worse thing that you could do? Topix? Discuss your personal life on a site like this? I don't know either one of you but I assure you that it's the last place in the world I would air my dirty laundry and what if she reads this. Is that going to help your situation? Best of luck but I am just saying I would never do this to my wife!
cant trust anyone

Lawrenceburg, KY

#30 Jun 23, 2013
man wrote:
Man, Don't you know that this is the worse thing that you could do? Topix? Discuss your personal life on a site like this? I don't know either one of you but I assure you that it's the last place in the world I would air my dirty laundry and what if she reads this. Is that going to help your situation? Best of luck but I am just saying I would never do this to my wife!
First there isn't any names mentioned. Second there are hundreds of relationships that are exactly like what I am describing. So take a pick on who it may or may not be. As far as you saying you not saying anything on topix about anything that may happen between you and your wife, what do you want? I am sure there has been at least one time you have shared your business with someone Im sure she didnt want you to. You say "I would never do this to my wife," what exactly am I doing? You say "air my dirty laundry". Looks like an anonymous post to me. Any names mentioned? If me saying she drank the relationship apart is really airing dirty laundry, then like I said look and around and take your pick as to who it may be. There are many more details of things that has happened that I could have mentioned but did not. Worst thing? Doubt that man.
man

Lawrenceburg, KY

#31 Jun 23, 2013
You are like the freaking energizer bunny, just keep going and going. lol I just bet that's one of the things she hated about you. I bet you have to have the last word and always be right about everything! You know, just my opinion, after reading all of this drama. Anyway just wanted to say that and since I'm not a man that likes confrontation or drama, this is my last comment. So hang in there. I'm sure you will have a lot of other comments to come back with.lol
agree

Lawrenceburg, KY

#32 Jun 23, 2013
oh my wrote:
OMG, I think I know who this is and if it is who I think, WOW, people just remember that there are two sides to every story and the other side of this may not be as it's made out to be. It comes from a very convincing person that is very lieing and conniving! Geezzzzzzzzz cannot believe this is on topix!
I don't know how you can say you might think you know who has posted this thread. There are many people that have or have had the very same type situation! I know several young adults in this very same situation. So as far as I am concerned it could anyone posting. I grew up in a home with an alcoholic, grant you it's a terrible way to live, at the time when I was a child there was no help for women and their children, so my mother lived with it so she didn't have to give up her children, she didn't even drive until she was in her mid 50's by that time, us children were already driving. As soon as we were old enough my mother kicked my father to the curb, guess what? He finally opened his eyes and he got his act together. However, it was a little late to recover all the things he missed and to ever have a relationship with his children that he should of had, simply because his booze bottle was more important. I forgave him, but I will never forget!! Then as I grew older and my siblings had kids which one of them became an alcoholic, he is now in his mid 30's and has 2 kids himself. Everyone has done everything possible to help him, he still chooses his booze. The mother of his children has moved on with her life and now has a very happy home with a respectful mate and more of a father to her children than their father could ever be! There comes a time that you finally reach the point of no return. It's just a matter of time when the phone rings and we get the news that we most fear, but it simply is out of anyones control. He has been in rehab, he has been in jail, he has been kept from seeing his children (because of his drunkness) and the list goes on, however still no change! As I said before you can not help someone until they want to change or help themselves. I guess at some point there are only two outcomes, you either sink or swim! I find your post uncaring and rude. Yes there are two sides to every story, but everyone needs someone to talk to at some point! Venting sometimes gives you a tad bit of relief! Good Day
geeze

Lawrenceburg, KY

#33 Jun 23, 2013
man wrote:
Man, Don't you know that this is the worse thing that you could do? Topix? Discuss your personal life on a site like this? I don't know either one of you but I assure you that it's the last place in the world I would air my dirty laundry and what if she reads this. Is that going to help your situation? Best of luck but I am just saying I would never do this to my wife!
I don't see any names mentioned on this post, this thread could describes thousands of households especially in this day and time!
wow

Lawrenceburg, KY

#34 Jun 23, 2013
WOW people if you don't like the post then simply don't click the mouse! Go to another thread! IT"S REALLY THAT SIMPLE! Good Greif!
cant trust anyone

Lawrenceburg, KY

#35 Jun 23, 2013
man wrote:
You are like the freaking energizer bunny, just keep going and going. lol I just bet that's one of the things she hated about you. I bet you have to have the last word and always be right about everything! You know, just my opinion, after reading all of this drama. Anyway just wanted to say that and since I'm not a man that likes confrontation or drama, this is my last comment. So hang in there. I'm sure you will have a lot of other comments to come back with.lol
Thanks "man". You have proved my point from my very first post. Give a little of your life, without names, and you seem to want to use that against me. No one said I enjoyed drama or confrontation, I didnt ask to be put in the situation I was put in when all that was going on. Come on man, really? It isnt't about having the last word, its about communicating until there is a ending solution. In all hopes the the ending solution is whats best for all involved. I don't understand why it seems that you are taking this all personally.
cant trust anyone

Lawrenceburg, KY

#36 Jun 23, 2013
I appreciate all the incoming comments that were more positive about letting me realize that sometimes a person just has to move on. Im sure thats probably what is best. I didnt mean to get into my own personal life, my first post was me really saying, "hey, watch who ya trust, could end up here on topix'. Yes i did mention a very few things in my life, but I did not mention names and I feel that I was fairly nice about it. So that I won't have to listen to more of someone seeming to be a bully, I think its best to leave this post be as it is. Again, thanks to those of you who were trying to let me see i am not alone. That moving on is probably best for her and me and most importantly our child who deserves to have both parents full attention rather than us failing again causing tension on our child. Thanks.
yes

Lawrenceburg, KY

#38 Jun 24, 2013
Lucy, I agree with you! God always knows all! He knows every intent, our every thought and he will come back someday to end all the evil and take His good people away from it! I'm not perfect,but I will live my life for Him as much as I can and I hope it is enough because I don't want to burn in the lake of fire in which there is no escaping!
lane famlily ver

United States

#39 Jun 28, 2013
old wanda stole our inheritance and cheated every one of us sisters and one bother out of the money that our daddy left all of us and than put on topix she needs donateion for them
did you

Lawrenceburg, KY

#40 Jul 1, 2013
cant trust anyone wrote:
Give me your trust, I promise I won't say anything. Tell me your secrets, I won't post it in topix. Show me how you hurt, I swear I won't use it against you. Come on, can't you trust me? Can't you, won't you? I might be your boss, might be part of your family, for all ya know you may confess your sins to me. I promise I won't say a thing here in topix. Tell me everything! Tell me it all so I can stab you in the back and tell the town of how I see you. Tell me who you lay with other than your spouse. Let me hang with ya so I can tell and distort the facts. Let me take your money at where I work and let me show you my devious smile, you can trust I won't say anything about you trading your food stamps for other things or money. Trust me, I wont say anything. I am your family, best friend, neighbor, kids teacher, husband, wife. I get mad at you I promise I won't say anything here in topix. Trust me won't you? I won't get mad and tell your secrets that we shared. I swear!! Look in my eyes and see my smile, cant you see you can trust me? Don't you want a friend?(evil laugh) braaahaaaarrrrraaaarrrrrrr.... ..(whisper in your ear) trust me, im your best friend.
Did you ever think that maybe some people might see you as being this way? It seems it takes a devious mind to think of all these things! Look over it and read it again and ask yourself, which of these things am I guilty of! Reading on through the other comments,it seems that the woman gets all the blame. Are you sure she did all the bad and if so, have you done anything at all to help her or are you really angry and just out to get her?
hmmm

Lawrenceburg, KY

#41 Jul 2, 2013
did you wrote:
<quoted text> Did you ever think that maybe some people might see you as being this way? It seems it takes a devious mind to think of all these things! Look over it and read it again and ask yourself, which of these things am I guilty of! Reading on through the other comments,it seems that the woman gets all the blame. Are you sure she did all the bad and if so, have you done anything at all to help her or are you really angry and just out to get her?
I think you need to reread through it all. There are times I had said I did my part of wrong. As far as the very first post I think you missed the whole meaning of it. Slow down read it all slowly and try to retain what you have read.

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