Canoe Rental

Mountain Home, AR

#175 Feb 6, 2013
We're ready.
Post Turtle

Mountain Home, AR

#176 Feb 6, 2013
Pastor Fuzz wrote:
Well, I must say, congrats are in order too all of the Downtown Hardy business owners.
You guys kicked some major butt in this thread, and I am very proud of all of you!
Keep up the good work, Hardy's downtown future is looking better and better everyday, thanks too you strong and fearless business people.
Will any of you run for Mayor in the next election? I sure do hope so!
Went out last night and got really wasted. I woke up in the middle of
the night next to some chick who was snoring and farting, so I knew I
made it home OK!

The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie
last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her
part.

I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next shit could
spell disaster.

My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault.
I should have taken them off.

I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or
"foreplay" as she likes to call it.

After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were
going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed
herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, "Fuck it, soldier
on!"

I woke up this morning at 8, and could smell something was wrong. I got
downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not
breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered
McDonald's serves breakfast until 11:30.

Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week. Took her to the fair
last night, and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.

The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told
her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"

My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she
screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!" "Oh," I
replied, "so now you want me to stay!"

A Catholic boy in confession says, "Bless me Father, I have sinned, I
masturbated while thinking about my sister." "That's a disgrace, said
the priest, especially when you have two gorgeous brothers."

I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife look
like she's moving during sex.


Post Turtle

Melbourne, AR

#177 Feb 6, 2013
Damn it Pastor Fuzz! Why don't you pay any attention too me anymore? You got my love muffin all wet and horny and now you disappear? I want you to throw me down on all fours and treat me like the horny beast I am! Pastor Fuzz, you can be "passed my fuzz"!!!
lap top

Violet Hill, AR

#178 Feb 18, 2013
You're all goofy.
Satan finder

Mountain Home, AR

#179 Feb 18, 2013
Pastor Fuzz wrote:
The Devil has truly landed in our neighborhood. I know now, that the Devil can come to us in any shape or form.
He has taken on the shape of Beer, that's right Beer!
He has landed in the Ash Flat WalMart in the form of Beer!
Please, join me and my congregation in a peaceful protest, Saturday February 2, from 12pm to 5pm in front of the Ash Flat WalMart.
We must exorcise this Evil force out of the store! Hallelujah, hallelujah! praise Jesus! praise Jesus!
Satan comes in the form of yankee haters ,Califonia haters all outsider haters not in the form of beer ,it is you all in Ar.ur just evil haters.Beer wont help,may end a few haters.
Satan finder

Mountain Home, AR

#180 Feb 18, 2013
Post Turtle wrote:
Damn it Pastor Fuzz! Why don't you pay any attention too me anymore? You got my love muffin all wet and horny and now you disappear? I want you to throw me down on all fours and treat me like the horny beast I am! Pastor Fuzz, you can be "passed my fuzz"!!!
Heres one ignorant too.
Satan finder

Mountain Home, AR

#181 Feb 18, 2013
Post Turtle wrote:
<quoted text>
Went out last night and got really wasted. I woke up in the middle of
the night next to some chick who was snoring and farting, so I knew I
made it home OK!
The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie
last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her
part.
I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next shit could
spell disaster.
My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault.
I should have taken them off.
I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or
"foreplay" as she likes to call it.
After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were
going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed
herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, "Fuck it, soldier
on!"
I woke up this morning at 8, and could smell something was wrong. I got
downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not
breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered
McDonald's serves breakfast until 11:30.
Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week. Took her to the fair
last night, and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.
The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told
her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"
My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she
screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!" "Oh," I
replied, "so now you want me to stay!"
A Catholic boy in confession says, "Bless me Father, I have sinned, I
masturbated while thinking about my sister." "That's a disgrace, said
the priest, especially when you have two gorgeous brothers."
I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife look
like she's moving during sex.
The pathetic life of an Arky,my case is rested.
Dealing with Idiots

Hardy, AR

#182 Feb 20, 2013
Beck wrote:
<quoted text>
Actually, my "stupid and ignorant" self graduated with degrees in Criminal Justice and Computer Information Systems. Those are two of the 5 degrees and industry certifications that I have earned over the years. I graduated Suma Cum Laude from ASU with a 4.0 GPA and am an honorary member of Phi Theta Kappa. I work as a cybercrime investigator for an out-of-town LE agency.
I would hardly call your brand of filth you spew with your vile tongue intelligent reasoning. Oh, and for the record I am not a woman, you idiot. Something about your posts is very familiar. You sound like another winner on Topix that goes by the name "Memphian" who we all know to be Hal Mandelman of Memphis.
A boxing match is "uncivilized"? Maybe so in your case because I seriously doubt that you are able to move out of that chair without some sort of crane or come-along. Keep in mind Fudgie, that I am watching your posts carefully and that I do have the ability to petition Topix for IP addresses. Don't think I won't nail your ass if I see you break the law. You can mask your IP address or use your VPNs, but the big boys can run traces right through such screens and botnets. That was your first and only warning.
Fudgie, just where exactly are you a pastor? I cannot imagine a church letting someone like you lead their congregation. Where were you ordained and when? You are an obtuse walking(?) oxy-moron. Everything you say reflects back the hypocrisy that comes from your own words. You are an example of why Christians have been persecuted over the centuries. Do you want to be hated? "Do unto others... Judge not..." I wonder where those quotes came from. Do you even OWN a bible?
Regarding the barnyard references: I do believe it was you that initiated those references by saying that having sex with a woman from Sharp County is the same as bestiality. Did you not also mention that sex with livestock is "cleaner and better able to start a family with?" Once again, oxy-MORON comes to mind, with an emphasis on the moron part.
Come down from your pulpit and repent, you vile speaking serpent who wishes to bring angst and dissent among the residents of the area. Am I sounding "stupid and ignorant" enough for you yet? If not, then how about this: f*ck off and die!
No boxing match eh? Can't physically do it can you? Well then, how about a DEBATE. The only weapon allowed is your intellect, so you better load up your BB gun, should you choose to take me up on the challenge.
Did I mention to go and f*ck yourself?
BTW "way to stupid" contains the misuse of the words "to, too, and two." It should read "way TOO stupid" you imbecile. And why do you keep calling jack "calamityjackoff"? Is this a fantasy you have?
Just curious
He is a pastor of satirical internet posts. This person is a troll, masking as a real pastor to rile everyone up. He's purposefully taking the view of the "moral," Christian right and exposing its hypocrisy through his denigrating comments. It's is beyond obvious this person is not a pastor. He's just some bored man trying to have fun with a few locals. Or, it may even be a female. If so, I apologize.
Cantmakethiscrap up

Fort Lauderdale, FL

#183 Feb 20, 2013
If we buy enough beer & wine, Walmart can purchase some more electric carts for the people who REALLY need to use them, not just the obese, who CHOOSE to use them, letting the elderly make their way around with canes...

Since: Feb 13

Location hidden

#185 Feb 20, 2013
Cantmakethiscrapup wrote:
If we buy enough beer & wine, Walmart can purchase some more electric carts for the people who REALLY need to use them, not just the obese, who CHOOSE to use them, letting the elderly make their way around with canes...
Amen Sistah (or Brotha!)
random

Ash Flat, AR

#186 Feb 26, 2013
Hey, Satan is selling beer at the Red Mule now too if you dont feel like driving to Wal-Mart.
Dry County Drinker

Batesville, AR

#189 Feb 28, 2013
Harold1000 wrote:
When Satan puts a in a liquor store anybody know where it will be yet? Somewhere in the Hardy, Highland or Ash flat area I hope.
The ABC will not accept applications for retail liquor store permits until March 1. Applications will be accepted for a 60 day period after which time there will be a drawing for the order in which the permit applications will be heard by the ABC Board. Then you will know where the 4 stores most likely will be located.
Non smoker

Ash Flat, AR

#190 Feb 28, 2013
It may have been mentioned but the tobacco drive thru shop on the 4 lane has added on to the building . I wonder if they are hoping to have a drive thru for beer ?
Connie Kay

Hardy, AR

#192 Mar 3, 2013
Pastor Fuzz wrote:
The Devil has truly landed in our neighborhood. I know now, that the Devil can come to us in any shape or form.
He has taken on the shape of Beer, that's right Beer!
He has landed in the Ash Flat WalMart in the form of Beer!
Please, join me and my congregation in a peaceful protest, Saturday February 2, from 12pm to 5pm in front of the Ash Flat WalMart.
We must exorcise this Evil force out of the store! Hallelujah, hallelujah! praise Jesus! praise Jesus!
The alcohol is the lest of your problems.Try the seven deadly sins ,alive and well in the quad countys .IMO
Sam I am

Mountain Home, AR

#193 Mar 4, 2013
Pastor Fuzz wrote:
Well, I must say, congrats are in order too all of the Downtown Hardy business owners.
You guys kicked some major butt in this thread, and I am very proud of all of you!
Keep up the good work, Hardy's downtown future is looking better and better everyday, thanks too you strong and fearless business people.
Will any of you run for Mayor in the next election? I sure do hope so!
if your husband is cheating on you, its not the other woman you should worry about, it's your husbands actions. Don't chase down the other woman because you are jealous and angry that your husband did what he did. even though they both are wrong because she probably knows he is married, you need to buck up and remember...keep your friends close..keep your enemies closer? Your husband is nasty for what he is doing and he is the one married..go after him.
six six six

Mountain Home, AR

#194 Mar 7, 2013
Scanners reader for numberd of the Beast.
Sam I am

Mountain Home, AR

#195 Mar 12, 2013
My friend asked me the other day, "At your age, what would you prefer to get -- Parkinson's or Alzheimer's?"

I answered, "Definitely Parkinson's. Better to spill half an ounce of Jack Daniels than to forget where you keep the bottle."

hater

Melbourne, AR

#196 Mar 24, 2013
Satan was at wal-mart long before beer was sold there...her name is meagan harbison.
Slave

Mountain Home, AR

#197 Mar 26, 2013
Think u'r screwed working in Stateside factories, the china workers really gets the shaft making low quality products for wally world.
Sam I Am

Mountain Home, AR

#198 Apr 1, 2013
DRUNK STORY OF THE MONTH
A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders
a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table.
He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest,
meanest, biker in the face and says:'I went by your grandma's house
today and I saw her in the hallway buck-naked. Man, she is one fine
looking woman!'

The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are
confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a
hat.

The drunk leans on the table again and says:'I got it on with your
grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!'

The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still
says nothing.

The drunk leans on the table one more time and says,'I'll tell you
something else, boy, your grandma liked it!'

At this point the biker stands up,takes the drunk by the shoulders
looks him square in the eyes and says..........

'Grandpa.......... Go home!'

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