#175 Feb 6, 2013
#176 Feb 6, 2013
Went out last night and got really wasted. I woke up in the middle of
the night next to some chick who was snoring and farting, so I knew I
made it home OK!
The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie
last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her
I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next shit could
My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault.
I should have taken them off.
I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or
"foreplay" as she likes to call it.
After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were
going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed
herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, "Fuck it, soldier
I woke up this morning at 8, and could smell something was wrong. I got
downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not
breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered
McDonald's serves breakfast until 11:30.
Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week. Took her to the fair
last night, and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.
The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told
her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"
My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she
screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!" "Oh," I
replied, "so now you want me to stay!"
A Catholic boy in confession says, "Bless me Father, I have sinned, I
masturbated while thinking about my sister." "That's a disgrace, said
the priest, especially when you have two gorgeous brothers."
I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife look
like she's moving during sex.
#177 Feb 6, 2013
Damn it Pastor Fuzz! Why don't you pay any attention too me anymore? You got my love muffin all wet and horny and now you disappear? I want you to throw me down on all fours and treat me like the horny beast I am! Pastor Fuzz, you can be "passed my fuzz"!!!
#178 Feb 18, 2013
You're all goofy.
#179 Feb 18, 2013
Satan comes in the form of yankee haters ,Califonia haters all outsider haters not in the form of beer ,it is you all in Ar.ur just evil haters.Beer wont help,may end a few haters.
#180 Feb 18, 2013
Heres one ignorant too.
#181 Feb 18, 2013
The pathetic life of an Arky,my case is rested.
#182 Feb 20, 2013
He is a pastor of satirical internet posts. This person is a troll, masking as a real pastor to rile everyone up. He's purposefully taking the view of the "moral," Christian right and exposing its hypocrisy through his denigrating comments. It's is beyond obvious this person is not a pastor. He's just some bored man trying to have fun with a few locals. Or, it may even be a female. If so, I apologize.
#183 Feb 20, 2013
If we buy enough beer & wine, Walmart can purchase some more electric carts for the people who REALLY need to use them, not just the obese, who CHOOSE to use them, letting the elderly make their way around with canes...
Since: Feb 13
#185 Feb 20, 2013
Amen Sistah (or Brotha!)
#186 Feb 26, 2013
Hey, Satan is selling beer at the Red Mule now too if you dont feel like driving to Wal-Mart.
#189 Feb 28, 2013
The ABC will not accept applications for retail liquor store permits until March 1. Applications will be accepted for a 60 day period after which time there will be a drawing for the order in which the permit applications will be heard by the ABC Board. Then you will know where the 4 stores most likely will be located.
#190 Feb 28, 2013
It may have been mentioned but the tobacco drive thru shop on the 4 lane has added on to the building . I wonder if they are hoping to have a drive thru for beer ?
#192 Mar 3, 2013
The alcohol is the lest of your problems.Try the seven deadly sins ,alive and well in the quad countys .IMO
#193 Mar 4, 2013
if your husband is cheating on you, its not the other woman you should worry about, it's your husbands actions. Don't chase down the other woman because you are jealous and angry that your husband did what he did. even though they both are wrong because she probably knows he is married, you need to buck up and remember...keep your friends close..keep your enemies closer? Your husband is nasty for what he is doing and he is the one married..go after him.
#194 Mar 7, 2013
Scanners reader for numberd of the Beast.
#195 Mar 12, 2013
My friend asked me the other day, "At your age, what would you prefer to get -- Parkinson's or Alzheimer's?"
I answered, "Definitely Parkinson's. Better to spill half an ounce of Jack Daniels than to forget where you keep the bottle."
#196 Mar 24, 2013
Satan was at wal-mart long before beer was sold there...her name is meagan harbison.
#197 Mar 26, 2013
Think u'r screwed working in Stateside factories, the china workers really gets the shaft making low quality products for wally world.
#198 Apr 1, 2013
DRUNK STORY OF THE MONTH
A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders
a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table.
He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest,
meanest, biker in the face and says:'I went by your grandma's house
today and I saw her in the hallway buck-naked. Man, she is one fine
The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are
confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a
The drunk leans on the table again and says:'I got it on with your
grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!'
The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still
The drunk leans on the table one more time and says,'I'll tell you
something else, boy, your grandma liked it!'
At this point the biker stands up,takes the drunk by the shoulders
looks him square in the eyes and says..........
'Grandpa.......... Go home!'
Add your comments below
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